The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan
by CCS AnGeL00
Summary: [GohanVidel] Videl's just trying to deal with 2 hyper demi-saiyans, an arrogant prince, a plethora of obsessive fanclubs, and Drunk!Gohan.
1. Misadventures in Babysitting

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
**_Chapter 1: Videl's Misadventures in Babysitting_

* * *

Videl Satan walked slowly down the street, not really paying attention to where she was going. She had flown the helicopter to a safe location and decided, perhaps optimistically if not foolishly, to walk the rest of the way. When she had left her house the sky had been clear and bright blue; the heavy gray clouds that were quickly filling up the sky were clearly an indication of Videl's less than spectacular weather predicting skills. She estimated it would be less than twenty minutes before she was completely soaked in a torrential downpour. She mentally lectured herself for not listening to Miya, the housekeeper and her best adult friend, who had tried to persuade her to take an umbrella before she left.

Well, at least she wasn't wearing white.

She kicked a garbage can and knocked it over, inadvertently hitting a young man into the street who barely missed an oncoming ice cream truck. When he glared at her she smirked; what was that Trunks' idiot father always said? Something about being prepared for anything, even in times of peace. He usually spouted off nonsense about low class citizens, brats, women and respect, but sometimes he actually made some sort of sense.

Videl rolled her eyes. That was about as often as Gohan turned down a good meal.

She probably hated Vegeta with a passion that rivaled her hatred for her father. Hercule's general outlook on life that that the world revolved around him, and, just this morning when had she patiently reminded him the planets revolve around the sun and not an aging prize fighter who could probably be beaten by her friend's kid brother, he hadn't exactly looked happy. He'd yelled, she'd yelled; he stormed out, she stormed out.

Her day went from bad to worse when she was walking down the street and a young man told her how good she'd look in his new silk sheets. What followed was a few choice curse words and a clean clip to the jaw. She underestimated his intelligence and swiftness and started walking away when he took a cheap shot by elbowing her in the eye while her head was turned to the side. She then kicked him into a manhole. A closed manhole.

She touched her eye and felt it swell up. No doubt it'd be black and blue in the morning. How could she be so careless? She cursed her bad luck and continued onto her journey to Gohan's house. Gohan's house! Careless, indeed, allowing herself to get talked into babysitting his younger brother and trouble-making best friend while Gohan studied. Gohan was cute, but, really. He wasn't _that _cute.

_It couldn't get any worse._

The skies obliged and opened up, leaving a soaked Videl on the doorstep of the Sons'.

_When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut?_

* * *

"Now, be on your best behavior for Videl. It won't do to have you scare away your future sister-in-law." Chi-Chi wagged a threatening finger at Goten as she put the finishing touches on her outfit. She turned to Trunks and grabbed her purse from behind the sofa he was sitting on with his parents. "One bad complaint about you, young man, and you won't be seeing this house for a very long time."

"Come on Chi, they'll be good. Calm down," Goku soothed, entering the room. His eldest son trailed after him, looking solemn.

"Don't worry Mom! I'll be on my best behavior." Goten insisted, stars in his dark eyes. "Videl's the greatest!" Not for the first time, Chi-Chi was overtaken by the eerie similarities between her youngest son and happy-go-lucky husband.

"I just hope she lasts longer then the former babysitter." Trunks had a suspicious glint in his eye. Maybe putting a spider on his face while he was sleeping was a little much. Or the time they locked him out of the house in his underwear when it was snowing. Or the time they created the fake internet dating profile and posted it to dudes who do other dudes dot com?

In any case, _Uncle_ Yamcha was now their _former_ babysitter.

"Mom. Please don't make any future in-law jokes." Gohan's palms were getting sweaty. "When are you leaving, by the way?"

"Soon. Don't worry, Gohan, Chi-Chi and I still have time to have a little talk with Videl," Bulma said, her bright blue eyes shining.

Vegeta groaned. "This," he drawled, "is the stupidest plan I have ever been in involved in. Why should I—" he rants were interrupted by Chi-Chi's infamous frying pan, which her sons have learned to respect and fear. "What the hell was that for?!"

Bulma slapped him on the back of the head. "Watch your mouth Vegeta. There are children in the room."

Before anyone could blink, Vegeta was on his feet, hovering over Chi-Chi and her cast iron. Goku was at her side immediately, a mild, unreadable expression on his handsome face. "If you think I'm going to allow some inferior, low class _human_ – "

Bulma grabbed her husband by the shirt, which surprised everyone in the room, notably Goku (who was prepared to punch Vegeta into next week for threatening his wife) and _especially_ Vegeta. "Listen to me and listen to me good. You will not ruin this for Gohan, do you understand? You will leave without a fuss and have a good time making fun of the weaklings on this planet. You will not intimidate my best friend, or fight with her husband, or cause trouble at _all._" Bulma hissed into his ear. "Got that, mister?!"

Vegeta snorted.

"That's a _yes ma'am_ in Saiyan," Gohan said raising an eyebrow.

Everyone jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" Goten raced for the door, and when he pulled it open, it revealed a soaking Videl. "VIDEL!" Goten hugged her legs. "I haven't seen you in forever! Now I have someone to play with besides Trunks! No offense Trunks, but beating the pickles out of you and Gohan every day is getting really boring."

Vegeta glanced at his son, who immediately dove behind Goten. "It's not true, Dad!"

"Hey kiddo, are you being good?" she asked, patting his spiky hair. "Or are you wreaking havoc with Lucifer's child over there?"

"Well... Mom said Trunks is a bad influence on me! Hey, what happened to your eye? Did someone hurt you?"

Videl flushed. "It was stupid really—"

Gohan crossed the room, pulling Goten from her legs. "Videl? What happened?" He probed her eye with gentle fingers.

"How sweet," Bulma breathed.

Videl blushed harder and moved from Gohan's grip. "I was careless. Some jerk tried to get me to go out with him." She noted Gohan's left eye twitching. "It's no big deal."

"What'd you do to the guy?" Trunks asked. For a human, especially a girl, Videl got into heaps of mischief that Trunks only dreamed about. And she got away with it to boot.

"I threw him into a manhole," Videl said smoothly. She could tell that Gohan seemed conflicted: on one hand, the guy deserved it. On the other hand, a normal human being could get really hurt falling ten feet into the sewer… "Don't worry, Gohan. I called an ambulance. Later."

"Hn. Well it seems that Kakkarot's brat picked a violent mate," Vegeta smirked. A crooked smile danced sardonically across his face. "A common one at that, but that in itself doesn't surprise me."

"Vegeta," Videl feigned concern, "your face is all contorted. Are you having a stroke?"

"Listen here, you horrid little brat..."

Videl positioned herself. "I'll take you anytime, anywhere. Only," she paused, mockingly in thought, "maybe you don't want to get your good spandex dirty?"

"Videl, please stop baiting —" started Gohan.

"Please Vegeta, you could really hurt—" Goku tried.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" they shouted in unison.

"Do you dare you defile the name of Vegeta?" asked its prince. This little human had more guts than he thought. It was too bad that it would lead to her own undoing. And probable death.

"I dare." Unfortunately, Gohan had only told her the bare basics about the Saiyan race, and although she knew that Vegeta was the Prince of the extinct race and a formidable warrior, she had no idea exactly what kind of trouble she was getting herself into.

It was Chi-Chi that forced Videl and Vegeta to stop glaring at one another and turn. It was difficult to ignore Chi-Chi when she was screaming. "NO! You will not hurt Gohan's future wife and YOU WILL NOT DESTROY MY HOUSE! Remember that time you blew up the kitchen wall? The water that comes out of my faucet is still a little green!"

Goku cocked his head thoughtfully. "You know, I thought my tea tasted funny."

"Mom, Vegeta, Videl," Gohan said weakly. This was getting out of hand quickly.

"Vegeta, I think you've made your point," Goku pointed out. He didn't want any animosity; he only wanted dinner!

"I've had enough of you, whelp," Vegeta declared, bursting into the bright yellow flames that signified the transformation into a Super Saiyan. He threw his head back and laughed. "Not so tough now, are you?"

Videl was impassive, but the inklings of doubt began to brew within her. "Bring. It. On."

"No!" Goten cried, jumping in front of Videl. "You can't hurt her, I won't let you! Videl's too nice to be blown up! Besides, we won't have a babysitter tonight!"

Gohan stepped in front of Goten and Videl. "Don't even think about it, Vegeta."

It hit her, then, as she stood in the middle of Gohan's living room in a dripping wet coat across from the one of the most dangerous men in the universe that perhaps… perhaps challenging Vegeta to a fight wasn't one of the smartest decisions she'd ever made. The fact that Gohan, Goten, and even Goku had formed a makeshift Super Saiyan Shield around her certainly seemed to reinforce her stupidity. For a moment, all she could hear was the sound of her own teeth grinding.

Her pride was likely going to be the _literal_ death of her one day.

She was trying to decide how to say _I give up_ without feeling like a total moron when Chi-Chi basically did it for her.

"Videl, sweetheart, why don't you get out of your wet clothes and make yourself at home?" The tension in the room popped like a balloon at her words. Beside her, Gohan let out a breath that he was unaware he was holding. "Just ignore Vegeta, that's what we all do."

"I'll show you to our room." Goku put a strong hand on the small of Videl's back and started to lead her toward the back of the house. "I'm sure Chi-Chi has dry clothes that you can change into."

"Thanks, Goku." Heaven help her, looking at Vegeta, ablaze in yellow and seething anger, she couldn't help but get in one last dig as she left. "Don't miss me too much now, Vegeta."

There was a stunned silence. Then:

"It amuses me that a mere girl, especially a human one, would stand up to me even if I were to kill her." Vegeta lowered his ki and dropped to his normal state. "It is marginally impressive."

Gohan exploded. "THERE WILL BE NO KILLING HERE TODAY, ESPECIALLY OF VIDEL!"

Would it kill his family to just _pretend_ to be normal for five minutes?

"I agree," said Chi-Chi, brandishing the skillet like a broad sword. "Because if Videl is dead, she can't give birth to my grandchildren."

_Kill me now._

* * *

Sometime later, after Videl had changed into a pair of Chi-Chi's wonderfully dry tank top and shorts, she ended up in the kitchen with Chi-Chi, Bulma, and an icepack over her rapidly swelling eye. Chi-Chi knelt in front of her, putting gentle pressure on the injury. "It's really very nice of you to do this for Gohan. He's so lucky to have a girlfriend like you."

Videl's could feel the embarrassment seep through her toes to her cheeks, which were undoubtedly turning red. "Wait, I never said I—"

"Don't be shy," Bulma waved her hand. "Men like an outgoing woman. Well – no one really knows what kind of woman Gohan likes. You're really the first girl he's ever taken an interest in."

"Really?"

"Can you hear what they're saying?" Goku whispered to Gohan, who had a cup to the door of the kitchen.

"Shhh! Maybe I'd be able to hear something if you guys would be quiet."

"Why is everyone getting so excited?" Vegeta asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Because she's Videl! Videl, Videl, you ring my bell! You sure are swell! Gohan uses lots of gel! Trunks sometimes smells! You guys beat Cell! " Goten sang, testing out his recently attained ability to rhyme. Sometimes it was cute, but usually it was just annoying. Like right now.

"I'm in hell," Vegeta added gruffly.

"Hey! Good job, Vegeta! That rhymed!"

"Shh, I hear them," Gohan said, waving his hand.

"You know, it's not every day that someone stands up to Vegeta," Gohan heard Bulma say. "He needs to be told to shut it by someone other than me sometimes. He's amazing to look at until he opens his mouth – sometimes he's louder than Chi-Chi!"

"Augh, don't talk that way in front of me. I don't associate the words 'hot' and 'Vegeta' in the same sentence unless it's _me _throwing _him _into a _hot _substance," Videl muttered.

"Why do you dislike him so much?" Bulma asked, almost amused.

Videl had to think about that before answering. "Honestly? He takes himself so seriously. It's fun to get a rise out of him."

"Women... it's a conspiracy," Vegeta growled, grabbing Trunks' cup and putting it to the door.

"It's so good to talk to you like this, Videl. If you ever need to talk, we're here," said Chi-Chi, putting her hand on Videl's.

"Even about stuff you wouldn't want to talk about with anyone else, like sex," Bulma said with a straight face.

"WHAT!? Oh no, I don't think that's—"

"Oh it's okay, don't be embarrassed. Sex is the most natural thing in the world. There are lots of misconceptions about it. Like Vegeta for instance, you would think he would **mumblemumble** but in reality he **mumblemumble** and boy can he **mumblemumble**," Bulma revealed.

"I love the way Goku makes me feel when he **mumbles**," Chi-Chi said dreamily.

Videl was clearly too appalled to say a word.

The men strained their ears to hear, almost falling on each other. They tipped their cups to the door, but the conversation suddenly became very low and almost inaudible. They did, however, hear what Videl had to say in response.

"BULMA! EEEEEEEEEEW I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!"

The men fell through the door in surprise, landing on top of each other. Gohan quickly jumped up and ran to the shivering Videl.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Gohan put his hands on her shoulders.

"Sex. Sex. Sex and **mumbles**. I can't talk about it," Videl gasped, shaking the demi-saiyan profusely. "I'm already suffering from post-traumatic stress. OH GOD, here comes a flashback."

"Chi-Chi, Bulma. That really wasn't very nice," Goku scolded. "Gosh, I'd be scared to hear this stuff from you guys."

"I didn't know she was so sensitive - " Bulma was interrupted by the doorbell. "Oh, that must be Yamcha."

Vegeta turned to glare at his wife. "I'm going home."

"Come on, Vegeta, don't be like that! Yamcha said he knew a really great buffet place that _never _runs out of food! How could you say no to that!?" Goku drooled slightly, a dreamy expression on his face.

"I thought Yamcha didn't like to come here anymore," Gohan said, surprised. "After that online dating incident, he swore he would never have anything to do with satanic Saiyan children ever again."

"I told him we hired a new babysitter and he said he would be right over," Chi-Chi said.

"Uh oh," Bulma said looking a bit sick. "We better hide her. She's small enough to hide in that cabinet."

"Or the oven," Vegeta said casually.

"Vegeta, behave. I don't want a repeat of what happened to Mr. Hoppy, understand?" Bulma admonished.

"Mr. Hoppy," Trunks lamented.

"Oh will you shut up about that stupid rabbit?" Vegeta grunted.

"Hide me?" Videl asked, as she bet down to give Goten a piggyback ride. "I don't think I understand."

"Just meet him outside!" Gohan practically pushed his parents out. The last time Yamcha and Videl were in the same room, he hit on her and she almost broke his nose. Gohan, who almost self-destructed he was so angry, had to physically restrain himself from doing worse. "They might run out of food before you get there, Dad."

Goku's innocent eyes went wide. "Can that really happen? Oh no! Let's go!" he threw open the front door, which, of course, swung right into Yamcha's face.

"_Dude_," the former baseball player protested. "Not cool!"

"Sorry, Yamcha!" sang Goku, who wasn't sorry enough not to push past him on the way to the jetcopter. _Karma_, Gohan thought, as Yamcha crumpled to the ground on the front steps.

"Be good for Videl, okay Trunks? No mischief," Bulma warned, pointing her finger at her son. "Or I'll let Marron play dress up with you, take pictures and post them on the internet."

Trunks shuddered.

"Come on," Bulma said, yanking Yamcha to his feet.

"Wait," he protested, "I wanted to say hi to Videl!"

Bulma practically dragged him away. "You can say hi to her when she turns eighteen. _Maybe_."

"And do try to get some studying done, Gohan," Chi-Chi said as she ran after her husband. "After all, that _is_ why Videl is here. Don't do anything cute until we get back!"

A quiet descended. It was nice. Refreshing. Videl and Gohan practically basked in it.

"You sure have got an interesting family," Videl commented lightly.

"You don't even know half of it."

* * *

_Edited 05.03.13_


	2. Misadventures in Grimm Fairy Tales

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
**_Chapter 1, Part II**:** Vegeta's Grimm Fairy Tales_

* * *

Adventures in babysitting continued.

For a moment – one extraordinarily peaceful moment – there was only Videl, Gohan, Goten and Trunks, standing in silence in the middle of the Son living room. There were no crazy Saiyan princes trying to destroy weaklings. No one was running round with cookware handing out concussions like candy. No one was trying to talk to her about _how babies were made_.

It was so, so nice.

Of course, it couldn't last very long.

Goten started to bounce around Videl. "Can we play now? Please, please, please?!"

Videl glanced at her watch. "Your Mom said you guys could eat a snack now. How about we bake some cookies?"

"Yay!" Goten cheered.

"I better get to studying," said Gohan regretfully. He wouldn't have minded spending a bit more time hanging out with Videl, but if he didn't study, his mother would have his head.

"Skipping out on the work, Gohan? Fine, don't blame me if these two get to all the cookies first."

"I'll have to risk it," Gohan opened the door to his bedroom. "Oh and Videl, if I hadn't already thanked a thousand times for doing this... thanks." He quickly closed his door, before she could see his blush.

"... you're welcome."

"Can we go make the cookies now, Videl?" Goten asked, tugging on the young girl's shirt.

"Sure, let's go," Videl pulled out a baking sheet from Chi-Chi cupboard. "What do you think, Trunks? How many should we make?"

"I don't know... a thousand?" Trunks cocked his head thoughtfully. "Better make it two thousand. Gohan and Goku will want some for sure, and Father too, though he won't come right out and say it. He'll just steal 'em later when no one's watching."

"TWO THOUSAND?! That's more than some bakeries have!" Videl exclaimed. Goten and Trunks' eyes watered dangerously. "Okay, okay... two thousand it is... we'll need about seven hundred eggs, sixty-five pounds of flour, and forty-seven pounds of sugar..." Videl quickly calculated. "And about four hundred bags of chocolate chips."

"Yay!" Goten cheered again.

(A million cookies later…

At least, it felt like a million cookies later…)

"Trunks, will you _please _stop eating the raw cookie dough? You'll damage what few precious brain cells remain," Videl commented, putting the one hundred and sixtieth cookie sheet in front of him. "Okay, this is the last sheet. Do your stuff, boys."

"You mean I'll end up like Goten?" Trunks was horrified as he warmed the cookies slightly with his_ ki_.

"Brain what?" Goten asked, wiping his nose and smudging flour all over his face.

"Whew, I'm exhausted. This is the last time I ever volunteer to feed Saiyans," Videl muttered, collapsing into a chair. "I wonder how Goku and the others are doing at that buffet place."

* * *

"Excuse me, but I will have to ask you to leave now," the manager of _China Max_ told Goku and his companions. On a second thought he added, "And never ever come back."

"Don't you know who I am?" Bulma asked angrily.

"Yes, but, I'm afraid _everyone_ has to leave. Thanks to your two male friends, there is no food left. Anywhere. _At all_," the manager looked rightly miffed. "Disgusting!"

"Gohan was right about them running out of food. How terrible!" Goku was severely affronted.

"You pathetic people should be on your hands and knees begging to serve one as great as Pr—" Vegeta's speech was cut off with a sharp elbow to his side. He turned to muster a glare at his wife.

"I thought this was an all-you-can-eat place," said Yamcha.

"All you can eat doesn't mean you can eat it all!" the distressed manager screamed.

Goku turned Chi-Chi. "I don't understand. I was only up to my forty-third portion..."

"Let's go. It's obvious our business isn't wanted here," Bulma said indignantly. "There's a buffet down the block which I'm sure will be more than happy to feed my friends here."

"Good riddance," the manager exclaimed, sighing as the destructive group vacated his place of business. "People today. _Insatiable_. I just feel bad for the other restaurants."

* * *

"Good night boys," Videl whispered, reaching to shut off their lamp.

"Wait, Videl! You have to tell us a bedtime story." Goten's lower lip quivered. Not for the first time, Videl noted that the Son Pout was a very powerful technique indeed.

"Goten, I'm totally wiped out. You little powerhouses are a handful," said Videl. She was definitely not whining, no. "Can't you wait for your moms?"

"Nononononono! If you don't tell us one, how will we fall asleep?" Trunks asked.

"Okay fine, but a short one," Videl warned. "Then, you go to sleep."

"Yay!" the half-Saiyans screamed in unison.

"Okay... hm... how about 'The Three Little Pigs'?" Videl asked, sitting between their sleeping mats.

"No! That one's too scary!" protested Trunks, turning a bit blue.

"When did 'The Three Little Pigs' turn into a scary story? Was it that long ago I heard it?" Videl scratched her head. "Isn't it about three pigs who made houses out of different materials and there's a wolf who wants to eat them?"

"I think the person who told you that was thinking of the old version. Vegeta told us the real story," Goten informed her, pulling the blankets up to his nose.

Videl cocked an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Y-yea. Dad said that there were three pigs, and the littlest pig was disobedient, didn't train and hung out with a low class pig whose father was the stupidest pig in all of Fairytale Land. Anyway, the father pig hired a hit wolf to take care of the bad little pig to teach him a lesson," Trunks said almost tearfully. "The hit wolf huffed and puffed and blew the... the..."

"The house down?" Videl injected.

"The little pig up!" Goten flailed his small arms. "But before that, the father warned the little pig he would forever be damned into the darkness if he was bad AGAIN!"

"Okay, note to self: never let Vegeta ever tell anyone bedtime stories," Videl murmured. "How about Hansel and Gretal?"

"Isn't that... the one about the two bad little boys?" Trunks asked fearfully.

"..."

"I remember that one! Vegeta told us that there were two little boys... except their names were Toten and Grunks. Yeah, and they were sent into the forest to prove that they were men but were amazed to see a house in the middle of the forest that they were surprised to find that it was made out of—" Goten scratched his small head.

"Cookies and candies?" Videl asked hopefully.

"No... erm... oh yea! The intestinal tracts of bad little boys who didn't respect their elders!" Goten said, proud of himself. "There lived a wicked blue haired witch who was banished from the village years ago, because she infuriated the Prince by being... I think it was called... an infidel... hrmm... for attempting to poison the Prince on many occasions... well anyway, that's not important. She then forced the two boys eat her cooking, paralyzing them. Then she... she... she..."

"She...?" Videl was almost afraid.

"MADE THEM GO SHOPPING!" Trunks screamed wringing a pillow in his hands.

"Cinderella?" she inquired.

"Isn't that the one about the weakling blue hair peasant that marries a Prince and tries on a glass slipper way too small for her foot (even though the Prince told her that her feet were way too fat to wear it) and the Prince had to cut the disobedient woman's foot off?" Trunks asked curiously.

"Goldilocks and the Three Bears?" Videl asked weakly.

"Don't you mean Navylocks and The Three Monkeys?" Trunks snuggled into his pillow. "There were once three monkeys who lived in a small house in the woods. The biggest one was also the stupidest and thought it was fun to pretend to be the strongest monkey in the world. The middle was the spawn of the big monkey, who had a tendency to be really boring and geeky, and really didn't bother to train 'cuz he was too busy at the library or on dates with a loud mouthed monkey mate. The smallest monkey was the most handsome, was very noble, brave, and strong. He knew he was the most powerful being because he was a Prince and way better than the other monkeys. It all started when a girl whose name we find out is Navylocks wandered into their cabin. The first two monkeys (being as dumb as they were) both liked the seemingly innocent girl, trusted her fully to cook and build many machines for the monkey's house. The littlest monkey did not trust her at all. He knew what kind of a woman she really was. She crossed the small monkey prince many times, but he spared her pathetic life. But one day, he couldn't take it anymore! He laid down the law, making the girl beg for her pathetic life."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Goten agreed, his eyes wide open.

"'Oh please, Monkey Prince, spare my pathetic life! I'll be your faithful servant for the rest of your life!'" Trunks said in a high-pitched voice. "'I'll learn to cook and I'll even call you Master!' Needless to say, the monkey prince was very happy with his new slave. So happy, that a little while later, they spawned a little half monkey half human together, living, if not happily, ever after."

"What happened to the other two monkeys?" Videl asked casually.

"I dunno. Killed in a freak eating accident I think," Goten said. "Was that before or after the prince beat them up leaving them shamed for all eternity? Before I guess..."

Trunks shuddered. "Sometimes Dad is funny, but I can't sleep after his scary stories."

Videl pondered her predicament. She wanted the boys to get to sleep, but they wouldn't go to sleep without a bedtime story and every story she knew Vegeta probably twisted around to sound like a Stephen King novel. What to do... "Okay, I'll tell you a story you've never heard before. It's not scary at all."

Gohan glanced into the open door, on his way to the kitchen for a glass of non-tap water. He figured this sounded a lot more interesting and decided to stick around for Videl's original story.

"Okay, once upon a time there was a boy named—" Videl started.

"Gohan!" Goten said happily. Gohan facefaulted by the door. Somehow he knew it would come to this.

"Okay... there once was a boy named Gohan. He was very—"

"Nerdy?" Trunks smirked.

"Don't talk about my big brother like that!" Goten yelled, enraged. He threw a punch at Trunks who dodged it with ease.

"Hey, hey. Be good or no story," Videl warned.

The stopped immediately, not wanting to go to bed without a story. Trunks dropped himself into Videl's lap, pulling down his lower eyelid and sticking his tongue out to Goten. Goten used Son Pout!, tears in his eyes. It was super effective. Videl smiled at him and put her right arm around him. "All right so, Gohan was a boy who was very smart, but was really strong. He was brave and a pretty nice guy all around."

"Can he be a mutant?" Trunks asked suddenly.

Gohan raised an eyebrow.

"Okay... Gohan was a mutant who -"

"Owned a bakery that only sold chocolate cupcakes! I like chocolate cupcakes."

"Okay, Gohan was a mutant who owned a bakery that sold only chocolate cupcakes-"

"And liked a really pretty girl named Videl!"

Videl coughed loudly. At the same time, Gohan quickly walked in, slapping his hand over Goten's mouth. "I think I better stick around for this story."

"I'm tired of mutants... can Gohan be a superhero?" Trunks asked, turning to face Videl.

"Sure. Gohan the superhero that owned a chocolate cupcake only bakery used to beat villains by-"

"Boring them to death! Yea! Making them do homework and giving them safety lectures," Trunks snickered. "And doing stupid poses."

"They are _not_ stupid!" Gohan protested weakly, although somewhere deep in his subconscious, he knew the truth.

"I am the Great Saiyaman! You there, you're not coloring in between the lines; that could be very dangerous! You sir, walking and chewing gum at the same time can cause accidents! You may get cavities. Miss, your shoes are a bit high, that can be hazardous and can even cause lower back problems," Trunks bellowed as he tied his blanket around his shoulders.

Videl fell over, clutching Goten and laughing hysterically. Goten giggled loudly and Gohan turned beet red from embarrassment.

"I'm not THAT bad..."

Videl smiled fondly at Gohan. "Gohan _is _a bit of a geek," she admitted. "But he's a cute geek."

"Eew," Goten and Trunks chorused with yawns, closing their eyes.

Gohan wondered if there was any blood in any other part of his body besides his face. He was pretty sure he was glowing in the dark. He tentatively touched his face. Yep, burning like molten lava and twice as red. He put his hand on the back of his head and laughed nervously.

"They're sleeping," Videl whispered, laying Trunks onto his mat. Gohan reached his hand out to her, picking her up from the floor easily. "Want to take a break from studying for a little while? There are plenty of cookies left if you want some."

"Sounds good," Gohan said, looking out the window. "Looks like a storm is heading this way."

"I hate storms," Videl said softly.

Gohan's eyes burned into hers. "Why?"

"I don't know. They're just scary. Hey, let's watch the news for the weather report," Videl walked to the living room. Gohan grabbed two handfuls of cookies from the kitchen before joining her on the couch.

Videl switched on the television trying to ignore the sounds of lightening in the background. Her dark blue eyes widened. "Gohan. Tell me that's not..."

"… And the top story today. A group of five unknown adults purged four buffet restaurants of all their resources. Hatoko Hagino is at the scene. Hatoko?" the announcer called.

"Over three _thousand_ pounds of food was engulfed by this group of food.. engulfers, eating everything in sight. After they were kicked out of the first restaurant, they made their way to their next binge sight thirteen minutes later. These people work fast, don't they?" Hatoko stifled a laugh. "Thanks to the team here at ZZTV, we have managed to put together a reenactment of alleged events."

"Waves and rocks," a voice sang. "Brought to you by waves and rocks."

Videl frowned. "Don't reporters do the _live_ thing, anymore? First the Cell Game video, now this. What is the world coming to?"

"Give me all your food, ha ha. I will eat all of your food, ha ha," a tall man wearing a "Goku" mask demanded.

"…" said Gohan.

"Yes, infidels. If you don't give me the food I... won't pay the bill, leaving you poor. Mwahaha," "Vegeta" laughed.

"..." said Gohan and Videl.

At the Kame house, reactions were similar.

"O... kay..." Krillin blinked twice. "Thank goodness I'm not in this one."

"Daddy, is that Mr. Goku and Mr. Vegeta on television? Why are they doin' bad stuff?" Marron asked, tugging at her father's sleeve.

"No dear, that man is too tall to be Vegeta," Eighteen pointed out. "They're just wearing masks to look like them. God only knows why..."

"I'm off to go hit on some unsuspecting woman, degrading her and making her feel like raw meat, ha ha," "Yamcha" ran off.

Krillin fell over, clutching his side from laughing with tears streaking down his face. "That sounds just like him," he squeaked between laughs.

"You ate my pork bun. Let's fight, ernk," "Goku" said in a monotone voice.

"Ho, hum, ernk," "Vegeta" grunted, "fighting" with "Goku". In the process, they knocked down a lot of town (milk cartons painted to look like buildings) and few Popsicle stick people.

"Oh no, I have a tummy ache from eating so much, I am dead," "Goku" said before exploding.

"Me too, stomach cramps, ernk, ho, ho, hum," "Vegeta" said. He promptly fainted.

"And there you have it ladies and gentleman. Justice is served. Hagino signing out."

Gohan stared disbelieving at the television. "I _so_ hope they play it again so I can tape it next time."

"There's always the ten o'clock news," Videl gasped. The phone rang three times before she conjured up the strength to pick it up. "Hello, Son residence. Videl speaking. Hey! You saw it too? Vegeta's going to have a royal heart attack when he sees that!" Videl turned to Gohan. "It's Krillin. Eighteen taped it? She made copies? Even better! Yeah, the kids and I made a billion cookies. Chocolate chip, what else? Sure, I'll save you some. Just checking up on me? Well, they haven't killed me yet. All right. Goodnight Krillin. Thanks for calling."

"Good 'ol Krillin," Gohan said fondly.

A clap of thunder followed by lightening made both teenagers jump.

"The storm is right on us. The time between the thunder and lightning is about half a second which means it's very close," Gohan souned as though he had swallowed a textbook. "And that means - "

"Thank you, professor Gohan," said Videl. With another clap of thunder, a flash of lightening and a shrill screech from down the hall, all the lights in the small house went out. "Oh, this is just lovely."

"Did you just scream?" Gohan asked, fumbling around to try to put a light on.

"That wasn't me."

"Trunks screams like a girrrrl, Trunks screams like a girrrrl," Goten sang as he and Trunks rushed into the living room. Trunks latched himself on Videl while Goten sat himself next to Gohan. "What happened?"

"This is just like Dad's story," Trunks whispered, ignoring Goten's teasing. "The one where-"

"Oh, let me guess. There was a bad blue haired woman and bad little children right?" Videl asked.

"No, there was this BIG BLUE MONSTER that ate little children during the night if they didn't train," Goten whispered.

"Goten listen. Vegeta was just making up a story to scare you guys. There is no big blue monster," Gohan soothed. "Besides, you guys train a lot so you're safe."

"Does that mean you're gonna be eaten?" Trunks asked innocently.

"Well, heh... when you put it like that..."

"GOHAN IS GOING TO GET EATEN?!" Goten screamed.

"No one is going to get eaten. We'll have to wait for the power to come back. Where are your parents?" Videl asked.

"Probably in jail," Gohan said offhandedly.

"Cool!" Trunks exclaimed.

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?" Videl asked. "I told you a story."

"We'd rather be with you guys!" Goten said. "And we're scared of the storm!"

Trunks looked offended. "I am NOT scared."

"Oh, great," Gohan said with some strain in his voice.

"Actually, we were going to go to sleep!" Videl said, trying an idea Miya had used on her many years ago.

"You were?" asked Trunks in disbelief.

"We were?" Gohan asked his voice cracking slightly.

She nudged him gently in the ribs. "Yes, Gohan, we were going to sleep, remember?"

He felt faint. "Together?" he whispered.

Goten looked at Trunks who shrugged. They closed their eyes and like true Saiyans, fell asleep immediately.

Videl opened her eyes and motioned for Gohan to go into the kitchen. "Worked like a charm," she whispered as she put a blanket over the two sleeping boys.

"You're incredible," Gohan whispered back as they made their way to the kitchen. "Trunks must really like you because I know he's not that gullible," Gohan stared at the piles of cookies on his kitchen table. "I do have one question though. Did you _really _bake two thousand dozen cookies?"

"I cheated a little. Trunks and Goten used their _ki_ to warm them up. I didn't have the patience to sit here and bake all night."

"You're just amazing," Gohan said with the goofy Son smile. He blushed lightly at his words. "I mean an amazing babysitter. Well, you're amazing at other stuff too. You're amazing in general- I MEAN uh... heh."

"Gohan," Videl said softly, moving closer to him.

"Yes?" he gulped loudly.

"Shut up."

The lights turned on suddenly. Videl smiled brightly at Gohan. His heart was beating so fast, he was sure that she could hear it. She put his hand on his cheek moving closer... he closed his eyes and before he felt her lips against his...

"We're home!" a loud voice called as they burst into the kitchen.

Gohan fell over in his chair with a yelp and Videl sat with her back as rigid as a board.

Goku scratched his head. "Did we interrupt something?"

"Was there something to interrupt?!" Chi-Chi asked excitedly.

"You mean you stopped being a complete and utter wimp long enough to make a move?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow.

"That's Vegeta's way of saying he's proud of you," Bulma said dryly.

"Our night was good Vegeta, thanks for asking. Was that YOU we saw on the six o'clock news?" Videl asked, changing the subject quickly.

Goku laughed. "There was a bit of a misunderstanding. Hey, who made all of these cookies!? So many..."

"Take as much as you want Goku," Videl said with a big smile.

"She's really cute, smart, a good fighter and baked all these cookies…" Goku said in amazement.

"Well," Videl blushed heavily.

"And you're planning on marrying this girl?" Goku asked between bites. "These cookies are great!"

Gohan fell over in his chair again. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" It was, Gohan was beginning to believe, a conspiracy.

"Please Kakkarot," Vegeta drawled as he brushed a crumb from his shirt, "The boy's seventeen, he doesn't need to think about marriage. What he _really_ needsis a good lay."

Gohan buried his head in his hands. "No, what I really need is a new family," he muttered under his breath.

There was a rare moment of awkward silence as the adults and the teens ate the cookies.

"Just for clarification, we did walk in on you kids doing something right? Oh, think of the grandchildren! I bet they'll be as cute as Videl and as tall as Gohan!"

So much for silence.

* * *

_Edited 05.03.13_


	3. Misadventures in Coaching

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
**_Chapter 2: Videl's Misadventures in Coaching_

* * *

Videl landed her jetcopter as close to her house as possible without signaling she was home. She figured this way she could just sneak up to her room without her dad giving her the third degree on where she had been, who she had been with, blah, blah, blah. Not that she minded usually, because it showed her that her father had been worried for her, but today she just wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep through most of her adolescent life.

Why in God's name had she agreed to be the manager for the worst girls' soccer team in the history of the _world_? The coach was totally clueless. He told her that because he didn't have enough players to complete a roster, he _randomly _picked people from her gym class and assigned them to the soccer team. Most of them had never played a sport, hated dirt and wouldn't dare entertain the thought of breaking her nail.

She sighed heavily. All she wanted was a nice hot bath and some peace and -

"But sir, I really don't think..." Videl blinked as she stood outside her front door. That voice sounded awfully familiar. She turned the doorknob, secure in the knowledge that she was now going completely insane, hearing Gohan's voice even when he wasn't around.

"Afraid of getting hurt, wimpy boy? Scared I'm gonna squash you like the bug that you are?"

"I'm not trying to sound disrespectful, but – " Gohan started, his voice low and.. ? Kind of threatening? What in the _world_?

"Ahem," Videl cleared her throat loudly, throwing her bag to the ground. "Hello, Daddy. Gohan, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, Videl! I was just having a chat with your _little _friend over here," Satan laughed heartily.

"Oh, look at the time," Gohan said glancing at his wrist. "Gotta go!"

"You're not wearing a watch."

"Then I should probably go and find it!" Gohan rushed out the door.

"I want to know what you were saying to him Daddy," Videl demanded. "On second thought, I'll just find out from him tomorrow. I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

Hercule sighed and turned back to his big screen. "Yeah, baby! Who's the best? Hercule's the best!"

"Daddy really needs a new hobby."

* * *

"Gohan, are you going to tell me what you were discussing with my father?" Videl asked. She'd asked him the same thing six times in the last hour to no avail. Apparently, Gohan wasn't cracking, not even after she offered to buy him half the cafeteria for lunch. They stood now, four feet apart in the west locker bank at Orange Star High School, trying to have a serious conversation among the chaos.

"Look, it's kind of private," Gohan muttered, reaching into his locker and pulling out his jacket. He slammed it shut and turned back to his object of infatuation. "Can't you just forget about it?"

Videl stared at him in disbelief. "You were talking to my dad about personal stuff?" Videl couldn't help herself. She burst into peals of laughter. "You and my dad had a heart to heart?! You would have a heart to heart with _Vegeta _before you went to my dad. That's really rich! Okay, now what were you really doing there?"

Gohan looked at the floor. "Gosh, you're being really pushy about practically nothing."

Videl bit her bottom lip and clenched her jaw. "Well FINE then. I'll just go and take my pushy self elsewhere! When you STOP BEING SUCH A JERK, then you can come talk to me!" She started to walk away when Gohan grabbed her elbow. "Hey! Let go of me!" She tried to elbow him in the chest but his grip was too strong.

By now, the majority of the student body had gathered around them, hiding behind the lockers to get a closer look as to what was going on. Erasa, being one of the brave few, and also, a close friend of the two, walked right up to them, curiosity overriding her danger sense.

"Hey Videl," Erasa greeted her best friend, currently being held in place by a rather perturbed looking Gohan. She stared up at him, question marks painted all over her pretty face. "Gohan. Am I... interrupting something?"

"Nothing at all!" Gohan laughed nervously.

"Did you hear an annoying buzz, Erasa?" Videl asked, finally managing to pull away from Gohan. "I surely didn't hear anyone talking. Sounded like a little bug or something."

There are five main characteristics of a Super Saiyan that are very important. In a weeks' time, they eat about one hundred times their body weight in food. Fighting is number one in their hearts. They are unbelievably arrogant fighters. They are completely unprepared when dealing with females from Earth. Lastly, they have a temper. It doesn't matter how good-natured they are, they are capable of transforming from nice and relaxed to crazed psycho in two-point-three-eight seconds. These are tempers that have been known to destroy people and planets. Tempers that have gotten them time-outs. Tempers that have gotten them into heaps of trouble.

And this was one of those times.

"FINE! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING TO YOUR DAD ABOUT?!" Gohan yelled, the veins throbbing in his neck. Everyone, including Videl and Erasa, took one step away from the locker bank. "I ASKED IF IT WAS OKAY TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE! ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW!?"

Videl raised her eyebrows. "Oh, is that all?"

The student body, Gohan included, blinked.

"W-what? Is that all you have to say?" asked Gohan timidly, still red in the face from his outburst. He was expecting something harsher. Something horrible. Something like… rejection.

But it never came.

Videl shrugged. "Let's talk about this," she peered behind the lockers where the students were struggling to get up, "another time. Meet me at the park later, okay?" she whispered into his ear.

"S-s-sure," Gohan stuttered, still not quite sure of the events that had just transpired.

"You can watch me coach practice of the Orange Star High girls' soccer team. Joy," Videl scrunched her nose in annoyance. "Where the players don't have a clue and the coach couldn't buy one for them if he had a million zeni."

"It's that?" Gohan asked with sympathy.

"You'll see."

* * *

"I'm home! I'm just putting my books down and them I'm leaving!" Gohan called into his small home.

"Just where are you going? Did you do your homework? Who are you going with? When will you be back?" Chi-Chi shot at him.

"The park, yes, I'm meeting Videl, and I don't know," Gohan said stuffing a cookie into his mouth.

"Okay, have a good time," Chi-Chi appeared uninterested. Gohan peered into the kitchen and looked at her bit strangely (after all, when was she _not_ interested in his life?) but said his goodbyes and ran out quickly, grabbing his jacket on the way.

Chi-Chi picked up her phone, dialing Bulma's number. "Bulma? Yes, they are going to the park. I wouldn't miss this chance for the world. I'll make food and we'll have a picnic! We can eat, discuss grandchildren... okay, see you there."

"Mom? Are we going somewhere? Where's Gohan?" Goten asked curiously, drifting into the kitchen.

"We're having a picnic at the park with Trunks' family and a few other people," Chi-Chi said carefully, getting a wicker basket down from the closet.

"Really?! Cool!" Goten cheered.

"He'll thank me someday," Chi-Chi said happily.

* * *

Videl leaned against a tall tree, idly fiddling with the whistle hanging around her neck. Maybe Gohan wouldn't come. Did he really ask her father if he could take her out on a date? Maybe he was just saying that to hide the real reason he was conversing with her father. But Gohan wouldn't do that... would he? Well… he had lied to her before, or, rather, concealed information, so he _would_ do that. But things were different now… weren't they?

Shit. Things were so complicated.

"Videl."

"Gohan," Videl turned around, startled. "I didn't realize you were standing there."

"About today," he scratched the back of his head.

"It's okay, if you really don't-"

"I'd like to take you out, Videl," Gohan said averting his gaze. "If that's alright with you. It's not alright with your father, I don't think it will _ever_ be alright with your father, but I guess it doesn't matter if it's alright with you… "

Videl stared at him. "Gohan..."

"Oh, would you answer the pathetic fool already? We don't have all day," a voice drawled from behind them.

"Vegeta! You ruin everything!" Bulma huffed, setting down a large picnic basket. "I can't take you anywhere!"

"Vegeta? Bulma?" Gohan groaned, hanging his head in defeat. "I give up. I can't go anywhere without you people following me, can I?"

A group of young girls walked slowly down the large field.

"So I told him, that if he wanted to take me out again, it better be somewhere expensive," a tall blond girl giggled. "I said, 'Look buddy! Oharu Chiba is way too good for Burger King, but if you don't think so, I'll go find someone else.' Well that shut him up!"

"You're sooo smart Oharu," a small redhead named Nahoko Egami gushed. "I wish I had my boyfriend on that short of a leash."

"Well he is a real dog," Koi Fujishama retorted.

"Don't be jealous Koi. Just because Yusuke wouldn't look at you twice doesn't mean you should take it out on us," Emiko Hohki rolled her blue-gray eyes.

"Shut up!"

The girls giggled loudly.

"Hello, girls," Videl said loudly, over the chortling. She glanced at her companions who had retreated to the shade of the tree to set up their blanket. "Cowards," she hissed.

"Hello, Upperclassman Videl," the girls chorused.

"Let's get started." She walked towards the middle of the field. "We'll stretch first. It's very important to stretch before doing anything physical."

The girls giggled again.

Videl refrained from rolling her eyes. "I see Coach Yanagiba skipped out on us today. What a surprise. We better go on without him. So, I'll demonstrate, and you can just imitate what I do." Videl sat on the ground, settling herself into a straddle split. "Don't hurt yourselves; just go as far as you can. The point isn't to paralyze yourselves, just to make sure you can move all your muscles easily on and off the field. Get it?"

"Wow, if I could do that, Yuksuke would marry me," Koi said in awe, straining her muscles. The other girls, although most seemed to be in quite good shape, couldn't get even the basics of the exercises Videl was demonstrating.

"Videl's quite flexible, isn't she?" Bulma commented lightly, amused at the looks on Gohan, Goku and even Vegeta's faces.

"I'm going to go for a walk now," Gohan breathed. He glanced at Videl pulling herself slowly to the ground and back up again. "A _really _long walk."

Trunks turned his head sideways. "Gee... Doesn't that hurt?"

Goten scratched his head. "The other girls sure look hurt."

Goku almost swallowed the chicken bone he was eating when Videl stretched her chin to her knee with ease. Vegeta choked on his insults. Damn. And he had so many good ones.

"Come on girls!" encouraged Videl. "Stretch!"

"Boy, wouldn't Yamcha love to see this?"

Oharu fell backwards with a groan. "Upperclassman Videl, this really hurts!"

"You're just not used to stretching so much. Would you rather run twenty laps around the whole park?" Videl stood up abruptly. "I don't know why I even bother."

"Can we just get to the real practice? I have a date," Emiko looked at her nails. "Hey, isn't that Upperclassman Gohan over there? Oh, is that his little brother? He's so cute! Wow, they can eat a whole lot."

"Aww, that kid with the lavender hair so adorable!"

"Wow, Gohan's father is so built!"

"Why is that short guy glaring at us?"

Videl smacked herself. She blew her whistle loudly, making everyone wince. "Let's concentrate on soccer and not Gohan, alright!?"

"Hey, if we make a goal today, can we get a hug from Gohan?" Koi asked cheerfully. The other girls nodded rapidly.

"How about if you make a goal, I'll let you live. Fair enough?" Videl asked just as brightly.

"Jeez, no need to get so uptight, Upperclassman," Nahoko put her hands on her hips. "Are we going to do this or what?"

Videl's face turned red. "I'm not here for my health! You little spoiled..." Videl caught a glimpse of Vegeta smirking at her through his ramen. What would Vegeta do at a time like this? Videl blew her whistle again. "For that little comment you just earned your team an extra half an hour of practice. Any more comments and I'll tack two more hours on. Now let's go! Grab a ball each."

"Videl runs a tight ship," Chi-Chi whispered.

"You know, if I didn't like her so much, I would hate her," Bulma commented as Vegeta got up to watch the team run drills. "Our sons adore her," Bulma gestured towards Gohan, Goten, and Trunks who were on the sidelines, "Our husbands are mesmerized by her," she gestured towards Goku and Vegeta who were watching with amazement, "She has a tiny figure. She can fight. She sat in your kitchen and made cookies all for our families. Oh, to be young again," Bulma sighed.

"Go!" Videl commanded. The girls ran in place for a few seconds, stopped, picked up the ball and dropped it again. "Keep going! You're doing great! Come on, the faster you run, the faster you can go to the mall!"

"This is amazing," Gohan commented to Goku and Vegeta. "Videl is doing wonders."

"They still don't respect her," Vegeta pointed out. "They don't fear her enough."

"Videl," Koi whined, not even bothering calling her Upperclassman, "I'm tired and I want to go on my date!"

Videl stopped and looked right at the panting girls. "You're right. But let me tell you one thing Koi, boys aren't even worth a fraction of your time."

Gohan blinked.

"What happens when your pathetic boyfriends dump you for someone prettier, thinner and, dare I even say it, _smarter_?" Videl started to raise her voice slightly. "What will you do then?. Don't come crying to me when you want to work hard to build good qualities for yourself, because it will be too late. You've already based your worthless, shallow existence are boys. So go, go shopping, and waste time and money. I'm not going to waste any more time with _you_," Videl turned around and started to walk away.

The girls looked each other. "Upperclassman! We really want to work," Emiko said. "We want your help, please," she bowed to Videl. "We're very sorry."

"Do you all feel this way?" Videl cocked her eyebrow.

The girls nodded, bowing in unison.

Videl smiled brightly. "Alright then!"

Gohan turned to his father. "What just happened here?"

"She just scared the SHIT out of them," Vegeta looked impressed.

Goku looked worried. "I just hope she doesn't mean that! What would you do, Gohan?"

Gohan's reply was interrupted by that damned whistle. He cringed. He hoped her usage of the small, metal object would be sporadic. "Alright, ladies! I'm going to give you a number. Try to remember it okay? We'll play a little game. I'm going to block the goal, and whoever gets the most in will... get a prize or something."

"Can we hug Gohan?" Nahoko asked hopefully.

"You won't be able to hug him if your arms are broken, Egami."

The game went on and Vegeta had a disgusted look on his face. "Those fools couldn't get one by her! I've seen people with _no legs_ play better than those girls!" Vegeta roared.

The girls stopped to stare at him. Their eyes filled with tears.

"There's no need to be so cruel," Koi sobbed.

"We're trying our hardest," Emiko sniffed.

Videl waved her arms. "GIRLS! There is NO CRYING IN SOCCER! Just ignore him!" Videl sighed. "Take ten."

"Nice going," Gohan said tossing her a water bottle. "You're really helping them. That little speech really got them going. But you don't really believe... do you?"

Videl took a swig of water. "You'll just have to find that out for yourself won't you? By the way, Friday night, eight, don't be late picking me up."

"Where are we going?"

"A movie," she said lightly. "That is, unless you want to go somewhere more... private."

"Ghk! Aha..." Gohan was at a loss for words.

"What's your name cutie?" Emiko asked Goten, swooning over him.

"I'm Goten," he replied shyly.

"What about you sweetie?" Koi asked Trunks.

"My name's Trunks," he said, arrogantly sticking his chin in the air.

"Aww," Nahoko squealed. "You guys are too adorable!"

"You're pretty too, but I'm afraid I'm taken," Goten said seriously as soon as Gohan and Videl walked up. "Videl's my girlfriend!"

"Awww!"

"Dummy," Trunks whispered. "You never tell a woman you're involved. Haven't you learned anything from my father?"

Bulma glared at her husband. "Vegeta..."

"Gohan," Emiko latched herself onto his arm. "How about you take me on a date later?".

Gohan laughed nervously. "Ah... erm... I'm flattered."

Videl took her water bottle and poured it over Gohan's head. "I think you need to cool down," she grabbed a towel and went to sit by Goku and Vegeta. "Girls, I think practice is over."

"Videl!" Gohan called after her.

"What an idiot," Vegeta rolled his eyes.

A cell phone rang, and almost every person in the area reached for his or her portable phones. Videl smiled when she realized that it was her. "Hello, Videl here. Miya, is there something wrong? What about my father?" she listened intently. "You're kidding... AHHHH!" she jumped up, bouncing all over the place. "You have just made me the happiest girl in the world! Wait... did you say he was leaving THIS week? Doesn't he know that on Thursday it's... yes, I understand. Yes, I'm coming home right now." Videl turned her phone off. "Selfish bastard," she muttered. She felt the tears well up in her eyes.

"Videl?" Goku asked gently. "Are you alright?"

"I have to go now, I'll see you." Videl turned, intent on making her way out of the park as quickly as possible.

"Videl!" Gohan ran to catch up with her. "Are you mad?"

"Shut up, Gohan! Just shut up, I don't have time for this," Videl blinked back the tears.

"You're crying," he said.

"Thanks for that bulletin from the Department of the Painfully Obvious," she said before speeding out.

"Videl..."

* * *

"Are you just going to run away from all your problems all the time?! What the hell kind of father are you?" Videl stomped across the carpet, angrily following her father to the front door. Damned if she was going to let him leave without her pointing out his obvious shortcomings.

Not that it would matter.

"Videl," Hercule started. "How dare you talk to your father like that? You're lucky that I'm the nicest guy around and I will ignore that comment."

"Oh, like you ignore me all the time? I'm your _daughter_ for God's sake and you don't know a damn thing about me!" Videl murmured, racing up the stairs. The door to her room slammed loudly, making both Satan and the housekeeper blink.

"Videl!" Her father called once he'd recovered. _I just can't be here now_. "I'm leaving!"

Miya shook her head sadly. "Have a good trip sir." She walked off to the kitchen looking forlorn.

"I'm sorry," he whispered under his breath, but shut the door behind him anyway.

Videl watched out the window as her father got into his limousine. Why did he always do this to her? Why did he always do this to her, leaving her to pick up the pieces to their broken lives all alone? What was the point of even trying anymore?

Before she knew it, the setting sun painted the sky. She grabbed her jacket and flew out her window landing softly on the ground. She didn't know where she was going or what she was running from, but she needed an escape. She needed to take a break from responsibilities, from hurt, from herself.

Especially from herself.

She walked for what seemed like hours as the night came at full force. She shivered and swore as she felt herself tearing up again. She felt immense energy as she neared a large house. She looked up blinking rapidly. Capsule Corp. Oh goody.

She walked up to the door, hesitating before she knocked slowly.

"What?" Vegeta growled as he appeared wearing only his spandex shorts.

"I... came to see Bulma... if she's not busy." Jeez, it was like minus twenty degrees outside. Winter was nearing its end, but still. Videl wondered if spandex was that great of an insulator.

"Well just don't stand there like a moron," Vegeta said, quickly noting her strange behavior. The Videl he knew (and sometimes, but only SOMETIMES, begrudgingly respected) would have had a quip about the spandex for sure. Videl seemed usually subdued, saddened and depressed. It was a bit unnerving for even the Saiyan Prince.

"Vegeta, it's cold out there. Put some clothes- Videl?" Bulma appeared, holding Trunks' hand. "Are you alright?"

Videl looked down. "I came to talk..."

Bulma rushed up to the girl. "Let's go into my room. We can talk privately there. Let me take your coat," Bulma offered, trying to bring any spark of hope to the girls lifeless blue eyes.

"Thank you."

"Boy, let's go," Vegeta commanded. He stole a glance at the pale girl who stared back at him without the usual fire in her gaze. It didn't take a genius to figure out something had happened to her. It was better to let the woman deal with it.

"Okay Dad!" Trunks looked pensive. "I hope you feel better Videl."

Videl stared off into space, wrapping her arms around herself. She held her head as she felt a wave of dizziness pass over her. Her legs gave out from under her as collapsed onto her knees on the carpeted floor.

"Videl!" Trunks picked her up. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yea. Sorry about that Trunks."

"What's the matter? Let's get you to my room. Do you feel nauseous?" Bulma asked putting her hand on Videl's forehead. As if to answer her question, Videl ran to the bathroom as fast as she could.

"Didn't you tell me you got sick like that once?" Vegeta asked curiously.

"I was pregnant then you DIMWIT!"

Vegeta raised an eyebrow.

"Videl's pregnant?" Trunks asked innocently.

"I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Videl cried from the bathroom.

"Who's pregnant?" Goten asked as he and Gohan entered. "Are you having a baby, Bulma?"

"No, Videl's pregnant," Trunks said nonchalantly.

"WHAT?!" Gohan's eyebrow twitched.

"FOR THE LAST TIME TRUNKS! I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Videl wiped her mouth with a tissue. "It's probably food poisoning or something. Vegeta must be behind this one."

"Curses, foiled again," Vegeta smirked. "What are you two doing in my house?"

"I'm sleeping over!" Goten said happily. "Um... we better go, Trunks. Before we have a story told to us!" The two boys ran towards Trunks' room in hope of falling asleep before Vegeta got there.

Bulma looked at her husband. "Why wouldn't they _want _a story told to them, _Vegeta_?" she asked calmly.

Vegeta shrugged. "How the hell would I know?"

"Maybe it's because they're afraid a blue-haired monster is going to attack them in their sleep!" Videl offered from the bathroom.

Bulma closed her eyes and counted to ten. "I'm not going to ask. I'm going to check on Videl. Make no mistake Vegeta, we _will _discuss this in the morning. You can count on that."

"I hate you," he hissed at the bathroom door.

The sound of retching was his only reply.

"That can't be good," Gohan swallowed loudly.

"Tell me boy," Vegeta implored. "_Is _she pregnant?"

"I didn't do it!" Gohan gulped. "Wait, that didn't sound right."

"I didn't think so. _Virgins_."

"You were a virgin until you were TWENTY-SEVEN Vegeta, so SHUT UP!" Bulma called from the bathroom.

Vegeta growled. "So you think!"

"Oh, believe me hot shot, I KNOW!"

"Okay, I think that's enough screaming! My head is splitting," Videl moaned pathetically, rinsing her mouth out several times with the mouthwash Bulma handed to her.

"Maybe you're getting sick," Bulma murmured. "Do you need to see a doctor?"

"No," Videl stood up. "I feel better now thank you. I really need to tal-"

"Oh no! I'm late for my meeting!" Bulma scrambled to get up. "Can we talk later? Stick around for an hour, I promise we'll talk all you want then."

Videl massaged her temples. "Okay. But where-"

"Okay, see you soon!" Bulma yelled rushing out, slamming the door behind her.

"... do you want me to wait?" Videl finished. "Oh well, guess I could just wander around aimlessly until I find Goten and Trunks or something."

"Feeling better?" Gohan asked as she stepped out of the bathroom. "You sounded pretty sick."

"I'm better now. But now I have to sit and wait for Bulma..."

Gohan glanced at the clock above them. "I have to get home. Are you sure you don't want to come and talk to my Mom?"

"I uh... better wait for Bulma. She'll get worried if I... leave," Videl said weakly. _Besides_, she thought to herself, _One word out of my mouth and Chi-Chi will be planning my wedding_.

"Right. Well see you tomorrow!" Gohan waved as he walked out the door.

Videl walked around the huge mansion for a while before coming to the conclusion she was lost. She fumbled around with some of her capsules looking for a compass of some sort but only come up with a video camera, a spatula and a large jar of peanut butter. What the – why did she even have a spatula!? She was about to turn around and try to retrace her steps when she heard soft purring sounds coming from an opened door in the large hallway. Hm. Maybe she should investigate? She turned on her camera and crept quietly by the large door. She almost dropped her peanut butter when she peeked inside.

There was Vegeta, Prince of the noble Saiyan race, arrogant warrior and all around bad guy, stroking Bulma's black cat! Videl pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Wasn't this the cat that Vegeta liked to take his anger out on? Didn't Vegeta _like _to eat domestic pets for _fun_?

She stuck her camera a little into the doorway to get a better look. She grinned as she pressed the zoom button.

"That's a good cat," Vegeta stroked the cat as it purred happily.

Videl briefly wondered if she was in the twilight zone.

"I can't stand you," Vegeta murmured as he continued to pet its soft fur. "But since the woman would be angry if I ate you or blew you up and I really don't want to listen to her loud mouth, I'll let you live."

The cat kept purring. "This will be our little secret, alright fluffball?"

"You can count on me, Vegeta," Videl said as she stepped into the room, smirking in a Vegeta-like fashion.

"SHIT!" Vegeta stood up in surprise, throwing the screeching cat in the air in the process. He glanced at the video camera. "I want that. Now. I will take it by force if necessary."

Videl sighed dramatically. "What _would _Goku, Goten and Gohan say if you beat up a poor helpless girl? Goten would hate to see his favorite babysitter broken and Gohan would hate to have one less friend, especially one who could cook. Goku would be _very _angry if his 'future daughter-in-law' was blown to pieces."

Damn this girl. Damn this girl to _hell_. She had him exactly where she wanted him. He could tell this wasn't going to come cheap.

"What do you want? You can't show anyone that tape. It will ruin my reputation," Vegeta growled. When had he gotten to the point where he couldn't outsmart a puny little earth girl?

"Let's just say you owe me one, Prince," Videl happily skipped down the hall.

Vegeta stared in shock. What the hell had just happened?

Her plan was so cunning, so smooth, so... like him! He shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. She would have made one hell of a Saiyan.

* * *

"So then he just left!" Videl cried to Bulma, who was trying to figure out if sour cream and sugar would help her soup taste better. "Can't be care about me? Just a little? Can't he stop thinking about himself and think about the person he brought into this world?"

Videl sighed wistfully. "My father doesn't even bother with me. I think I was a bit of a disappointment to him. I mean, I can't help the person that I am. I can't help questioning his authority, I can't help doing a lot of things!" She sighed again. "Am I that bad of a person Bulma? Am I so terrible that not even my own father can stand me?"

"Videl, don't ever think that for a second," Bulma said sitting next to her. "Your father cares for you in his own way. He's always trying to protect you from Gohan and other boys right?"

Videl laughed lightly. "I think I may need to protect him from Gohan." Videl glanced at the boiling soup. "Bulma? I don't mean to sound rude but... is the soup supposed to be green?"

Bulma groaned and starting banging her head against the table. "I'm smart and beautiful, but my cooking skills are..."

Videl put her hand up her chin, looking thoughtful. "We can fix this, no problem! We'll have to start over, of course. Let's see, we should probably make some sort of noodle dish because you seem to have a lot of noodles and I know how much Vegeta and Trunks like to eat. We can still make soup if... hm... First we must destroy this," Videl said throwing the toxic liquid down the sink. "Let's do this together, okay?" Videl looked hopefully at Bulma.

Bulma grinned back at her. "Sure! We'll have this done in no time!"

"What are they doing in there?" Goten whispered to his best friend as they neared the kitchen.

"I think Videl is trying to help my Mom cook," Trunks whispered back.

"Oh thank goodness," Goten puffed a sigh of relief. "I thought I was going to die of hunger."

"You might die of something anyway if you don't build up an immunity to that woman's cooking," Vegeta commented.

"No Bulma, we don't put sour cream in tomato sauce," Videl politely reminded her. "And I don't think applesauce is what we need for more texture."

"I think I see what you mean."

Sometime later the two women emerged from the kitchen, serving plates in hand. "Dinner's ready!" Bulma called as Videl went to set the plates. "Stay for dinner Videl, since you prepared almost all of it."

"No thanks, Bulma," Videl smiled. That little cooking exercise had somehow put her in much better spirits. "I should get going anyway. Miya will be worried. Good night, everyone!"

The Saiyans barely looked up from their dinner. "Bye!" they said in unison, eating their fifth portion.

"It still amazes me how much they can eat," Videl shook her head, picking up her jacket as Bulma walked her out. "Good night Bulma and… thank you."

"Come back anytime," Bulma smiled.

"Come live here and cook for us!" Trunks called from the kitchen.

Videl stepped out of the large house and started on her way home, her mood dampening. She would give anything to have a family like that; one with both parents accounted and present for more than half of the time and maybe a couple of little siblings to mess around with. Maybe she could do without Vegeta as a father, but he was a hundred times the father her own was. Speaking of Vegeta… she gazed at the small video camera in her right pocket and found herself smiling.

Maybe life wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

_Edited 05.03.13_


	4. Misadventures in Dating

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
**_Chapter 3: Gohan's Misadventures in Dating_

* * *

Gohan was trying to concentrate on studying. Really, he was. The only problem was that Gohan was lying on his bed next to the girl of his dreams while doing so, so _close_ that their feet were almost touching. Sufficed to say that this did not provide Gohan with a suitable learning environment. Studying verbs and conjugations in a foreign language that he'd mastered years ago paled greatly in comparison to studying the fascinating subject right next to him. He was struck by the way she sometimes hummed to herself when she was stuck on a problem or the way she flicked her impossibly shiny ebony colored hair out of her beautiful sapphire-blue eyes. Oh, and when she chewed on the end of her pen...

Videl glanced over at Gohan. He was staring into space with somewhat of a glazed over expression. He was probably bored; he'd been fluent in English - not to mention French, Spanish, Arabic and Pig Latin - since he was six. She did worry a little, though, when she saw a bit of drool on the side of his mouth.

Maybe there really _was _a thin line between genius and insanity. Videl paused. She was afraid Gohan had crossed it.

She wondered if she should tap him, but he looked beyond blissful in his little daydream, his dark eyes half lidded and a small smile on his lips. She rolled her eyes. He was probably dreaming about food again. She went back to her studying, deciding it was better to let him be. For now.

Gohan snapped out of his trance as he heard Videl singing softly, almost to herself. He looked thoroughly confused. He hadn't known she had such a beautiful voice. He came to a realization that he really didn't know a lot about her even though they had been friends for a while. He resolved to ask her later. Right now he wanted to hear more of her singing.

Chi-Chi nudged Bulma from her hiding place outside of Gohan's window. "Did you hear that? My daughter-in-law can sing!"

"Don't rub it in."

"Videl," Gohan said without even realizing it.

"Yes?" she asked, not looking up from her homework.

"You have a pretty voice," he said, his dreamy expression returning.

She closed her book with a snap, surprising Bulma, Goku, and Chi-Chi. The older women pressed themselves closer to the window to get a better view, eliciting a laugh from the Saiyan. "Why do you say that?" Videl demanded.

"You were just singing. It was nice," he said softly.

Videl blushed. "I don't think I sound that great," she said opening her book again, trying to avoid his intent stare. "Hey, do you think you can help me with these adjectives, Gohan?"

"Don't sell yourself short," Gohan said, moving to sit next to her, gently removing the book from her lap. "I think that there are a lot of great things about you."

"Ohhh!" Chi-Chi squealed. "I think they're gonna KISS!"

"SHHH!" Bulma and Goku shushed her.

"Y-you think so?" Videl asked breathlessly.

Gohan smoothed her short hair away from her face. "I think you're smart, and strong... and beautiful," he whispered.

"Smooth," Goku commented, putting his hands on his wife's shoulders. "But don't you think we should give our son a bit of privacy?"

"Would you be QUIET, Goku?!" Bulma screeched, watching the scene before her with a huge grin on her face. "You don't know the first thing about romance and relationships."

"He does too!"

"Sure. This coming from the wife of the man who thought marriage was a food."

Meanwhile, Videl was so red she was _sure_ a tomato would be jealous. Was this really her Gohan; you know, dear reader, the one that could obliterate a planet with a flick of the wrist and translate ancient hieroglyphics for fun but couldn't scrap up enough to buy a CLUE most of the time? He leaned in and when she felt his breath on hers she decided she didn't _care_. This was the first time in ages they'd actually spent any time alone and, oh my what nice lips you have, Gohan -

- the better to kiss you with, Videl my dear -

"Chi," Goku lamented, laying one hand lazily on the window, "I really think we should leave Videl and Gohan al -"

!CRASH!

Videl and Gohan jumped a foot apart. "I didn't do anything!" he screamed, face faulting as his father (and mother and Bulma) came crashing through his window, landing in a pile on his floor.

" - one," his father finished. Goku stood up and, with one hand behind his neck, laughed nervously. "I guess I don't know my own strength sometimes."

"ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE?!" In general, Chi-Chi had tried to raise Gohan to be a very nice boy, to the utter dismay of Vegeta, but really, _everyone_ has their limits. "DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN HOVER OUTSIDE OF A SECOND FLOOR WINDOW SPYING ON YOUR SON?! Have you no DECENCY? NO SHAME?!"

"Now, now, Gohan," Goku ducked the flying textbook and pencil, but the picture frame hit him squarely in the face. "Your mother and I only want what's best for you -"

Videl cowered as Gohan's aura turned a dangerous dark blue. She crept towards the door. "What would be best, Father, would be for you to leave. Now. Not you," he grabbed Videl's arm roughly, pulling her back into the room. "We have a test tomorrow. Would you please leave us alone?"

"You know, Kakkarot, I think I know why that half-breed son of yours is such a fool," a low voice drawled from the direction of the window. Five heads snapped in the direction of the Saiyan Prince. "Sexual frustration."

Gohan built a dangerous ki blast in the palms of his hands and began to lift them slowly over his head. He turned quickly towards Vegeta. "GO AWAY."

"You don't have the balls to - "

"!MASENKO!"

"Gohan! Don't!" Videl screeched, clutching her hand to her heart, afraid it would stop. "Stop it! Don't do this! PLEASE!"

It took all of Gohan's control to stop himself from blowing up Vegeta and the small house. He glanced at Videl who was pressed up against the wall. She absently rubbed the arm Gohan had used to pull her back into the room minutes before.

Gohan's stomach lurched at the realization that she was _afraid_ of him. Just a few seconds ago her eyes were shining with affection right before their first kiss and now... now she looked like a wounded animal that saw its hungry predator.

"I s-should g-go," she stuttered collecting her books and notes.

"Videl," Gohan took a step towards her.

She took a step back from him, wincing noticeably. "See you." She slammed the door behind her, racing to get out of the house. She shakily let out the breath she had been holding. She stole one last glance at the house before taking out her jetcopter capsule and flying home.

"Hanging around them is bad for my health," Videl concluded, trying to handle the controls with her shaking hands. "I can't believe Gohan just lost it like that. I've never seen him so angry. I mean sure, I would be angry if my family was as involved in my life as his family is in his, but... what if he really did blow the house up? But… no, I don't think he'd ever do that. He wouldn't ever hurt anyone he really cared about." She paused. "Ugh, he probably thinks I hate him now! No wonder he was so anxious about telling me about his powers. I'll have to apologize tomorrow."

Too bad Videl didn't realize how difficult that would be.

* * *

Erasa wasn't the smartest girl at Orange Star High School, but she had a sneaking suspicion that something was going on between Gohan and Videl. Not the "They're having a passionate affair" kind of thing but a "Something really bad must have happened" kind of thing. All in all it was a bit unnerving.

Instead of Videl ignoring Gohan like she usually tried to do when she was angry, he seemed to be ignoring her. Whenever she would come by, he would make some excuse to get up and leave. Just what was going on between her two friends? And why didn't anyone tell her about it?

Everyone in her English class was talking excitedly about something or other as they waited for their teacher to arrive. Erasa glanced between Videl, who looked like she was falling asleep at her desk, and Gohan, who kept staring at Videl, then looking away guiltily as soon her gaze would fall to him.

"Hey Videl," Sharpner whispered. "Didn't get much sleep last night?"

Videl muttered something about rabid treasure trolls, crazy alien in-laws, and the Prince of Darkness.

"Gohan? Whatever Videl did to you... I'm sure she didn't mean it," Erasa tried, looking at the demi-Saiyan.

Gohan laughed nervously. "Whatever gave you the idea she did anything to me?"

"Because you avoided her all day like the plague?"

Gohan looked away. "What are you talking about? Gosh, Erasa, you sure have an active imagination."

Erasa sighed. "It's her birthday in a few days, you know. Maybe you could try to make up with her by then?"

Before Gohan could answer, their English teacher waltzed into the room. "Hello, class. Please take out your 'Welcome to English Seven' books."

As the teacher droned on and on about past and present tenses, Videl slipped in and out of consciousness, waiting for the bell to ring. She occasionally glanced over at Gohan who seemed more of a wreck then she was. Go figure.

Videl welcomed the bell and ran to go find Gohan. She spotted him as he was about to take off.

"Gohan! Wait! Come on!" she called, running quickly, trying not to drop the box in her hands. "Just give me five minutes!"

Gohan stopped, not turning to face her.

"I'm sorry that I walked out. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Videl panted. "I just... you know got a little afraid."

"That's it!" Gohan exclaimed. "You were _afraid_ of me."

Videl stomped her foot in frustration. "Why am I being punished for being caught off guard? You were going to blow up YOUR HOUSE! You would be scared too!"

"You're not being punished. I'm doing you a favor. I would rather die than let anything bad happen to you," Gohan said softly, turning away from her again. "Especially if it came from my own hands. You know I'm not like other guys. Normal guys."

"I know you're not like other guys. That's why I like you," she said, putting her arms around him from behind. "I'm willing to put up with your family, your friends, even that jackass Vegeta sometimes... I wouldn't do it for anyone else," she said honestly. "I'm not afraid of you. I think you're the sweetest, gentlest person I've ever met. I'm in awe of you."

He turned around to envelope her in a hug. "I don't want to hurt you," he murmured into her hair.

She pulled away from him and shrugged, smiling coyly. "If you think you can."

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the box in her hand.

"A peace offering. Chocolate cake," she sang, pulling it out of his reach.

"Cake!"

"You can have it if you take me out tonight."

"It's a school night!" Gohan gasped.

"Oh come on. I'll have you home by eleven." Videl teased. "Besides, all the good movies are playing tonight. Please?"

Gohan smiled. "We're supposed to go to the movies on Friday."

"I'm sure we can find other things to do on Friday night, don't you think?"

Gohan blinked at her. "Like what?"

Videl groaned. _Can't Get a Clue Gohan_ was back for good. "Just take the cake and walk me home."

"… yes, ma'am."

* * *

"Think you got enough snacks?" asked Videl. Gohan was carrying – precariously! - assorted chocolate, popcorn and soda as he made his way to where she was sitting. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to run out."

"Iff didn'tff thinkff offf thatff," Gohan murmured with a mouth full of popcorn.

"Wilbur to Charlotte, Wilbur to Charlotte. Abbot and Costello have been spotted," a voice whispered. "Move in!"

Six dark figures moved a few rows behind Videl and Gohan, trying to blend in.

"Ouch! You stepped on my foot, you moron!"

"Mind where you stomp your behemoth foot then, you hideous shrew."

"Wow, this artificial butter is great!"

"Jet Li is soooo cool! I'm glad we got to come. Hey isn't that Videl and Gohan?"

"Are they kissing yet?"

"Eew!"

"SHHH!"

Gohan shifted his empty food cartons onto the next seat, leaning a bit closer to Videl. He pretended to yawn, and ever so casually...

"Gohan? Are you trying to put your arm around me?"

"Eep! Uh... heh. W-well..."

Videl put her head on his shoulder. An opening! He slung his arm around her _smoothly_.

(_Right_.)

"Hey, where did Goku go?" Bulma asked, looking around the dark theater.

"I told him to try and get a closer look..."

* * *

Meanwhile...

"I'm really sorry about this," Goku apologized, stuffing the usher into the small locker. "See you in a few hours!" He quickly changed into the usher's outfit, complete with a cute hat and flashlight. "Now I can get closer and look inconspicuous!"

* * *

"Excuse me," a young man tapped Vegeta on the shoulder. "Can you take your hat off? I can't see."

"That's my _hair _you decrepit little clown," Vegeta growled.

"Twenty zeni that guy ends up in a coma," Trunks whispered to Goten.

"Kids these days," the man sighed. "Always with these weird hair styles. I'm sure he'll grow out of it when he finishes going through puberty."

"!Final-"

"VEGETA!" Bulma yanked Vegeta by the collar. "No blowing up the theater!"

"Gohan," Videl whispered. "Did you just-"

"Hm?" Gohan asked turning his head towards her.

Videl looked back as the crazed five ducked under the seats. "Nevermind... I just... nothing."

Gohan cocked his head. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, sorry about that." _I know I heard Vegeta! I just know it!_

Trunks sighed. The movie was cool, but sitting in the same place for more than ten minutes was hard enough for a normal ten-year-old, let alone a hyperactive Saiyan practically drunk on sugar. "Hey Goten, let's go to the projection room."

Goten's eyes shined. "'Kay!"

If Goku noticed Trunks and Goten scampering by him, he gave no indication. He was immersed in _being _the usher. _Becoming_ the usher. He couldn't be faulted for not noticing the aura of Mischief and Mayhem. "Here are your seats," Goku pointed his flashlight at two empty seats for some latecomers. "Enjoy the show!"

Misgiving began to brew within Vegeta, who _did_ notice the absence of the smallest Saiyans. "Bulma, where are the brats?"

His wife rolled her eyes. "I think they've gotten closer! And would you shut up? Videl is talking! She's probably saying something ridiculously cute and we're missing it because you can't keep your big mouth shut!"

Vegeta seethed. "Woman…"

"I'm glad you came with me, Gohan," Videl looked up at him. "It's nice being here without-"

Suddenly, Jet Li's handsome face disappeared from the screen and the stage lights of the theater flickered. There was a horrible, screeching sound as the movie came to a halt. Mischief and Mayhem would not be denied, not on this day.

"Trunks! Why did you hit the projection guy!?" Goten demanded. The short teenager had slumped to the floor, blissfully unconscious after an elbow to the face. Goten kneeled to check a pulse; thank god the guy still had one.

Trunks had the decency to look at least a little embarrassed. "I didn't mean to... "

Goten's eyes flashed with anger as he stood up straight. "Just like the time you _broke _Mister Piccolo!"

"That really _was_ an accident!"

"You accidentally punched the _statue_?"

"Look, Goten, we can argue about that later." Goten had a habit of dragging up old arguments; Trunks supposed it would only get worse as they got older. After all, he'd have more indiscretions to draw upon. "We've got a bigger problem. The film was ruined."

"Our moms are going to _kill us_!"

Trunks mulled over their predicament. "I know! _We _can be the movie!"

"Wha?"

"We'll make shadow puppets and stuff! And we'll make the sound effects. Like this," Trunks demonstrated, turning on the microphone in the small booth. "I am Prince Vegeta. Woman, make me food, fix the GR room."

"Trunks, I don't know…" Goten was appropriately apprehensive about this plan.

"Prince Vegeta? Isn't he a rap artist?" This question was posed by the same guy who had already placed himself on Vegeta's list by questioning his hair and height.

"No, he's that guy on the oatmeal box!" his date replied.

"I thought he was the little leprechaun on the Lucky Charms box," Bulma said loudly.

"_WOMAN_!"

Three rows ahead, Gohan and Videl finally figured out that they weren't alone. "Oh no," Gohan groaned. "Why? WHY ME?!"

"I knew I heard that pernicious prince!" As annoyed as she was that she couldn't even see a movie in peace, she was thankful that she wasn't going insane. "Trunks is really gonna get it when Vegeta gets a hold of him."

"Bunnies are for eating boy, not for playing," Trunks mimicked his father's deep voice. "If it breathes, it's edible to a Saiyan!"

"THATS IT!" Vegeta tore out of his seat.

"Sir in the spandex, no running up the aisles!" Goku called cheerfully.

"Kakkarot, if you don't get out of the way, I'm going to Final Flash your ass out of this theater so fast..."

"Kakkarot, I'm gonna Final Flash your ass," Trunks mimicked.

"I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, YOU PURPLE HAIRED BRAT, AND I CAN REMOVE YOU FROM IT JUST AS QUICKLY!" Vegeta roared furiously.

Bulma leaned over to Chi-Chi. "And believe me, it was _quick." _

"SHUT UP!" Vegeta bellowed.

"Trunks," Goten warned, "your father is on his way up here. He's wearing his murder face. You should probably stop."

"Nah." Trunks moved on to his second favorite victim instead. "Oh Videl!" Trunks said in a deep 'Gohan' voice. "I love you! I want to touch you and kiss you and-"

"Forget Vegeta!" Gohan screamed, climbing out of his seat. "_I'M_ gonna kill him!"

"Oh, Gohan! You're sooooo strong! I just want to... see you with no clothes on!" Trunks squeaked.

Videl turned a luminescent red. "When I get my hands on that brat, he is _dead._"

"I didn't know this was one of those IMAX shows," one person whispered excitedly. "This is AWESOME!"

"Out of my way Kakkarot!" Vegeta gathered his energy and pushed Goku aside. He flew into the air, ablaze in gold.

"I can't let you hurt these innocent people," Goku said in his mature superhero voice. He quickly mirrored Vegeta, turning Super Saiyan.

Something in Gohan snapped. Why couldn't he have a normal family?! Why couldn't he have a normal date at a normal movie _doing_ nice normal teenage things!? "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

Videl shielded her eyes as Gohan started to glow a bright gold. "Gohan..."

Bulma turned lazily to Chi-Chi. "Think we should stop them?"

"We should."

Videl ran over to the women. "Fix this!" she hissed.

"What a coincidence Videl," Bulma faked astonishment. "We didn't know you would be here!"

"Imagine that," Chi-Chi added dryly.

A large explosion rocked the theater. When the dust cleared, sunshine filtered through it. Videl turned around quickly to see that the back half of the movie theater was completely blown away. In the distance, she could make out Vegeta chasing after Trunks, Goku chasing after Vegeta, Goten chasing after his father, and Gohan speeding menacingly toward the melee.

"WAAAAAH! Don't kill me DADDY!"

"When I'm through with you, brat, you'll wish I HAD killed you! We'll start with the trust fund!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Vegeta! I've never been fired in my life!"

"That's because you've never had a job, Daddy. Wait, why am I getting involved? Trunks! This is all your fault! _Again_! Just like that time at the world tournament…!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! I LIKE VIDEL A LOT AND YOU GUYS KEEP SCREWING UP MY CHANCES WITH HER! YOU SAY YOU WANT GRANDCHILDREN BUT HOW THAT HAPPEN IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE US ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES!?"

!Crash! !Boom! !Explosions! !Fancy Special Effects!

"Was that supposed to happen?" One woman whispered, wiping the dried paint from her face.

"Blonds," another man commented, rolling his eyes.

Videl ran towards the fourth explosion. She gasped as she saw the five Saiyans laying on the grass, panting. She rushed to Gohan's side. "Are you alright?"

Gohan winced as he sat up. "Remind me never to... what was I saying again?"

She glanced at him warily. "You have a cut on your forehead," she muttered, taking a tissue out of her pocket and dabbing his cut. "Do you feel dizzy?"

"Ouch."

"Don't be a baby."

"What about me?" Trunks moaned. "Doesn't anyone care about me?"

"You young man," Bulma said sternly, taking her son into her arms. "How many times do I have to tell you? When you make fun of your father, make sure there are no innocent people around that might get hurt!"

"Sorry, Mom."

A low growl came from Vegeta's direction. "Woman, you better shut your mouth before I shut it for - huh?"

Across from him, Videl was hunched over on the ground, her hands over her face and shoulders shaking silently. Gohan froze in horror. Was this it? Had Videl reached her breaking point? Had his family and friends actually made the proud girl _cry_?

"Videl?"

Videl lifted her head and Gohan visibly relaxed as he realized her eyes were dancing with mirth instead of unshed tears. "Want to share the joke with the rest of us, Videl?"

"I should have seen this a mile away," she said, gasping for breath.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. The girl had finally lost it. He had given her at least another two weeks before the loudmouthed harpy got to her.

"I mean, why wouldn't your family follow us to the movies and why wouldn't your dad pretend to be an usher and why wouldn't Vegeta want to start a fight with a random wealking and why doesn't this surprise me anymore?"

"I think we're getting predictable," Bulma announced.

Videl wiped her tears off her red face and stood up, brushing herself off. "As much fun as this has been, I have to get home. Gohan, walk with me to a more open place so I can get out my copter, okay?"

Gohan quickly picked himself off the floor. "Don't even _think_ of following me," he hissed at his family members.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" replied Goku.

"Your birthday's on Thursday right?" Gohan asked when they were out of earshot. He leaned against the jetcopter languidly in an attempt to cover up his anxiety. "Let me make this up to you and I'll take you out. That is, if you still want to go out with me. And if you're not busy. I'm sure you are though, maybe with Erasa or something. I just thought-"

"Okay. I'd like that," Videl smiled up at him.

Gohan's powerful brain quickly turned to mush at the sight of this girl smiling. "R-really?"

"Yes," she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight."

He watched as she sped away in her jetcopter. He watched for a long, long time, hand on his cheek until Goten flew up in front of him.

"Gohan? Earth to Gohan." His brother waved a hand in his face. No response. "Are you alive?"

"All's well that ends well I suppose," Bulma sighed, eyeing the comatose teenager. She paused, then turned her attention toward his father. "I just have one lingering question: Goku, where _did _you get that outfit?"

"Oh no!" Goku sped towards the obliterated movie theater, picturing the poor usher still stuffed in a supply closet. "I knew I forgot something!"

* * *

_Edited 05.05.13_


	5. Misadventures in Filmmaking

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**  
_Chapter 4: Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in Filmmaking_

* * *

Videl flew as quickly as she could, willing herself not to look at her watch every thirty seconds. She _knew_ that she was over an hour late to hang out with Gohan (translation: Gohan, his family and friends) and she also knew that Chi-Chi would be frantic when she arrived. Was it her fault that took a nap and slammed her phone against the wall when the alarm sounded? (Okay, maybe the latter was her fault, so sue her.) She _had_ slept pretty heavily. Come to think of it, she'd been sleeping a lot lately. Bulma had suggested she see a doctor; she was still thinking about it.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she neared the small house. Before she could even knock once on the door, it flew open to reveal just about everyone Gohan knew waiting in the living room. Hah, even the Prince Of All Four Saiyans had graced the group with his presence. Oh, what a wonderful day _this_ was going to be.

"Videl!" Goku shouted, running over to lift her into a bear hug. "We were so worried about you. I was just about to go over to see if you were okay because Gohan said your line was busy and you're never late!"

"Go... ku... I... sorry... can't... breathe..." Videl gasped, as she heard her joints unhinge, then hinge back again.

"Oopsies!" Goku said sheepishly, putting her down. "Guess I still don't know my own strength."

Videl put her hand over her throbbing heart, taking deep breaths. Krillin patted her back lightly. Chi-Chi turned to her husband. "Be more careful, Goku!"

"Sorry Chi, she's just so small and light, I kind of didn't realize," Goku rubbed the back of his head.

"Why _were _you so late, Videl?" Gohan asked anxiously.

"I overslept. I'm sorry if I worried you guys. I took the house phone off the hook and my cell phone… died… before I woke up." Videl hoped her smile was convincing; after all, it was _almost_ the truth.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. She's here, right?" Bulma's gaze drifted to the package in Videl's left hand. "What do you have there?"

"A video," she replied. Vegeta stiffened noticeably and she had to stifle a laugh. Trunks and Goten quoted the Re-Enactment of the Cell Games Starring Our Hero, Mr. Satan _relentlessly_ after they saw it. Wasn't he in for a nice evening! "It came in the mail this morning."

"Oh?" Marron tilted her small blonde head towards the box. "What movie? Is it Snow White?"

"It's the director's cut of the reenactment of the Cell Games, and we know how much you guys – especially Vegeta - _love_ that video. And supposedly there's a special preview of their next film."

"All right!" Goten and Trunks punched their small fists in the air. "We wanted to buy the video, but Dad said that if we did he'd make us suffer a most unpleasant death and _then_ he'd use the video for target practice anyway."

"He's no fun," added Goten.

"Well, erm, let's just watch, shall we?"

Everyone began to settle down in the living room. Videl grabbed the remote and sat next to Gohan on the couch. She glanced back to see that Chi-Chi, Bulma, Yamcha (who had been behaving quite nicely; all bets were off after next week's birthday milestone, though), Goku and Eighteen had pulled up chairs from the kitchen. Goten, Trunks, Krillin and Marron sat on the floor in front of the couch. Vegeta leaned against the back wall looking as bored as ever.

Videl glanced over at Gohan. He seemed to be mentally fighting with himself over something. She smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his. When she looked at him again, his cheeks were bright red and it looked like he was trying to concentrate on the screen. She grinned even wider. She picked up her water bottle and drank deeply from it.

Waves swam gallantly over the stream as the word _preview_ flashed in two inch white letters. A narrator's deep, soothing voice wafted through the speakers: "Who was it that said that the way to a superhero's heart was through his stomach? Well, Videl Satan is trying a new way... through his pants!"

Videl couldn't help it; water flew from her mouth onto the back of Goten's head. "WHAT IN THE WORLD?!"

"Videl!" Goten exclaimed, wringing out his hair.

Gohan squeezed her hand a little tighter. 'Oh Dende, you and I are going to have a _little _chat later.'

* * *

At Kami's lookout:

"Uh oh," Dende gulped. "Are guardians eligible for life insurance?"

Piccolo gave him a look.

"Oh. Hell."

* * *

"That's right folks; it's the long awaited adult movie, _the Seduction of Saiyaman_. Brought to you by Waves and Rocks."

"Oh, my..." Chi-Chi pressed her hand to her cheek.

Vegeta jumped from his spot on the wall to get a closer look at the television, his patented Full-Teeth-Evil-Smirk® plastered on his face.

"Starring Videl Satan!"

The actress who wore the terrible Videl costume wore a skimpy, low-cut white tee-shirt with short, tight biker shorts. Her breasts were nearly bigger than the mask over her head. Videl looked down at own lithe but small frame and ripped her head away from Gohan so that she could cross her arms over her chest.

"You wish you look like that, brat," Vegeta supplied, a devilish grin on his face.

"The Great Saiyaman!"

The "Great Saiyaman", complete with an almost perfect replica of Bulma's costume, did the YMCA and moves that could only be associated with corny _shoujo_ anime.

Gohan's left eyebrow twitched but he stayed silent. His expression was unreadable.

"He does a great Gohan impression!" Trunks exclaimed. "Hey, he's doing _Cardcaptor Sakura_ poses!"

"Trunks, _you_ like _shoujo_ anime?" Goten turned to his best friend with a semi-shocked expression across his small features.

The Prince's son laughed nervously. "Well, er, what I meant was..."

"Bulma Briefs and Bulma's life long partner, Vegeta!"

The group watched in amusement as a decidedly feminine figure wearing a blue spandex battle costume graced the screen. It looked eerily similar to the Saiyan armor Vegeta wore when he first landed on this wretched planet, scouter and all.

Well. The breasts were new.

"I am Princess Vegeta," she said, in a sultry, seductive manner. "Cross me... and die!"

Everyone stared, speechless. Trunks was the first to recover. "Dad? If there's anything you'd ever... what I mean if, if you need to talk..." Trunks found it painful to hold back his laughter.

"Trunks, you've got two mommies. Wow, you sure are lucky," said Goten. "You get everything! If Trunks gets two mommies I want two mommies too cuz I don't like being left out!"

Goku put his hand over his youngest child's mouth.

"What the hell _is _this goddamn trash!?" Vegeta screamed. If he was angry at being portrayed as a fan of Mr. Satan in the first movie, he was positively outraged as being portrayed as a young, short, buxom woman. He mumbled something about calling Bulma's lawyers and defamation and lawsuits and showing directors the meaning of finality in Final Flash.

Videl figured, given the circumstances, he was taking this quite well.

"But Vegeta! You're gorgeous," Krillin swooned.

Vegeta glared hard at the short man.

Krillin gulped loudly. "I'll just shut up now."

"And the greatest fighter in the universe, Goku!"

Gohan started blankly at the screen, still not talking. Videl put her hand on his leg, but if he noticed it, he didn't acknowledge it. His mouth was pressed in a thin, hard line, eyes obsidian bleakness.

"Guest starring the Mysterious Lavender Haired Boy!"

"I look HOT!" Trunks cheered. "Look Goten, I have a tattoo!"

Before Goten could present the argument, Chi-Chi answered, "Not in a million years."

The preview faded to the first scene. "Saiyaman" had emerged triumphant over the evil doers.. "Videl" had been badly injured in the battle and he had just taken her back to his "superhero love pad" complete with leopard print comforters and mirrors above the bed. Not to mention his collection of Barry White mini discs, in its entirety.

"Oh, Great Saiyaman," Faux-Videl swooned, sprawling out on his red silk sheets. Her hair, which had fallen out of its pigtails, fell around her in glassy dark waves. "Those bad men tore my clothes. What _EVER _can we do about it?"

Cheesy seventies make out music played in the background.

"I can think of one thing," Saiyaman replied, removing his green cape.

"Who has the remote?" asked Videl, starting to panic. "I want it NOW!"

Goku covered his youngest son's eyes. "Dad! Hey! Let go! I can't see! DAD!"

"You'll go blind if you watch, boy," Vegeta said, his dark eyes gleaming.

"Oh, Saiyaman, I seem to have misplaced my bra."

"We'll have to fix that won't we miss?"

"How?"

"Let's just misplace the rest of these clothes."

Krillin placed his right hand over his daughter's eyes and the left over Trunks'. "Maybe we should go in the kitchen for a little snack. Or a meal. Or six."

"I WANT THAT REMOTE THAT INSTANT YAMCHA! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT!" Videl screamed. She was about to jump over the couch to tackle Yamcha, when she was struck by a better idea. She lunged for the TV, but was caught midair by a pair of strong arms. "Huh?"

Vegeta looked down at her, grinning evilly. "Where do you think YOU'RE going? The preview isn't over yet."

"Meow."

Vegeta dropped Videl into Gohan's lap. "This ridiculousness is disgusting! It is beneath even lowly humans like you to watch such filth."

"The relationship of Saiyaman and Videl is intercepted by that mysterious lavender haired boy, who seems to want to have his turn with Videl, too," the announcer revealed.

"Sweet! Me and Videl are gonna sc- mmfmph!" Krillin put Trunks in a headlock.

"Oh, Videl, I think we can make beautiful music together," the actor playing future!Trunks revealed. "Ditch this loser and run away with me! I am sexy and mysterious!"

"Oh no, who should I choose? I'll have both!" She was plagued with indecision.

"Yamcha" suddenly entered. For reasons beyond comprehension, he had a ridiculous accent and was barely understandable. "Jou, ladies, howz about jou haff a leetle fun weeth Bulma and zee sexy Vegeta and let me vatch?"

The vein in Vegeta's forehead pulsated dangerously.

"Daddy? Can I look now?" Goten asked.

"No, son."

Videl groaned, rolling out of Gohan's lap. "Is it over yet?"

"Coming soon to video."

"That was rather..." Chi-Chi started.

"Pointless?"

"Vulgar?"

"Perverted?"

"Unreal?"

"Kick ass!"

"TRUNKS!"

"Now, for our main attraction... _How Hercule Beat Cell and Saved Earth_."

"The first half-breed of Kakkarot looks angry," Vegeta lamented, glancing towards Gohan. "Not that I care."

"Can you blame him?" Videl asked. "We had a SEX scene!"

"Let's fight, ernk," "Goku" told "Cell".

Goku laughed heartily. "I _love _this scene!"

"Ho, hum, ernk."

"Haha, I will blow up the earth, haha," "Cell" laughed.

Yamcha fast-forwarded the tape. "Yea, yea, Hercule saves us weaklings, now on to _my_ favorite part."

"Hercule is so strong," "Goku" commented.

"I wish I were-" "Vegeta" started saying in a monotone voice.

"!Gallic Gun!"

"Hit the deck!" Krillin shouted. He grabbed Marron and Videl and pulled them to the ground. Eighteen eyed Vegeta with mild amusement.

"VEGETA!" Bulma yelled from underneath the couch.

Gohan, who still hadn't said a word, flew silently out the window.

"I'll buy you a new TV, Chi," Bulma promised. "And a new wall."

"MY HOUSE!" Chi-Chi screamed.

Everyone turned to Vegeta.

He shrugged. "My hand slipped."

* * *

It's pretty safe to say that puberty went fairly well for Son Gohan. Being half-Saiyan didn't exclude him from the most embarrassment that went with some of the particular aspects of the nasty thing, but it _did_ provide for a growth spurt and energy gain that was somewhat greater than normal, and he was glad for it.

Dende, on the other hand, was most certainly not.

"Shaking like that isn't going to help anything," Piccolo commented dryly, glancing at the poor Guardian of the Earth. Not that he'd want to trade places with the young Namekian, not on his life. Piccolo loved Gohan like a son, but the _ki_ signature that was approaching the Lookout was less than friendly.

All right, it was downright Vegeta-like.

Dende wasn't scared - well, not REALLY - because in reality he knew that Gohan would never really hurt him. Dende and Gohan had been close friends since the very first time that they met, and Gohan held Dende's friendship close to his heart because the little Namekian was the first person close to Gohan's age he could really connect with.

"OH, DENDE!"

Dende threw a pathetic look at Piccolo. "Hide me!"

* * *

Videl barely managed to hold Chi-Chi back before the Saiyan's wife threw herself at Vegeta. "Chi-Chi, calm down okay?"

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" Chi-Chi's eyes blazed dangerously. "VEGETA, YOU BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN!"

Vegeta laughed scornfully. "I could kill you with my eyes closed and my arms tied behind my back, harpy."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

Videl sighed and looked around. Trunks and Goten were cowering the corner (most likely having visions of the last time Vegeta destroyed a part of Chi-Chi's house), Krillin, Eighteen, and Yamcha escaped with bad excuses (no doubt having the same visions as the boys) and Goku and Bulma were standing between Chi-Chi and Vegeta, trying to prevent World War Three. "Hey," she wondered. "Where'd Gohan go?"

* * *

"Oh, Gohan seems a bit angry, Lord Dende," Mr. Popo casually offered, eyeing the blonde teenager, ablaze in a sea of gold and stray bolts of energy.

"No, really?" Dende hissed at the man before turning his attention to Gohan. "Gohan! It's so nice to see you! What do I owe the pleasure of - "

His polite speech, barely covering up the fact that he'd love to have been hiding in a closet right that second, was cut off abruptly when he found himself lifted three feet off the ground. "Cut the crap, Dende."

Oh yeah. Gohan was definitely angry. And not in the 'I'm a seventeen-year-old boy and just realizing how shitty being a normal teenager really is' either. More in the 'I'm half-Saiyan and I'm about to go Vegeta on your ass' way. Dende was royally screwed. "Now Gohan, be reasonab - "

"Reasonable?" Gohan's turquoise eyes flashed with rage. "REASONABLE?! You want me to be REASONABLE?!"

Piccolo chose that moment to address the boy he had watched grow up into a fine - well, most of the time anyway - young man. "Gohan, put him down."

He did so, albeit begrudgingly, and frowned when Dende began to rub his. "How could you do this to me?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Gohan, this isn't my fault. It's natural order."

"NATURAL ORDER?!" Gohan exploded again, and the others unconsciously took a few steps back. "It's the NATURAL ORDER that my MOTHER and her best friend are PLANNING MY WEDDING?! That my FATHER is HELPING them? That YAMCHA keeps hitting on the GIRL that I LIKE?! That VEGETA - well, I suppose Vegeta will _always _be around to make my life a living hell but COME ON! This is RIDICULOUS!"

Dende put his arm on Gohan's shoulder in an effort to calm him down, but it seemed to only make him angrier. "Do you even KNOW what it's like to be me? No, of COURSE you don't? How COULD you? 'OH look! There's Son Gohan, the BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE OF THE GALAXY! He can't even ask a GIRL out right!' If this is natural order, you can have it!"

* * *

Vegeta blinked. "Did you feel that, Kakkarot?"

Goku was in the process of throwing his wife - how did she LEARN those words, anyway? - over his shoulder when he felt the sudden rise in ki. "Gohan?"

* * *

"I know you're angry," Dende folded his hands across his chest in an attempt to seem calm and in control, "but I really had nothing to do with any of it, Gohan. You know I only want to see you happy."

"HAPPY?! You want to see me HAPPY?! You know what would make me HAPPY?" Gohan's was teetering dangerously on the border of being angry and positively insane. "One day. Alone. With Videl. Can you do that, Dende? Could you do that for me?"

"... I guess I could, Gohan." Anything to get him out of here. "You could... take her here. And Piccolo and I will make sure no one will bother you."

Gohan sighed, his hair returning to its normal dark color. The anger seemed to have escaped him completely. "Thanks, Dende. I mean it," he rose in the air, taking off for home, "Oh and sorry about the whole yelling thing. Sometimes I don't know what comes over me!"

Dende fainted.

* * *

_edited 05.05.13_


	6. Misadventures in Popularity

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**  
_Chapter 5: Gohan's Misadventures in Popularity_

* * *

Like many other high schools in this particular part of the world, Orange Star had various traditions that were upheld from year to year, class to class, generation to generation. No one really knew when the whole nonsense started, but it became very apparent that they were here to stay in the year that the most popular school girl of the century - Ms. Bulma Briefs herself - entered Orange Star as a freshman.

Immediately, talk began to swarm about the buxom, blue-haired beauty. Who was she? Was she really only fourteen? Was it TRUE that she got a perfect score on the entrance exam? Was she REALLY the richest girl in the WORLD? Was she easy? And perhaps most importantly - did she have a boyfriend?

Now, Bulma had certainly known she was smart and beautiful, perhaps the smartest and most beautiful girl in the entire school - and the entire world even, but let's not get too much ahead of ourselves - but when the president of the student council approached her with the charter for the newly formed "Bulma Briefs Appreciation Society" even -she- was impressed, and that certainly says something. Of course, she hadn't joined - who joins their own fan club? - but she figured that being one of the most revered figures in school might help her in her quest to find the most perfect boyfriend in the entire galaxy.

Well, it hadn't. Apparently, being the smartest, prettiest and most popular girl at school had this effect where the most handsome and desirable boys would shy away because of their belief that they were subordinate to her undeserving of her attention. Because of that, at age sixteen, Bulma Briefs was still without a suitable boyfriend.

And so, with her fanclub in full support, at the beginning of the summer of her second year at Orange Star, Bulma decided to do something about the lack of a perfect lover in her life. And as you probably all know, that's a whole other story, starting with a little boy with a tail and strange orange balls and culminating in a union with, if not Prince Charming, a prince of _something_.

Well. She'd wanted a prince, hadn't she? But, again, that's a whole other story.

The "Bulma Briefs Appreciation Society" actually still existed today, coincidentally headed by the mother of the current Orange Star High School Council Vice-President in charge of Club Charters - a bouncy, extroverted red-head, who, at the time of this little flashback, was trying to convince our favorite Clueless Wonder as to why exactly there were FOUR school endorsed clubs that concentrated on either himself, Videl, or both.

"Well, you see Gohan," the girl - he'd forgotten her name already - led him down the hallway during their free period, which happened to be the second one of the day, "it would be good for your image and reputation if you made an appearance at the meeting of the 'Son Gohan Guild' this period and the 'Videl and Gohan Matchmaking Society' later this afternoon - around fourish please, and don't be late, they're a very impatient lot - "

"Excuse me, did you just say 'Matchmaking Society?'" He briefly wondered how he'd lived his life before entering high school; battling Cell and Furiza was practically mundane compared with the social setting of this hell they called an educational institution.

She tossed him a pained look. "Look, Gohan. You've been here at Orange Star for almost a whole year now and even if you haven't noticed how incredibly gorgeous and desirable you are -" the Saiyan in question blushed a bright red, "doesn't mean other people haven't noticed. Now, there are the two clubs I mentioned before, not to mention the 'Videl Satan Worshippers' - ha, ha, a little pun there - and the growing society trying to break the two of you up - "

"Now, look," Gohan halted and turned to her, "that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Videl and I aren't even dating." Not yet, anyway. "We're just friends!"

The green-eyed girl latched onto Gohan's arm and proceeded to pull him down the hallway. "Sure you are. Whatever. No one really cares. Your fanclub loves you, her fanclub loves her, and the matchmaking society loves the two of you together. And, despite your attempts to remain anonymous at this school, it seems you can't just stay in the background any longer. Your fans are getting restless, Gohan."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't have any fans. Believe me when I say if they're looking up to me, they've got some sort of dysfunctionality - "

"Gohan, Gohan, Gohan," she tsked, stopping outside of the door of a classroom. Gohan looked through the glass window to see about thirty or so girls, waiting and staring into space, hearts in their eyes. "So many girls can't be wrong. Now, they know that you're in love with Videl -"

"I am NOT!" he sputtered indignantly, blushing so violently steam might come out his ears at a moment's notice.

This time she rolled her eyes up at him. "WhatEVER. Just go in there, say a couple of words, and leave. If you let one or two of them glomp you, that might not hurt so much either. You'll look very sensitive and caring," she reached to turn the knob, and noticed that Gohan was looking frantically from side to side, no doubt considering an escape. "Videl might even appreciate the effort you're putting into fitting in here at Orange Star," she added, slyly.

His dark eyes widened. "You think so?"

Boys. So easily manipulated. The girl widened her red lips into a grin. "I know so. Anyway," she opened the door and the girls inside began squealing at Gohan's presence, but she ignored them, "do you think you could persuade Videl to stop by later also? It would look really great if the two of you came together, because it would give the club a little hope that the two of you are finally getting your act together. I think their morale has been dwindling lately - "

"What a tragedy," Gohan interrupted. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of people congregating on a daily basis to discuss his love life, or, point in fact, lack thereof.

The girls began to voice their admiration and proclaim their love for Gohan as he and the red-haired girl made their way to the front of the classroom, to the utter dismay and embarrassment of the teenage demi-Saiyan. "You should really consider running for Council, Gohan," she whispered to him, "you'd definitely win."

"I'll think about it." If 'I'll think about it' came to mean "Not in a million freakin' years, thank you very much.'

"Girls! Does anyone have any questions for Gohan?"

A small, blonde girl with shining brown eyes, jumped up from her front row seat. "Are you a virgin, Gohan? I bet you aren't..."

He groaned. This was going to be a long, long day.

* * *

While Gohan was trying frantically to escape the hell that was, indeed, the Son Gohan Guild meeting, a group of high school students were gathered in a small, deserted classroom in the basement that was used as a bomb shelter years ago when Satan City - which wasn't Satan City then, that's how long ago it was - was wracked with huge, unexplainable explosions that had almost caused mass riots because of confusion and fear. Later, scientists had come up with an almost ridiculous explanation - something about earth tremors and fault lines and the like - but the only people who really knew what happened all those years ago lived out in the country, on the Capsule Corp. compound and at the Kame House.

Oh, and one in particular was _still_ trying to escape the hell that was, indeed, the Son Gohan Guild meeting.

Speaking of Son Gohan. "All right people," a mysterious figure, shielded in all black, sat behind a humongous digital projector. "We all know why we're here. We may be here for different reasons but our goal is undoubtedly the same."

The projector switched on suddenly, a huge slide of Gohan gracing the white screen. The dozen or so guys in the room booed violently, while the girls sighed dreamily. "Son Gohan. Age seventeen. Too damn smart for his own good, too damn handsome to be straight. As of now, Public Enemy Number One."

The slide switched again to reveal the Great Saiyaman, in the middle of one of his cool - erm, okay - poses. The figure in black scowled. "There are also rumors that Gohan and the Great Saiyaman are one in the same. Which leads us to the inevitable questioning of how this man can fly, shoot energy sparks from his hands, and wear such an ugly costume with a clear conscience."

The slide show continued, and stopped on a rather flattering picture of Videl Satan, sitting beside her father on a news telecast. "The beautiful, strong, wonderful Videl," the figure in black had to stop himself from fainting. The guys in the background hooting obscene things brought him back to reality, and he had to eventually scream at the girls to shut up because their death threats were getting on his nerves. "Turns eighteen tomorrow. She's a Goddess, and much too good for the likes of one Son Gohan."

"Unfortunately," he continued, flipping through various slides of Gohan and Videl together, "the two seem to get closer with each passing day. There have even been rumors - no doubt started by that pansy matchmaking club - that the two are in LOVE!" He clichéd the projector remote in his hands, almost crushing the thing in two. The crowd hissed behind him.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen? What are we going to do about this atrocity?"

"We could poison his lunch!" one guy screamed, punching his fist in the air. He was immediately attacked by three Gohan fangirls. "Okay, okay, I take it back! I take it back! BITCH, that was my HAIR!"

"We could kidnap Videl and hold her for ransom, and someone can attack Gohan and prevent him from saving her, and she'll see that he doesn't care about her!" one girl suggested. "Although... if Gohan IS the Great Saiyaman, he'd probably find a way to save her anyway... dammit."

The figure in black sighed. "Well? Anyone else?" Silence. "Well, I propose we start a rumor about the bastard and Videl. We'll have to have a contact outside of this club, because obviously no one will trust anything we say... "

A girl in the back spoke up. "My cousin just moved here. I could tell it to her, and people will probably believe her. She's not in love with Gohan," the girl's eyes became cloudy. "Yet..."

The leader rolled his eyes. "All right we've got a contact. Anyone have any ideas about what kind of rumor it should be?"

Silence.

Crickets.

Tumbleweeds.

"I am surrounded," he groaned, "by ineffectual morons. All right people, THIS is what we're going to do... "

* * *

"Oh my gosh, can you believe it?" It was the break between third and fourth period by now, and two periods were completely sufficient for a rumor to become dogma. Or... something. A blonde girl turned to her best friend. "I never would have believed it."

The best friend in question began stuffing books into her locker. "What?"

"Gohan and Videl. Videl and Gohan!" The first girl's eyes were practically dancing with mirth, finally having the chance to break the news that she'd heard from a friend of a brother of a mother's cousin's daughter's best friend's dog walker's paperboy's half-sister.

"What about them? That's old news." She struggled to keep the books from falling out, but was failing miserably. "A little help here, maybe?"

"They did IT!"

The books dropped unceremoniously to the floor. "... YOU'RE KIDDING!? _IT_?!"

"Shh... not so loud!"

"Sorry. You're kidding, aren't you? Mr. Golden Boy and Ms. Ice Queen? I'm afraid you've got the wrong people, honey."

"It's the truth! Look at them now. They're practically having sex now! Disgusting."

The two girls glanced at Videl and Gohan, who were innocently standing by their lockers talking. Gohan seemed to be completely red in the face, gesticulating wildly and the two girls could make out bits and pieces of the conversation, which they concluded had something to do with "fangirls" "glomping" and "banning school endorsed clubs." Videl was struggling to hold in laughter.

The girl bent down to pick up her books and try - AGAIN - to get them into the locker. "You're crazy. That's all I have to say."

"Fine, don't believe me. But let the record show, I knew it all along. It's always the quiet ones."

"... You're serious aren't you?"

"Dead serious."

"Damn, I never would have... Well, Videl could have picked a worse person to sleep with."

"Excuse me?" A voice came from behind the two freshman and they turned to see Erasa, indignant scowl on her face and hands on her hips. "WHAT did you just say?"

The two girls' eyes widened. "Didn't you hear?" They asked, simultaneously.

"No," Erasa shook her blond head.

"Videl and Gohan had sex!"

"WHAT?!"

"SHHHHH!"

"Yo, Gohan." Aa couple of feet away, a tall burly football player passed by the two, slapping Gohan five. "Good going, man. It had to happen sooner or later, lucky dog."

"Uh... thanks?" Gohan shrugged helplessly at the looks Videl was giving him.

"What was that all about?" Videl asked, raising a slim eyebrow.

"I don't know! I've been getting this practically all morning! First it was the chem lab guys, then the soccer team, then the debate team, then the drama club... I don't understand," Gohan admitted.

Erasa walked stiffly over to Videl. "We need to talk. NOW."

Videl blinked in surprise. What had she done to get Erasa so upset? "Sure, I'll see you later, okay Gohan?" Gohan waved goofily and walked down the hall on the way to the locker room, trying to ignore all the pats on the back and slapping of the hands. "What's up?"

"What's up? Is that all you can SAY to me, VIDEL SATAN?" Erasa crossed her arms over her chest. "After what you've DONE! You didn't even tell me! I thought we were FRIENDS!"

Videl was confused. She picked up her history text book and slammed the locker shut. What the hell was she talking about? "Whatever I did, I'm sor-"

"How could you not tell me that you and Gohan _slept _together?"

"WHAT?!"

"Man, I can't believe you boffed VIDEL SATAN!" Marker exclaimed, slinging a towel around his neck.

"Boffed?" Gohan asked, scratching his head.

"You know... you did the wild walk, signed the deed, scored a touchdown!"

"But... I don't play football Marker," Gohan said, not quite catching on.

"God, Gohan, how dense can you me? We MEAN what you did with Videl!"

"But Videl doesn't play football either!" Gohan paused. "She does play soccer though."

"Dude, you don't have to play dumb. I know you and Videl did it."

"What did you just say?" Sharpner asked, curiously. His voice was strained, but calm. "Did I just hear what I think I just heard?"

"I still have no idea what he's talking about," Gohan said unlacing up his gym shoes.

"Didn't you know Sharpner?" Marker asked. "Gohan finally got laid!"

"WHAT?!"

"Where did you get that idea, Erasa?" Videl asked, panic very noticeable in her voice. "How could anything think THAT!?"

"VIDEL AND I HAD SEX!?" The student body grew silent, as they heard Gohan scream, his voice reverberating throughout the locker room and surrounding hallways.

There was a stunned silence, followed swiftly by the murmurs and whispers of what felt like the entire student body. Videl leveled a murderous glare at the crowd; they quickly (pretended) to resume their normal activities. Her eye twitched harshly. "YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, GOHAN!"

Erasa laughed. "It's not that bad. People will forget you and Gohan are sexually involved in a few days.

Videl ignored her friend and instead stomped over to the boy's locker room. She threw open the door and stormed in, not caring in the least that she'd just entered a room full of half-naked high school boys. "SON GOHAN! I'm going to DECAPITATE you! I'm going to DISEMBOWEL you! I'm going to CASTRATE you!"

Erasa ran alongside her best friend. "But if you castrate him, Videl, you can't have sex anymore!"

"GOHAN AND I ARE _NOT_ HAVING SEX!"

"Well, if you want to call it 'making love' I guess that's okay too, Videl."

Gohan heard Videl's angry cries before she actually came into view. "She thinks I told people we were...! I didn't tell anyone ANYTHING!"

"Dude, if you don't run, you won't live to tell her that." Marker crept towards the emergency exit. Gohan quickly finished dressing and hopped out of the window.

"Where IS HE?" Videl asked bursting into the back room. Erasa quickly covered her eyes as guy of all ages quickly covered themselves.

"Wow, you are insatiable. Can't get enough of the dork, can you?" Sharpner snarled.

When Videl's self-control came back from its vacation, she realized she had pummeled Sharpner to the floor.

Erasa peeked from behind her fingers. "Maybe he went out the window?"

Videl snapped her fingers. "Of course. Oh Gohan, you're going to _wish_ I had killed you when I'm finished with you." She jumped out of the window after him, trying to figure out where exactly he'd be hiding.

Sharpner and Erasa looked at each other. "Do you want to miss this?" he asked her, stuffing his clothes quickly into the locker."

Erasa shook her head. "Not in a million, let's go."

* * *

Principal Naoki was in the middle of a routine paper work run ("The Chow Mein Fan Club, sounds good to me! Approved!"), when the commotion from the football field drew her attention. She leaned slightly out of the window, and could not suppress a gasp at the scene before her.

"SON GOHAN, YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Satan Videl, short hair flying wildly behind her, was chasing the aforementioned boy down the football field.

"But Videl! It's not my fault, I swear!" he shouted, not taking the risk of looking back. She might have been small, but she was damn fast.

Erasa, Sharpner and most of the student boy lagged behind, not being quite fast enough to catch up to the duo, but still not waiting to miss out on any of the action. What _really_ caught the principal's attention wasn't the fact that almost the entire school was running across the football field when they should have been in class, but the fact that three groups of students suddenly caught a second wind and gained dangerous ground on Videl and Gohan. The redheaded girl from earlier that morning, Gohan noticed with a groan as he finally dared to peek behind him, was in the lead.

"Oh, Gohan!" she called, leading the pack of raging students. "I _told_ you that you were popular!"

"What the hell is this?!" Videl was almost shocked into stopping when she noticed the multitudes of students behind her.

"Well," Gohan slowed down a bit to let Videl catch up to him, wondering if he might regret that later. "It's my fanclub and yours, and the one that wants to see us together, and I _think_ even the elusive one that wants to break us up is present."

Videl's eyes widened. "Why are they CHASING US?!"

"Is it TRUE?!" Most of the kids were shouting about the alleged sexual relations between Videl and Gohan, and squabbles were starting to break out among the various groups. Various club members were debating seriously, while running after the two at top speed, why or why not Videl and Gohan should have sex, stop denying their obviously repressed love for one another, get pizza after school, etc, etc.

"Look, while they're distracted," Videl whispered to Gohan, "we'll just take off. We're fast enough, we can lose them."

Gohan nodded. Videl seemed to have forgotten that five minutes ago she was ready to kill him.

"And when we're through with them, I'm going to deal with you!"

It was too good to be true.

* * *

"Okay, who's in charge of the decorations?" Chi-Chi asked, holding her clipboard close to her heart. It was a dream come true, planning her future daughter-in-law's surprise birthday party. She was positively glowing.

"We are!" Trunks and Goten said in unison. "Let's put this baby picture of Gohan naked over here!" Trunks suggested.

Goten snickered behind his small hands. "Okay!"

"Food?"

"That would be me," Krillin said, pulling the numbers of caterer's out of the phone book. "Do you think there's a place that serves for more than a thousand people at one time?"

"Music?"

"I'll handle that," Bulma offered.

"Invitations?"

"I'll send them out," Goku scooped up envelopes.

"Who's going to keep Videl busy while we set up?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Gohan, of course," Goku said happily. "He won't tell me where he's taking her, though."

Vegeta snorted. He raised an eyebrow as he felt a familiar presence nearby. Two, actually, and the their ki signatures were very - interesting. Maybe coming to the loudmouth harpy's residence wouldn't be a _complete_ waste of time.

!Ring!

"Hello, Bulma Briefs here," Bulma answered her cell phone. "Principal Naoki? It's been awhile! I haven't spoken to you since high school! Yes, I know my fanclub hasn't disbanded yet... no my husband really doesn't like me to - Oh, that isn't why you called?" Pause. "Have I seen Gohan? Yes, I know my name was on the contact card but I really don't know... No I... REALLY?! I mean, that's terrible! I'm sure it's not true. Well if I see him or Videl, I'll tell you. Good bye."

Bulma looked at the group, her azure eyes shining. "Well, well, well. Little Gohan is growing up faster than we thought. It seems there's a little rumor going around the high school that a certain Saiyan and a Miss Videl, have been having a little fun, if you know what I mean."

"You don't mean..." Krillin started, a smile fighting to break out on his face. "Wow! He works fast!"

"My little boy is growing up! Think of the grandchildren!"

"At the rate they're going, you better worry about over population."

Vegeta was just about to comment when he was _so _rudely interrupted by two figures, battered and dirty, falling through the front door. Videl and Gohan landed at the group's feet, exhausted and out of breath. Gohan's clothes were ripped in various places, and Videl's hair was splattered with mud.

"Oh no! It's Videl! Act cool," Krillin commented, fumbling with the yellow pages. He quickly stuck it under his shirt.

"Real cool, Krillin," Bulma commented.

Chi-Chi looked down at his son and Videl strangely. "Shouldn't you two be in school? It's only noon!"

"Ran... all... the... way... Too... tired... " Videl offered weakly. "to... kill... you... Gohan..."

"Great," he murmured to the floor, wondering if passing out would be a good idea or not.

"You two look pretty disheveled," Bulma blinked down at the floor. "What have you two been... up to?"

Gohan looked up at her blankly. "What?"

"She wants to know, brat," Vegeta told him mildly, "if you and your mate happened to stop to fuck on the way over here."

Gohan decided that it was, indeed, the _perfect_ time to pass out.

And so he did.

* * *

_Edited 05.07.13_


	7. Misadventures in Kissing

-**Note**-: Although this story technically could fit into the 10 years in between Japanese episodes 288 and 289, it is now falling quite rapidly in into the AU area. Those of you that follow the Japanese versions probably know that after powering up to Mystic, Gohan can no longer become SSJ in fear of the pure energy destroying the planet. In this story, well... we don't care. For the purposes of this little Gohan/Videl get-together, the episodes after 288 didn't happen AND Gohan can still go SSJ without destroying us all. Kapish? ~ Management

-**Another Note**-: We've set up a mailing list in order to inform you, dear reader, when new chapters are going to be posted. All you have to do to subscribe is send an email to Sunyzangel143@aol.com, Re: G/V Mailing List. From then on, you'll be privvy to when new chapters come out, snippets of future chapters (perhaps, if we feel especially giving), other recommended stories, etc. Believe us, it's worth it.

****

The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Goten and Trunks)

  
By: CCS AnGeL00   
Edited by (and co-writer of chapter 6): My 'Neechan Ilana (Absolut Angel)

Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks

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****

Chapter 6: Gohan's Misadventures in Kissing 

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"Videl," Gohan's obsidian eyes bore straight through her own, sending a chill down her spine. She unconsciously shivered in his embrace, which was tightening as the seconds wore on, his arms clamped securely around her waist, hands digging into the flesh. "Videl..."

"Gohan..." her voice was merely a whisper, and sounded strange in her ears. Why was she here? Why couldn't she force herself to tear her gaze from his? And why did she have this ridiculous urge to tell him something? It was SO important, she knew, terribly important, and if she didn't tell him in the next thirty seconds something awful was going to happen, she just knew, like Bulma and Vegeta falling through the window or Goku showing up in a firefighter's uniform because she was...

... so hot...

It was so unbearably hot. She was suddenly much too uncomfortable in all the clothes she was wearing. Flames were shooting up all around them and she could feel the beads of perspiration traveling down her left cheek. He raised a large finger and brushed it away, and continued on to trace the contours of her full lips. "You're hot," he whispered, abdoning her lips and brushing a damp bang from one of her eyes. "You're so very hot."

... so hot...

She reached up to cup his cheek, and his skin was smooth but icy to the touch. She almost jerked back in surprise, but he took his own hand and covered hers. If it was possible, his hand was even colder. The sudden temperature change caused her to unconsciously tremble. He was cold but she was...

... so hot... (Dear reader, do you get the picture yet? It's HOT.)

His eyes softened as he lowered his head and brushed his icy lips against hers. "I'm not like other guys," he whispered against his mouth, blowing a cold, cold wind with his kiss. He swept his lips over hers again and again. She found herself caring less and less about the temperature, about anything else really, as long as she was here, with him, with his lips on hers the way they were and --

"Don't ever leave me, Videl," he whispered, and to her absolute horror she found herself farther and farther from where he actually way. His voice was coming from a very far away place. "Everyone I've ever loved..."

And then he was gone.

She was very cold.

"!!GOHAN!!"

She realized she was shaking again, but not because it was cold, although she was very, very cold. Miya was standing over her in the darkened room, shaking Videl's small shoulders vigorously, violet eyes wide with concern. "Videl, wake up this instant!"

Videl blinked the sleep out of her eyes and looked up at her friend. She ran a hand through her damp hair. What a dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare. But that kiss... what a dream. Her eyes unfocused again and she smiled hazily.

"Videl," Miya was talking to her again, and Videl snapped her attention back to the dark-haired housekeeper, who was beginning to notice that something was not quite right with her favorite charge. She was shivering in her tank top and sweat pants (her favorite bedtime attire) but most of the covers were thrown off the bed, and she was drenched in sweat. "Videl, you look like you're at death's door, sweetheart."

"I'm fine," was Videl's reply. She stood up on shaky legs and headed towards the bathroom.

Miya shook her head. "You're not fine, dear," she stalked over to Videl and thrust a hand to her forehead. "You're burning up. I know that it's your birthday -- by the way, happy birthday Vi, and there was already a congregation outside the west wing ready to serenade you, but Pierre shooed them away -- but you really shouldn't be out in this condition."

Miya's statement was punctuated by the fact that Videl chose that exact time to have a violent coughing fit, and was almost toppled over by the sheer force of it. "I'm fine," she lied, stalking to her bathroom and closing the door. "I promise you, Miya, I'll be okay."

The middle aged woman cringed when she heard Videl scream seconds later. "The poor dear. She must have caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror."

----

It was very early in the morning for shopping, but Bulma had pulled some strings, and so, at six in the morning on this lovely day, Son Gohan was standing in the Satan City Florist, pondering the pros and cons of each type of flower. Orchids, violets, daises... all beautiful and sweet, like her, but... no. Videl was still quite angry with him. Lilies? No, he thought, wincing, not the flower of death, although they might come in handy at his funeral if that rumor was still circulating. Better make it roses. Yes, a dozen red roses. People thought they had sex. Gohan looked thoughtful for a second. Make it two dozen. Two dozen red and yellow roses. Yes, that should be quite nice.

Maybe, just maybe if he was really lucky, he could even get a hug or a kiss from her. Gohan looked down fondly at the flowers.

Oh, this would be quite nice indeed.

"Who's the lucky girl?" The teenage girl behind the counter looked quite sleepy and perhaps a bit haggard, probably because it wasn't the Briefs woman but her -husband- that had come to claim the shopkeeper from her home early this morning -- which was a bit of surprise for the girl, because she had always thought that Bulma played for the -other- team, dear readers, if you know what she means -- and although she didn't mind being dragged out of bed by perhaps the world's handsomest and most built man she'd EVER laid her eyes on, being threatened with death and dismemberment and general bodily harm was -not- her favorite way to start the day. 

Gohan reached behind his head and laughed, handing the girl the flowers to wrap. "It's.. uh... for... just a friend," his cheeks were already flaming, just -thinking- about the small, short-haired beauty.

The girl behind the counter grinned wryly as she wrapped the flowers in cellophane and pretty tissue paper, and handed him a card. "So I was forcefully dragged from my warm, comfy bed this morning by an insane, raving, gorgeous lunatic for just a friend? How disappointing." She propped her elbows on the counter and waiting for him to fill the card out.

"Heh. Thanks," Gohan tapped his pen thoughtfully against his bottom lip. 'Sorry people think we had sex. Happy Birthday,' didn't quite seem appropriate. Besides, the girl behind the counter was watching him quite intently, and he didn't think Videl would appreciate another person thinking about.. well... the sex thing. "Insane raving lunatic?"

The girl nodded gravely. "Mrs. Briefs sent her husband to get my quote, 'lazy pink-haired ass' unquote out of bed this morning. I would have come on my own accord -- Mrs. Briefs is one of our biggest sponsors and we're very grateful to everything she's done for us -- but her husband did an admirable job."

Gohan chuckled knowingly. "That's Vegeta, I suppose. He won't take orders from anyone, he claims, but when Bulma tells him to jump, he doesn't even have to ask how high."

"He seems like an interesting guy."

"Yeah, something like that." 'Sorry about the sex thing, although I wouldn't really mind... ARGH... concentrate Gohan, concentrate.'

"Hey, you're Son Gohan, aren't you?" 

'I'm sorry for everything. Happy Birthday, love Gohan' sounded a bit better to the demi-Saiyan. He smiled, and began to write it. "Mmhm. That's me."

The pink-haired girl smiled, her eyes twinkling. "We go to school together. You probably don't know me at all though, because I'm a year younger than you. You're pretty popular for a guy that's only been in school for a year."

Gohan snapped his head up, his pen almost slipping, coincidently on the word 'love'. "You don't belong to one of this ridiculous -- "

"Oh no," she laughed, seeing the stricken look across his handsome face. "I have way too many extracurricular activities to belong to your fan club, not to mention the fact that I spend pretty much all of my time here. My parents own the place, but they both have other jobs, so I handle most of the tedious work. My older sister runs the place while I'm at school."

Gohan sighed in relief as she giggled again, and handed over the flowers. The last thing he needed was another insane fangirl chasing after him, she supposed, when all he really wanted was to be invisible. "Can I offer you some advice Gohan?"

He blinked at her once, and then nodded. She seemed nice enough and not in the least bit obsessed, which was the complete opposite of his entire family and three quarters of the student body at Orange High.

"These are for a girl you like, right?" He hesitated. She went to his school so she'd obviously know who he was talking about but... something about her made him want to trust her. Maybe it was her open, honest, light pink eyes.

He nodded. "I like her a lot."

"Does she know?"

He was silent.

She smiled up at him. "You should just tell her. Believe me, it'll save a lot of pain later on. And besides... there's not a girl on this -planet- who wouldn't want to hear that Son Gohan likes her."

He blushed a bright red. "I.. um... I'll consider it. I better go and get these to her before school starts, or the next time you see Vegeta he'll be gathering flowers for my funeral. He probably wouldn't mind, now that I think about it."

She gave him a funny look. "Oookay... if you say so. Good luck, Gohan!" She called to him as he walked out the door, "Go get her!" 

'Yeah,' At a safe distance from the flower shop, he took off the ground towards Videl's house, 'If she doesn't get me first.'

Lillia's usually colored eyes followed the dark haired boy as he left the shop in the general vicinity of the Satan Mansion. When she was sure he was out of sight, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Yeah, it's me," she told the person on the other end, a smile stretching across her face. "Phase I, initialized." A pause. "No, stay where you are. You need to do some damage control for yesterday's -incident-... And keep an eye on Naoki... I have a feeling that the Club That Will Not Be Named is going to attempt to hatch another ridiculous scheme day; it IS her birthday after all... No, I -can't-, you know I have too much time with council, my teams and other clubs, and the shop." Wicked grin. "Besides, I'm more of a 'Behind the Scenes' kind of girl, anyway. See you at school." Groan. "Well, at least try not to make things WORSE. Bye."

----

"Videl, please," Miya begged, trailing said girl around the house as she got ready for school. So far, she'd only had to punch two guys hanging out at windows (a third floor bathroom window and a second floor rec room window) in order to wish her a happy birthday, but it was seven-thirty and it was already three less than last year at this time. "You're coming down with something. Just skip school today." 

Videl sneezed in reply. "It must be allergies or something. Don't worry about me." Videl sat down at the dining room table and poked at her eggs. She forced herself to eat most of what was in front of her; she'd show Miya she was okay if it killed her. She winced as her stomach rumbled in annoyance. And it just -might- kill her.

"Maybe I should cancel my trip," Miya pressed her hand to her cheek before clearing away Videl's dishes. "I don't want you to be alone when you are sick."

"I'll be fine. It's only for a week, besides I wouldn't want you to miss your grandson's graduation because of me," Videl blew her nose, grabbing her school bag and jacket. She stopped to punch another guy out at the dining room picture window. "GodDAMMIT, go AWAY!" She turned her attention back to Miya. "If I feel really bad, I'll go to the doctor. Don't worry about it. I'm sure this will go away."

"You are the most stubborn girl in the whole world! Fine, don't blame me when you get pneumonia. If your father asks, I'll say you threatened me," Miya threw her hands up and stomped out of the dining room. "I have to go pack now and visit people who actually -listen- to me!"

"Miya?"

"Yes?" Miya stopped at the door.

Videl walked over, giving her long time friend a hug. Miya was shocked at the rare display of affection. The girl must be sicker then she thought! "Videl?"

"Thank you Miya. For everything. Now go, you have a plane to catch. I'll see you next week."

"Vi," she told her with a parting glance, "Even if I'm not here to take care of you, that nice boy Gohan -- who's name you were screaming all night long, by the way -- would be happy to take on the duty, I'm SURE."

Videl felt herself redden at Miya's comment and was about to retort when Miya wisely escaped to her room to finish packing. Videl sighed grabbed a few more tissues while running down her large staircase so she could -finally- leave for school. She was just about to slip her boots on when her doorbell rang. She flung the door open, and was greeting with the view of lots of flowers and a pair of legs. Very nice legs, she thought offhandedly. "Gohan?"

"Hi," his voice was muffled from behind the flowers. "Happy birthday!"

"It's a good thing I'm sick and my defenses are down, otherwise I'd never forgive you so quickly. A bribe was nice, too. They're beautiful. Well? " Videl opened the door all the way. "Come in quickly before you let any of the well wishers in. I'll go get a vase to put these in."

"You're sick?" Gohan called as she went into the kitchen. He followed her after a couple of seconds, and stuck the flowers into a beautiful blue ceramic vase after she'd filled it with water.

What wonderful little miracles make-up and decongestants were. "A little. I'll live. I'll put these up in my room later," she promised.

"Stay home today then," he insisted, putting his hand on her forehead. "You have a fever."

"You're starting to sound like Miya. I'm fine! Really," she pushed his hand away. "It's probably just a 24 hour thing. We need to get to school, we're going to be late. We can't disappoint our... fans."

Gohan groaned thinking about the reception the two would get after their early exit yesterday. Videl zipped up her boots and pulled him out of the door. "So," she said conversationally, blue eyes twinkling, "where are you taking me later?"

"I'm taking you somewhere where we can be alone, with NO interruptions from family members, middle aged baseball players, balding monks or the Satanic Saiyan Spawn."

"Oh, so you're taking me somewhere where you plan to take advantage of one the fact that we'll be completely alone and you're so much stronger than me. Okay, sounds like a plan." Videl grinned, screaming out an occasional 'Thank you' to the people passing by, wishing her a wonderful birthday.

Gohan sputtered. "ITS NOT LIKE THAT!" 

"Suuure it isn't." Ooh, the game 'Let's make Gohan blush' was getting increasingly more fun by the -minute-. Why hadn't she thought to play this game before?

"Videl!" 

"You wouldn't even have the GUTS to take advantage of me, anyway, so I wont worry." 

"..." 

"That's more Vegeta, or maybe even Yamcha's style. But I'm not worried, because it's just you Gohan, and everyone knows how safe and innocent little Son Gohan is." Her smile was passing from wide grin to evil smirk rapidly.

"!!!!" What exactly was she trying to say? That he was innocent? That she doesn't think he could make a move? That VEGETA or YAMCHA would be the better choice!? "I could make a move if I -WANTED- to!"

"Sure you could Gohan," she patted him on the back, "Sure you could. Oh look, we're here. Time to face the minions."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SATAN VIDEL!" A huge banner swayed across the front lawn of Orange Star High, a plethora of students milling around, awaiting her arrival. She groaned and tossed him a pleading look, but he made no move to help her. 

'I'll show her,' Gohan seethed, pushing through the multitudes of people towards the building. 'This is the end of 'Innocent Little Gohan!' Long live... 'Living On The Edge Gohan!' He paused, and gave the victory sign to a confused random student. "Damn, I'm cool!"

"Son Gohan?" A smaller boy addressed the Saiyan before he could walk through the front door.

"Yeah?"

"Principle Naoki would like to see you. Please follow me."

Gohan groaned. If he was in trouble, Chi-Chi would have his head. 

On a platter.

And serve it to Vegeta.

"Shit."

---

Videl attempted to stuff the inane number of the presents she had received from half the student body into her locker, failing miserably. And it was only nine o'clock. Dende help me, she thought, as she attempted to quickly shove most of the various items into the locker and punch the door forcefully shut. Ignoring the dent in the oldish metal, she stepped back and to her complete dismay, a shower of roses, candy and cards flew out at her, knocking her to the ground. "ARGH! This is beyond stupid! Augh, and all the -Thank You- cards I have to write... DAMMIT!"

"Need some help?" Sharpener asked smoothly, coming up behind her. He tossed his long blond hair over one shoulder, and bent down to help his friend.

"I guess," she muttered, picking all the presents off of the floor. "Can you stick some of this stuff in your locker? I can't fit all of them in mine. It would really be a big help."

"Sure," he turned to her. "What's it feel like to be eighteen now?" He picked up a fallen card.

Dear Videl,

We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. 

Love,

The Debate Team. 

P.S. You're hot.

"The same as seventeen I guess," Videl grabbed the card and ripped it into a million pieces, and proceeded to rub her temples. She felt a migraine come at full force. 

"Hey, you don't look so good," Sharpener said with honest concern. "Maybe you should go home?"

"I'm alright," she snapped. "It's just a cold."

"Alright, alright, no need to get crazy," Sharpener backed away. "We have class now, let's go."

"Fine," she said darkly slamming her locker closed. Stupid people. Stupid school. Stupid everything.

"Hey Videl," Gohan said, returning from his trip to the Principal's office. Trying to explain exactly -how- he'd led most of the student body away from school at nearly eleven-thirty yesterday was going to be a challenge (he didn't want to have to explain the details of the rumor, but anyone who was anyone in this school knew exactly to what extent Gohan could lie, and that was that he couldn't to save his life), but he found he didn't even have to try as their meeting was postponed due to a cafeteria crisis. Something about contaminated lunch meat. Or something. He promised himself that he and Videl would go out to lunch today. "How are you holding up?"

"I'M FINE! I WISH PEOPLE WOULD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Videl screamed, her voice going hoarse. She covered her mouth as a coughing fit took over, and she slumped over gracelessly.

Gohan put his arm around her waist and held her up. "Are you really alright?"

Videl blushed at the contact, and decided the floor was mighty interesting until her blush receded. "I really am. I feel a little better now actually."

"I'm glad."

"Videl!" A blonde blur whizzed by Gohan and tackled the dark-haired fighter, throwing them both to the ground. It was Erasa, and by the looks of it, she was excited. "Happy Birthday, Love!"

Videl laughed at her best friend and Gohan reached down to pull them both up. "Thanks, Erasa."

"I have your present," the blonde stage-whispered to Videl, "but I see you're having a problem with all of the presents you've gotten already, so I'll give it to later."

"You didn't have to -- "

"I know! But I wanted to! But I bet my present won't nearly be as nice as Gohan's, right Gohan?" Erasa winked conspicuously at the boy, who blushed a bright red.

"Erasa, you don't actually believe that asinine rumor about Videl and I -- uh -- you know --"

Erasa's blue eyes flickered in amusement. "Of -course- not, Gohan. Everyone knows that you would never do something like that."

Gohan blinked. "Now wait just one second, Erasa, I certainly COULD if I wan -- "

Videl slapped her hands over Gohan's mouth. "Gohan, do you WANT to make things worse?"

"She insulted my manhood!"

"What manhood?" Sharpener interjected, speaking up for the first time. He cringed at the death glare being shot at him by Gohan. "Uh... nevermind. We're gonna be late for class guys, we should go."

Gohan grabbed Videl's hand and held it tightly, ignoring the catcalls from the various students and the knowing look Erasa and Sharpener exchanged. He did, however, notice that Videl's reddened face became even redder, so he asked, "Okay?"

She smiled up at him, and laced her fingers with his. "Okay."

A familiar figure in the shadows emerged from behind a bank of lockers, and flipped up her cell phone. "Phase I, complete... WHAT?! DAMMIT, I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON NAOKI! Go down to the cafeteria and make sure Naoki is in her office by announcements -- what do you MEAN the cafeteria is QUARANTINED?!" Lillia pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "I have a class now that I can't miss, so if I were you I'd find a way to get Naoki back up here. I have a feeling something very bad is about to happen."

The pink-haired girl closed her cell phone with a -snap- and groaned as she walked into Level Four English, the only class she shared with most of the upperclassman. She took her seat behind Gohan and Videl, and tapped the girl on the shoulder. "Videl?"

Videl, in the middle of a conversation with Gohan pertaining to his manhood (or, perhaps, lack thereof, but Videl was really beginning to feel too sick to play around with him) turned around in annoyance, but quickly brightened when she saw who had tapped her. "Lillia!"

"Happy Birthday, Videl," said Lillia, handing her a card. "This is from my parents and me; it's a gift certificate to the store." She lowered her voice, "I know that today is hard for you -- "

Videl coughed. "It's okay, Lillia. It's no big deal anymore."

"Why is today hard for you?" Gohan asked, turning to look at Videl.

"It's nothing, I'll tell you later."

Lillia blushed. "I'm sorry if I brought it up, Videl."

Videl put her hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "It's really not a huge deal anymore, Lil. Thanks for your concern though. I appreciate it."

"Good morning," a male voice projected over the video projector. Videl and Gohan turned back around to face the television, where they saw the light-haired Marker in place of their Principle. "Principle Naoki has been detained this morning due to an incident in the cafeteria pertaining to Thursday's special of Mystery Meat, and will not be available to read this morning's announcements. The cafeteria is also henceforth quarantined, and no student is permitted to within fifteen feet of said establishment.

"In other news, in what is being called 'The Great Student Runout', three hundred students ran across the football field late yesterday morning, leaving only a quarter of the student body left to finish the regulation school day. Our sources say that the catalyst was a rumor circulating about Son Gohan and Satan Videl, started by one of our own school endorsed clubs, which we have confirmed to be FALSE." At this, Marker grinned. "Gohan, man, get it together and make this rumor true by the end of the year!"

"!!!Marker!!!" Videl screamed at the VidScreen. "When I get my hands on that boy..." Gohan seethed silently.

"All students that missed yesterday afternoon's classes will eventually be reprimanded, presumably when Principle Naoki returns from her trip to the emergency room where three of our students are being held, due to the accidental inhalation of the fumes surrounding the cafeteria."

Lillia's eyes widened. "Oh no! That means no one is going to be around when -- "

"Today is a very special day, fellow students," Marker told the student body. "Today is our very own Videl's eighteenth birthday. Various clubs organized a birthday welcome this morning," various video clips of this morning's catastrophe on the front lawn, and Videl was horrified in how completely and utterly -terrible- she looked. And -where- exactly was Gohan when she needed him? Hanging around the principal's office, hmph. "Videl was showered with attention, praise, and hundreds of gifts, so much so, in fact, that she almost keeled over with the sheer weight of them! Poor girl. Anyway, the staff here at OSTV wish Videl a very happy birthday, and many more to come.

"We have here with us the President of one of Videl's appreciation societies, who has offered to read a poem in honor of Videl and this very special day."

Lillia and Videl stared in horror. "You have GOT to be kidding me!" They screamed in unison. 

The figure was shrouded in shadows and none of the students recognized him. Lillia recognized him instantly, and glared at the VidScreen. The mysterious boy cleared his throat.

"I want to lay you down in my bed

And hope I don't wake up dead

I pray for Gohan to be gone

by acid rain or an atomic bomb

Oh Videl, you are so cute

I'd like to caress you, without getting sued

Oh my darlin, my love, my dear

Won't you let me touch your rear?

You've got style, You've got class

So please Videl, don't kick my ass

I want your body in each and every way

So be my lover on this very special day"

"Gohan," Videl put her hand on Gohan's own hand, which was shaking in anger. She noticed with pure horror that his dark eyes were flickering a lighter shade of blue. "Gohan, let's get out of here, okay?"

"Well, erm., thank you, Mister President," Marker stuttered, trying to regain his composure. "All club and team meetings are gathering today as per the schedule, which is posted on the front bulletin board. Have a good day, everyone, and a better day tomorrow This is Marker, bidding you farewell. God speed." The VidScreen went black with a loud -pop-.

Gohan took a deep breath and sighed loudly. "You wouldn't really appreciate me killing him, then, Videl?"

"If you can figure out who he is," Lillia grumbled, as the teacher attempted to pick herself off the floor. She had fallen over at the conclusion of the poetry reading. "We've been trying to figure out his identity for -ages-."

"We?" Sharpener raised an eyebrow at the pink-haired girl, who laughed nervously?

"Did I say we? What I meant was -- heh -- "

Videl started to pull Gohan out of his seat. "I'm about ready to blow this joint. What do you say?"

"Cut school TWO DAYS IN A ROW?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

"Like you don't know this crap already. I don't feel well, and I'm eighteen today. I can sign us both out. Come on, it's my -birthday-," She smiled. "And you can take me to that place where Satan Saiyan Spawn do not dwell."

"If you don't feel well, then I should take you home," he protested, as he let her drag him towards the main office. They argued mercilessly until they left the building.

"Well, I, for one, think they're going to make out," Sharpener told Lillia and Erasa as the couple left the classroom.

Lillia sighed. "You pervert." Hopefully, Gohan and Videl would be able to leave school without causing as much of a commotion as yesterday. The crisis control she was going to have to do because of that prick's poem was going to take up most of the day, not to mention the residual effects from yesterday's catastrophe, and she didn't think she could handle another student body "Runout." "Hopefully, tomorrow night will go much smoother."

Sharpener stifled a laugh. "Somehow, I doubt it."

---

The early afternoon sky was a brilliant shade of blue, and the sun trailed bright golden streaks across the azure shade, lighting Gohan and Videl's trail to Kami's Lookout. Technically, since Dende was now Earth's guardian, Kami long since remerged with Piccolo, it could also be called "Dende's Lookout" but Dende preferred the former name as an homage to his mentor.

Located so high above the earth, Gohan told Videl as they made their way, the light never fades. It's an eternal brightness, a beacon in the darkness. She'd been astounded that he actually was in acquaintance with the Guardian of the Earth -- God, she'd told him, was such an abstract idea to her that she'd never really imagined such a being... well... being. She'd never really been into religion, especially not after her eighth birthday when...

"That's a whole other story, anyway," Videl whispered, the wind tousling her short hair. She was flying at top speed, trying desperately to keep up with Gohan, and she -knew- he was slowing down for her, which annoyed her.

"Will you tell it to me?" His gaze pierced hers from her right side, and she faltered. She knew she'd end up telling him, though she knew she couldn't finish without crying, and she hated when people saw her cry.

"Will you tell me about when your father died?"

Gohan's eyes clouded a bit, and refocused. "You mean the time he died when fighting Cell."

She blinked at him. "He's... died before?"

He grabbed her hand. "One story at a time." They flew the rest of the way to the Lookout, fingers intertwined.

---

Gohan set the blanket down in a grassy field, overlooking the edge of the Lookout. The view was beautiful, but not quite as beautiful as the girl beside him, eyes bright at the vision around her. "So," she started, flopping down on the blanket. "You and God are best friends."

Gohan laughed and scratched the back of his head. "I thought you knew about Dende."

She sighed. "I guess I was too worried about my PLANET being blown up and being afraid that you were DEAD to concentrate on the details. Or something."

"When I was growing up, my mother was really insistent about me getting the kind of education my father never had," Gohan spread the plates and food out onto the blanket. "I never really had a chance to make any friends my own age. Dende was the first person my age that I was really friends with. It was an incredibly tumultuous time of my life; at the age of five, I'd already been kidnapped -twice-, watch as my father engage in mortal combat with my long lost uncle, witness the Saiyan Prince and his ogre bodyguard attacked my friends and stand idly by as Piccolo, who was my teacher and best friend, sacrificed his own life for mine..."

"Gohan..."

"We landed on Namek and I was scared -shitless-. It was up to Krillin, Bulma and me to find the dragonballs before Vegeta -or- Freiza, and Krillin and I were really the only fighters. Granted, we couldn't have gotten there without Bulma's genius but... not only did we have to worry about protecting ourselves, but we had to worry about her, also. My father wasn't dead but he was nowhere in sight, and it looked pretty bad. We found Dende and rescued him from Freiza's soldiers, who were destroying every Namekian village in sight. His father and brother had perished in the battles, and I certainly knew what it felt like to lose someone close to me, so, we became fast friends. He was chosen to be the Guardian of Earth because he was pure of heart, Videl, and I'll be the first one to tell you that it's completely true."

Videl drew her knees up to her chest and sighed. "Well, at least you can't say your life's been uneventful, right?"

"I wish it was, sometimes. Peace might be nice, for a change."

The two sat in somber silence as Gohan spread the food out on the plates. His stomach grumbled loudly. "Well? Let's eat!"

She giggled as she surveyed the enormous amount of food in front of her. "What did you do, Gohan, rob a sushi bar?!" The thought of him going into one of her favorite restaurants and ordering two of everything on the menu almost caused another giggling fit.

"Something like that."

Videl ate her eel avocado rolls slowly with lots of ginger, and tried not to watch Gohan shove 

enormous amounts of rice and chicken tempura in his mouth, knowing that it would probably make her sick. He would occasionally break for a bit of miso soup, but he definitely favored solid food. Minutes later, he'd cleared most of the food off of the plates, and was eyeing her last roll hungrily.

"Are you going to -- ?"

She sighed. "It's all yours."

Gohan snickered as he snatched the roll from her plate with lightening fast chopsticks and plopped it into his mouth. "Its good, even if I like tuna better. Heh, you've got a bit of wasabi right -there-," he swept his nimble fingers across the edge of her lips without even thinking about it and wiped off the green colored condiment. Halfway through the motion he actually realized what he was doing, and instead of jerking back like his mind was screaming at him to do, he continued to trace the contours of her soft lips with his fingers, mesmerized by the sudden look of surprise on her face and the way her cheeks were reddening under his touch.

Ah, so the 'Let's Make Videl Blush' game was just as fun as the one she had been playing on the way to school. Leaving his fingertips on the edge of her bottom lip, he moved closer and with his other hand and tucked a short, stray hair behind her ear. She hadn't moved away from him -- she was merely still staring at him in mild astonishment -- so he figured she was either in shock, or, maybe she actually enjoyed being close to him. He prayed that it was the latter.

When his nose brushed against hers, she snapped her mind back into reality from where it was (it had been basically screaming, "He's going to kiss you, he's going to kiss you, for the love of Dende, he's FINALLY going to kiss you!") and commanded her to close the final distance that separated his lips from hers. She tilted her face up at that moment, which was enough of a motion to close said gap, and tentatively touched her lips with his.

Unlike her dream the night before, Gohan's lips on hers were very, very warm, but the heavenly contact was broken much too soon when he pulled away. She frowned in annoyance until he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him, and she couldn't help it when she gasped in surprised as his lips covered hers again, kissing her soundly.

'Happy birthday to me,' she thought, happily, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Eternities seemed to pass before she forced herself to pull away (he was a damn good kisser, but she was only human and shit, she wished she didn't have to breathe) and when she finally opened up her eyes to look at him he was staring at her half-lidded, with a goofy grin plastered on his face. "Too innocent to make a move, huh?" He chided, pulling her into his lap.

She blushed brightly. "I... uh... erm..."

"Speechlessness," he told her, unearthing a small black box from his bag, "Sounds good on you. Turn around and close your eyes." 

She did so, and felt his hands brush against her bare shoulders. She shivered under his touch, and was about to ask him just what exactly he was doing when she felt something cold slide around the base of her neck. "You can open them now." 

"Oh, Gohan," she was determined not to become an inarticulate pile of goo this time, not when she had so much to say. She couldn't help but gape at the shining gold locket that now hung around her neck, and the lifted her fingers to softly graze the lone sapphire in the upper right hand corner.

Gohan beamed. Videl was obviously impressed with his present. He'd have to thank Bulma later. "I didn't put any pictures in it, I figured I should leave that to you. But, just in case, Bulma gave me these..." He pulled out his wallet and handed her a couple of small pictures of the two of them together from the past couple of months. "I didn't want to assume anything --"

"It's beautiful," she told him honestly, and took the pictures from him. "It's the best present I've gotten in years." She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and smiled when he blushed. 

"Well, I had help," he told her modestly, hoping she wouldn't ask for more details than that. If Lillia thought Vegeta was rough when he pulled -her- out of bed, she should have seen what he did to the guy in the jewelry store. It wasn't pretty.

"I have another locket at home, but I don't wear it anymore," Videl's voice softened, her eyes glassy. "My mother was supposed to give to me for my eighth birthday but..."

"But?"

"The policeman who brought her things in a little plastic bag to our door was the one who ended up giving it to me."

Gohan gaped at her. "If I would have known then I never would have -- "

Videl put her fingers to his lips. "Shush. I love your present, and I'm trying to tell you why my birthdays always suck." He kissed the tips of her fingers before she pulled them away, and the red shade of her face matched his nicely. "My mother was the Congresswoman for the Satan City district when I was little, and around the time of my birthday she was in the middle of planning her campaign for re-election. She was very stubborn, sometimes even more hotheaded than my father, and worked all hours of the night in order to finance and support her campaign.

"She was in her office on the night that my father was throwing my eighth birthday party. I begged and pleaded with her to be there, and she promised that she wouldn't miss it. Five o'clock, six o'clock; the hours passed by slowly and there wasn't any sign of her. It started to rain, and then hail, and suddenly the weather was so bad that when I looked out of my window I couldn't even see the Ferris wheel on the front lawn that my father had rented for the occasion. I was angry; it was birthday, where was she?

"The cop that came to our door at around midnight was an old family friend, a college buddy of my both of my parents, and the one thing I'll remember is the vacant look in his eyes when he handed my father my mother's personal belongings. Her watch, her wallet... a small silver locket with a picture of her on one side and me on the other; my birthday present. His expression never changed as he told my father that my mother was driving her capsule car on Highway 46 when a drunk driver crossed the meridian and hit her head on. She died on impact, there was no pain.

"My father fell apart quickly after that, and left me to pick up the pieces. We hired Miya, who became sort of a second mother to me, and life eventually went on. Dad threw himself into fighting, and, to sort of please him I guess, I did also. In that little girl way I was afraid if I didn't make him happy, he'd leave me too, just like my mother did." There they were, the tears she knew would come. They trailed down her cheek onto the empty plates, and hung her head. "Sorry."

Gohan gently raised his hand to wipe her tears away. "I know how you feel, Videl."

"I know, and that's why I had to tell you. Lillia, you know, the girl that works in the flower shop? Her family organized the floral arrangement for my mother's funeral, and that's how we became friends."

"I promise you that one day, I'll tell you about my dad. About all the times that he died. And maybe I'll even tell you about the time Vegeta died."

Videl laughed, shaking the remnants of tears from her eyes. "Too bad he didn't stay dead."

"We could only be so lucky," Gohan deadpanned, pulling her to him, hugging her. "We could only be so lucky."

---

"ACHOO!" 

"Bless you."

"Shut up boy, and keep training."

"Yes, Dad."

---

-**Note**-: For those of you that aren't familiar with Japanese culture, most Japanese hold the superstition that when you sneeze, someone's talking about you. ^^

-**Next Time on the Misadventures of Videl and Gohan-**: **Videl's Misadventures in Surprise Parties: **Gohan lures Videl to the penultimate surprise party at Capsule Corp., Trunks and Goten are cute and cuter, and Vegeta has a surprising annoucement for Videl. Oh, and Bulma spikes Gohan's punch. Needless to say, fun for all. Don't forget to sign up for our mailing list to know the exact second this chapter comes out. ^^


	8. Misadventures in Surprise Parties

-**Note**-: Although this story technically could fit into the 10 years in between Japanese episodes 288 and 289, it is now falling quite rapidly in into the AU area. Those of you that follow the Japanese versions probably know that after powering up to Mystic, Gohan can no longer become SSJ in fear of the pure energy destroying the planet. In this story, well... we don't care. For the purposes of this little Gohan/Videl get-together, the episodes after 288 didn't happen AND Gohan can still go SSJ without destroying us all. Kapish? ~ Management

-**Another Note**-: We've set up a mailing list in order to inform you, dear reader, when new chapters are going to be posted. All you have to do to subscribe is send an email to Sunyzangel143@aol.com, Re: G/V Mailing List. From then on, you'll be privy to when new chapters come out, snippets of future chapters (perhaps, if we feel especially giving), other recommended stories, etc. Believe us, it's worth it. 

- **Yet Another Note**- (I know, you're thinking, "Aren't they getting tired of these things?": We might have forgotten to mention it before, but the ownership rights of DBZ have yet to be turned over to us. In addition, there's significant pilfering of various works-that-are-Shakespearean in this chapter. Brownie points for identification; play, scene, speaker. XD

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The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Goten and Trunks)

By: CCS AnGeL00 

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Edited by and Co-written with: My 'Neechan Ilana (Absolut Angel)

****

Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks

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Chapter 7: Videl's Misadventures in Surprise Parties

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One household, abound with dignity; fair Capsule Corp., where we lay our scene.

The night sky was clear of clouds and starlight streamed down, illuminating the front lawn of Capsule Corp. The surrounding evening air was eerily silent, the last remnants of noise trailing behind the last guest that arrived at the Briefs' household, only minutes before. However, trails of bits and pieces of conversation from the main room of the inventor and Prince's home floated through the open picture window on the main floor, revealing the going's on inside.

"Trunks, untie Goten from those streamers this INSTANT YOUNG MAN!"

Did we say abound with dignity? Perhaps we were mistaken. 

"GOKU! Don't eat all the food! Better yet, don't eat ANY of it. The caterers almost had a hernia carrying food for a party of five-hundred here!"

"There aren't five-hundred people here, Mrs. Son."

"There may as well be." 

"Vegeta, what the hell do you mean you won't hide? That's the whole purpose of a surprise party, you royal pain in the ass!"

"What's surprising is the time you've wasted planning this abomination you call a `party' when you could be spending your time attending to more pressing matters, such as serving me dinner or making that loud-mouthed harpy stop shouting in my EAR, WOMAN!"

Hm. We were definitely mistaken.

"Who -talks- like that?"

"Would you dare to find out, low class brat?" 

"Ouch, that was my foot!" 

"Okay, put those platters on the last table. I hope I got enough food." 

"Dende knows the girl could use some fattening up." 

"I think she's perfect. OUCH! Okay, who HIT ME!?" 

"Sorry, arm spasm." 

"People, control yourselves, they'll be here any second." 

"Unless they made a pit stop to make out in some random -- OUCH! You hit me AGAIN!" 

"It's chronic arm spasms. Perhaps it's because I am chronically annoyed at morons like YOU!" 

"Please, Dende, let us get through this night without any blood shed."

"Why must everyone talk about me as if I weren't here?"

"Dende, shh. You're not supposed to -be- here!"

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Please continue as if I hadn't interrupted." 

"UNTIE ME NOW TRUNKS!" 

-**Group Sigh**-

Well, to which if you with patient ears attend, you might just see someone get killed. Fun for all, don't you agree? 

--- 

Elsewhere, toiling near the fair Capsule Corp., our favorite pair of star-cross'd lovers have just returned from a wonderful evening spent but in each other's company, miraculously finding it in themselves to -almost- resolve the romantic tension between them despite the deleterious effects that their continuance of their parent's rage -- or, whatever -- have had on them during the past couple of weeks. Oh, don't worry dear, reader, -this- pair of star-cross'd lovers don't take their life, or anything drastic like that. Well, Gohan might have -thought- about talking a life or two over the past couple of weeks, but it wasn't his own, that's for sure.

The two walked hand in hand down a long, narrow path that followed along the ocean shore. In another time it would have been the perfect opportunity to say something suave and romantic like, "In the moonlight, I see your eyes." However, due to unfortunate circumstances in the past couple of years, whether indirectly or directly related to Gohan, the moon had ceased to exist. Oh well, Gohan could find something even -more- romantic to say then.

"Hey, I have to pick up some Advanced Linear Algebra books that I left with Bulma at Capsule Corp. Care to join me?"

Or not. 

"I don't know," Videl started, looking towards the ocean. She sort of had a more romantic vision of what tonight was going to be like, and it might have included many things, but it DID not and WOULD not include the gang that was sure to be hanging around CC at this time of the day. 

"Please!? It's very important!" Gohan broke into a sweat, grasping for something to say that would entice Videl into following him. Maybe he could bore her into it! "I need to figure out complex beta derivates of vectors and the specifics of logarithmic matrixes --- " 

"Oh fine," Videl shook her dark head. Oh for the love of Dende, anything to shut him up. "There's no one around so we can just fl-- WHOA!" 

Before she had a chance to finish her statement, Gohan had already blasted off, still holding her hand, dragging the poor girl through the sky towards CC. Gohan was really kicking it; he kept checking his watch to make sure their ETA was the time Bulma had specified, and they looked to be right on schedule. The duo arrived at Capsule Corp. a short time later, Videl feeling like she was about to lose her lunch. "Where the hell did you learn to fly? I think I'm gonna be sick." 

"Excuse me, it's not like they offer lessons at Tokyo International," Gohan retorted, strolling down Capsule Corp.'s front walkway. Videl `hmphed' indignantly at his side, just wanting to get this little visit over with so they could go back to being star-crossed and romantic-like. 

They reached the main house and, with a quick glance through the front picture window, Gohan spotted Bulma waving wildly, signaling they weren't ready yet. In a lightening fast move, Gohan positioned Videl so that he was looking towards the door and she towards the house across the street as they loitered on the front steps. He cringed, realizing he was going to have to stall. Another glance through the window and he spotted his mother trying to untie his little brother from a plethora of streamers. Oh yeah, he was going to have to stall BIG TIME. He grasped for something, ANYTHING. Come -on- Gohan, he thought to himself, you`re supposed to be GENIUS.

"Videl. Have I told you lately how incredibly beautiful you are?" 

"Gohan, this really isn't the time..." Videl squinted her eyes at the young man. Gohan had actually said something complimentary and romantic to her without blushing, stuttering, or peer pressure. Aha, she concluded, he was hiding something. She might as well play along. 

"Actually, no, not lately." 

"Then I'll show you," Gohan murmured putting his hands on her face, bringing her closer. Videl gasped as Gohan positioned himself to kiss her on, of all people's, -Vegeta's- front steps. Oh, whatever he was hiding, it was really, really, BIG.

From inside Capsule Corp., the party planners had abandoned their last minute rush to finish decorating in order to shamelessly spy on the two fighters on the front steps. Goten struggled helpless as he continued to hang from the ceiling, wrapped in decorative red and white streamers.

"OH YEA! Go Gohan!" Krillin cheered softly, stringing up the last balloon. "Gohan always was an early learner." 

"That's the way to do it, son!" Goku grinned like, well, like a proud father. 

"Gohan..." Videl rose her chin towards him, putting her lips gently against his. 

"YES!" Bulma, Erasa and Chi-Chi cheered wildly. 

Videl broke off from the kiss looking puzzled. "Was that just--?" 

"No!" Gohan exclaimed, pressing his lips roughly against hers, making her squeak in surprise. He put his fingers through her short, silky hair not caring if his whole family could see. He felt himself turn red as he felt Videl's tongue subtly grazed his lower lip. 

"He's got his arms around her waist folks, we've got skin to skin contact here!" Marker announced the play-by-play from a couple of feet away. "It looks like he's going in for the kill and... YES! Son Gohan -scores- by apparently sticking his tongue in Videl's mouth. Or maybe it was the other way around. There is some -serious- tonsil hockey being played in this establishment tonight, folks. Perhaps Son will attempt to hit a homerun later this evening!"

Lillia groaned and smacked the light haired boy upside the head. "Shut UP, you moron! There are KIDS here!"

"Hello! Yes there is! And one of them is STILL HANGING FROM THE CEILING!" Goten screamed at the top of his lungs. His exclamation was mostly ignored in favor of what his big brother was doing. Hmph, typical. 

"Kissing with tongues? Ew! Gross!" Trunks blanched. 

"You'll understand once you get older Trunks," Yamcha laughed. "You might even like it!" 

"As much as you, Yamcha?" Trunks asked innocently 

"..." 

"I thought you had to get something important," Videl said breathlessly, once they had broken the kiss. 

"You're much more important," Gohan hugged Videl, glancing over her shoulder as Bulma gave the thumbs up to come in and lowered the lights in the main hall. "But let's go in!" He opened the door and he and Videl stumbled into complete darkness. Well, that was unexpected.

"Oh--" Where the hell -were- those stupid lights? 

"Um, Gohan?" Videl asked, gazing into the blackness. "Is there any particular reason you brought me to a darkened room? Where IS everyone? Don't people, you know, live here?" 

"UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW TRUNKS OR I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SORRY!!!" 

"I hope, for your sake, you can explain that one." 

From her hiding spot behind the couch, Bulma put her hand over her face to keep from laughing. 

"Erm... I'm trying to find the lights," Gohan explained weakly. Vegeta rolled his eyes at the idiocy of the half-breed that was obviously inherited from his twit father and turned on the lights from the other side of the room, shot a small ki blast at the streamers that were holding Goten up, and walked out wordlessly. 

"SURPRISE!" Everyone cried, rushing over to Videl.

"Ack!" Cried Goten, as he unceremoniously fell on top of the birthday girl. They bumped foreheads comically, and both crumpled to the floor. "Omigosh Videl, I'm SO sorry!" The crowd took two steps away from the girl and Gohan's little brother.

"Are you my present?" Videl teased, untying him from the streamers. "Lucky me! I can't believe you guys did this all for me," she continued, taking in the sight around her. Thirty or so of her closest friends littered the Briefs' front hall, arms full of presents and faces plastered with genuine smiles. The room was decorated festively in what was left of the red and white streamers that -weren't- tied to Goten, signs that proclaimed happy birthday, and balloons of every color. Where there wasn't a person to decoration, there was food. Lots of food. It seemed like Bulma -had- rented out a sushi bar. Or two. 

Goten grinned at Videl, still in awe at the scene around her, baring all of his cute, little teeth. Once he was untied, he glomped Videl unabashedly, wrapping his small arms around her neck. "Gohan wanted to throw you a party because he likes you a -lot- and so do we, so we helped!"

Videl looked over at Gohan fondly, who blushed a bright crimson. "It was nothing, really..." 

"So, what do you say we eat?" Bulma suggested, drawing attention away from her blushing surrogate son. "This crowd gets rowdy when they aren't fed." The blue haired woman guided most of the students over to the appetizer table and bar, letting Videl recover from her shocked state. 

"Food!" Goku bounced happily around the room, plucking various things from each of the food tables and shoving them quickly in his mouth. "Dear, sweet, lovable, scrumptious, tasty FOOD!" 

Chi-Chi shook her head and plucked her younger son from Videl's arms, and practically threw him at the sushi table. "Eat as much as you want, Goten, but don't tell me that you're hungry later!" 

"I can't believe you actually... I don't know what to..." Videl was still speechless. These people, who she had only just met a few months ago, already treated her as part of their family. She was deeply touched by this. She turned her head away from the Saiyan's devouring their food and concentrated on the pretty table cloth. It was so wonderful -- the food, the decorations, Gohan -- but she felt like something was -missing-. She looked around, and the Saiyan Prince was no where in sight. 

How odd. He was never one to miss a meal. 

"Hey," Erasa tapped her arm. "Why aren't you eating?" 

Videl put her hand to her stomach. "I'm not really that hungry. Besides, Trunks, Gohan, his dad, and brother eat enough for all of us, don't you think?" 

"You could say that again." 

A few moments and about 428 portions later... 

"That was -so- great!" Goku patted his stomach. "I don't think I could eat anymore." 

"You left the plates and table cloth amazingly," Krillin looked a bit sick. "To this day it amazes me how much you guys can EAT!" 

Bulma cleared her throat. "Let's open the presents, then we can eat cake." 

"CAKE!" Trunks and Goten cheered, as if they hadn't just eaten almost a hundred portions of food between them. Bulma gathered everyone into the living room where all the presents were stored. 

"Whose is first?" 

"Here, this is from me," Erasa said handing a bag over to Videl. "Use them wisely." 

Videl gazed pensively in the bag, her face turning very pale. "ERASA! What-- how-- when would I NEED THIS!?" 

Erasa patted her friend on the back. "It's better to be safe then sorry, don't you think?" 

"What's in the bag?" Yamcha asked, a smirk fighting to break out on his handsome face. 

"NOTHING!" Videl hissed, shoving the mysterious bag into her coat pocket. "You people are really trying to kill me aren't you!?" 

"What was in the bag?" Gohan whispered. Videl gestured for him to move closer, whispering rapidly into his head. "You use that to do WHAT?! Oh gosh, ERASA!" 

"Videl," Sharpner handed her a box. "I made these for you, I hope you like it." 

Videl opened the present to find at least fifteen minidisks, filled with her favorite songs and groups. "Thank you so much! Wow, this is great." She flipped through a few of them. "Barry White?" she managed to choke out. 

"He's cool," Sharpener revealed. 

"Right," Bulma coughed. "Well I guess it's my turn to give you a present." 

"Oh no Bulma, you did all of this for me. I can't ask for anything..." Videl looked up at the blue haired woman. "You've already done so much for me." 

"Well, it's not a material present really. Remember that time Trunks broke your cell phone?" 

"I said I was sorry! I mean it really -did- look like an alien pirate space ship!" Trunks protested. 

"Anyway, it only took you five minutes to fix the damn thing and it was in pieces! I was so impressed that I've decided to offer you a job here, at Capsule Corp.!"

While Bulma outlined the specifics of what Videl would be doing for her and the students milling around marveled at Videl's luck to be able to work at -THE- Capsule Corporation (Except for Marker, who exclaimed, "What kind of a birthday present is a -job-, anyway?") Videl's brain overturned the pros and cons of taking a job at Capsule Corp.:

`Pros: Might be able to figure out what I want to do with my life; Can make a little extra cash without having to ask Daddy; Have an excuse to be around Gohan more; Might actually be fun to hang out with Bulma...

Cons: It's -work-; Vegeta -lives- here; Vegeta -lives- here; Vegeta -LIVES- here...'

"Bulma, I don't know..."

"Well, -think- about it, dear." Bulma smiled, and turned her attention towards the teen-agers surrounding herself and Videl. "Who wants to give the next present?"

Videl found herself face to face with a multitude of various wrapped offerings. "ME!" They screamed in unison. Videl tossed a pathetic look to Gohan, who was busy helping Goten and Trunks (and his -father-) who were attempting to sneak a piece of birthday cake. He grinned at her, guiltily. 

Videl sighed, grabbing the first present, still mulling over the job offer. "Mine own fortune is my misery."

Bulma grinned sympathetically, pulling on arm around the younger girl. "Most fortune is, dear. Most fortune is."

---

A ridiculous amount of presents, cake and karaoke later, Videl found herself wandering the adjoining halls to Capsule Corp. in an attempt to escape the partiers. She could only stand to be the center of attention for so long before it become stale, and the number of people doting on her for the past two-and-a-half hours had the effect of making her sick. She hoped she would be able to corner Gohan somewhere and let her talk him into spending a couple of quality minutes together in a linen closet or something. She pinched the bridge of her nose. It was all Gohan's fault that her two most common trains of thought were him and kissing, and most frequently, together. 

She walked into the back kitchen slowly, and, seeing that it was empty, reached into the fridge and took a soda. She felt an unusual prickling at the back of her neck and noticed that there was something strangely familiar about that shadow on the far wall.

"Hey Sunshine, why are you lurking in the shadows?" Videl asked taking a sip of her drink. "Wait, I retract. You're always lurking somewhere. Forget it then. Why are you hiding?" She figured the Prince of the Saiyans would be somewhere waiting to be fed, and even though he was in the right room for it, he wasn't eating anything. Still. Very Strange.   
  
"You've made it another year, brat. What a pity," Vegeta purposely ignored her question, crossing his arms over his well-developed chest, moving out of the dimness and into the soft light near the kitchen table.  
  
"Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, Vegeta," Videl rolled her eyes. "Why did you come out at all? Don't you have some inferior civilization to conquer or some two-cent plan to beat up Gohan's father?"  
  
Vegeta growled at the jab, but was half pleased at her ability to hold a decent verbal sparring match with him. "Actually, I came to give you an offering on the memorial of the date of your unfortunate birth, you unappreciative little waif."  


"Really?" replied Videl dryly, ignoring the `waif' comment. "If it's so unfortunate, then why are you -offering- me anything?" 

Silence was her only reply, so she moved her arms across her own chest in a mirror of Vegeta's stance and glared at him. "I'm -waiting-."

"Even though you are an ungrateful, graceless whelp with inferior taste in companions, you are not a weakling like most of the other pathetic humans on this mudball you call a planet."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you just complimented me," Videl grinned from ear to ear to the distaste of the Saiyan Prince.

"Shut up while I'm talking girl, or you'll have to find another hole to speak out of for the remainder of your insignificant little life."

"Yes, Sir!"

"As I was saying prior to being interrupted by your impertinence, you are not as weak as the others, and I would --" he paused, thinking of how to phrase it, "I would like to see you attain your full potential."

Videl could only gape.

"And therefore," he finished smugly, in only a way that he could, "I am going to train you." 

"Are you -serious-? You're TRAINING me as a BIRTHDAY PRESENT!?"

"And I promise not to kill you. Happy Birthday," Vegeta waved his arm carelessly.  
  
Videl rolled her blue eyes deliberately. "Vegeta, you suck at giving presents."  


"I gave the woman some GREAT presents," The Prince replied.  
  
"Such as...?"  


"Trunks."

"I hope you kept the receipt," Videl deadpanned.

"Do you accept my offering, brat? I don't have all day, you know."

Videl leaned back against the kitchen counter. It was the second proposal offered to her this evening by a person in the Briefs' family, and while she was seriously contemplating Bulma's offer, some part of her wanted to jump at the chance to train with such a great warrior like Vegeta. She knew that her training would be rigorous and her instructor would be like being taught by the Jet Li From Hell, but it would be worth it, in the end, wouldn't it? Although she eventually wanted to settle down and have a family, she didn't want to let her talent go to waste. And she -knew- she had talent. She may never be as strong as Vegeta, or Gohan, or even Trunks and Goten -- she knew she didn't have the genetics for that, even if she had the determination -- but maybe if she worked hard enough, she could be as strong as Krillin was when he was her age. Or as he is now.

It was a dream for her, to explore all of her talents and gifts and reach her potential. And Vegeta was handing that dream to her on a silver platter.

Videl nodded slowly. "I will accept your offer, Vegeta."

Vegeta nodded curtly.  


"What offer?" Gohan asked walking into the kitchen. "You guys have been talking for awhile now."

"Jealous, half-breed?" Vegeta asked with a cruel grin, turning his attention towards the demi-Saiyan.

"Oh, stop it," Videl rolled her eyes again. "Vegeta said he would train me."

"Good one Videl," Gohan chuckled. "Really, what's going on?"  


"Really Gohan, that's it," Videl started looking annoyed.  


"No," Gohan said simply.

"Excuse me?" Videl blinked, wondering if she heard correctly.  


"You can't train with him. The idea is absolutely ludicrous."  


Vegeta decided that this was the prefect time for him to demand food, and not get involved with this petty little argument. He walked out of the kitchen briskly, only to walk straight into the person he was looking for. She jumped back in surprise and almost fell over, but was steadied by a pair of strong arms around her waist. He almost considered abandoning his hunger for food in order to take advantage of the way Bulma's body was pressed against his at that moment, but not only was his stomach about to mutiny, there were about thirty-teenagers in the front room that -may- not have appreciated such a display of affection. Not that he would have -cared- normally, but Bulma would certainly -not- have been happy, and when she wasn't happy... "Woman, I'm hungry."  


"Take food from the table by the window. I'll go into the kitchen to get more soda," Bulma said, agreeing easily with the Prince. She was feeling light hearted from all the teens and the merry occasion, not to mention the way her husband was holding her at the moment. She forced herself to back away from his embrace, turning to walk towards the kitchen.

"I wouldn't go in there."

"Why not?"

"WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Gohan's screech reverberated throughout Capsule Corp.

"That's why," Vegeta said, shoveling food on his plate.  


"Shh Gohan! Please, people are listening."  


"I DON'T CARE! HE COULD KILL YOU BY SNEEZING TOO HARD!"  


"I do not sneeze, brat. That's a pathetic human ailment," Vegeta called helpfully.

"That's not true, Dad. Just yesterday in the Gravity Room --" Trunks started, but was interrupted by a sharp slap upside the head.

"Shut your mouth, brat, or I'll shut it for you."

"Yes, Dad."

"VEGETA! STAY OUT OF THIS! Listen, this is for your own good," Gohan ran his hand through his hair and wished he had some more of the soda Bulma had given him before. For some reason, he was feeling a bit light headed, and most of what he was thinking rushed from his brain to his mouth, without the usual stop at the switching station to censor his thoughts.  


"You are not my father! You can't tell me what to do." Videl raised her voice slightly.

"I MAY NOT BE YOUR FATHER BUT I'M YOUR... SOMETHING!!!"  


"Oh, that's intelligent. Can we discuss this another time? Like, with less witnesses around?" Videl massaged her forehead.  


"I know why you -really- want to train with Vegeta!" Gohan's voice cracked.   


"To get better?" What the heck was getting into Gohan NOW?

"BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SPEND TIME ALONE WITH HIM! ISN'T THAT RIGHT!?"

"That's right Gohan, you caught me. I LOVE VEGETA! He's -so- sexy! Yes, that's right! Day by day, my master plan of seducing a man three times my age is getting closer and closer to fruition!" 

Thirty or so teenagers, a handful of adults and two pre-pubescent boys turned their attention from whatever they were doing towards the commotion coming from the general area of the kitchen. And they thought this party couldn't get any better!

"You, you somehow started this fight didn't you?" Bulma asked Vegeta back in the front room, poking him. "I know you did."

"I wasn't even here woman," Vegeta sniffed. "Besides, you started it when you spiked the half-breed's soda with rum."

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Chi-Chi screamed.  


"Oh and what about Yamcha? Shackin' it up with him too?" Gohan crossed his arms. "You don't even like me do you? In fact, you probably only hang out with me because you feel sorry for me, because I have no friends!"

"NOW YOU'RE PULLING THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS, SON GOHAN! YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU!"   


"YOU PROBABLY LIKE MY LITTLE BROTHER MORE!"   
  
"Oh, Gohan, GROW UP! He's EIGHT YEARS OLD!" 

"Isn't THAT convenient?"

"I don't have to take this from you," Videl put her hands on her hips. Her headache from the day before was returning at full force, and her vision was beginning to blur. She staggered dangerously close to Gohan, and balanced herself against his chest.

"OH YES YOU DO!" Gohan was indignant, but he was also feeling quite strange. He was -sure- that there were two Videls swimming in front of him. He blinked. Oh well, when he wasn't mad at her for trying to seduce his mother's best friend's husband, he'd deal with the fact that his girlfriend had multiplied. And the fact that she wasn't exactly his girlfriend, although she -had- kissed him with her tongue today. He shook his head. He'd have to deal with all of that stuff -later-. "YES, YOU DO!" He repeated, making his point clear, although he had already forgotten what he was talking about.

"OH NO I DON'T!" She punctuated each syllable with a blow to his chest. Gohan suddenly found himself trying to regain his balance from those light punches. He looked at his cup of punch suspiciously. What -was- in that, anyway? It had tasted a bit strange, but he didn't think anything of it at the time. Somehow, it was affecting his motor coordination.

"OH?" He screamed back at Videl, deciding to ignore the strangeness. "And WHY DON'T YOU?!"

The field of view in front of Videl when completely white. "Because I'm going to faint now!"

Vegeta's ears perked up at the last statement, and, in the blink of an eye, appeared behind Videl before she could hit the ground. 

Gohan blinked at the now unconscious girl, and then at Vegeta, who's face was stoic save for a small twitch in his upper eyebrow. His mouth turned up slightly in his trademark scowl as he glanced from the petite girl in his arms and then up to Gohan. "Well, well," he remarked, watching Bulma try to placate the crowd who had witnessed the bizarre scene, "I suppose it's my turn to take out the trash, eh?"

For never was a story more of woe; Ah, screw it.

--------  


-**Note**-: Ah, Drunk!Gohan. He may make a reappearance, so keep your eyes open.

-**Next Time on the Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**-: Videl's Misadventures in Sickness: Videl's reluctance to taking care of what could turn out to be a serious illness lands her in the hospital with an overreacting Chi-Chi, a guilty and hungover Gohan and a usually indifferent Prince. She's set to be released, but because of the dismissal of the staff at her house and the absence of her father, she's really got nowhere to go. Whatever will she do? Find out next time. ^^ Don't forget to sign up for our mailing list to be alerted the -second- the next chapter comes out.


	9. Misadventures in Sickness

-**Note**-: Although this story technically could fit into the 10 years in between Japanese episodes 288 and 289, it is now falling quite rapidly in into the AU area. Those of you that follow the Japanese versions probably know that after powering up to Mystic, Gohan can no longer become SSJ in fear of the pure energy destroying the planet. In this story, well... we don't care. For the purposes of this little Gohan/Videl get-together, the episodes after 288 didn't happen AND Gohan can still go SSJ without destroying us all. Kapish? ~ Management

-**Another Note**-: We've set up a mailing list in order to inform you, dear reader, when new chapters are going to be posted. All you have to do to subscribe is send an email to Sunyzangel143@aol.com, Re: G/V Mailing List. From then on, you'll be privy to when new chapters come out, snippets of future chapters (perhaps, if we feel especially giving), other recommended stories, etc. Believe us, it's worth it. 

-**Disclaimer-**: We don't own anything. Except Ilana is going to go buy that Saiyaman action figure the minute she gets home from school for Spring Break. Cause you can take his helmet off! And that's so cool! And Majin Vegeta! *drool*

-**Last Time-**: The gang threw a surprise party for Videl who was touched at the sentiment. Bulma and Vegeta both made Videl interesting propositions, Gohan got drunk, he and Videl got into a blazing row and Videl fainted. 

****

The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Goten and Trunks)

By: CCS AnGeL00 

****

Edited by and Co-written with: My 'Neechan Ilana (Absolut Angel)

****

Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks

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****

Chapter 8: Videl's Misadventures in Sickness

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Gohan was dreaming.

The young Saiyan was trapped between two solid walls of steel. With each second that passed, with each breath that he took, the two walls inched closer and closer to him, threatening entrapment if he couldn't find a way out. He was suddenly thrown against the back wall, and it was cold and course. Bracing himself for the impact with the front wall, he looked up in horror to find the ceiling was coming down upon him as well, dropping brutally upon his head over and over. Over and over.

Throbbing. His head was throbbing, pulsating with the warm blood that flowed through his cranial arteries and sinus cavities, beating to the rhythm of the walls turning in upon him, thrashing against his body. But the pain from his limbs was insignificant compared with that of his head, which he felt was going to explode.

"Gohan. Gohan, dear, please wake up," a familiar voice floated around the metal chamber and Gohan realized his eyes were closed. After the first attempt at opening them, he realized that it was mighty strange indeed that he couldn't master it on the first try. And when he did finally manage to pry them open, he was presented with a light so bright that it bordered on painful, and he was forced to close his eyes once again. And could someone please stop hitting him over the head with that mallet?

He raised his arm and rested his head in the crook of his elbow. Even with his eyes closed, it was much too bright. He groaned against his arm. He was apparently no longer in the metal torture chamber, but he WAS laying down on something just as hard, the bright light would not go away, and he had the mother FUCKER of all headaches. And he had a horrid taste in his mouth.

Was he dead?

He certainly hoped not. He had a list of things he needed to do before he died that ranged from finally disproving Einstein's theory of relativity to losing his virginity, although neither of those prospects looked promising at the moment. Although he HAD seen, over his lifetime, almost every law of physics broken, stretched, exaggerated or shattered, the scientific world would probably not appreciate his three-hundred page thesis on why gravity could be defied, time could be manipulated at will, and energy could be expelled from the body as a physical manifestation of force and light.

And that virginity thing. Forget about that. After the way he acted the night before, he doubted Videl would ever --

He bolted up from the chairs he was lying across, and opened his eyes wide. Big mistake.

  
"OH SHIT!" 

The patrons in Satan City General Hospital's emergency room turned towards Gohan, who, at that moment, looked like he had seen better days. There were dark circles under his squinted eyes and his hair was in complete disarray. His clothes were wrinkled and disheveled from spending the last three or so hours sleeping across four concrete emergency room chairs.

"Oh look," a dry voice commented from somewhere to his left, but since he had to close his eyes from the onslaught of the bright, hospital illumination, he could only guess that it was Vegeta from the smug, cultured tone and biting sarcasm. "The drunken wonder has awoken."

Gohan groaned and opened his mouth to speak, but found that his mouth worked about as well as his eyes did at the moment. "Where --" his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before trying again. "Where am I?"

Bulma sighed in relief. "You're in Satan General, Gohan. You have -- ah -- a bit of a hangover, so you should take it easy for a while before you --"

  
"This is all YOUR fault, Bulma!" Gohan heard his mother screech as he tried to digest the information that was just supplied. He was in the hospital, but he wasn't IN the hospital, as far as he could gather. One, he would have a much softer bed; two, he really didn't think he had gotten THAT drunk; and three, visitors would be limited. Now that he was teetering in the land of the conscious, he began to pick up bits and pieces of _ki _around him, although faint, and he deduced that that he, Bulma, Vegeta, his parents and brother, Trunks _and _Piccolo were currently in attendance. Which meant only one thing.

"Where. Is. Videl?" Gohan, for all of his fatigue and blinding headache, stressed the syllables with a cold calm that surprised even Vegeta, whose right eyebrow began to twitch, the closest to expression emotion that the Saiyan Prince was going to get amongst these prattling fools.

"Since it is apparent your recollection has gone the same way of your sobriety, let me REMIND you of what came to pass. Five hours ago when you and the girl were carrying on in my kitchen with your pointless, drunken chatter, her _ki _dropped significantly and she lost consciousness. No doubt it was a better alternative to listening to your babbling. Certainly, I would have done the same thing," Vegeta offered, smacking Gohan upside the head. He flinched in pain. "Now stop being a complete wimp and get your lazy ass up this instant."

He sat up slowly, ignoring the nagging feeling in his stomach that was sending harsh messages to his brain, all not telling a very promising story. He instantly regretted the fifty-three tuna rolls from the night before. "Where is she?"

Bulma put her hand on Gohan's shoulder and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his face. She smiled softly. She could hardly believe that this was the same Son Gohan who showed up thirteen years ago at the old pervert's house on Kame Island, three feet tall and cute as sin, long brown tail swirling around behind him. His genuine smile and enthusiasm had been such a breath of fresh air during those tumultuous years. First Radditz. Then Nappa and Vegeta. Namek. Freiza. Androids. Cell. Buu. He'd seen so much, been through more in his short time than most people would see in two lifetimes. He'd had to work, fight, and sacrifice his entire life and he deserved a bit of happiness now. He deserved someone like Videl, who was a perfect compliment to his shyness and introversion. Someone that could kick his ass when he got out of line. Someone that could kiss him when he was sad and forgive him when he did something stupid. Someone that was brilliant and beautiful and accepting. Someone like Videl.

The more Bulma reflected, the more she came to the realization that she and Videl were a lot alike. They both were intelligent and strong women who knew what they wanted and went after it at all cost. She knew that Videl had her doubts about Gohan, but any woman who is about to get involved with a Z warrior was bound to have their misgivings. Bulma grinned to herself. She should know. She had her fair share of stories to tell on _that _subject. Maybe one day she'd tell Videl the tale about how she and Vegeta managed to get together. If Videl thought that her relationship with Gohan was confusing, she would really get a kick out of _that _little anecdote.

"She'll be fine. They admitted her about twenty minutes ago, and we can see her as soon as they're done examining her," Bulma told Gohan gently. "From the preliminary tests they done, they've hypothesized that's its a fairly severe case of pneumonia, so they're conducting a couple of more tests to be certain. The doctor told us he would come and retrieve us once we were able to see her."

He groaned and put his head in his hands. "This really is all my fault. She got all worked up because I acted like a complete moron last night."

Goku detached himself from his wife, who was screaming about the incompetence of doctors with an occasional insult for Bulma for spiking Gohan's punch, and plopped himself down in the chair next to his son. "You know," the kind Saiyan started, not quite sure how to voice what he wanted to say. "Maybe... Maybe if you told Videl how you felt about her, you could avoid this kind of thing from happening again."

Gohan looked up at his father in mild surprise. Had he just said something... insightful? "She knows how I feel, Dad."

"Have you actually come out and told her?"

Gohan blinked. "Well... no... but..."

Goku laughed. "Gohan, your mom practically had to kick my ass before I realized that she wanted me to tell her that I loved her."

"What?! I don't love her!" Gohan flailed his arms wildly, almost hitting Trunks and Goten who were sleeping, draped over one another, in the chair behind him. The two little ones were actually quite angelic when sleeping, barring the fact that every so often one would unconsciously punch the other. On one such occasion, Trunks had pelted Goten so hard that the little mini-Goku had almost fallen off the chairs, only to be rescued at the last second by his father, who placed him gently back where he was.

And Goten hadn't even flinched, let alone awoken. Well, like father like son, they always say.

Goku turned back to his older son, who was still flailing. "Really! I like her a lot!"

"Gohan, you accused her of having an affair with VEGETA! Come ON."

The younger Saiyan frowned. "I suppose that was a bit over the line."

Vegeta snorted from a couple of feet away. "At bit? Perhaps you've been adding recreational drugs to your repertoire along with studying at the library and going out on dates. Although I do admit that it must be hard for any woman to resist the allure of a prince, I would hardly condescend myself to mate with a mere girl."

Bulma poked her husband hard in the ribs, her blue eyes blazing with anger. "I'm glad that's the only reason, you insufferable jerk." 

She yelped when he wrapped a strong arm around her and pulled her to him in a rare display of public affection. He glanced down at the blue haired woman tucked neatly under his shoulder with a smirk on his face. "And I've already got one wretched woman to deal with. I hardly need another."

Goku smiled at his two friends -- Vegeta would insist that he is not, was not, and would never be a friend of Kakkarot, but Goku would always think of him that way -- and then at his son. He clasped his hand on Gohan's shoulder. "Tell her, Gohan. Then maybe your mother and Bulma will leave the two of you alone."

Gohan glanced at his mother, raving to a random nurse about the welfare of Videl. "What do you MEAN she's not conscious yet? Isn't this a HOSPITAL? For Dende's sake, would you people DO SOMETHING? That's my son's FUTURE BRIDE in there!"

Gohan, Goku, Bulma and even Vegeta sweatdropped. "Somehow," Gohan replied morosely, "I doubt it."

"Mrs. Briefs? Mr. Son?" A nurse that wasn't being yelled at approached the group. "Videl Satan is all set up in room 306B in the West Wing. She should be waking up any moment, so if you'd like to, you can go up to see her now."

Gohan nodded and stood up, managing to keep himself upright. He still had a bitch of a hangover, but as long as Videl was feeling better, nothing else mattered. Nothing else mattered at all.

««««

"... a bad case of pneumonia. Severely dehydrated. Should have come in earlier..."   
  
"... stubborn teenage girl!"   
  
"... hospital food isn't so bad."   
  
"... the only thing you think about?!"   
  
"... other things like fighting and sleeping."   
  
"... let her die."   
  
"... NOT GONNA DIE!"   
  
Videl felt herself falling. She wasn't sure from where, or where to, but she was falling and fast. She felt herself stop, and a bright white light shone brightly in front of her. A tunnel of white light actually. She opened her eyes slightly to see someone... green. Oh yes, this person was definitely of the jade variety. Was it Dende? Hm, wasn't there a whole process she had to go through before she got to see God? Well, she -had- died before, so maybe she got a "Go Directly to Heaven, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Dollars" card or something and got to skip right to the end of the procedure.   
  
So, she had gone to heaven. Where was her mom? Where were all the mini-Vegetas waiting on her hand and foot? She turned slightly and forced herself to open her eyes. She frowned in disappointment when she saw a normal sized Vegeta. And he wasn't asking her if she'd like a little umbrella in her pina collada. And It was Piccolo, not Dende, glaring at the nurses who tried to admit him into the hospital.   
  
"You look a bit... unripe sir."   
  
"I ALWAYS LOOK THIS WAY!" Piccolo screamed at the nurses, who shrank away in surprise. He turned to look thoughtfully at Videl when he realized that she had woken up. "She's already in the hospital and she hasn't even started training with Vegeta yet."   
  
Guess she wasn't in heaven.   
  
"Videl!" Gohan jumped to her side, putting her hand gently between his.   
  
On second thought...   
  
A small man dressed in a white lab coat entered Videl's field of view. He pulled her chart out from the front of her bed and nodded, seemingly to himself, and placed the chart back. "Miss Satan, I'm Doctor Kintarou. Do you know where you are?"

She rolled her eyes at him and glanced towards the countless machines and IVs hooked up to her left arm. He took that as a yes. "You were admitted to Satan General four hours ago, severely dehydrated and unconscious. Your fever was incredibly high, but we've been able to bring it down with an antibiotic solution, which is what is currently dripping through that IV there. We conducted various tests, including an X-ray, while you were unconscious and we've determined that you have a severe case of pneumonia As you probably already know, it's a serious infection or inflammation of your lungs. The air sacs in the lungs fill with pus and other liquids. Oxygen has trouble reaching your blood. If there is too little oxygen in your blood, your body cells can't work properly. This is the primary reason why you lost consciousness. Frankly, it's a miracle you aren't in a coma right now.

"Usually people with pneumonia complain of severe chest pain and although it doesn't look like you've been in much pain, it's clear you've been very uncomfortable. The second IV is pumping Vicadin for the pain. As soon as you're feeling better we'll take you off the intravenous pump and prescribe capsules instead, which you should continue to take until the pain dissipates. Are you feeling any better?"  
  
Videl tried to reply, but found no sound came out. She grabbed her throat instinctively and looked up at the kind doctor. "You also seem to have a mild case of laryngitis. We recommend throat lozenges and cough syrup for that, with an acetaminophen such as Tylenol for your fever. You should also use a humidifier at home to circulate cold, moist air. Also write notes when you want to communicate; whispering strains the vocal chords as much as screaming does. Drink lots of cool or warm, clear fluids, avoiding iced drinks; dress warmly and avoid exposure to extreme cold weather; don't drink alcoholic beverages; and get plenty of rest." He narrowed his eyes are her. "PLENTY of rest, Miss Satan. This city is grateful for you and your friend Saiyaman for upholding justice, but for the next two weeks you're going to let the Satan City Police handle all the work. There will be no martial arts, no training, no exercising and NO strenuous activity of any kind or you won't get better. Do you understand?"

  
Videl slumped over in her bed. This was going to be a -fun- couple of days. No talking, no training, no nothing!   
  
"Oh, the brat isn't dead. What a pity," Vegeta drawled.   
  
Videl gave him a look that plainly said, 'What are you doing here -anyway-?'   
  
"Stop it Vegeta," Gohan glared at the short man. "That's a really terrible thing to say."   
  
"Really, I would think by now your bedside manners would have improved," Bulma shook her head. "I had hoped you would have become more of a pleasant person to be around but miracles are few and far between in this family... Remember how long it took for Trunks to stop wetting the bed?"   
  
"You're kidding!?" Goten looked at Trunks who was bright scarlet. "How long exactly Bulma?"   
  
"MOOOOOOM!"   
  
Goku shuddered as a nurse walked into the next room, a small needle in hand to draw blood from a young man who broke his elbow. "Is that--?"   


Vegeta raised his eyebrow at the younger, third class warrior. Ah. He'd almost forgotten about Kakkarot's insane fear of needles. Heh. Almost. Vegeta glanced out the door of Videl's hospital room, speaking as though someone was right outside. "Is that so?" He voiced loud enough so all of the visitors present, especially Kakkarot, could hear. "All visitors have to get vaccinated immediately? The needles are how big? Two _meters_, you say?"   
  
Vegeta turned around and glanced at Goku, who was turning a very nice shade of blue. He smirked at his nemesis, who has, in the past, defeated the most evilest and vilest of disgusting creatures but could not stand to be in the same room with a simple syringe. Serves him right for having such a childish weakness. "Something wrong, Kakkarot?"   
  
Goku jumped into his wife's arms. "Chi!!! Don't make me get a shot! WAHHHHHH!!"   
  
Pathetic.   
  
"VEGETA!" Bulma scolded. "Jeez... behave yourself! I can't take you anywhere."   
  
Chi-Chi nearly collapsed under the weight of her husband. "Goku, dear, do you think that maybe you could... GET OFF OF ME?!"   
  
Videl rolled her eyes. These people would never change. She shifted uncomfortably in the stiff bed, adjusting her IVs as not to freak out Goku any further. She glanced at the tall machine that took her blood pressure every fifteen minutes and realized that indeed, in the last fifteen minutes, her blood pressure had risen over thirty systolic and diastolic points. These people didn't just want to let her die. They wanted her to _suffer _first.   
  
Goten's dark head popped by the side of Videl's bed. "Videl, I didn't want you to get lonely when we leave so I brought you Mr. Pooky to keep you company," he handed her a small, stuffed monkey, worn from years of use. "Mommy gave him to me when I was little and I couldn't fall asleep without him. But I don't need Mr. Pooky anymore 'cuz I got Trunks!"   
  
Videl watched in amusement as Piccolo almost fell over, the vein in Vegeta's forehead throbbed, Chi-Chi looked sick, Gohan rubbed the bridge of his nose and Goku kept muttering something about keeping him away from the needles and mean nurses.   
  
Videl grabbed a sheet of paper and pen from the table and scribbled quickly, *Thank you Goten. Maybe you should be a little more careful about what you say around the adults, okay? We don't need them ending up here anytime soon.*   
  
The doctor cleared his throat, thankful that his pager just beeped. "Well, get plenty of rest Videl. I'll see you when you are released tomorrow. By the way, who's going to be taking you home? Your father?"   
  
Videl hadn't thought of this. Her father was out of town and Miya was visiting relatives. That could only mean --  
  
"We'll take her home of course," Chi-Chi chirped. "She'll be staying with us so that we can nurse her back to health. Isn't that right Gohan?"   
  
'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Videl screamed in her mind, disappointed that it did not have the same affect as it would if she were screaming out loud. There was no WAY that she could sleep at the Sons! What if she had to take a shower? What if Gohan caught her half naked? What if Chi-Chi tried to take her shopping once she got better? Videl flailed her arms rapidly, trying to get Gohan's attention.   
  
"Of course," Gohan said turning to her, giving her that smile that have turned lesser girls into slobbering puddles. But not her. She would not give in to the infamous Gohan grin. She would not. She was stronger than that. But then he blinked down at her, baring his perfect, white teeth. She felt her stomach give a tug, and then she melted completely. Damn that gorgeous boy.  
  
'Just because you won this battle, does not mean you've won the war,' Videl fumed. Using the Son SmileÔ to manipulate her teenage hormones into giving in was a dirty battle tactic that was beyond low. If it was a war she wanted, a war she would get. Hmmm, she remembered some sign language that she learned a few years back in junior high. Someone was bound to recognize them, right?   
  
Videl quickly signed, "Don't let them take me."   
  
The corner of Trunks mouth curved slightly and he say Videl trying to sign something frantically. "Hey! I learned some sign language at school. I know this! Let's see," he squinted his blue eyes cutely at her erratic hand movements. "Videl says that monkeys can't dance."   
  
Videl looked at Trunks strangely, repeating her signs. "Oh, now she says she wants spandex battle armor to match Dad's, " Trunks glanced at Gohan, a most wicked smile across his young, handsome features. "Then she said that she loves Gohan very much."   
  
Gohan felt his face heat up, and looked down at the floor.   
  
Videl almost jumped out of the bed, but remembered she was attached to every machine in the room. She quietly stewed in her anger.   
  
"Some wars," Piccolo whispered down to her quietly, "You just have to surrender quietly."   
  
««««  
  
Videl couldn't believe her luck. First, this whole pneumonia thing. Now that she was thinking about, she HAD been pretty sick lately. But she'd been so happy with her relationship with Gohan that she hadn't really had time to pay attention to what her body was telling her. No matter; being sick was only the beginning. Now, she was getting taken hostage by do-gooder aliens and mothers that wanted her to take out a subscription to bridal magazines AND they took away her paper to make sure she couldn't communicate at all. Something about straining herself and learning how to take it easy. If she tried to sign, Trunks would just misinterpret it (on purpose, she was sure) and make it out like she was saying perverted and weird things. She closed her eyes. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep, they would leave. She opened them again. She wanted to Gohan to stay at least. She squeezed Mr. Pooky once for comfort and found it strangely helpful.   
  
"Hey Goten, wanna have a wheelchair race?" Trunks whispered to the dark haired clone of Goku. "Let's see if we can break the sound barrier this time!"   
  
Goten blinked once at his best friend, and then grinned wickedly. "Okay!" And with that, the two demi-Saiyans skipped out of the room.   
  
"Why don't we go to the cafeteria?" Chi-Chi nudged Bulma, ignoring the fact her son was probably about to run over some poor unsuspecting patient. It was time to give Gohan time to apologize, and he BETTER apologize, or he would have to face her frying pan later. He'd certainly made a fool of himself the night before, and if he ever wanted to get Videl to marry him, he was going to have to own up to his mistakes. "Bulma, NOW."

  
"Sure Chi, sounds great," Bulma pulled her husband by the arm. "Let's go."   
  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow and pried Bulma's hands off of him, but walked out of the hospital room anyway. "Woman, I take orders from no one. Besides," he added, smiling devilishly at Goku, "we can't eat until we get those new and improved _mega_injections."   
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Goku practically flew out of the door, with the other adults following suit. Piccolo looked at Gohan once, before leaving as well. Which left our favorite couple, alone. For once.   
  
"I'm glad you're okay. I was really worried," Gohan said softly, sitting in the chair by her bed. She looked so small, and sick... and it was all his fault. He frowned. "I want to apologize for my behavior last night. I know it was the alcohol talking, but that didn't give me the right for me to accuse you of those terrible things. I guess the thought of you with someone else-- I mean..." Gohan shook his head. "I'm so awkward with words sometimes. I guess, what I'm trying to say... is the same thing I've been trying to say the whole time... I... uh... well... you see... its like this... I... well..."   
  
"Oh for the love of all that is good and holy," A deep voice drawled from the doorway. "The brat -likes- you, although I must admit that I can't fathom why. He's as inept with words as he is with everything else, it seems. Must inherit it from that whimpering fool over there." Vegeta glowered at his adversary, who was in the process of cowering from a nurse carrying a set of syringes from a storage room.  
  
"No needles! No no no no no!!!" 

Videl glared at Vegeta for ruining her moment and then smiled up at Gohan, whose cheeks were as flaming she was sure hers were. Here she was, sick as hell and lying in a hospital bed, looking like shit and feeling worse, and the boy that she liked was -trying- to tell her that he liked her also. At least, she hoped that's what he was trying to say. She motioned for him to bring her the pen and paper, and wrote frantically.

*Is that what you're trying to say?*

Gohan looked like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were comically wide and he could feel himself shaking. But he'd resolved to do it, and once he put his mind to something, he did it. He nodded once uncertainly at Videl and then again with more confidence. He'd show Vegeta how inept he was with words. "I know we've only been out a couple of times but... I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't think you are either, because you spend most of your time with me, so unless you're going out with another guy between the hours of midnight and eight in the morning, I think I'm right. Am I?  


Videl nodded, wondering just where the cute Saiyan was going with his speech.

"So," he reached for her hand and held it in his own. His heartbeat was accelerating so fast, and damned if it wasn't up by his throat by now. He felt around absently for _ki _signatures and realized that Vegeta had left his position by the door to beat the crap out of his father. Thank goodness for small miracles. He lowered his voice to a whisper anyway. "I think we should keep it that way."

Videl grinned brightly and Gohan felt his insides churn, and this time it wasn't from the alcohol. She let his hand go reluctantly and picked up the pen and paper once more.

*Son Gohan, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?*

Gohan gulped, and nodded.

Videl pursed her lips as if she was thinking about it, and then wrote lazily on the paper in front of her, *I'm sorry Gohan. I can't.*

His eyes bugged out comically and Videl -almost- regretted what she was about to do to him. But no one, NO ONE was allowed to accuse her of being in love with VEGETA. That was practically blasphemy! VEGETA! Uch. Not only was he arrogant, hotheaded, temperamental and MARRIED, but he was THREE TIMES HER AGE and COMPLETELY not her type. Hmph. *I'm in love with someone else,* her neat script wrote the words that flowed across the page and broke Gohan's heart.

Seriously. He could feel his heart break into a million pieces, detach from his circulatory system and land with a thump on the hospital floor, pouring out an ocean of blood from his punctured arteries. His fingers shook with disappointment and anger and he couldn't look at Videl in the face, which was a shame because if he did, he would have certainly seen this amusement flickering across her azure-colored eyes. "Who," his voice cracked and he cursed inwardly. Didn't he do this puberty thing a couple of years ago? Damn hormones. "Who is it?"

Her handwriting was beautiful. It was elegant and fluid, but also had a certain something that was just so -- so Videl. Once he got out of this hospital, he would find the boy that she was talking about and threaten to kill him if he didn't take good care of her. Because if he didn't get to be the person that loved her, he'd make sure that the person that did treated her right. Or they'd have Son Gohan to answer to.

*It's Vegeta.*

THIS time Gohan DID stand up, throwing the chair behind him in rage. "ARE YOU SERIOUS? I don't BELIEVE this, Videl! How COULD you?!" His eyes were so clouded over with anger that he almost didn't see her shoulders begin to shake. He blinked at her. Twice. Was she crying?

She beckoned him over to her and he almost refused, just out of principle. Here he was, confessing his undying lo -- erm -- LIKE for her, and she goes and tells him that she's in love with VEGETA?! The Monkey Prince from Hell?! His mother's best friend's husband! Someone that used to be his Dad's MORTAL ENEMY?! Who still THINKS of himself that way?

It was the ultimate betrayal.

He was jealous that Vegeta saw in Videl all the things that HE saw in her and he resented the fact that Vegeta was going to be taking up all of her time when he started to train her, but really, he wasn't SERIOUS when he suggested that Videl was actually ATTRACTED to him! Gohan really did think that Videl was sort of, kind of, maybe liked him a little. She flirted with him and those kisses... DENDE. She even spent all that time with Gohan and his family and who would voluntarily want to spend a day around his house?

He peered down at the paper that Videl was trying to shove in his face. *Gohan, I'm KIDDING. CHILL.*

Gohan grabbed her wrists gently, letting the paper float down onto the bed. He looked up at her face, which had a huge smile plastered across it, and he realized that if she had her voice, she'd be laughing at him. He let out a breath, and with it all the anger he'd been feeling at the situation. He brought the smaller girl to him gently (as not to disturb all the wires around her) and kissed her forehead. "I guess I deserved that, huh?"

She nodded gravely. *Besides,* she wrote as Gohan sat next to her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her, *If I was going to be in love with anyone THAT much older than me, it would definitely be your dad. No question.*

"Videl! You nearly gave me a coronary, are you trying to give me a stroke also?! Geez. Cut me a little slack, will you?" He positioned himself behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder so he could see what she was writing in front of her. He slid one hand from around her waist and grabbed the pen. She looked up at him in surprise, but all he did was smile at her.

*Will you let me be the guy that gets to say he's your boyfriend?* He wrote, pulling her closer to him with his other hand. -If she says no now, I'll absolutely die-, Gohan thought as she took the pen from him and touched it to the paper.

*Alright. But just so you know... I'm only using you to get to your dad.*

"VIDEL! I swear you're going to kill me one of these --"

But he couldn't finish his sentence because she was already kissing him.

««««  


He wouldn't let her fly; he said that it took too much of the energy that was fighting off the bacterial infection. That was how Videl ended up cradled in the arms of her boyfriend -- her BOYFRIEND -- as they made a couple of detours from the hospital before they ended up back at the Son's. They'd flown into Videl's bedroom window so she could pick up her laptop and a capsule of clothes and other necessities for the next ten days, and then into the West Capital to fill her prescriptions of antibiotics and painkillers, and pick up a bottle of aspirin.

He knew that she wasn't exactly thrilled about staying with his family, but in reality she didn't have much of a choice. Besides, his mother had been taking care of the worn, battered and beat up for most of her life and Chi-Chi thrived on the fact that she was needed and could do some good. The only thing he was worried about was that she would go overboard, which was entirely a possibility.

Okay, he amended as he carried Videl over the threshold of his front door, definitely a possibility. -I'll have to tell Mom to take it easy. Videl hates being fawned over.-

  
"Oh, VIDEL!" Chi-Chi rushed towards the two before they even had a chance to take their shoes off. "How do you feel? Is your temperature down? Are you in any pain?" She glared at Gohan, who was merely blinking at her. "Well? Don't just STAND there, young man! Get her into the guestroom this instant! Make sure she has plenty of blankets and pillows and anything else she wants. She's practically part of this family and she'll have nothing but the BEST!"

Videl clutched her capsules and Gohan smacked himself. "Mom, Videl is feeling a lot better. They kept her for two days and now she just needs a little peace and quiet while she recovers." He clasped her hand and led her towards the back of the house. "I'll have her settled in, and then you can check on her after dinner, okay Mom?"

"You'll bring her dinner in bed, of course."

"Right."

Videl scribbled something hastily on her pad and tossed the note to Chi-Chi before disappearing with Gohan towards the back of the house. The Son matriarch clutched the paper to her chest after reading it, her eyes sparkling with delight.

  
*Thank you so much for doing all of this for me, Chi-Chi. It makes me really feel like part of your family, and I might never be able to express all the gratitude that I feel. Thank you for being like a mother to me. -Videl*

"Oh, what a wonderful daughter-in-law!"

««««

"Before Dad died, we only had the front extension of the house and no indoor plumbing," Gohan explained as he opened the door to the guestroom. It was painted a bright blue, with wonderfully beautiful oak furniture and humongous picture windows adorning two of the far walls. The setting sun streamed through the glass panes, painting the room with its red and yellow rays. A small television sat on a metal stand across from the bed and a cordless black phone sat on the dresser. "But when Bulma found out that my mom was pregnant with Goten, she had this room built for her and insisted she have indoor bathrooms installed in here and in the front. She knew my mother wasn't going to have it easy, raising Goten without my dad, and she wanted to make it as comfortable as possible for her.

"Bulma actually wanted my mom to move out of here and into Capsule Corporation with her and Trunks. After my dad died, Vegeta had departed for places unknown, and Bulma knew that my mother was feeling as despondent as she was. But mom refused to leave the place that my father had built for her; I guess it was her last ties to him, except of course, for me and Goten who was on the way. She never really anticipated how much Goten would look like him. Sometimes I thought it was hard for her to even look at him -- Goten reminded her so much of Dad when he was young. If you see pictures of my dad when he was younger, you'll see that he and the little guy could have been twins if they were born around the same time."

Videl nodded happily, glad to be getting a piece of Gohan's history, no matter how small. He was really reluctant to talk about his past with her and she was happy that he was secure enough with her now to discuss some of it, if only a little. He put her computer on the desk next to the bed and threw open the capsule of her medication, which he also lined up on the desk. He beamed at her when she opened the capsule with her clothes and started to put them neatly away in the room's dresser.

She was so neat and organized, just like him.

"This room was actually supposed to be for Goten," explained Gohan, as he retreived extra blankets and pillows from the linen closet and spread them on the bed. "But as soon as Goten was out of the crib, he couldn't fall asleep unless I was in the room. So that's how Goten and I ended up sharing a bedroom when there's a perfectly good bedroom back here. So, I think that's it. Are you tired? Those painkillers should be kicking in any second. Lay down, okay?" 

Videl nodded and settled herself in the bed. The painkillers were working wonders for the pain in her chest, and she could feel herself getting drowsier as they spoke. The discomfort she'd felt the past two days merely breathing was disappearing by the second.

Gohan walked over to her and placed a light kiss on her forehead. "You should sleep for about three hours. I'll bring you something to eat then, if you're hungry. If you need anyone, just use this," he placed a small bell next to her pillow. "I'll try to be the one that comes to check on you, because I know how my mother gets. But -- if she does come, try to humor her. It's been awhile since she had someone to take care of."

Videl nodded and reached for her trusty writing materials. *I understand, Gohan. It's been awhile since I had a mother to take care of me.* She put her head on the pillow and soon her breathing was slow and even, in a deep sleep.

Gohan brushed a piece of hair from the sleeping beauty's forehead. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Videl. Maybe one day I'll actually have the guts to tell you that when you aren't sleeping." He turned, turned off the light, walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind him. "I think I already have fallen in love with you," he corrected to himself, leaning against the doorframe. "I can only hope that one day you'll come to feel the same way about me... if you don't already."

In her sleep, dreaming of kisses and Gohan and undying love, Videl smiled.

««««

-**Note**-: Gohan got a clue! Can you believe it, dear reader? Don't worry, it doesn't last.

-**Soundtrack for this chapter**-: Darren Hayes, _Insatiable_; Hayashibara Megumi, _Successful Mission_; Savage Garden, _To the Moon and Back_.

-**Next Time on the Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**-: Videl's Misadventures in Cabin Fever and the World's Weirdest Bedtime Stories: Videl's stuck at the Son's, under the influence of painkillers for far too short of a time. Chi-Chi's the obsessive/compulsive nurse from hell; the gang comes over to take turns keeping Videl company; Goten tells Videl the weirdest story in history, combining the truth, Dr. Seuss and other various things ("And then Future Trunks landed in his spaceship and said, 'Take me to your leader!'") and Gohan's gloating like a little kid after finally getting a clue and asking Videl out. Ah. Saiyans in love. How cute. Will Videl survive? Find out next time! Don't forget to sign up for our mailing list to find out the minute the next chapter is posted!


	10. Misadventures in Cabin Fever

-**Note**-: Although this story technically could fit into the 10 years in between Japanese episodes 288 and 289, it is now falling quite rapidly in into the AU area. Those of you that follow the Japanese versions probably know that after powering up to Mystic, Gohan can no longer become SSJ in fear of the pure energy destroying the planet. In this story, well... we don't care. For the purposes of this little Gohan/Videl get-together, the episodes after 288 didn't happen AND Gohan can still go SSJ without destroying us all. Kapish? ~ Management

-**Another Note**-: We've set up a mailing list in order to inform you, dear reader, when new chapters are going to be posted. All you have to do to subscribe is send an email to Sunyzangel143@aol.com, Re: G/V Mailing List. From then on, you'll be privy to when new chapters come out, snippets of future chapters (perhaps, if we feel especially giving), other recommended stories, etc. Believe us, it's worth it. 

-**Disclaimer-**: Do we _look _like Akira Toriyama? 

-**Last Time-**: Gohan actually got a clue and told Videl how he feels about her -- kinda. Videl got released from the hospital and was promptly abducted by Chi-Chi, who's hell bent on nursing her future daughter-in-law back to health while Videl's dad and staff are away. Vegeta taunted Goku with needles, and in general, it was fun for all. Will Videl recover unscathed? 

-**Warning**-: Long chapter ahead (which is why it took so damn long to write). The first half chapter is all fluff. We do not recommending drinking while reading the second half. Apologies for the stolen 2gether lines. ^_____^

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The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Goten and Trunks)

By: CCS AnGeL00 and Absolut Angel

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Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks

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Chapter 9: Videl's Misadventures in Cabin Fever and the Weirdest Bedtime Stories in History

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If one were to characterize the Son family, they would come across certain commonalties of all of the members of the immediate nuclear family. One of those is shared physical characteristics: dark hair and bright, shining obsidian eyes; light skin tone; a tall, muscular build; and a smile that could light up the room. Chi-Chi, a stunningly beautiful and strong woman (physically and in other ways) and Goku, a handsome man in his own cute, goofy way, had borne two quite attractive sons.

Spirit. Chi-Chi, like Bulma, was not a submissive housewife but instead burned with the spirit of a fighter long after she was married. Goku, despite what genetics had predestined for him, was good-natured, youthful and fairly naive despite what he'd been through in his life. But he too had a spirit that could not be denied; his Saiyan nature could push a transformation from the happy-go-lucky Goku to a warrior with an undeniable thirst for a fight, and more important, a win.

Determination. The two could be overtaken with a strong will that would not be bent, although Goku was known to give into the whims of his wife on more than one occasion. But that's to be expected in the Son residence, unless he wanted an appointment with Chi's infamous frying pan, which he liked to avoid at all cost. Sometimes he let her hit him for amusement; it was more likely that Goku would break the pan than the pan would hurt Goku. After all, Goku DID have a pretty hard head.

Love. Goku, again demonstrated the advantage of nurture over nature as he broke free of the Saiyan belief that feeling is weakness. He has in the past and would again without a thought give his life for the sake of his friends and loved ones. Chi-Chi is the same; refusing to give in to the depression that haunted her for seven years while raising her youngest son alone, she was determined to be the best mother she could be to her two sons and all the while hope that one day she would be reunited with the man that she loved.

The point of all this, you might ask? Well, some time after Videl was released from the hospital, while she was sleeping in the guest room that was supposed to be his, the littlest Son and his best friend were congregated in a field quite some distance from the little house in the Mount Paotzu district. Upon closer look, you would see between them a floating, yellow cloud.

Goten groaned, putting his face in his small hand. "Listen, Trunks, it's really not that hard. All you have to do is SIT on it. Even MARRON did it."

  
Trunks scrunched up his face in annoyance at being compared to the blonde toddler. He glared hard at his best friend, "I don't see the point, anyway," he gestured towards the small cloud. "It looks pretty stupid to me."

With the love, determination and spirit of a Son, Goten was trying very hard NOT to punch his purple-haired best friend while demonstrating how Nimbus worked, as must as he'd have enjoyed it. Sons were known for their skill and bravery, but they weren't particularly known for their attention span or patience, and Trunks was trying both. "It was your idea in the first place, but if you don't want to try it, we can go spar or visit Videl instead of standing around here doing nothing," Goten smiled; he really, REALLY wanted to make sure Videl was okay. Gohan hadn't let Goten visit her at all yesterday, telling him that she needed to rest, but if he was good, he could visit her ALL day today, and maybe even eat lunch with her in the guestroom. Truthfully, when she had fainted he was really scared that she wouldn't wake up at all -- 

He'd never met his father before the World Tournament, but when Goku was sent back to the Other World, Goten was devastated. The world, it seemed, was out to get him. He'd never done anything wrong in his entire life (except maybe that time he'd accidentally beaten up his mother, but it was training, after all) and as soon as he was given this gift, it was cruelly snatched away from him before he could even blink. 

But things had turned out alright in the end. Things have a way of always turning out all right in the end, Gohan had told him once, and he believed everything Gohan said. His dad was back to stay, which made everyone happy, even grumpy Vegeta, who had immediately brightened at the prospect of being able to beat up Goku every day for their natural borne lives. Chi-Chi got her husband back, Bulma and Krillin got their best friend, and Goten had gotten back the father that he had known for less than twenty-four hours but already loved more than anyone else in the entire universe. In that short time they'd formed a unique bond that even Gohan and his father couldn't have. The bond between father and youngest child, the baby of the family, especially one that had the exact disposition and outward appearance of his father.

Gohan was his mother's son, but Goten was his father's. And that's just the way things were.

Goten was happy that Videl was going to be fine. Even if she seemed to like Gohan more than him, he still liked her a whole lot and he didn't want her to die even if he had his father now. He would miss her a ton, and he knew that Gohan would be very sad if Videl had to go to the Other World. He didn't want Gohan to cry every day like he used to see his mother doing when his father was gone -- he wanted everyone to be happy like he was, because that only seemed fair.

However, on this day, Goten was far from happy. Goten was his father's son, but so was Trunks, and Goten finally understood why his father had told him that even though Vegeta was a good person at heart, he could try the patience of the kindest spirit. Trunks, standing, arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows and mouth slanted in a scowl, could not at that moment be anyone less than Vegeta's only son.

"So, all I have to do is sit on it?"

Goten grinned. Finally, FINALLY, they were getting somewhere. "Dad and Gohan say that as long as you're pure of heart, you can ride Nimbus." Goten didn't notice the look of distress that crossed Trunks' face because he was too busy calling Nimbus over to him. "Look." Goten hopped on and flew in circles around the other small boy.

Trunks mumbled something incoherently.

"What?" Goten peered over from the side of the yellow fluff and stared into his best friend's ice-blue eyes, which were rapidly clouding over. "What's wrong?"

Trunks turned red and stomped his foot. He turned away from Goten, blinked tears out of his eyes. Men don't shed pathetic tears, his father's voice whispered to him, although he'd learned from his mother that his father has done just that on more than one occasion and so he shouldn't be embarrassed to cry. But he still was. No matter what his mother told him, it wasn't characteristic of a true warrior to cry, even if he was only nine. "My mother couldn't do it, you know, when she first met your dad," Trunks sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

Goten blinked. Twice. "Trunks, are you scared?"

Trunks turned rapidly around again, his eyes flashing in anger and indignation. "Of course not! I'm not scared of anything, especially riding a moronic, old cloud!"

Goten thought for a moment before speaking, something he rarely did, but pressed one finger to his mouth like Gohan taught him before deciding what to say. "Gohan and me tried to teach Videl, Trunks, and she couldn't do it either. So you don't have to be sad if you can't do it, because a lot of people can't do it. Like your mom. I bet your dad couldn't do it either."

"My dad can do anything your dad can do!"

Oops. I shouldn't have said that, Goten thought, flailing his arms. "I didn't -- argh Trunks, why don't you just try it? I get into more than half the trouble you get into, and I can ride on it. And even if you can't, it's not a big deal, really."

"To you, maybe," Trunks muttered, thinking it over. So what if he couldn't ride Nimbus? His mother couldn't and Videl couldn't and there was nothing wrong with them. Maybe it was only a Son thing. After all, he'd only ever heard of Goku, Goten and Gohan riding it -- and Chi-Chi, was she was small. He loved Goten and Gohan like brothers and he liked their parents well enough, but he wouldn't like to be associated with something that was strictly a Son family thing -- his father would KILL him.

"Hey little guys, what'cha up to?" Goku suddenly materialized next to his youngest son, taking both boys by surprise. Trunks nearly fell over at the warrior's appearance, and Goten DID fall over, off of Nimbus and onto the grass.

  
"Dad!" Goten exclaimed, picking himself off the ground and hurling himself into his father's arms. Goku caught Goten with a grin, and put him up on his left shoulder. Goten glanced down at Trunks, who was trying not to stare at the father-son display of affection - in his house, those were few and far between, although when they DID happen, it was when it was of great significance.

Goten talked to him once, right after Vegeta had sacrificed himself and Goku had returned to the afterlife, about what it was like living without a dad. Trunks told him that he didn't know whether Goten was luckier or worse off for only knowing his dad for a short time before he left. He was luckier because he didn't know his dad to miss him, but he was worse off because he didn't know his dad at all. All in all, they both felt pretty crappy, and took comfort that the other was feeling pretty much the same thing: grief.

"He didn't have to," Trunks had to Goten said morosely. "We could have all done it together and then he would be here." He had looked down at his hands and bit his bottom lip to keep the tears from coming. "I think he's selfish," he whispered, trying desperately not to cry.

"I don't think so," Goten had countered, putting his small hand on his friend's shoulder. "I think he did the best he could."

And later, after Buu was defeated and his dad was back, back for real, he didn't care about embarrassment or being a warrior. He'd walked right over to his dad and hugged him really tightly, as if he'd leave again. Vegeta had tossed Bulma a look that said, "What do I do now?" and she had come to his rescue. Walking over to her son and husband, she'd wrapped her arms around both of them, pulling them into her warm embrace. Vegeta's strong arms seemed to wrap themselves around the two of their own volition.

"Vegeta," his mom had said, crushing Trunks against her, between herself and his father, "Don't ever scare me like that again, you obnoxious jerk." His father had said nothing but his mouth had settled into a smile from his ever-present scowl. His mother's voice had softened to a whisper with the words she spoke next, "Vegeta, I love you." 

Vegeta had pulled away then, and turned, embarrassed. Trunks had tried to guess what his father was thinking, but found that it was impossible. It would probably always be impossible. Which is probably why Trunks was so surprised at what Vegeta had to say in response.

"And I as well," he'd told her, her blue eyes widening in surprise. Was that the first time he'd ever told his wife that he loved her? Knowing Vegeta, probably. And he'd probably never say it again. "Both of you," he amended, glancing down at his son, whose small mouth was now practically to the floor, eyes comically wide. "Now get out of my face. I've been in hell, literally, and the last thing I need is the two of you hanging all over me. Well?" He glared at his wife and son, who were still staring at him in astonishment. "GO AWAY! And if you mention this pathetic human display of emotion to anyone, I'll kill you both." But Trunks knew that he wouldn't. Once upon a time, perhaps he might have, but that was a lifetime ago and everything -- everyone -- had changed. Once upon a time evil had tried to triumph, but in the end, goodness had prevailed. Once upon a time, happily ever after... maybe it was time for the three of them to begin living happily ever after. Wasn't it the least they deserved?

"Trunks?" Goku tore Trunks from his memory, shifting Goten from one shoulder to the other. "Are you going to try riding Nimbus now?"

Without hesitation, the light haired boy jumped onto the orange cloud, closing his eyes and holding his breath, preparing for the fall. When it never came, he looked down in surprise to see that he was quite firmly held in the embrace of the cloud, three feet off the ground. He poked the softness he was perched atop, just to make sure that it was really and truly real. Well. What do you know?

Goten clapped from atop his father's shoulders. "Yay Trunks! You did it! Yay yay yay yay!"

Goku patted Trunks' head, which earned him a scowl, but the older Saiyan smiled anyway. "You know," he said as Trunks experimented with flying the small cloud around the grass clearing, "I knew you could do it." 

Trunks thought of his parents and that day in the living room, not so long ago, surrounded in their safe hold. He looked at Goten, who was hanging upside down on his father's chest, legs clenched over Goku's muscular shoulder. Smiling brightly at his best friend, and then at Goku, Trunks took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh, morning mountain air before answering. "You know what?" Trunks zoomed around him once or twice, letting Nimbus take him wherever the little cloud desired. "I knew I could do it too."

"Come on, Trunks," Goten broke away from his dad and lifted himself off the ground. "I'll race you back to the house." After announcing his plans, he took off in the direction of his house, leaving Trunks on Nimbus in his dust.

"Little cheater, that one is," commented Goku slyly, putting two fingers to his head. "Wonder where he got it from?"

"Dunno," screamed Trunks, taking off after Goten. "Not me! I'm pure of heart!"

Goku chuckled and steadied himself for the return trip. Pinpointing his wife's familiar _ki _easily, he began to dematerialize from the grass clearing. "Love," he whispered before he disappeared, "is purity."

And then he was gone.

¤¤¤

"Okay, you three bottomless pits," Chi-Chi good-naturedly addressed her husband and two sons, who were waiting at the table for their dinner to be served to them. At one time in her life, Chi-Chi would almost resent the alien nature of her family, which forced to work twice as hard and worry ten times as much. She would wish for a normal husband who would leave in the morning in a suit and tie and come home in the evening. A husband who didn't disappear for day or weeks or months or years. Or die.

Or die. 

She'd never felt such pain in her life when Gohan had returned to her after the defeat of Cell and told her that Goku had transported both himself and Cell to King Kaio's planet in order to save the earth from the android's self-destruction mechanism. He had left her again, and that hurt, but what hurt her the most, what caused a sharp, ragged, almost electrical shock to pulse through her veins and cause her to collapse, was the fact that rather than allowing the remaining warriors to use the Dragonballs to return him to Earth, he'd prefer to stay dead.

"He feels that he's the catalyst for all the evil that gravitates to this planet," Chi-Chi had barely heard Gohan's heart-wrenching explanation, closing her eyes and forcing herself face her worst fear coming to fruition. All of those nights spent awake, wondering what she would ever do if there would come a day when she would have to live without him, was suddenly staring her right in the face. And the feeling she'd least expected to experience was the first that entered her heart and surrounded her once Gohan had completed his story.

Anger. Resentment.

He was only one man. He was a man with a wife and a child, but he was also a man that was a warrior who took it upon himself to balance the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was a man with a million responsibilities and couldn't figure out how to balance them all, so in Chi-Chi's mind, he did the most cowardly thing that he could -- he ran away. 

But he hadn't been the only one. 

Vegeta had disappeared not long after Goku had, and although Chi-Chi had never liked the arrogant Saiyan Prince, she hated to see the state that her closest friend was in after his departure. Bulma had always tried to downplay her feelings for the warrior, but after he was gone, all pretense was dropped. She and Chi-Chi screamed, cried and laughed together in those lonely months after Goku's death. It was a hard time for everyone, and without each other, they may never have gotten through it.

Slowly things began to improve, but not before they got worse. Chi-Chi found out she was pregnant, something that was difficult to deal with at the best of times, but impossible to deal with when the news came. Bulma tried to be as supportive as she could, given the situation, but she had her own problems to deal with. Vegeta had shown up at Capsule Corp. at almost three in the morning the week after Chi-Chi learned of her pregnancy, and working out the complications of Bulma and Vegeta's non-relationship was going to take time and effort. 

Chi-Chi had never felt more alone in her life.

She cut the vegetables and tossed them into a pan, smiling as Goku chided Gohan for the monstrous grin he'd had on his face since bringing Videl hope from the hospital. Goku continuously poked Gohan in the ribs (Gohan was infamously ticklish in only that -one- spot, and once Videl found that out, she'd probably have a field day) in order to extract information from him. She'd almost lost Gohan too, and more than once, she reflected as Gohan stuck to his adamant denial that anything happened that would promote a smile the size of Namek to be plastered across his handsome face. 

But here they all were, against all odds. No bad memories could spoil her happiness at seeing the four of them together, living in peace, like a real family. Her husband and her two sons, all somehow responsible for keeping the good in this world, were first and foremost to Chi-Chi, her husband and her two sons. And even if she couldn't, she wouldn't wish for things to be any different as long as they would lead up to the same place, right here. Because if they didn't... then where would she be?

She didn't even want to entertain the thought.

"Come on Gohan, we know something happened, so why don't you just tell us?" Goku continued his relentless attack on Gohan's ticklish spot. Chi-Chi peered around the barrier between the kitchen and saw her oldest son, hanging practically completely off the chair, keeping his place only at the table with a strategically placed leg and forearm, one arm desperately trying to thwart his father's assault.

Between laughs, Gohan managed to spit out, "Dad, I swear I'll tell you if you stop."

Goten looked up with huge, innocent eyes and blinked at his brother as his mother started placing food on the table. "Did you tell Videl that you love her, Gohan?"

Chi-Chi had to jump back as Gohan fell head-first onto the middle of the floor, almost dropping the bowl of rice she'd been carrying. Goku caught it effortlessly with the hand that wasn't holding chopsticks and placed it softly on the table. "Yeah, Gohan," Goku teased, eyes brimming with mirth, "Did you tell Videl you love her?" On the last two words, he raised his voice and head towards the direction of the back room, which forced Gohan to jump up from his position on the floor and clasp his hands over his father's mouth.

"Would you be quiet?" Gohan hissed, looking back and forth rapidly, making sure Videl hadn't come out of the room and heard Goku's statement. His mother stared at her son and husband affectionately before going back into the kitchen to retrieve more food.

"No horsing around at the dinner table," she called sternly from the stove.

"Okay Mom/Mother/Chi," came the answer from the table, all three knowing that dinnertime was the worst time to make Son Chi-Chi angry. She returned bearing a countless number of dishes for the main course that made all three mouths water, and almost as soon as the plates were on the table they were snatched up by three hungry Saiyans.

Chi-Chi couldn't help but smile fondly at her boys. Her boys. She clutched her dish towel to her chest and sat down at the table to join her family once all the preparations for dinner were done and placed a small amount of rice and vegetables on her own plate. She raised her chopsticks and was about to start eating when she decided she couldn't help but ask.

"Well, if you didn't tell her you love her," she poked her chopsticks menacingly at Gohan, but she was grinning, "Did you at least ask her to marry you?"

Gohan flailed, but managed to keep the food in his mouth, unlike the last time Chi-Chi had embarrassed him at the dinner table. He swallowed with some difficulty and glared at the dark haired beauty, a woman that he was almost always proud to call his mother. Almost. "Ét tu, Mother?" He whined pathetically.

Chi-Chi couldn't help but giggle into her plate. "You know I love my boys," she told them, picking up a pickle and plucking it in her mouth. "But one day I'd love to have a little granddaughter to play with, wouldn't you Goku dear?" Her voice dripped syrupy sweetness.

Goku nodded rapidly and looked up. "I've never seen a female Saiyan before. She'd probably be pretty strong, being Gohan and Videl's daughter and all, and her Saiyan blood would probably --"

"Oh, I give up!" Gohan exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and pushing his seat away from the table. He bowed briefly at his mother, who nodded, and he turned to walk away. "It's a conspiracy, that's what it is." He grumbled all the way to his room and slammed the door.

"What's HIS problem?" Goten asked, scrunching his eyebrows thoughtfully. 

Goku laughed and patted his youngest son on the head. "He just doesn't want to admit that he asked Videl to be his girlfriend before they left the hospital."

"He DID?" Chi-Chi gasped. "How did this happen? And how is it that YOU know about it before I do, Goku? And when exactly were you going to tell me all this, you big sneak?! He's my son too and I DESERVE to know what's going on in his social life, especially because he's going to be the father of my granddaughter!"

Goku almost died laughing at his wife, whose eyes were wide with surprise and anger and who was shaking her fists at him in frustration. "Chi, one question at a time, okay?"

Goten glanced from one of his parents to the other. "If Gohan and Videl got married and had a girl, then I'd be her -- uncle. Uncle Goten. I like that."

"GOKU! YOU BETTER EXPLAIN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"Vegeta overheard Gohan ask her," Goku explained, trying to placate his wife. "And then he told me. That's all. I promise." Goku frowned a bit and picked at his food. "I was kind of hoping he'd tell us on his own. I mean, he knows we love Videl, so what's the big deal?"

"Maybe it's a teenager thing," Chi-Chi reasoned.

"Teenagers are weird," Goten added with his mouth full of fried noodles, spraying some of the masticated material across the table. He picked up a napkin and cleaned off himself and then the table after a particularly nasty glare from his mother.

Goku snorted. "Amen to that," he closed in eyes in memory and a wistful smile spread across his face, thinking of his own times as a teenager. It wasn't hard to remember Bulma and Chi's frequent mood swings (not that those had changed much, but it was the principle of the thing) and Yamcha's ardent attempts to keep his young girlfriend happy. And damn. He'd gone to a World Tournament intending to win and when it was all over he was married. Goku opened his eyes and laughed. Poor Gohan, thought Goku. He didn't even know what he was getting into, did he?

"Goku, are you even listening to me?! What in the world did I do to deserve being mistreated so?" Chi-Chi reveled in her little melodrama, sweeping her arms in front of her and covering her eyes.

"I'm taking a shower!" Came a call from Gohan's bedroom, and seconds later he emerged from the room he shared with Goten, wearing only a pair of training pants and carrying a dark blue towel.

Chi-Chi dropped her hands from her face and abruptly stood up from the table, taking both her husband and Goten by surprise. "I'm going to check on Videl," she announced, beginning to clear the empty dishes from the table. "But before I do, I'm going to make her some dinner. Gohan, would you be a dear and take it to her when you get out of the shower?"

Gohan put his fingertips to his forehead and saluted his mom, agitation from moments ago forgotten at the thought of the small fighter resting in the back room. "No problem."

"Hey Goten," Goku helped Chi-Chi load the dishes into the dishwasher, an anniversary present from the Briefs' last year, and called to his son, who was still sitting idly at the table. He had a small frown on his face and was twiddling his two small thumbs in boredom and annoyance. "You wanna go get some ice cream for desert?"

Goten's eyes lit up like it was Christmas. "Really? All RIGHT! Can we take Trunks, too?"

Gohan laughed before making his way into the bathroom. "Good luck with that, Dad. Two half-Saiyan kids on a sugar high, I don't envy you at all."

"Oh, go bring your girlfriend dinner already, Gohan," Goku teased, grabbing the towel from his son and playfully smacking him with it. 

"She's not my --" Gohan retorted automatically, pulling the towel from his father. He slanted a brow and then sighed. "Oh, what the hell does it matter if she is?! Isn't that what you all wanted in the first place?" He stood in the middle of the hallway, pouting cutely. 

Chi-Chi clasped her hands together. "Oh, this is the happiest day of my life!"

"I thought the happiest day of your life was the first time that we --" Goku started but was swiftly interrupted by a frying pan. Where DID that thing come from, anyway? Interdimensional space? Geez.

"Not in front of the kids, Goku!"

" -- kissed. Ouch, Chi, that really hurt!"

Gohan slapped himself and left the room, muttering something that sounded to Goku strangely like insane parents and never being able to get any peace in this house.

"Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!" Goten ran around the kitchen at the speed of light, reaching over his mother and grabbing the phone, swiftly dialing the number of his best friend. "Trunks! It's me! Dad's going to take us out for ice cream!" He paused, putting his finger to his small mouth, listening to Trunks' reply. "I don't know, let me ask. MOM!"

Chi-Chi cringed at the scream, gripping Videl's dinner plate a bit tighter. "Tone it down a bit, honey."

"Sorry," Goten blushed, putting his hand over the phone receiver. "Can Trunks sleep over after we get ice cream?"

"I don't see why not," replied his mother, putting the finishing touches on Videl's plate and wiping her hands off on a dish towel. "Just let me speak to Bulma before you hang up with Trunks, okay?"

Goten whooped and turned back to the phone. "It's okay, Trunks. My dad and I will be over soon! And we can visit Videl later, Gohan said so! But we have to behave... Okay. Okay, wait, put your mom on the phone. My mom wants to talk to her."

"I don't know how you do it, Chi," commented Bulma once Chi-Chi had gotten her on the phone.

Chi-Chi twisted the phone cord around her wrist and smiled. "Do what?"

Bulma laughed from the other side of the phone. "I don't know. Live your life, I guess."

"Goten, take a jacket!" Chi-Chi called to her son and husband, who were getting ready to leave. "Especially if you're flying! And Goku... be careful." She turned her attention towards the phone again and smiled, though Bulma couldn't see. "How do you live your life then, Bulma?"

"Day by day, I guess. And I've learned not to be surprised at ANYTHING, anymore."

"Love you mom! Bye!" Goten flew up and kissed his mom on the cheek, and giggled when his dad leaned down to kiss her other cheek at the same time. She almost wished she had a camera to capture the sight - it was a Kodak moment if there ever was one.

"Love you, Chi!" 

A split second later, both her husband and younger son were gone. There was a bit of commotion on Bulma's end as she let out a small screech and it sounded like she had fallen over and dropped the phone.

"Goku!" Chi-Chi heard Bulma reprimand her husband, "How many times have I told you NOT to DO that!" 

"Sorry Bulma," Goku's voice sounded like her was far away but Chi-Chi already knew that he probably wasn't as sorry as he said. "Is Trunks ready to get ice cream?"

"Did somebody say ice cream?" A low voice demanded. There was a pause. "Oh, it's only you, Kakkarot."

Goku's cheeriness didn't wane. "Hi to you too, Vegeta. Want to get some ice cream with us?"

"Oy, Vegeta's going with them," Bulma explained a moment later. "I better go as well. Last time they didn't have the flavor he wanted, and you don't even want to know what happened."

"Well," reasoned the Saiyan Prince in the background, "one shouldn't advertise what isn't available."

"Vegeta, you threatened the man with severe dismemberment and told him that if he didn't go into the back room and emerge with six gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream, you were going to pull his intestines out from his mouth and shove them back in the other end," Bulma accused.

"He brought the ice cream, didn't he, woman?"

Bulma sighed in exasperation. "Are you sure you don't want to come too, Chi?"

"Although an ice cream excursion with Vegeta sounds appealing, I'll pass. Videl's here and she needs to be looked after by someone whose brain doesn't turn to mush every time they're in the same room together."

"Gohan's got it pretty bad then?"

"Bulma, he's got it WORSE."

"Woman, if you don't get off that phone and hurry up, it will be your pitiable entrails in jeopardy next."

Chi-Chi laughed and said her goodbyes, wishing the ice cream shops of Satan City a silent good luck as the four Saiyans ascended upon them. It was only as she was tidying up the living room when she realized she'd never answered Bulma's question. She picked up a framed picture of the four of them taken at the World Tournament -- Goku, dressed in his familiar orange and blue _gi, _halo shining brightly over his head and a grin plastered across his face; Gohan, in the black and green latex material of his Saiyaman costume, his arms thrown over his fathers shoulders, sunglasses shining in the mid-day sun; Goten, crouched at his father's feet, brandishing the same expression, clothing and hairstyle as his father, down to the shining, dark eyes; and herself, dressed in her usual Chinese-style dress, dark hair tied tightly into a bun by a red ribbon that flew loosely behind her in the wind, two wisps of licorice colored hair dangling past her ears. Right before Bulma had snapped the picture, Goku had pulled her forcefully towards him, wrapping his strong arms around her waist and taking her by surprise. She'd turned her head towards him the moment Bulma had taken the picture, capturing a look of pure, raw love between the two.

Holding the picture close to her chest, she closed her eyes and thanked God for her family, world saviors and all.

After all, what is a life not lived for the ones you love?

¤¤¤

"Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice! Cream! Ice! Cream! Yay!" Sang Goten, skipping merrily down the city street. The sun was beginning to set, casting an almost ethereal orange/red afterglow across the cloudless sky. Trunks decided on staring upwards towards it instead of acknowledging that the bouncing boy was someone that he normally associated with.

"Kakkarot, your son is an pathetic abomination," snarled Vegeta, crossing his arms over his chest. He briefly wondered if the eventual reward for this pitiful outing was worth the effort. 

He did LOVE mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Goku scratched his head. "I think he's cute. He's a kid Vegeta, he's allowed to act like one sometimes."

"He is a warrior!" Vegeta retorted, turning away from Goku in disgust. "He should act accordingly." 

"Oh, knock it off, Vegeta," Bulma commented, coming up to walk on the other side of Goku. She decided that chaperoning this expedition was most certainly a good idea indeed. "He's eight years old. He has all his life to be a warrior. He's only going to have his childhood for another ten years." She poked her husband softly in the ribs. "That goes for your own son too, you know."

Vegeta huffed but said nothing else, as they were coming upon Satan City Ice Cream Shoppe. Bulma had wisely chosen this establishment and not the one in the West Capital, since after the last disembowelment incident, Vegeta's picture hung ominously in the window with a note attached that read, "Number One Enemy to Ice Cream Workers". Thankfully he hadn't seen it yet, because if he had, disembowelment would probably be the least of Sweets and Things problems.

Goten skipped and skipped until he couldn't skip anymore. That was because he was standing in front of the ice cream shop and because he had barreled into something due to the fact that in his excitement for ice cream, he'd forgotten to watch where he was going. The -something- fell over, even though Goten hadn't hit it very hard, and when Goten had finally gotten a hold on his bearings -- and the remaining adults and Trunks had caught up -- he realized exactly WHAT he'd just knocked over.

"Oh my gosh, it's a seven foot tall popsicle!"

Even Vegeta had to blink at that one.

"Hey kid," said the popsicle, struggling to get to its feet. "Watch where you're going, okay?"

Goten's mouth practically fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh, the popsicle can TALK!"

Trunks, never being one to sit idly by when action could be taken, cautiously approached the orange popsicle, still having difficulty getting to its feet again, as it appeared to have no arms. He poked it once, and then twice. "I've never seen a talking popsicle before."

The popsicle almost seemed to sigh before commenting sharply, "That's because I'm not a popsicle you dork! And would you stop poking me, and maybe help me up?" It flailed a bit, which was hard, especially it didn't have any arms. "And would you stop poking me, dammit?!"

"Well, it LOOKS like a popsicle to me," huffed Goten.

"Dear, it's just a man in a popsicle costume," explained Bulma patiently, reaching over and yanking the popsicle to its feet. It nodded at her -- which was strange, really, to see a popsicle nodding -- in thanks. 

"Sharpner!" A sharp yell came from the inside of the small shop. "Stop fooling around out there and DO YOUR JOB!"

"This is utter ridiculousness," muttered Vegeta, who was getting quite impatient. Goku however, had a huge smile on his face and was just taking it all in. It wasn't every day that he came across a giant, talking, orange popsicle.

  
Wait a second. That name sounded really familiar. Where had he heard the name "Sharpner" before? Goku coked one eyebrow cutely at the popsicle. "Sharpner? Aren't you a friend of Gohan's?"

"You mean Son Gohan, that girlfriend stealing, good-for-nothing teacher's pet from the planet geek? EEEEERG," Sharpner was unable to finish his tirade, because as soon as he began insulting Gohan, Goten had taken it upon himself to kick the popsicle where he thought a pressure point would be, and he was correct. The popsicle fell over once more, withering in pain on the ground, grabbing, Vegeta surmised, where his groin was under that ludicrous costume.

"Nobody talks about my big brother like that!" Goten screamed at the popsicle, and extended his leg towards the popsicle's face for good measure.

Big brother? Oh SHIT, Sharpner was in trouble. NOW he realized where he'd seen these people before -- Videl's party. The tallest dark haired man and the little dark haired boy was Gohan's father and brother. The other three were the family that lived at Capsule Corp.: the president, her husband and her son. SHIT.

"Nice kick, brat," Vegeta nodded to Goten, who paused, then smiled up at him with that infuriating trademark grin. "Although next time, rotate your hip less and you will get more leverage."

"VEGETA!" Bulma stood aghast, hoping and praying that she wouldn't have another lawsuit on her hands. Capsule Corp. was piling up more lawsuits than Microsoft lately. Maybe it was time to lock Vegeta in the house and only let him out to play when he promised to be good. 

Which, of course, would be never.

"Could we get some ice cream now?" Trunks asked his dad, who was smirking at the popsicle on the ground. He remembered that half-wit Sharpner from Videl's birthday party. He'd immediately reminded him of that smarmy, inflated fool, Yamcha, who, all in all, was a pretty bad person to remind Vegeta of. 

"Wow, Videl is NEVER gonna believe we saw a giant popsicle!" Goten gushed to Trunks.

"Videl?" gasped Sharpner, still unwilling to believe that this was all actually happening to him. He'd innocently enough volunteered to help his parents out at their ice cream shop (after being guilted enough into it) and when he tried to bail after his mother showed him exactly WHAT he was going to be doing, he'd been guilted AGAIN into staying. He'd only hoped that he wouldn't run into anyone he knew, ESPECIALLY Videl, but now it was ten times worse because he'd figured out that he'd run into GOHAN's family and BULMA BRIEFS and her husband and son. Could it get any more embarrassing? 

"Yep! Videl's got pneu -- pneu --- nymphomania, so she's staying at our house so my mom and Gohan can take care of her!" Goten told the popsicle cheerfully.

"She's STAYING at your HOUSE?" A pause. "NYMPHOMANIA?"

Goku grinned. "My wife is a great nurse, as long as you don't let her near any needles. And since she's convinced that Videl is going to bear her loads of grandchildren, you don't have to worry about her well-being while she's at our house. And he means 'pneumonia' not 'nymphomania.'"

"GRANDCHILDREN?!"

"Kakkarot, would you stop this prattling so we could perhaps GET WHAT WE CAME FOR?!" Vegeta positively exploded, dragging his wife and son forcefully into the shop. 

"Okay!" Goku called to Vegeta. He blinked down at Sharpener, who was banging his popsicle covered head on the concrete. A blur streaked by him, no doubt Goten on his way to assault the man behind the counter with his usual request (twelve scoops on a supersized, chocolate dipped waffle cone, alternating strawberry, caramel and chocolate scoops of ice cream). Goku reached down and pulled Sharpner to his feet. The popsicle teetered awkwardly but managed to steady himself.

"I --"

Goku made sure Sharpner was upright before walking into the shop. "By the way," he said, narrowing his eyes, which were suddenly cold and hard, like stainless steel. "I really wouldn't say bad things about Gohan around Goten OR me in the future, unless you plan to have grandchildren of your own someday." Goku's serious demeanor disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by a huge grin. "Hope to see you again soon! I'm sure Videl will want to see you, so stop by the house any time you want, okay? Bye now!"

Sharpener could only stare in disbelief. What the hell just happened?

Fuck this. "I QUIT!"

¤¤¤

Gohan stepped out of the shower and dressed swiftly, barely able to see his own hands in front of him from the steam infiltrating the small bathroom. He didn't really mind. He liked his showers scalding, and besides, he enjoyed drawing little pictures on the foggy medicine cabinet mirror.

"Gohan + Videl," he wrote, after he pulled on his training pants and plopped a towel around his neck. And then, as if he thought better of it, swiped the little heart away with the palm of his hand. The condensation hung thick around him and the temperature in the room was hardly dissipating, so he opened the back window and then exited, being greeted with breath of cold air.

"Ahh," he sighed to himself. "That's better." 

Running a hand through his damp but still gravity defying hair, he walked briskly to the kitchen and picked up the food that Chi-Chi had prepared for Videl. Figuring that it had gotten pretty late and she would be hungry, he didn't bother going back into his room to put on a shirt. With the towel still hung around his broad shoulders, he knocked on the door in the back section of the small house and slowly walked in.

Videl sat cutely against the headboard of the bed, digital thermometer hanging out of her mouth, looking ten times better than she had when they brought her into the hospital. It must have been cool in the room because she was wearing a three-quarter sleeved, black cotton shirt and long, fuzzy gray sweatpants, with the covers half thrown over her legs and half onto the floor. Although her blue eyes has less of a sparkle to them over the past couple of days, Gohan noticed that she DID brighten when she saw him walk through the door.

His mother stood on the right side of Videl's bed, watching her like a hawk. "Now Videl, I realize that it's the third time in the last ten minutes that I've taken your temperature, but it's better safe than sorry, I always say!"

Videl took that moment toss a pleading look at Gohan, and blinked when she realized that he must have just come out of shower, because he was decidedly damp and not wearing many articles of clothing. She forgot all about Chi-Chi's nurse from hell act when she noticed the cool water droplets still clinging to the taught muscles in his chest, traveling slowly from the nape of his neck, past his pectoral muscles, moving slowly along the creases in his perfect abdomen and downward even more --

She felt her face flushing just by looking at him, her mouth and eyes open wide at the thoughts that were running rampant through her brain and sparks shooting through her body. She caught herself before Chi-Chi could figure out that she was opening ogling her oldest son, and clamped her mouth down, shoving the thermometer so far underneath her tongue that it actually hurt. Good, she thought, a distraction.

"I brought you dinner," he told her softly, walking over to her and setting the tray down on the dresser next to the bed. "Wow, you look really flushed. Do you need something to drink?" He sat down next to her and placed a large palm on her damp forehead, brushing her bangs out of the way.

Videl visibly shuddered from the contact. 'No,' she thought, 'but a cold shower might be nice.'

"Mom, could you maybe go get Videl some ice water?" Gohan asked Chi-Chi. "She's really burning up. Maybe you want to take a cold shower later, Videl?"

She nodded. 'I love this man.'

Chi-Chi frowned and took the beeping thermometer from Videl's mouth. "That's strange. Her temperature was down a couple of minutes ago. Alright, I'll be back with a cold drink and some Tylenol. Sit tight, Videl." Chi-Chi rushed out the door.

Gohan turned back to Videl, glad to see that her cheeks were losing some of the redness that graced them before. He leaned over and pressed his lips softly to her forehead and then to her lips. When he'd told his mother she was burning hot he hadn't been exaggerating. He pulled her against him, and it was like cradling a hot water bottle. When she looked up at him, he could see the look of concern on her face, but he silenced her with a smile. "I've never been sick in my life," he explained, "so don't worry about infecting me."

Actually, that was the farthest thing from her mind. With him so close to her, holding her in his arms like this, she felt like every nerve in her body was on fire. He held her, her back against his bare chest, his arms wrapped around the bare flesh where her shirt ended and pants began. His fingertips absently grazed the soft, warm skin and his breath was hot on her neck, and he smelled so soft and clean and -- so GOHAN. If her temperature wasn't through the roof right now she'd be more than surprised. Just the fact that he was here, holding her, taking care of her, making her feel safe -- God, it made her want him. Especially when he didn't know that he was doing anything to make her want him.

The contact was much too brief as Gohan's keen sense of hearing alerted him that his mother was on her way back. He was practically standing on the other side of the room when Chi-Chi returned with the medication and a huge class of ice water. "You need to take these now," Chi-Chi handed her two white capsules and the water, "and then you need to eat and take these," she picked up a bottle on the dresser. "You can't take the pain medication without eating, okay?"

Videl nodded and downed the two capsules with one gulp of water, and then finished off the glass with another three. Gohan and Chi-Chi looked at her as she did this, and they shared a worried look as Chi-Chi retrieved the glass from the lithe warrior. "I'm going to get your more water and a cold compress, and then I'm going to SIT HERE and make sure you eat EVERY SINGLE THING on that plate. Oh and by the way, I contacted your father."

Videl flailed and fell backwards against the pillows. She did WHAT? Didn't she know what her father was going to do when he found out that she was staying at GOHAN's house? The Satans and the Sons had been on fairly good terms since the whole Buu business (the Briefs were another story, since Vegeta and Trunks held pretty fast to the belief that her father was nothing but a crackpot, which she had to agree with sometimes) but he STILL didn't trust Gohan around her, insisting that the teenage Saiyan had less than pure intentions when it came to his daughter.

He was probably right, but man. Didn't trust mean anything?

"Now, don't look so upset," said Chi-Chi, talking both to Gohan and Videl. That's when Videl noticed that Gohan had a matching stricken look on his face. So far in his relationship with Videl, he'd managed to avoid further altercations with Satan since that disastrous first date business. And now he was going to have to explain Videl sleeping in his house? "He's very grateful that you have such good friends that are worried about your welfare."

Videl groaned and reached for her laptop computer. She opened it to WordPad and typed furiously. *Did he SAY that?*

"Well, not in so many words," replied Chi-Chi carefully. Actually, it had taken all the patience and congeniality that she could muster up to sit through that man's tirade, which had been mostly nonsense and -

"My poor sweet Videl, how could this happen to her? And I can't even talk to her because she's lost her cute little voice! I bet it's all that ALIEN'S fault!"

Chi-Chi was never one to roll her eyes, but she'd been forced to under the circumstances. "Mr. Satan," she'd replied. "I'm sure you know that no one is to blame for sickness. Unless you want to blame the bacteria."

He grumbled but told her that he appreciated what her family was doing for Videl, even if it was rather begrudgingly, and told her that he'd try to cut the trip short and be home in two weeks instead of three.

Chi-Chi wished she could use Goku's Instant Transmission technique so she could find that insufferable man and smack him upside the head.

"He's not," Gohan started nervously, putting his hand behind his head, "coming back soon, is he?"

Chi-Chi shook her head, her unbound hair falling in waves around her. "Miya will be back before Videl's dad, so she can leave at the end of the week. That is, if she's better and cooperates with me. Because if she doesn't, she'll NEVER GET BETTER, do you understand?" Chi-Chi walked over to Videl, bent down, and stuck the thermometer back in her mouth.

Gohan was forced to suppress a laugh as Videl whimpered and covered herself with the comforter. 

She prayed to God that she would survive to see graduation day.

¤¤¤

"Videl!!"

She and Gohan had been sitting side by side on the large four posted bed, innocently talking about her days in Junior Baseball League (actually she was typing and he was talking, but that's beside the point). He got a kick out the fact that she was the only female in the league, the star pitcher on her team and the League MVP four years in a row, leading her team to FOUR division championships. She not only lead the league in wins and strikeouts, but also in homeruns, extra base hits, walks and on base percentage, as she played short stop when she wasn't pitching. She'd been typing furiously about striking Sharpner out sixty-seven times one season when she was assaulted by two small pairs of arms and legs, one pair attached to unruly black hair and one to a mop of purple hair.

"Boys! Videl isn't supposed to be exerting herself!" Chi-Chi walked in suddenly, scolding the two pint-sized Saiyans.

"But Gohan promised we could visit her!" Goten pulled himself off of her and bounced on the bed beside her. He sat on his knees and placed his small arms on this thighs in an indignant pose. 

Trunks, who was still attached to Videl's abdomen, nodded. "Yeah, he promised!" 

"I promised you could visit her, squirt," Gohan pulled Goten and Trunks to the other side of the bed where he was. "I never said you could suffocate her."

Videl put her hands up, giving the universal signal that it was alright. She liked spending time with Gohan (though she was currently trying to keep herself from throwing herself at him, as looked positively adorable in the tee-shirt and sweat pants outfit he'd changed into after bringing her dinner) but she loved being around Trunks and Goten, who seemed to be reservoirs of pure, unadulterated energy. Yes, they were a handful, as were any nine and ten-year-old boys, but they were so CUTE and so SWEET.

Most of the time.

"We brought you some ice cream, Videl," said Goku, walking into the room. Smiling, he handed her a quart of her favorite ice cream flavor, chocolate fudge brownie and a spoon. She popped the top off and nodded at him in thanks. "Chi-Chi told me that the doctors told her that it would help your throat. And when we mentioned your name in the ice-cream place, the people behind the counter knew exactly what flavor you'd like."

Gohan raised an eyebrow, stretching out his long limbs across the bed. "Did you bring ME home anything?" Videl put some ice-cream on her spoon and stuck it in his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

"Oh!" Goten gushed, leaning over Gohan to address Videl. "And you'll never guess what we saw! A giant popsicle!" Goten frowned, looking at his dad, who was still lingering at the doorway, with his arm around Chi-Chi. "But it was a mean popsicle and it said bad things. So I kicked it!"

Chi-Chi glared at her husband, who smiled nervously. "It really was a mean popsicle, Chi."

"YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT? Our son can't just go around kicking people, Goku, what will other people think? That he's a delinquent, that's what! And I can't believe that you're condoning this type of beh -- " Goku put his hands gently over Chi-Chi's mouth to stop her ranting and lead her out of the room. She huffed in annoyance, but was placated when he promised that he brought her home the ice-cream that she wanted, whipped cream and all.

All was inevitably forgiven.

Back in Videl's room, Trunks giggled. "And then on the way out, Dad wanted to bite the head of the popsicle off to see if it was a creamsicle, but Mom wouldn't let him."

Gohan and Videl stared at the boys openmouthed, not quite knowing what to say. Videl was about to turn the computer to ask Goten what exactly he meant by "giant popsicle" but suddenly felt very tired, too tired to even lift the light laptop. She fell back against the pillows, dropping the computer down onto the spot next to her. Her eyelids began to close on their own accord.

"Videl, are you okay?" Goten turned to her with a worried look in his big, dark eyes, putting his small hands on her shoulders.

She nodded, suppressing a yawn. 'Just tired,' she mouthed.

"The painkillers are taking effect again," explained Gohan, hopping off the bed and pulling the covers over his girlfriend's small frame. "They'll probably keep you out for the entire night, Videl."

"I know!" Goten bounced up and down in excitement. "Me and Trunks can tell you a bedtime story!"

Gohan raised one eyebrow. "A bedtime story?"

"'Course. Daddy tells me stories all the time. Not like the ones that Vegeta tells, 'cause those give me nightmares and Mommy will bop Daddy with the Teflon pan if I get nightmares, but funny ones about stuff that happened before me and Trunks were born!"

Gohan was about to protest, especially since he didn't know exactly what stories his father had been telling Goten attempting to lull the hyperactive Saiyan child to sleep on a regular basis, but Videl stopped him with a wave of her hand, signaling that she'd like to hear what Goten had to say. Goten's eyes shined in anticipation, Trunks was unusually silent and Videl was smiling softly.

Gohan had no choice but to give in. "Alright," placated Gohan, patting his younger brother on the mop head. "But a short story. And as soon as Videl is sleeping, we're out of here."

Goten nodded quickly and jumped to sit next to the ailing girl. "Alright Videl, here's one of my favorites. Once upon a time..."

¤¤¤

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away...

¤¤¤

"Uh... Goten?"

"What?"

"Isn't that Star Wars?"

"... What a Star War?"

"Nevermind."

"Ahem. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted...

¤¤¤

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a boy that never knew his father. He was brought up by his mother and his grandparents who were all really smart and rich. He was really cool and strong, and everyone said that he had really nice hair.

Well, on the planet where this boy lived everyone was dying. A really bad man named Emporer Gero had created all of these machines that liked to hurt people. The machines, or 'Droids, killed all of the purple-haired boy's family and friends, except for his mother and his old and wise master, Obi Wan Gohan.

¤¤¤

"Goten!"

An innocent look. "What?"

¤¤¤

Well, anyway. The boy trained and trained under Obi Wan Gohan and eventually took control of his Saiyan powers. With his light saber -- er -- sword in hand, he set off on his journey to the past in order to stop the evil machines from hurting all of his friends. His other task was to prevent the wisest and strongest martial artist in the known universe, Goda, from dying of a heart virus -- 

¤¤¤

"Goten, did dad really tell you this story?"

"Yeah Goten, 'cause it's really starting to suck."

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP INTERRUPTING ME?! And besides, Videl is smiling so she likes it. Nyah."

¤¤¤

So the boy traveled all the way back in time and landed in a desert, in a time far before his own. He arrived just at the right moment; Goda was still off the planet so the boy took it upon himself to kill Lord Frieza and his evil father, King Kooler with his way cool sword.

All of the Rebel Z Forces were astounded at his Super Saiyan powers, and the awesome way his hair stood on end when he was a Super Saiyan. They were all curious about this mysterious, purple haired boy, but he could not tell anyone his origins in fear that he would never be born.

Little did they all know that his father was none other than the menace to planets and tall people everywhere...

Insert evil background music here

... Darth Vegeta!

¤¤¤

"I don't think that's funny, Goten."

"Gohan seems to think it's funny, Trunks."

"Hehehe.... Darth Vegeta.... Hehehehehehehehe.... 'Trunks, I am your father... Bwahahahahaha.' I can't take it.... Hahahaha...."

"'Sides Trunks, this story is mostly about you, so why don't you just SHUT UP and LET ME FINISH!"

"Humph."

¤¤¤

So after waiting a couple of hours, Goda's Super Saiyan Space Pod landed in the desert, exactly when the purple haired boy said that he would. The Rebel Z Forces were surprised to learn that Goda had never even met the boy and were skeptical when the boy wanted to talk to Goda alone. Darth Vegeta, on the other hand, was happy; maybe the purple-haired brat would kill that fool Goda once and for all and at long last, HE would be the ruler of the universe!

Insert evil laughter

Meanwhile, after a short battle, the purple-haired boy revealed his true identity to the powerful martial arts master.

"I am not from this time," said the Saiyan boy, "My name is Trunks Briefswalker, and I am from the future."

"Trunks Briefswalker," Goda looked puzzled. "But that's the family name of the Briefswalker royal family. Princess Bulma is one of my very best friends."

Trunks raised one eyebrow. "Hey, you don't talk like the original Yoda."

Goda laughed. "It gets annoying, talking like this does." He paused, thinking. "Hey, are you related to Princess Bulma?"

"She's my mother."

"HOLY KAMI FATHER OF PICCOLO! Really?! Then... who's your father? Yam Solo?"

"What? NO! I'm Saiyan, you dork."

"Oh right!" Goda scratched his head. "I'm pretty sure you're not my kid... so... you have to be..."

Insert suspenseful background music

"... DARTH VEGETA'S SON!"

Briefswalker slapped his forehead. "Duh. Isn't it obvious? It really shouldn't take the rest of the Z Rebels ten episodes to realize it, either. Half Saiyan, purple-hair like my mother's dad, with a badass attitude? Dude, I'm TOTALLY Vegeta and Bulma's son. And don't even get me started on that GT pansy. He's no Future me, that's for sure."

"Whatever you say, young Briefswalker. Now, did you seek me out for a purpose?"

"No, I came here for the cute girls. Of COURSE I have a purpose! Geez," he muttered, taking out the medicine. "Take this. You won't die and then you'll be able to fight the 'Droids and prevent everyone from dying. Then the Rebel Forces will prevail, conquer the empire and Darth Vegeta and Princess Bulma will live happily ever after. Well, they will, once my mother gets rid of that ridiculous looking haircut."

"It is kind of ridiculous, isn't it?"

A couple of feet away, Princess Bulma sneezed. "Oooh... someone's talking about me."

Darth Vegeta grumbled. "They're probably conspiring about how to get rid of you, you insolent, ugly woman."

The blue-haired princess turned towards the diminutive, yet oddly enough menacing Saiyan with an indignant look on her face. "That's not what you said last night, hot shot!"

¤¤¤

"GOTEN! Dad DEFINITLY did not tell you this story!"

"YES HE DID!"

"NO HE DIDN'T!"

"YES HE DID!"

"NO HE DIDN'T!"

"YES HE DID! YES HE DID! YES HE DID!"

A deep breath. "Maybe it's time you stopped before you disturb Videl. She's almost sleeping."

A pout. "Do I have to?"

"Maybe you should tone it down a bit, then."

Sigh. 

"Alright. I'll tell a different story then."

"Fine."

"Fine! Hmph. There's no pleasing you people. Daddy calls this story 'Goku Little.' "

"Why am I suddenly scared?"

¤¤¤

Once upon a time there, a bit of time after young Trunks Briefswalker descended upon the Z Rebel forces to warn them of the Android Invasion, the Z Rebel team put together a group in order to seek out the Dragonballs in an attempt to enlist the Dragon's help in the eventual fight. The team consisted of three of the Z Rebel Fighters: Hunksy Trunksy, Illin' Krillin and No-Clue Goku.

¤¤¤

"..."

"..."

"..."

¤¤¤

Hunksy Trunksy, the pretty one, possesed the innate talent of making girls squrm wherever he went, especially when he ran his hands through his hair or flexed his mucles. Illin' Krillin, the rapping one, only talked in bad slang and rhymes and dreamed of one day having his own record deal. No-Clue Goku, the lost one, always had to be reminded where they were going and why. Each had agreed that one of the wishes would be to ask the dragon for help fighting the androids, but all had a secret desire for the second wish the Dragonballs would grant.

And someone else, hiding deep in the shadows of the forest the three were traveling through, had desires of his own.

"Bwahahah!" Laughed the shadow, shaking with mirth. "After I am through with those weaklings and take the Dragonballs for myself, no one will have Veggie Wedgie to kick around anymore! Bwahahahahaha!!!"

¤¤¤

Strained laughter. "Oh... My... God..."

"Videl, you're not supposed to be laughing! Or talking! Hehehe... Veggie Wedgie..."

"Goten, why does it seem like in all your dad's stories, my dad gets the worst of it?"

"Maybe 'cause your dad's only purpose in life is to make my dad's life miserable?"

"... Point."

¤¤¤

"Skillin' like Verizon, I got the ill communication," rapped Illin' Krillin, happily skipping through the forest, "Past that phat horizon, in a bitchin' location..."

Hunksy Trunksy rolled his eyes and flexed his muscles. "No one cares about your stupid rapping. It's my beauty everyone pays attention to." He flashed a tree a bright smile.

"You best BACK UP ya pretty boy ass," the bald rapper countered, scowling at the teenager. "Just LOOK at you mister 2% milk, mister khaki pants, mister touched by an angel. GET OUTTA MY FACE!"

"Why are we here again?"

Hunksy Trunksy and Illin' Krillin sighed. "To find the Dragonballs and tell the dragon that the Androids are coming, the Androids are coming!"

"Isn't the sky falling?"

Hunksy Trunksy looked up at the clear, blue sky. "No, No-Clue Goku. I think that's in the _other _story."

No-Clue Goku seemed to except that as an answer. The group continued on their way until they passed the lair of the feared forest villian...

"Yes," boomed a voice from behind one of the trees, "It is I, the cruel and merciless Veggie Wedgie!"

Illin' Krillin and No-Clue Goku collpased in laughter. Hunsky Trunksy slapped himself in embarassment. Veggie Wedgie grew more incested by the moment. "YOU DARE MOCK THE NAME OF VEGGIE WEDGIE?!"

"Daaaaaaaaad," Hunksy Trunksy whined. "That name sucks! Of COURSE we're mocking it!"

"You're one to talk, brat," snapped the dark prince. "Now, hand over the Dragonballs you've collected. And I know you have them because I have this!" Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun. "The dragon radar!"

No-Clue Goku looked down at his hand, where he held his own dragon radar. "But, Veggie Wedgie, hehehe, how did you get that? I thought we had the only known radar."

"I stole it from the wretched Woman, of course," Veggie Wedgie stuck his nose up in the air. "And once I have all seven of the Dragonballs, my plan for world domination will finally be complete!"

"But daaaaaaaad, you KNOW we have to wish for the dragon to help us with the Androids! And I wanted to wish for bigger muscles!"

"Well, there goes my plan to wish for a lifetime's supply of food," No-Clue Goku sighed.

"Why you be wishing for half-baked meals?" Krillin looked crestfallen. "I was on my way to bangin' out six record deals!"

Veggie Wedgie just laughed, holding up his hands. "Now give me the Dragonballs, or I shall blast you into the next dimension!" The ki blast in his hands glowed a menacing blue color.

"Man, this badass act is such a bore, but we'll hand over the balls if you tells us what you'll be wishin' for," Krillin reasoned, thinking that if it was something REALLY bad, they would have no choice but to fight the spiky-haired villian.

"It's of no concern to you, Vanilla Ice," Veggie Wedgie crossed his arm over his chest. He held out his hand. "Now."  
  
"First off _fool_, I taught _Ice _that rappin' was cool! 'Side G, we ain't got all seven, see?" Illin' Krillin showed Veggie Wedgie his six Dragonballs.  
  
Hunksy Trunksy flexed his muscles and rubbed his forceps. He turned to Illin' Krillin, ignoring the commotion in the background (Veggie Wedgie was threatening harm to No Clue Goku if he laughed at his name one more time). "We can all go find the seventh Dragonball and have all the wishes for ourselves."  
  
Illin' Krillin looked at the beautiful boy, his eyebrows high on his forehead. "Yo listen dog, Special K's got one hoe and one hoe only, and dat's Special K! What would No Clue Goku say?"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"GOTEN!!!"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
Hunksy Trunksy waved his hand carelessly. "He doesn't even know what day of the week it is! Don't worry about it."  
  
"AHA! I have found the seventh Dragonball!" Veggie Wedgie thrust the ball up the air triumphantly.  
  
Illin' Krillin and Hunksy Trunksy looked over in shock. "Daaaaaaaaaad! That's MY Dragonball! Where did you get it?!"

  
"From this idiot," Veggie Wedgie pointed at No-Clue Goku, who blinked innocently.  
  
"NO-CLUE GOKU YOU MORON! I am beyond vexed at this abomination!" Illin' Krillin' swore. "I AM SO MAD I CAN'T EVEN RHYME! DAMN YOU!!!"  
  
"Why did you give it to him? Why didn't you give it to ME?!" Hunksy Trunksy growled.  
  
"You never asked," Goku said simply.  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"..."

"..."

"... Goten are you SURE Dad told you this story?"

Nodnodnodnodnod. "Yep!"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"Now I shall get my wish!" Veggie Wedgie placed the Dragonballs on the ground and raised his arms high in the hair. "Eternal Dragon," he screamed at the sky, "I, Veggie Wedgie, SUMMON YOU!"

The wind in the forest picked up and swirled around the group. The sky was suddenly a ominous black, and the temperature dropped significantly. Hunksy Trunksy wrapped his arms tightly around himself and trembled as a hundred meter dragon manifested itself from the orange balls. Veggie-Wegdie's face broke out into a huge grin in anticipation.  
  
"Shiiiiit," Shenlong swore. "Can't a magical dragon even get any SLEEP anymore? You crazy ass people got me workin' round the DAMN CLOCK! First off, before you even ask any of your wishes, Illin' Krillin, all the magic in the world couldn't get yo' stupid ass a record deal."  
  
Illin' Krillin mumbled under his breath.  
  
"Now, first off, we wish that the androids be killed so they could never fight us!" Hunksy Trunksy commanded, behaving maturely for once.  
  
"Your wish cannot be granted."  
  
"WHAT!? Why the hell not?"  
  
"Because yo' nasty purple head be givin' me a headache. Shiiiiit. It's like takin' drugs and watchin' Barney," the Dragon winced. "Hurry up with the next wish. I got myself a woman back home and Imma be smackin' that as--"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"GOTEN! What is Mom feeding you?! And how much TV have you been watching!?"  
  
"But Gohan, I only watched educational TV. I learned sooooo much from Jerry Springer's final thought!"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"Fine then!" Vegige Wedgie boomed. "Now my wish! I wish to change my name! To something so sinister, so evil, intimidating that it strikes fear into the hearts of people everywhere! Especially the tall ones! Bwahahahahaha!!!"

Shenlong looked bored. "Could ya speed things up a bit, Tiny?"

Veggie Wedgie continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "I wish you to change my name to... PRINCE VEGGIE WEDGIE!"  
  
"Wished granted. But I hate to tell you this fool. Your name sounds stupid, no matter WHAT! I'm off, bitches!"  
  
"WAIT! I want BIG MUSCLES!!!"  
  
"I WANT MORE ALBUMS THEN P. DIDDY!"  
  
"Can I have a puppy?"  
  
¤¤¤  
  
"The end!" Goten said proudly. He glanced down at Videl who was sleepily quietly. "Oh no! She's sleeping!"  
  
"Okay guys," Gohan pushed them out of the room. "Goodnight."  
  
"Wait! I didn't get to talk about Cell, Jusenkyo, and Female Vegeta!!!"

"Good NIGHT, boys!"

Trunks looked up at Gohan, blue eyes shining. "You're coming too, right Gohan?"

"Yeah, give me a second." 

The boys retreated back to Gohan and Goten's room, arguing over something Gohan couldn't decipher. The older Son walked towards his girlfriend's bed, watching as her chest fell up and down rhythmically, her breath only a little faster than normal, her cheeks slightly red. He trailed one hand over her forehead and was satisfied that she seemed a bit cooler than earlier in the evening. He pulled the covers gingerly to her chin and kissed her lips softly before shutting the door behind him.

"Good night, Videl."

¤¤¤  


Videl tugged the heavy cover closer to her, shivering violently. She had checked the window three times and it was shut tightly. It was amazing how a person went from being so hot to being so cold in only a moment's time. Her arms were covered with goosebumps and she was sure her lips must have been tinged blue.   
  
She gazed longingly at her door, wanting to wake Gohan up and lay in his arms, wanting to feel warm again. She wanted to be able to talk, to complain, to do anything besides sitting on a bed freezing to death. A knock at the door interrupted her mental rants. She prayed it wasn't Chi-Chi, whom she had affectionately dubbed "Psycho Nurse from Hell, who would no doubt want to take her temperature -again-.  
  
"Videl?" Gohan whispered, closing the door behind him. He held a large Capsule Corp. sweatshirt in his hands. But how did he...? "I got this weird feeling and I felt your ki drop. So I kind of figured..." he trailed off, laughing sheepishly. He walked over to her bed and put his hands on her shoulders. "You're shaking," he said softly. Without warning, he pulled the warm sweatshirt over her head. "Better?"  
  
Even without the sweater, Videl felt a lot warmer with Gohan in her presence. He looked just as adorable in his tee-shirt and sweatpants now as he did a few hours ago. "I hope you don't mind that it's big, but it should keep you warm. Oh, I'll roll up the sleeves for you," Gohan folded the sleeves on the shirt a few times before it rested at her wrist. Videl watched silently, trying to cover the large smile on her face. "There. Well, good night Videl. Next time, as soon as you feel hot, cold, good, bad, whatever, come to me. Promise?" Gohan turned to walk away when he felt Videl tugging at his hand. "Videl?"  
  
Videl stared up at him, her voice mysteriously coming back. "Gohan," she rasped. "Stay with me. Please."  
  
Gohan blinked down at the girl. Had she just spoken? Has she just asked what he _thought _she just asked!? "W-what?" he stuttered intelligently.  
  
"Please," she whispered, her clear, blue eyes wavering slightly. "Please. I don't want to sleep alone."  
  
Oh, like he _really _needed convincing. "Okay," he vowed to get up as soon as she fell asleep, as not to make her feel awkward in the morning. And, to save himself in case his mother walked in. "I'll stay. No more talking. You'll lose your voice again." Play it cool Gohan. Don't let her know how nervous you are. Gohan moved to climb into the bed, falling flat on his face. He groaned softly.   
  
He looked up to see Videl silently laughing, her small shoulder shaking. He climbed into the bed slowly and laid back on an extra pillow. He looked to his left, seeing the hopeful look on Videl's face. He quickly held his arms out to her. She scooted closer to him, laying her head on his muscular chest. He wrapped his arms around her small trembling form, holding her closer to him. After a few minutes, her trembling stopped completely. Gohan softly stroked her back, wondering briefly if she could feel his heart threatening to jump out of his chest. He frowned as he realized if he tried to get out of the bed, he would wake the sick girl up.  
  
'I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes. Then, I'll quietly get back to my room. Son Gohan, you really are a genius!'  
  
Before Gohan had realized it, a few minutes had turned into the whole night.  
  
Oops.  
  
¤¤¤  
  
Vegeta stormed into the small house ignoring the annoying woman's rants and vowed to find the spawn of Kakkarot and demand a sparring match. Kakkarot was too busy stuffing his pathetic face and his own offspring and the youngest spawn of Kakkarot were still recuperating from their six am wakeup call. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to wake them up using Gallic Gun, Vegeta had noted. But the boys should have seen it coming a mile away!  
  
"VEGETA! Gohan's still sleeping! Can't you just wait for Goku? Stop being so barbaric!!!" The simple minded mate of Kakkarot screamed.  
  
Vegeta simply continued to ignore the woman, along with all the other people at the house who were waiting to be fed, including his own loud mouthed mate. There was the once-cueball and his dishwasher wife, the weakling who always grated on his nerves, the youngest spawn of Kakkarot and his own son (looking a bit worse for the wear, if not a bit burnt around the edges), Kakkarot himself, and a whole bunch of irritating people he really didn't feel like dealing with.  
  
Vegeta walked down the narrow hallway, readying himself to burst into Gohan's room, insult him a little, making the half-breed ready for a fight. But what Vegeta didn't expect was to see Gohan's bed... empty?  
  
Vegeta narrowed his eyes and continued down the hall, stopping in front of Videl's door. His dark eyes narrowed a bit. 'He's too much of a coward to ever...'  
  
Vegeta slowly cracked open the door, blinking in surprise. There, was Gohan, with his smart ass mate, together, in a bed, together. They were fully clothed, he noted, but together nonetheless. "Will wonders never cease..."  
  
Bulma, Chi-Chi, Goku, and Krillin appeared behind him. "Didn't I tell you not to--"  
  
"Hey, isn't that Gohan and Videl in there?" Krillin asked, his eyes widening.  
  
"Why's Gohan in Videl's bed?" Goku asked, consuming the last of his breakfast.  
  
"I bet I know," Bulma's blue eyes sparkled. "He should give poor Videl some time to get better. She's probably -really- worn out!"  
  
"The grandchildren!!!"  
  
"Shhhh! You'll wake them!"  
  
"KODAK MOMENT!"  
  
"Why's Gohan's hand on her--?"  
  
"SHHHHHHH!!!"

"You know, this reminds me of a story I once heard..."

"SHUT UP GOTEN!"

--------

****

-Soundtrack for Chapter 9-: _Tooi Kono Machi de (In this Distant Town), _Minaya Naomi; _I Hate Myself For Loving You_, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts; _Don't You See?, _Zard. 


	11. Misadventures in Returning to Normalcy

-**Note**-: Although this story technically could fit into the 10 years in between Japanese episodes 288 and 289, it is now falling quite rapidly in into the AU area. Those of you that follow the Japanese versions probably know that after powering up to Mystic, Gohan can no longer become SSJ in fear of the pure energy destroying the planet. In this story, well... we don't care. For the purposes of this little Gohan/Videl get-together, the episodes after 288 didn't happen AND Gohan can still go SSJ without destroying us all. Kapish? ~ Management   
  
-**Mailing List**-: We've set up a mailing list in order to inform you, dear reader, when new chapters are going to be posted. All you have to do to subscribe is send an email to Sunyzangel143@aol.com, Re: G/V Mailing List. From then on, you'll be privy to when new chapters come out, snippets of future chapters (perhaps, if we feel especially giving), other recommended stories, etc. Believe us, it's worth it.   
  
-**Disclaimer-**: Popsicle!Sharpner is ours. Aren't you jealous, Akira Toriyama?   
  
-**Warning**-: This is mainly a filler chapter, but it's necessary for further plot development. Or, at least, that's what we keep telling ourselves.   
  
-**Last Time-**: And now, to fill us in on what happened last time on the Misadventures of Videl and Gohan, our very own... Vegeta!   
  
**Vegeta ***walks in and crosses his arms over his chest*: Last time in this pitiful excuse for a fic in which I am not the star, my brat somehow rode that idiot's cloud even though he is a weakling and a troublemaker; Kakkarot's eldest half-breed whelp finally grew some balls and told his parents that he had taken the demon girl as his mate; the whiny, obsessive mate of Kakkarot hovered over Videl and made her wretched life even more miserable, which I am in favor of, incidentally; I, the Prince of all Saiyans, finally made an appearance as the woman, the youngest brats, myself and Kakkarot got ice cream, which was perhaps the only redeemable part of the previous chapter; that pathetic blond fool, who was dressed in a ridiculous popsicle costume, badmouthed Gohan and received a knee to his groin in response, which I thoroughly enjoyed; Mini Clone-of-Kakkarot will be getting a visit from me later on regarding the stories he told in which I did not have favorable roles; and Gohan impressed me once again as he ended up staying the night with his mate, in the same bed. Now that _that _menial task is completed, I am taking my leave. Places to blow up, people to maim. Especially Kakkarot. *evil laugh as he exits*   
**Ilana**: Heh. Well. That went fairly well don't you think K-chan?   
**Keryn**: *Falls over*   
  


  
**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Goten and Trunks)   
By**: CCS AnGeL00 and Absolut Angel   
**Brought to you by**: Waves and Rocks

  
  
  
-----------   
**Chapter 10**: Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in Returning to Normalcy   
-----------   
  
"Oh, so that was YOU that they saw the other day?" Gohan quickly stuffed books and various other things into his locker and slammed the door shut. He turned to Sharpner, who was lazily leaning back against his own locker. "I would have LOVED to see that."   
  
"Man, lay off," Sharpner whined, following Gohan to their first period class. "Your brother kicked me so hard I couldn't piss for a week!"   
  
Gohan chuckled, pushing open the door. "You must have really made him mad, Sharpner. Goten never gets mad at anyone."   
  
"Yeah, well," Sharpner had the decency to blush as he took his seat next to Gohan in the third row, "I'll know never to do THAT again."   
  
Gohan looked sadly at Videl's empty seat. He had missed her presence in school over the past couple of days, although he saw her every night when he got home. He hadn't slept in her room after that first night (he was way too embarrassed after everyone caught them together and it had taken HOURS to explain how they had gotten in that position, especially with his hand -- blushblushblush -- he didn't even want to THINK about it) and so he had taken to staying with her until she fell asleep and then retreating to his own room. It was much safer that way, to say the very least.   
  
Erasa plopped down next to Videl's empty seat. "Hey guys, did I miss anything?"   
  
"Only Sharpner's tales of his adventures as Giant Orange Popsicleman."   
  
Sharpner sputtered. "Shut UP, Son!"   
  
Erasa's blue eyes clouded in confusion. "Popsicleman?"   
  
Gohan laughed. "Wait 'til Videl hears that you were the 'mean popsicle' that Goten and Trunks were raving about."   
  
"What'll it take to keep you quiet, Gohan?"   
  
Gohan leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "I don't know, Sharpner. This information is priceless, if you ask me."   
  
Erasa poked Sharpner in the ribs. "What is he talking about?"   
  
Sharpner was about to employ his father's number one rule of impressing girls ("Deny deny deny") when the VidScreen at the front of the room popped to life. Marker's handsome face graced the screen just as Lillia flew into the room, straight pink hair flying wildly behind her. She took her seat in front of the three upperclassmen, breathing heavily, just as the opening musical sequence for OSTVs morning announcements played.   
  
"Whew," she said, trying to catch her breath, "I made it just in time." She turned behind her. "Hey guys."   
  
"Hey Lil."   
  
"Good morning, Lillia."   
  
"You look gorgeous today, babe."   
  
Lillia rolled her eyes at Sharpner and turned to Gohan. "Gohan, would it be okay if I dropped by later? Videl's been at your house for almost a week and I haven't been by to see her. I feel horribly guilty."   
  
"I was planning on going too, Lil," revealed Erasa. "You can catch a ride with me. If that's okay with you, Gohan?"   
  
The Saiyan teenager nodded. "Of course. She would love to see you guys."   
  
"Good morning, Orange Star!" Marker addressed the student body, smiling widely. "As you all probably know by now, I've been promoted here at OSTV from director to anchor, as Principle Naoki was impressed with my abilities on the air and general talent in the position. Go me!"   
  
"Dork," mumbled Erasa.   
  
"Here is what you've all probably been waiting for, your morning announcements," Marker looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand. "In a surprise upset, the girl's JV Soccer squad upped West Capital High School last night by a score of six to two. The Lady Stars thus ended their rather dismal season on a high note, finishing the season one and fifteen. Their source of inspiration, their captain was quoted saying, was Satan Videl, who is currently recovering from a rather severe illness. 'Upperclassman Videl actually cared about our team and pushed us to be the best we could,' said one team member. 'We figured that winning one game was the least we could do for her. Next year, maybe we'll even win two!'"   
  
Gohan gaped. "Those girls WON a game?! Unbelievable!"   
  
"In other news concerning Satan Videl, it has been reported to OSTV that she is well on her way to recovery, mostly thanks to Son Gohan, who, due to the kindness of his heart and probably having nothing to do with getting laid, provided Videl with the care that she needed after her father, the world-renowned Satan Hercule, left on a book tour of Southeast Asia. As you probably all know, How I Beat Cell All By Myself Without Help From Anyone has been number one on the booklists for over six months. I know THAT's going to be on my birthday wish list this year!   
  
"The Drama department has released the name of the play that will be performed for the Junior/Senior showcase.  It's called 'Dear Diary', written by our own talented Lillia of class J4. Tryouts will be held..." Marker glanced down at his papers, a confused look on his face. "'Whenever Videl gets back'. Well anyway, tryouts will indeed be held when Satan Videl gets better. I thought I was kidding when I said the world revolved around her!"   
  
"Well, some people's worlds anyway," Erasa nudged a blushing Gohan.   
  
"Prom and Yearbook supervisors are holding sign ups in the front lobby for anyone who'd like one last extracurricular activity for their college applications. Both committees are short members this year and would appreciate anyone willing to take part. The designated place for Orange Star High School's prom this year is the Plaza Hotel in West City, sponsored by Capsule Corporation, of course."   
  
Erasa bobbed her blonde head, short hair rippling around her. "Of course."   
  
"Who else?" Lillia asked, waving her hand.   
  
"I hope that doesn't mean Bulma and Vegeta will be chaperones," Gohan moaned. He brightened suddenly. "But yearbook editing sounds kind of fun. What do you guys think?"   
  
Lillia smiled. "It's a lot of work -- my older sister did it last year -- but it's also a lot of fun." She held up her new RCA digital camera. "I'm the head photographer and the editor in charge of photography, so if you sign up, at least you'll know someone."   
  
"Hm."   
  
"Only dorks work on Yearbook," said Sharpner smugly, leaning back in his chair.   
  
"Well," retorted Gohan, putting one finger on Sharpner's chest. "Only really big dorks dress up as popsicles in their free time." He put a tad pit of pressure on the blond boy's chest and down he fell with a screech, head over feet over the back of his chair. Erasa and Lillia giggled as Sharpner struggled back to his feet.   
  
"What's this about a popsicle?" Lillia cocked one eyebrow at Sharpner, who was blushing madly and glaring daggers at Gohan.   
  
"Nothing!"   
  
"The Main Office will be releasing student ranks next month, along with formal invitations to graduation," continued Marker, shuffling his pages around. "As per usual, the first and second ranked students will be required to make a speech at the ceremony, which will be held in the Hikaru Momamoto Center for Performing Arts at Tokyo University on June 24. Students that have completed their mandatory requirements for graduation will be notified in the months to come as the ranks are released. Please note that all band, orchestra and choral club members, all years, are required to attend. Details will be released at a later date."   
  
"I guess they're all gearing up for graduation," commended Lillia, twirling a pen around between her fingers. "You guys are so lucky to finally be out of here."   
  
"Aw, Lil," gushed Erasa, tapping the younger girl on the head. "We'll just have to kidnap you and take you to University with us."   
  
Lillia sniffled. "You better!"   
  
"On a final note, please be aware that all college applications are due to the College Office by five pm on Friday. College Advisors would like all students to be reminded that all recommendations should be sent directly to the Office and not pass through the hands of the students. Drop offs, as all of you should already know, should be brought to room one fifty-six and placed in the proper receptacle: In-State, Out-of-State, Out-of-Country. Once you begin receiving acceptances, or, sadly, rejections, they also must be reported to the College Office. I wish the best of luck to everyone and hope they get where they need to go!"   
  
"Yeah, stuck in the flower stop for the rest of my life," whined Lillia, clutching the pen in her hands. "You'd think that they'd want the oldest to inherit the shop, but NO. Rose is too ineffectual, they say. Potpourri has bigger plans, they say. What about my plans? Don't I count?"   
  
Sharpner placed his hands on her small shoulders in a calming gesture. He might be a jerk sometimes, but deep inside he was a really nice guy.   
  
Or so he thought.   
  
"Don't worry, Lil," he placated, rubbing her shoulders. "You'll make it in whatever you want to do. You just have to believe that you can."   
  
Erasa should also have been comforting her friend, but instead her attention was turned towards Gohan, who at that last announcement suddenly looked rather disturbed. His deep frown looked out of place across his handsome face. "Gohan? Are you alright?"   
  
Gohan swallowed and nodded, brushing his fingers over a large manila envelope sticking out of his bag. He blinked and quickly shoved it back where it came from. "I'm fine, Erasa," he replied, plastering on a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"   
  
"All club and team meetings are being held according to schedule today," concluded Marker, bundling up his papers on the table. "Except for the Chow Mein Club, which is having a small tiff about the menu for their next Formal Dinner: Chicken, Shrimp or Beef. If you would like to assist the club in their debate, please vote for your favorite Chow Mein at http://www.orangestarhigh.edu/~clubs/ChowMein.html," the URL flashed across the VidScreen. "That is all. Have a good day, and, as always, a better day tomorrow. Good day and God Speed."   
  
"That Naoki," complained their English teacher. "There are more clubs on this campus than there are students. " The second bell rang, signaling the start of first period. 'Attention everyone, class has begun."   
  
Sharpner, meanwhile, was entranced. "They have a WEBSITE? Man. I gotta check that out later. After I visit Videl, of course."   
  
"Oh," replied Lillia dryly. "Of course. And who invited you, lunkhead?"   
  
"THAT'S THE THANKS I GET FOR BEING NICE?!"   
  
"Mr. Sharpner!" The blonde teacher at the front of the room reprimanded him. "Please be quiet. Class has already begun. Please turn to page forty-seven of your textbooks and read the passages to yourselves... "   
  
The sounds of the rustling of papers and books filled the room from almost every seat. Erasa frowned as she noticed that Gohan, who was usually the first person to be ready for class, just continued to sit there, staring sadly at his bag. "Gohan?"   
  
The boy in question stood up suddenly, almost knocking Erasa's books off her desk. "I'm sorry," he apologized, walking briskly to the front of the room, "I have to go."   
  
"Is there an... emergency?" Inquired his teacher, gesturing to her wrist.   
  
"Kind of," was the reply as Gohan practically flew from the room. "I'll bring you a note!" He called from the hallway.   
  
Lillia, Sharpner and Erasa all blinked. "Well," commended the pink-eyed girl. "That was weirder than usual, even for Gohan."   
  
Erasa sighed. "Somehow, I don't think this is simple as a bank robbery."   
  
"Somehow," replied Lillia. "I think you're right."   
  
°°°   
  
Motomiya Yamato was the youngest Student/College Advisor at Orange Star, just out of graduate school and hopefully on his way to bigger and better things in years to come. For now, his job was to lead and advise those students, last names R through T, who were in need of, well, leadership and advice. And, professed most of his students, he was damned good at his job.   
  
Naoki better watch out, the good-looking man thought, sipping his coffee at his desk. Her job is SO mine.   
  
Most of the other counselors were bitter about his position, not only because he was the youngest, but because by the luck of the draw, he was responsible for the brightest students. Needless to say, he hadn't really had many problems with the bunch that were heading off for college, except for the occasional burnout and overworked student.   
  
Far and beyond, his favorite student (even though they technically weren't supposed to play favorites) was Son Gohan. There was just something about him that made you want to talk to him for hours. At the beginning of the year, they'd met to discuss undergraduate possibilities, and, faced with his test scores, grades and inherent intelligence, Motomiya had made it pretty clear that Gohan could do pretty much whatever he wanted to do.   
  
But there hid the problem. He had no idea what he wanted to do.   
  
Motomiya was surprised to learn that Gohan had never wanted to be anything more than a fighter, like his father. And sometimes he didn't even want to be that. Most of the things in his life had been pushed on him, and he didn't like the person that he became when he was pushed to his limits. He was uncomfortable with the idea that people depended on him, and had an ingrained fear that he would let those people down. He didn't know what he wanted to be because he was never given the choice; all of his life, he's lived his life for other people, and, he wasn't even really good at that.   
  
The solution that he had offered the teenager was one that didn't go over very well, although he'd promised he would consider it. Eliminate all of those extraneous factors, Gohan, Motomiya had told him. Apply to the best school that's farthest away, and then you'll be able to decide for yourself because there won't be anyone around to make those decisions for you. Gohan told his counselor that he was nervous about this proposition for two main reasons: one, that his mother was about as dependent on him as a mother could be on a child and he couldn't just go thousands of miles away for an extended period of time and think that would go over well with her; and two, his father had just returned from a lengthy vacation and truthfully, he didn't know how long it would be before his father left again. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that his advisor was right: he'd never be able to live his life on his own terms the way he was living it now. He had grabbed an application to the University of Verona, one of the most prestigious universities in the world that was incidentally over three thousand miles from Satan City, and vowed to complete it along with his applications to local schools.   
  
Since Yamato hadn't seen him since, he figured that Gohan had worked it all out and was fairly confident in the choices he made for after graduation.   
  
He'd figured wrong.   
  
There was knock on his door and it was opened by the principle's current favorite student, the likeable Marker. Since Marker worked at OSTV for the first half of first period, he couldn't very well have a class at that time. The principle had roped him into helping out at the College Office, because at this time of year it was always crowded and busy, and they needed all of the help they could muster. "Motomiya-sensei, Son Gohan is here to see --"   
  
Marker couldn't finish his sentence as the taller, darker-haired boy rushed by him, nearly knocking him over with his speed. " -- you?" Marker offered weakly, backing away from the office. Gohan had an ominous aura about him, and he didn't want to be around for the fallout. He rushed out of the office.   
  
Meanwhile, Gohan was brandishing that manila envelope in the air, and eventually slammed it into his counselor's desk with a BANG. "That's it. I can't do it."   
  
"Why, hello to you too, Gohan," remarked Motomiya wryly, picking up the envelope. "What is this?"   
  
"My application to UV," Gohan admitted. "I can't do it. I'm just letting you know. You can do whatever you want with that, because I'm not submitting it."   
  
"Why not?" When a sigh was his only answer, he beckoned Gohan to have a seat. "You do know that this is practically the best school in the world, and you have a very favorable chance at getting in."   
  
Gohan slumped in the hard wooden chair. "That's the problem, Sensei."   
  
Motomiya folded his hands together on the desk. "I'm afraid I don't understand."   
  
"Even if I get in, I can't go."   
  
"You can't? Or you won't?"   
  
Silence.   
  
"Is it money?"   
  
"No, it's not money," replied Gohan. "My mother likes her theatrics, but we've never had any problems with money, and my brother and both I have good sized college funds."   
  
"Your parents?" Motomiya questions.   
  
Gohan tapped his pointer fingers together. "Kind of. Not nearly the entire reason, though. It's very complicated."   
  
"Is it a girl?"   
  
Gohan ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the spikes. "It's just so complicated. She and I danced around our feelings for each other for so long, and now that's it's finally beginning to work out, I can't very well go three thousand miles away and either expect her to wait for me or put her own plans on hold to follow me to Verona. I can't do that to her... or to us."   
  
"And she doesn't plan on going that far away?" Motomiya asked, although he already knew the answer. After all, Satan Videl was his other favorite student.   
  
"Her mom died when she was really young," Gohan explained. "And her father... isn't exactly what he seems. Though he has his faults," many of them, Gohan thought, "she's very protective of him and she's all he has, really. She feels like if she went far away, she'd be deserting him."   
  
Motomiya nodded.   
  
"And also," continued Gohan, "she doesn't really know what she wants to do either. She thinks she'd be much better off at a more liberal arts college like Tokyo University. And so I've decided."   
  
"Decided what?"   
  
Gohan took a deep breath. "I know that we've discussed this before, about how I have the tendency to let people live my life for me. But this is different. With her -- Motomiya-sensei, Videl doesn't have to live my life for me. She already IS my life. Yes, a part of me is concerned about how she'll be affected if I go so far away. But this decision is purely selfish. I absolutely cannot, and will not, live without her. I'm going where she goes, wherever that is, whether it is here, or Alaska, or the ends of the earth. I would follow her anywhere. And therefore, I refuse to submit my application. I hope you can accept that as my decision. Because this is really the only decision I've ever made that matters."   
  
Motomiya stood up and crossed over to where Gohan sat. He handed him the manila envelope. "I can accept it, Gohan. But... if you don't even try... if you don't even take the chance to find out that you CAN do this, that you're CAPABLE of reaching those limits that you've set for yourself... would YOU be able to accept that? Would you be able to look yourself in the mirror every morning, asking yourself what could have been?" Motomiya smiled softly. "No one says that you have to go if you get in, Gohan. But I think that you deserve to give yourself the chance at knowing."   
  
Gohan frowned. "It might be worse that way, knowing that I could have gone but chose not to."   
  
"Listen to me Gohan, because this might be the most important lesson I'll ever be able to teach you while you're here at Orange Star. This is the time of your life where you'll be searching yourself for answers, trying to figure out who you are and where you want to go. You can't just give up now and surround yourself in ignorance. It is not bliss, Gohan. Knowledge, of your environment AND yourself -- well -- those are the last pieces of the elusive puzzle. You owe yourself that knowledge. If you don't let yourself have it," Motomiya shrugged, "you'll never really be complete. Although you may believe right now that Ms. Satan is the key to that completeness, you'll realize soon that it takes more than love to bring happiness."   
  
"You sound a whole lot like my psychology teacher, Motomiya-sensei," accused Gohan, but he was smiling in understanding.   
  
"What do you think I have my degree in, smartass? Now, get out of my office," he chided. "Do what you want with that application, Son Gohan, but make sure you do what makes you happy. Not anyone else. YOU."   
  
Gohan laughed nervously, running his fingers through his unruly hair. "Eh... I kind of caused a commotion in English before I left. Could I have a note saying that I was having a mental breakdown or something?"   
  
"It's okay. I'll go see your English teacher personally," Motomiya ushered Gohan out the door. "She IS very cute."   
  
"Motomiya-_sensei_! What would the rumor mill think?"   
  
"Well, they're too busy concerning themselves with you and Ms. Satan, don't you think? By the way," the counselor's grin was from ear to ear, "if you ever need to talk to me about anything -- anything like, say, sex, for instance -- I'm always here."   
  
Gohan groaned, clutching the envelope to his chest. "Not you too?"   
  
Motomiya patted Gohan on the back. "Especially me too."   
  
"I hate you all," sighed Gohan, gazing intently at the Out-of-Country receptacle.  Two lone envelopes grazed along the bottom of the black crate, compared with the piles and piles of applications waiting to be sent In-State and In-Country.  Motomiya's words had rung true, swirling around in his mind.   He sighed, dropped his application into the proper receptacle and prayed to Dende he was doing the right thing.

"I'm proud of you, Mr. Son,"  revealed Motomiya, grabbing Gohan's hand and shaking it.  "Now go to class before you really get in trouble."

Gohan nodded and rushed out the door.  Because he was too busy second-guessing himself and fretting over the consequences of his recent actions, it wasn't until he was more than three-quarters of the way to History when he noticed that there was something in his hand.  

He looked down and his mouth dropped open.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," muttered Gohan, hovering his hand over the trashcan.   Suddenly, a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Vegeta commanded Gohan not to rid himself of the object, as it might indeed come in handy one day.

Gohan blinked, and blinked again.  What the hell?

"Some people have inner voices," commented the voice-that-was-but-wasn't-Vegeta, "You have been deigned with an inner Vegeta."

"Fuck, I'm really having a mental breakdown," cursed Gohan, hand still poised over the trashcan.  "Dende, please help me back to the path of sanity from which I have strayed."

The voice growled.  "You should consider yourself lucky, brat.  You could have your dimwit father or that scarred imbecile Yamcha as an inner voice, you know.  And then where would you be?  Up shit's creek without a paddle, that's where.  At least I've the sense you need to get some sort of a bearing on your pitiful life.  So, Clueless Wonder, if I were you, I wouldn't throw that away."

Gohan glared.  "If I keep it, will you shut up?"

  
"I make no guarantees."

  
"Fine."  Gohan tucked the object into his back pocket and was satisfied at the inner silence.  "I really am going nuts.   Totally and completely cracked.  I can't believe myself sometimes, really, I've got to have my head examined …"

Gohan's voice, still rambling on about his sanity, trailed off as he entered his classroom.  Down the hall, Motomiya stuck his head outside the College Office door, smile on his face and bowl of complementary condoms in his hand.  He could only laugh.

°°°  
  
Videl leaned back in the couch, almost shaking with annoyance. All her needs had been attended to, she had been given her medication, love and plenty of attention, but there was such a thing as suffocation. Apparently, the Z warriors had no idea what that meant.   
  
She was tired, sick, and looked like hell. Her short black hair looked like it ate the last brush that tried to come near it, her usually milky complexion looked like glue.  Her bright blue eyes were glassy and unfocused and dark purple bags painted her lower eyelids. She was agitated and drugged, annoyed and incoherent.  To make matters worse, there were ten or so people wandering around the Son household, some of which she didn't even like to associate with when she was well. But they were all friends of Gohan so she would suffer.  For him. For now.  
  
Think pleasant happy thoughts, Chi-Chi had said one morning when medicating her.  She narrowed her eyes in contemplation. She would make -him- suffer after she was well again. And he would _enjoy_ every minute of it. There, she thought brightly, a nice pleasant thought.   
  
Krillin was the only person in the living room with her at the moment, as all of the other visitors were currently mulling around in the kitchen.  He was talking pleasantly enough, much to Videl's surprise, not cracking a single joke about, her, Gohan, or both.   At a lull in the conversation, Videl picked up a book and started to flip through the pages.

 "So, Videl. What are you reading?" Krillin was straining himself not to ask/joke/talk about her and Gohan's newfound relationship. He felt bad for girl, being stuck with Chi-Chi all day.  Krillin shivered. Besides, Videl was pretty strong and -he- certainly did not want to be on the receiving end of her anger.   
  
"I'm reading a book about a girl who is stuck in a house with a group of fighters. The girl inevitably goes crazy and kills all of them one by one," Videl set her book down looking pointedly at Krillin. "Hey, did you know that I know twenty-seven different ways to kill someone with a paperclip?"  She twirled the offensive object around in her left hand, satisfied with the look of pure terror developing on the warrior's face.   "Vegeta said he would teach me the other seventy-three ways when we start training."  The pretty girl blinked innocently at her companion.  
  
"Sounds... interesting,"  struggled Krillin, looking around frantically for an escape route.  "What hun? Oh, sorry Videl, Eighteen's calling me!" Krillin ran out of the room faster then a man on fire. Before he went, he took her book with him, hiding it under one of Gohan's advanced linear algebra books, just to be safe. This family could certainly lead someone to commit murder after all.   
  
"I'm home!" A familiar voice called out, followed by a few others. Videl groaned when she realized who one of them was. The group in the kitchen relocated to the living room, just in case something interesting happened.  Videl dropped back onto her pillow, hoping to disappear.   
  
"Hi Videl!"   
  
"How are you feeling?"   
  
"Turn off the video camera, Marker!"   
  
"Yo sexy-- OUCH!"  Sharpner's greeting was thankfully interrupted by Lillia's fist.  She smiled smugly as he grabbed his nose in pain.  
  
Videl rubbed her temples. "Hi guys. I'm feeling better thanks."   
  
"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier to visit," Lillia sat next to her on the couch, Videl's makeshift bed at the moment.  "I've really been swamped at the store."

Videl smiled softly.  "I understand.  I really loved the flowers that you sent, by the way."

"Gohan picked them out," singsonged Lillia, who turned towards a blushing Gohan.  "He spent hours looking for just the right ones."

Gohan flamed so red Videl could have sworn she saw steam coming from his ears.  "Heh… it was a really nothing, Videl…"

"Right," said Marker, aiming his camera towards the vase of gigantic red and pink roses, lilies and daisies.  _'Nothing' my ass_, Marker thought, doing a three-sixty around the flowers.  The vase was practically taller than he was!  _Man, Gohan scored major pointage with those babies_.

"Oh look," a deep voice interrupted from the doorframe of the kitchen. "It's Mr. Softy." Vegeta, satisfied with mortifying the young teen, continued to smirk at his discomfort.

Sharpner blushed heavily at the curious look Videl was giving him and tried to avoid her gaze. "I—I don't hear the truck! WOW! AMAZING! Maybe that guy has like super hearing and can hear from miles away!" Sharpner flailed his arms in distress.

"… Maybe," Erasa patted his arm, as if talking to a child.

"Sweetie," Chi-Chi and the rest of the adults migrated from the kitchen to join the teens, although some, namely Krillin, hung back. Behind his wife.  Not that he was scared or anything.  And he definitely wasn't cowering. "Did you drop off your applications today?"

"Yes Mom," Gohan said, nearly screaming. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? It's not like I have something to hide. Nope, not me, not Son Gohan! NOW SHUSH," he whispered in her ear fiercely as Videl cocked an eyebrow at him.

!!BAM!! Chi-Chi's frying pan connected with it's target. "HOW DARE YOU TALK TO THE WOMAN WHO GAVE YOU LIFE IN A MANNER THAT IS SO DISRESPECTFUL!? Did I raise you in the streets? Didn't I put food on your plate? Didn't I give you a roof over your head?"

"Actually, for some time there I was living on my own with Piccolo—"

!!!BAM!!! "DON'T YOU EVER INTERRUPT ME! Oh, what have I done to deserve such sons? Soon Gohan will be the leader of some gang, getting involved in only Dende knows what!" Chi-Chi sobbed on Bulma's shoulder.

"Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?" Videl inserted helpfully as Gohan rubbed his sore head. "Although, I think it's safe to say that Gohan won't join a gang and get arrested. Hey, wouldn't it be neat if I could arrest Gohan though?"

"That would be SO cool!" Marker cheered along. "Then I could make a documentary called: The Life of Son Gohan.  Ordinary schoolboy by day, drug kingpin by night! Or, it could be a sad, cheesy romance about a beautiful girl crime fighter who falls in love with the tall, dark, and handsome assassin who in turn seduces her--" Marker was interrupted with a punch from Lillia, who looked quite proud of herself for hitting not one, but two targets tonight.

Gohan shook his head, trying to get the dancing Piccolos out of view. "Sorry Mom."

"It's okay," Chi-Chi calmed herself. "I have good children. Very good children."

"Keep telling yourself that Chi-Chi," Krillin shook his head at Chi-Chi's theatrics.

!!!BAM!!! Chi-Chi's frying pan hit Gohan's head a third time for good measure. "MOM! I didn't even SAY anything that time! GEEZ!" Gohan held his head, making sure it was still attached to his shoulders.

"Okay, I feel better now," Chi-Chi's face contorted into a bright smile as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!"

"Good afternoon," Miya said, bowing to the matriarch of the Son household. "I believe Videl is—"

"MIYA!!!" Videl miraculously jumped up from the couch to glomp Miya. "I've missed you sooo much! I thought I'd never see you again."

"Videl," Miya's amethyst eyes widened. "I've only been gone a week."

"It's been a week too long," Videl whispered, as not to insult her friends. Miya looked from fighter to fighter, wondering about Chi-Chi and her frying pan. Should she call child services? What exactly did they do to poor, sick Videl while she was gone? "But they took very good care of me."

"I'm glad to hear it," Miya said detangling herself from Videl. "It's been a pleasure meeting all of you. Hmm… which one is Gohan?" Miya's smile grew.

"I am… ma'am," Gohan said quickly, before anyone had a chance to comment.

"Videl," Miya whispered, her eye's sparkling. "You didn't tell me he was so polite. Or so cute!"

Videl coughed loudly. "Well, thank you for everything Chi-Chi, Goku, Gohan." Videl picked up her belongings. She glanced nervously at Gohan, who was being nudged by Yamcha on one side and Krillin on the other. Was she supposed to kiss him goodbye in front of all these people?

Goten jumped at Videl's feet. "Bye Videl! Come back soon, when you're better so we can play!" He quickly jumped into her arms, hugging her with his small arms.

Trunks jumped up and down a few times. "Yeah. Next time we can bake _four_ thousand cookies!"

"How many cookies?" Miya asked Videl, raising a slim eyebrow.

"Long story," Videl rolled her eyes at the little Saiyans. "Very long story."

"We should be going too," Lillia said dragging Marker, Shapner and Erasa out of the small house. "Get better Videl!"

"CALL ME!" Sharpner screamed. "OUCH LILLIA! Don't pull so hard, it took two hours to style it just right.

Gohan twiddled his thumbs idly. "Um… feel better Videl. Here," he thrust Videl's medication vials at Miya. "She has to take one of each twice a day after eating."

"Why thank you," Miya walked out. "I'll meet you at the car, dear.  Don't dawdle too long, we've got a long drive ahead of us."

"'Bye Gohan," Videl said rolling her eyes at the look in the adults eyes. She rose to her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks again." With that, she waved to the adults and sauntered out to her car, trying to control the blush on her face. Gohan blushed at the knowing looks on the adult's faces.

"SCORE! I GOT IT ON VIDEO!" Marker cried from the backseat of Sharpner's car, sand-colored head sticking out of the window. "MWAHAHAHA!"

"Oh, young man!" Chi-chi screamed from the front porch.  "Young man with the video camera!  You will make me a copy of that, won't you?"

Gohan sighed miserably as his girlfriend sped away in the car.  He'd been so used to having her around all the time.  Just knowing that she was close by made him forgot about all the madness that surrounded him.  And there was a lot of that, that's for sure.

"Sure, Mrs. Son," called Marker as Sharpner pulled his hovercar up into the air.   There was a suspicious slapping sound and a yelp as Marker was pulled back into the car.  "Lillia!  Has anyone every told you that you've got pretty violent tendencies for a flower arranger?"

"Hey, no horsing around in my car!  I just vacuumed the upholstery!"  The small blue car sped out of sight to the tune of Sharpner's whining.

Gohan shook his head and headed back into the house.  The journey of a man in love is fraught with chaos.  Utter and complete chaos.

He had almost made it into his room when a heavy hand clamped down onto his shoulder.  Gohan turned around in surprise to see Vegeta looming before him.  "You better treasure the time you have with the demon girl," drawled the older Saiyan, ever-present smirk plastered across his face.  "Because once she is completely recovered, I doubt her training regimen will spare any time to spend time with you."

Gohan narrowed his eyes.  "Vegeta, aren't you making her training schedule?"

Vegeta's smirk shifted into a broad smile.  "Well, well.  Maybe you really are a genius."  With a small wave, he turned to walk away.  "Later, loser."

With another sigh, Gohan banged his head against the wall.   Repeatedly.  

Not surprisingly, it didn't help.

°°°  

-**Soundtrack for Chapter 10-: **_Love Stinks_, J. Geil's Band;  _Wild Wind_, Yu Yu Hakusho OST (*drools*  Kurama AND Hiei *dies*)

-**Next Time on the Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**-:  We take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to delve into the mind of a medicated teenager in **Misadventures:  Omake One.  **We'll return to the main story in **Chapter 11:  Videl's Misadventures in Teaching, Training and Learning**, in which Videl starts her training with our favorite Saiyan Prince, temporarily takes over classes in her father's dojo, and finally (but also accidentally) learns the complete truth about Gohan's ancestry.


	12. Misadventures in Teaching and Learning

-About Misadventures-: _The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan_ started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z. However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a _horrible_ job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things. But anyway). Common housewife, humph. We don't think so. From there, _Misadventures_ has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done _this_ and _that_ with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist in this fic. But you already knew that. 

-Mailing List-: If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject: Mailing List. Your name will be added to our ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

-Disclaimer-: We own nothing but the clothes on our back and original characters Marker and Lillia. And Popsicle!Sharpner, who, oddly enough, has been the topic of many conversations as of late."Does he melt?" One reader asked curiously.

Only when it's hot, dear.

-Last Time-: We took a break from our regularly scheduled programming to delve into the mind of Videl, heavily medicated, and, we think, pretty disturbed. Who dreams Shakespearean plays, anyway?

Videl: Dorothy dreamt Oz, you know.

Ilana: Technicalities.

Videl: And she wasn't on painkillers, either.

Keryn: That's enough out of _you_.

Goten: Once, I had a dream that Daddy was a criminal and Vegeta was a policemen and they talked in funny accents and there was a girl singing about clouds and there were lots of guns!

Ilana: And Goten dreams Broadway plays. 

Keryn: Les MisÉrables, no less. Makes a believer out of me.

Goten: Lay what?

Keryn: Or not.

-Warning-: We tried to get this one under twenty pages. Really, we did.

The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan (Sometimes Starring Demonic Saiyan Children)

By: Keryn (CCS Angel00) and Ilana (Absolut Angel)

Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks

  


-------------------------

Chapter 11: Videl's Misadventures in Teaching, Training and Learning

------------------------- 

Videl leaned back in the bathtub and sighed. It had been three days back at her house, and, even if it was a bit boring, it certainly was relaxing. There were no evil nurses from the depths of hell, hyperactive Saiyan children, or sarcastic Princes…

No Gohan, either, that little voice in the back of her head reminded her. She sank deeper into the floral scented water, letting the sweet smelling bubbles cover her completely from chin to toe. He'd been over to visit three times, bringing her homework on Thursday and Friday, and then just to spend time with her yesterday. To Videl's utter embarrassment, Miya hadn't let them upstairs at all ("Your father would kill me, dear), and had chaperoned each visit. But, Videl had to admit sadly, misplacing some of the bubbles with her pointer finger, that wasn't even the hardest part.

The hardest part was saying goodbye.

"I am pathetic," she sighed out loud, her voice reverberating off the tiled walls. Her bathroom was actually her favorite room in the house. That, and the training facility, but that was a given. The room was filed with fixtures of black marble and glass, and it was dimly lit, giving a more ethereal feel. All of the flowers people had sent while she was sick littered the modern room, the pinks, purples and reds a sharp but beautiful color contrast to the black and whites.

She sighed again. Flowers reminded her of Gohan (who had brought her at least one single rose for every day she was sick), and she felt even more dismal for missing him so much. "This can't be healthy."

Once upon a time, the only boy that Videl could tolerate (and even that male only barely) was her father. Her childhood was spent immersed in sports, martial arts and school, and before meeting Gohan, she barely showed interest in the opposite sex at all. Those boys that weren't blindly in love with her or deathly afraid of her were in direct competition with her, as their chauvinist ideas didn't allow a girl to be better than them in – well – everything. From the time that Videl moved to Orange Star City (as it was then called), she was indeed superior in all forms of martial arts and a handful of other sports, including baseball, soccer and hockey (with full checking and _everything_). She was also beautiful and the top student in her class.

Boys either loved her or were jealous of her, or both. Girls simply hated her for being so beautiful and smart, and entrancing all of the boys in her class. Her mother was gone and her father was rising up in the ranks of martial arts, and was hardly ever home.

She'd never felt more alone in her life.

To pass the time, she trained. She trained and trained, until she was sufficiently better than all of the children in her class and eventually, even the instructors. When her father opened his own dojo, she assisted the instructors in many of the advanced classes. She was a straight A student and the star pitcher and shortstop on one of the local little league teams. As she was rising the ranks in her own right, she reflected that she should have been happy.

But she was miserable. Although most of her peers were in awe of her, none would admit it. And none would approach her, or even speak to her outside of school. In short, Videl Satan had no friends. And, fueled by pure jealously, most of the girls in her class were downright malicious.

And then, one day, a more vicious group of girls descended on Videl, confident that their numbers would cancel out any advantage that Videl would have due to her athleticism. They were hurling all sorts of insults and names at her when someone stepped in between and simply told the group of bullies, in no uncertain terms, to go to hell. And if they didn't want to listen to her, she had three older brothers who would _make_ them listen, and she pointed to the fence between the elementary school and middle school, where her brothers were waiting on the other side.

"I could have handled them," lied Videl, who had been rooted to the spot the entire time. Their insults had struck a nerve, after all. A motherless tomboy, they had taunted, who had no friends and who would never be liked because she was strange and because everyone was afraid that she would beat them up. Her fists had been balled up at her sides, but she could not force herself to throw a punch, because she would be proving them right. Literally backed against the playground wall, tears had stung behind her eyes and she was flailing for a comeback before the other girl had shown up. She was even smaller and thinner than Videl (who was almost the smallest person in the entire school), with long blonde hair so light it was almost white. Her soft blue eyes had softened at the obvious lie, and laced one arm around the taller girl.

"My name's Erasa," the girl had told her. "Want to be friends?"

Videl blinked. Erasa was well liked at Orange Star Elementary and as far as Videl knew, she wasn't the kind of person that would associate with an outcast like her. "R-really?"

"Of course!" Erasa smiled. "You play baseball, right? My father and brothers keep raving about the only girl on the team; about how good she is and how she strikes out everyone in the league, especially Sharpner, that inflated idiot, and how she's going to lead them to the first State Championship in ten years! My brother Jyou finally admitted that she was you, and so I HAD to come over here and introduce myself! Anyone that can handle my brothers, my father AND that fool Sharpner has GOT to be best friend material!" She said all that very fast and Videl couldn't help but smile back. "Want to play at my house after school? Maybe you could teach me some of that fancy Kung Fu stuff that you do."

At the blonde girl's display, Videl struggled for something to say. "It's not Kung Fu, it's martial arts."

"Whatever. I want to impress all the boys also! Did you know that half of them are in love with you? That's why all the girls hate you. But I don't hate you, I think you're absolutely awesome." The blonde girl had practically pushed Videl back into the school and later to her house. Later Videl would learn that Erasa was like that all the time -- full of energy, bouncing around rooms, talking a mile a minute."It's how you have to be when you're the only girl in a family of six. Otherwise you fade into the background. Oh! Want to go shopping? I saw the cutest skirt the other day that I know would look fabulous on you! Don't you dare complain, you have the cutest figure in our class! Videeeeeeeeeelllllll! Come back here!"

"Erasa, you dork," thought Videl at the present time, turning on the faucet and pouring more hot water into her bath. Their friendship had cemented that day, and had been best friends ever since. For a while, it had made Erasa an outcast as well, but the blonde didn't seem to mind. And then, when school started again the next year, the students had received Videl in a much less abrasive manner. She was always skeptical, especially since most of them had flocked to her after she had won the Junior Martial Arts Tournament and everyone thought that her father had saved the world.

Videl laughed, scooping up bubbles and blowing them from her hand. "If they only knew, those poor twits."

She tried not to be suspicious of people, but supposed that superficial friendship was something that she would have to deal with. It was something that she never had to worry about concerning Gohan and his friends and family, since they all knew what really happened the day of the Cell Games. In fact, if it weren't for Gohan, she never would have found out the true events of that horrendous day. She admitted that her father was a little supercilious, but his fame and reputation was really all he had. She was sure that if her mother was still alive during the Cell Games, her father would never had let the whole thing go as far as it had.

But it had, and, all things considered, Gohan and everyone (with the exception of maybe Vegeta) were pretty good-natured when it came to her father taking credit for all of their accomplishments. It just showed Videl how different her and Gohan's fathers were; while Goku's family's safety and privacy were all he really cared about, all her father cared about was how he looked to the rest of the world. It was surprising that she ended up as normal as she did with such an insane family life. But Erasa's family had been her saving grace, as her parents and her brothers had welcomed them into her life as if she'd been part of the family. And for that, she would be ever grateful.

Erasa always looked down upon those that wanted to use Videl for her fame. Sharpner had misinterpreted the first meeting between Gohan and Erasa, revealing to Erasa that he thought that she sounded just like someone who was only friends with Videl because she was famous.

"You know I'd never do that," Erasa had told this all to Videl later of course. "I only wanted to see how Gohan would react knowing that your dad was so famous. And besides, you're a great conversation starter! He was soooooooooo cute! Too bad he's taken now."

That's right, he's taken, thought Videl with a grin. She'd only been soaking in the tub for an hour, but she was beginning to become prune-like, not to mention if she stayed any longer, Miya would wonder if she had drowned. She slowly stood up and, after a quick rinse in the shower, dried herself off and pulled on a tank top and sweat pants. Towel drying her hair, she reached for the knob of the bathroom door and was to unlock the it when she heard a scream from downstairs and was suddenly thrown back by the force of the door being burst open. 

"Holy SHIT!" Videl wasn't adverse to profanity, when the moment suited her. Her incredible reflexes had allowed to her land deftly on her feet, but the towel that she was using to dry her hair had slid to cover her face. She pulled it off quickly and her mouth dropped open when she saw who was standing in the middle of her bathroom. "What the – VEGETA?!"

¤¤¤

Bulma hung up the phone and sat down at her kitchen table, crossing her legs elegantly. "Well, dear, there's good news and there's bad news."

Son Gohan, the other person present in the Briefs' kitchen at the moment, groaned. He was sitting innocently enough on the countertop, talking to Bulma about Videl's part-time job (which started the next week). Bulma had been describing what exactly Videl would be doing and was he sure he didn't want a position also (he was _sure_), when Trunks had wandered in, grabbed a couple of turkey sandwiches from the fridge, mentioned that Vegeta had gone over to the Satan household to have a little talk with his new student, and wandered out.

Gohan, in the very nature that was Son Gohan, had panicked. "Why is there always bad news?"

"I just spoke to Videl's housekeeper, Miya is her name, I think, and it seems like Vegeta walked in on Videl while she was bathing," Bulma revealed, taking a bite out of an apple.

"HE WHAT?!" Gohan's eyes were flashing dangerously. He moved to actually fly out of the kitchen window, but Bulma motioned him to stop.

"That was the bad news. The good news is that she was fully dressed, just coming OUT of the bathroom," continued Bulma. The information eased Gohan's nerves just a tiny but, but he was still angry. Who is VEGETA to even THINK about walking in on HIS GIRLFRIEND in the bathroom! The NERVE! "You know how Saiyans are with nudity."

Gohan DID know. His father and Vegeta were completely immodest, as he was told all Saiyans were. Nudity was apparently not problematic for Saiyan. "I know, Bulma. But I'm Saiyan, albeit only half, and I absolutely have a problem with other Saiyans seeing MY GIRLFRIEND naked!"

Bulma grinned. "Well, she wasn't naked, so, no big deal, right?"

"She could have been!"

"Even if she was," said Bulma, "Saiyans don't perceive nudity as anything sexual unless it's their mate that's naked. Or so I've been told."

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT VEGETA TO SEE VIDEL NAKED ANY TIME SOON!"

"Calm down dear, of course he won't see her naked," Bulma tried to calm Gohan, who at the moment, resembled a volcano that was about to explode. "Forget I said anything."

"You know, he used to beat me up when I was little, but I'm bigger than him now! And taller! I could take him!" Gohan continued to rant, pacing around the large kitchen. Bulma sighed and leaned back, finishing off her apple. If she knew Gohan (which, she did, and rather well), he'd probably be at this for at least another twenty minutes and she knew better than to try to intervene. "At least six inches taller! Maybe even eight!"

"That's true, dear." Munch. The apple certainly was delicious. Should she dare have another? Apples were okay to eat, unlike, say, that chocolate cake she had last night for desert. Mmm, that was better than the apples. Maybe she should have a piece of that. Hm. Dilemmas, dilemmas. She was always trying to watch her weight, and her mother always says, "A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."But then again, her mother always used to say that about Vegeta, as well. She sighed and walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing the remaining chocolate cake from its hiding spot behind the vegetables. Her gluttonous husband and son never checked that particular shelf. She smiled wickedly, ecstatic."Gohan, would you like a piece of cake?"

"—and furthermore, I don't care IF he's supposedly my Prince and – did you say chocolate cake?"Gohan cut his rants short at the mention of food. "Seven layer?"

Bulma cut herself a moderate sized piece, took a bite and shoved the rest of the cake towards Gohan."Fudge and dark chocolate, baby."

"Is this an attempt to derail revenge attempts on your husband?" Gohan asked, but he was eyeing the cake nonetheless.

"I wouldn't put any of those plans into action until Videl actually starts her training," Bulma cut another small slice and slid the rest of the cake in front of Gohan. Handing him a fork, she said, "I overheard Vegeta talking to Goku about her training schedule and it sounds pretty rigorous." 

Gohan sighed and dug into the cake. "I know that Videl thinks she can handle it, but I'm really worried that she's getting in over her head this time. I mean, Vegeta's not even human!"

"Neither are you."

"He can't just train Videl like he's been training Trunks, you know?" Gohan continued as if Bulma hadn't spoken. Chewing carefully, he swallowed before speaking again (no doubt Chi-Chi's influence, Bulma thought wryly. Too bad she couldn't get her husband and son to understand something like simple manners). "I'm not worried about him hurting her on purpose. It's the stuff he doesn't _mean_ to do that scares me."

"If there's one thing about Vegeta, it's that he takes great pains to carry out plans meticulously and is very responsible," defended Bulma, carrying some plates to the dishwasher. "I know that Trunks is a bit stronger than Videl because of his genetics, but I assure you that I would not allow Vegeta to train with my child if I thought it would end badly. I trust my husband, and it's apparent that, although she'd never admit it, Videl trusts him too. You should follow her lead, you'll worry a lot less that way."

"Bulma, look who my mother is. Worrying runs in my family," complained the teenager.

Bulma ruffled Gohan's hair. "You're worrying over nothing."

"I hope so."

"You should also hope," came a voice from the front door, "that worrying is the only trait you inherited from that wretch of a woman."

Gohan jumped from his place and practically flew to the front hallway. In front of him stood the Saiyan Prince, Vegeta, dressed immaculately in a white cotton t-shirt and black training pants, towel thrown around his neck. "Vegeta! Explain to me exactly why you had to go bursting in on Videl while she was IN THE BATHROOM!"

"Believe me," drawled the Prince, walking slowly towards the kitchen. Gohan followed closely behind."My intention was not to, as you humans say, take advantage of the demon child in her undressed state. I merely detected that her _ki_ was returning to normal levels and chose that moment to inform her that our training starts tomorrow. Your jealousy, however cute," that damnable smirk appeared, and Gohan had to resist the urge to punch Vegeta in the face, "is unwarranted."

Gohan raised an eyebrow as Vegeta reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a carton of orange juice. He took a swig from the carton. "Demon child?"

Bulma, who hadn't left the kitchen, groaned. "Vegeta."

"Well, her name is Satan, isn't it? And she's merely a child, like you," Vegeta further annoyed Bulma, who smacked herself in the head when her husband put the carton back into the fridge. "Demon child suits her perfectly, I think."

"Vegeta, what did we talk about last night?" Bulma asked, dragging herself up and pulling open the fridge. With her pointer finger and thumb, she reached in and pulled out the orange juice out plopped it into the garbage. Taking advantage of the open fridge and his (however small) height advantage, Vegeta reached over her shoulder, grabbed a gallon of milk, and, to Gohan's amusement, started to drink out of the carton once again. Bulma gawked. "My GOD! VEGETA! YOU'RE AN ANIMAL!"

"Yes, I remember you saying that last night," remarked Vegeta wryly, finishing off the milk. 

Gohan brought his hands up to his ears. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it."

With one flick of the wrist, the milk carton landed in the garbage can. "I would have liked to start training today, but the demon child had prior engagements for this afternoon," Vegeta turned to Gohan. 

"Her father is still away, so she's taking over his Sunday classes at the _dojo_." Gohan supplied. "It's mostly kids Goten and Trunks' age. That's why I'm here, actually. She asked me to ask Trunks if he wanted to come and help her out.

"If she wanted someone skilled to assist her, she should have asked me," snorted Vegeta, turning to walk upstairs.

Gohan sighed. "She wants to TEACH the kids, Vegeta, not maim them."

"I resent that, brat. I've been training Trunks since for years and I've never hurt him." Vegeta paused, seeming to be deep in thought. "Much."

"Stop joking around and go shower," spoke up Bulma. "You stink. Did you go over to the Satan residence right after your morning workout? Yuck. No wonder Videl threw you out." When Vegeta didn't move, Bulma put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. "Well? What are you waiting for? And get Trunks on the way there and tell him to stop playing videogames and get ready to leave."

"Infuriating woman," complained Vegeta, but nonetheless disappeared around the corner, most likely about to do exactly what Bulma just told him to do. Gohan marveled at the fact that Vegeta, who would probably Final Flash ANYONE that tried to give him orders, submitted totally to Bulma. He probably did it unconsciously and hated it, but Gohan doubted that Vegeta could ever tell Bulma, "No."

That was something Gohan understood very well. Which is why he was at Capsule Corp. picking up Trunks, stopping by at the Kame house to pick up Goten (where his parents were having breakfast with Krillin's family), and heading over to the Satan Dojo to watch Videl teach first and second grade boys and girls the techniques of Satan-_ryu_. Although Gohan figured that Videl was leaning towards teaching more eclectic forms, hence inviting the boys. Goten studied under his mother, who had studied under her own father, the Ox King, who had studied under Master Roshi. And so Goten technically practiced Kamesennin-_ryu_, although his own style was more or less a mish mosh of things he'd learned from his mother, father, and brother. And Goku well – he'd been under the tutelage of everyone from Roshi to King Kai to those weird guys on Yardrat. And Gohan practiced a form of martial arts that baffled even Vegeta sometimes, combining Namekian fighting techniques learned from Piccolo with Kamesennin-_ryu_ and all of the things he'd picked up from his father, not to mention all that training he did under the Supreme Kai. 

And who knows what kind of forms Vegeta had been teaching Trunks. Vegeta practiced his own trademark style of martial arts. Vegeta-_ryu_, Gohan thought with a laugh, as Trunks barreled down the stairs. Knowing Vegeta, it was probably a lot like the Saotome-_ryu_ of Anything Goes -- whatever it takes to win.

"I'm ready!" Trunks called, barreling down the stairs.

"Good, because we're running late as it is," replied Gohan, glancing at his watch. "And we need to pick up Goten at Roshi's.

Bulma forced Trunks into a jacket and pushed both boys out of the door. "Now, Trunks, try to stay out of trouble, will you?"

Trunks looked at his mother thoughtfully. "I don't usually go out looking for trouble, but somehow, trouble always seems to find me. 'Specially when I'm with Goten.

"Why am I not surprised?" Bulma sighed in resignation. "Alright then. At least promise that you won't beat up any other children today."

"I promise!" Trunks said, enthusiastically. Trunks paused thoughtfully. "Not including Goten… right?

¤¤¤

Videl shook her head continuously as she dragged her feet to the dojo. Why was it that she had volunteered to teach this class again? Hadn't she learned her lesson from coaching the girl's soccer team? And, Videl thought wincing, twenty or so pre-pubescent boys –and- girls didn't really seem much better, even in comparison.

The question still remained. Why?

Because, she answered herself, placing her hand on the sliding door, her father asked her to, of course. She had always wanted to please him, in her own subtle way, and this had to be the manifestation of that hope. Well, now look where it got her. She was roped into babysitting hyperactive brats all afternoon. She frowned when she realized that she was beginning to sound like Vegeta.

Videl braced herself before walking into the class and yanked open the dojo door, taking large strides to the middle of the wooden room. The loud talking and laughter stopped immediately as she stood before her students. She scanned the room, recognizing one of Erasa's younger brothers, Ken. She nearly slapped herself; she had almost forgotten that all of the boys in that family had taken lessons at the Satan Dojo at one point, even, she thought with a smile, Kyou, the family genius and world renowned klutz. While his identical twin brother Jyou could probably give her father a run for his money (and whose life's ambition was to beat Videl in a sparring match), shy Kyou had quit after only two weeks. 

She had grown up with those boys, both three years older than she, but by far her favorite boys were the youngest two that she spent her childhood days babysitting for. Ken and Haruki, holy terrors with light blonde hair that swept over bright blue eyes and the faces of angles, were affectionately dubbed by Videl as "Search and Destroy" after the bubble gum and peanut butter incident when she was in seventh grade. Although she'd cut her hair countless times since then, the first time was pretty traumatic and she almost hadn't forgiven them.

And now Search was nearly thirteen and Destroy a little older than nine. She couldn't quite believe how much time had gone by and how much everyone had changed. Destroy's absence didn't surprise her though; when it came to the athleticism, he was more apt to take after his older brother Kyou then his other two older brothers, both skilled martial artists.

She ignored the whispers that floated around the room, clapping her hands loudly to call her class to attention. She cleared her throat nervously, instinctively wishing that she'd brought her whistle with her. She really did hate public speaking. "As you may or may not know," Videl started, her palms starting to sweat. "My father is away on business so I will be teaching this class for a few days." _Get a grip, Videl, you're not making a State of the Union Address. It's only a couple of teenagers._

She was met with blank stares, so she took a deep breath and went on. "My name is Videl, if you don't know. I'm looking forward to getting to learn more about each and every one of you."

More blank stares. 

Tough audience.

She was struggling for something else to say and praying for divine intervention when she heard a loud,"Hi Videl!" Search waved from the back, jumping up and down. "I'm glad you're going to teach the class. It's going to be fun."

Videl smile briefly, her prepared speech coming back to her. _Thank you Search. _"Martial arts should be fun. But you also must be serious, because many situations can put you in dan—yes, young man with the blue hair, do you have a question?" Videl pointed to a tall boy in the front who was waving his arm frantically.

"Um, me and my buddies over here want to know if you have a boyfriend," the blue haired boy asked smiling, his braces glinting in the bright lights of the dojo.

Videl crossed her arms, making an indignant noise. She hoped that Goten and Trunks grew up to be a little more tactful than this kid, although the way they were going… "I don't see how that's relevant to martial arts -- "

His smiled widened. "Keisuke."

"—Keisuke," she finished. "And furthermore, I don't see how that's any of your business.

"Well, you said you wanted to learn more about each and every one of us, and we just want to do the same with you," Keisuke said innocently.

"Yea!" another boy with red hair called. "So what's your bra size?"

The whole class burst out laughing, except for Search, who merely looked annoyed. He crossed his arms, mimicking Videl's pissed off state. "You guys better be nice to Videl. She is the best crime fighter in the city and can kick your—"

"Thank you Search," Videl sighed, sitting up on a wooden table propped up against the mirror at the far end of the wall. Her voice was stern but she was fighting a smile. "Now, this is a martial arts class and I'm your instructor, so you will treat me with the same respect that you would show my father. Now -- what exactly was the last thing he taught you?"

Silence.

Oh God. Trunks.., Goten,.. Anyone. HURRY UP AND GET HERE! I'll even take Vegeta, for crying out loud!

"Excuse me, Videl," a small girl piped up. "He usually just lectures."

"He lectures? About what?" 

"How he beat Cell all by himself without the help of anyone," chorused half the class, stars in their eyes.

"We all got a signed copy of his book, too, and lately he's just been reading out of it and stuff,"Keisuke piped up, holding up his copy.

Of course.

"Although I'd really like to meet those blonde haired guys," Search said. "'Cause even though Mr. Satan told us that their technique was all lights and tricks and junk, it still seemed really cool!"

"My mom is a reporter for ZTV and she told me that there was this one guy with purple hair that was absolutely gorgeous," one girl called out, blushing. "They say that's why all those cameras broke; none of the women on the staff could concentrate on their jobs because that guy had such a tight a -- "

"That's enough, I think," interjected Videl. Teenagers and their hormones, she thought, hopping off of the table and cracking her knuckles. "Martial arts," said Videl, "is really seventy percent mental and forty percent physical. If you have no strategy and merely attack blindly, you are no better off than over strategizing.

Hands immediately went up.

"Yes, I realize it doesn't add up to one hundred percent."

Hands dropped except for one. A very small, scrawny boy with large glasses kept his trembling hand raised.

"How can fighting be more mental then physical?" the boy asked in a whisper of a voice.

"I'm going to tell you a story and then you can judge for yourself," Videl took a sip from her water bottle. A story should pass just enough time to allow the boys to get there.

The class groaned.

"Hey, would you rather listen to this or one of my father's glory speeches?"

Silence.

"I thought so. Well, here it goes. Once upon a time in a location very close to the Mediterranean Sea, there lived a man. He stood out in his small costal town for two reasons: he was both the ugliest and richest man in the villa. He could buy anything he wanted, but the only thing he wanted was someone to love and to be loved in return. In a last ditch effort to fulfill his dream, he went to the park square where homeless people had set up temporary shelter and found a young and sickly looking girl with bright violet eyes. Looking into those radiant orbs, he knew that under the grime and the sickness was a beautiful and intelligent girl who needed the same things he did. And so the rich man took her into his home and tried his best to nurse her back to health and happiness. He bought her the best of everything, supplied her with the richest foods from all over the world and adorned her with expensive clothing and jewelry. Before long, she had transformed into the beautiful woman he knew that she was. She was happy with this transformation, and, because he had grown to love her so much, her happiness was all that he needed to make him happy.

"The man had made his fortune operating a large shop in the middle of town and once his wife was healthy, he made sure that she had a hand in running it. After a couple of blissful years, a plague struck the small Italian villa and the man was stricken down with the dreaded disease. As he deteriorated before her eyes, his wife realized that she no longer wished to be married to such an ugly and sickly man. Constant pampering had turned her loving personality into a selfish and ungrateful one, her beauty into scorn. As she was forced to wait on her husband, she believed that, although he had waited on her all those years ago, she deserved a better life than this. 

"One night a young army general came into the store while she was minding it alone. His boyish beauty and bright golden eyes had immediately captured the woman's attention. He entertained her with stories of the war and the perils of fighting, and she entertained him with her beauty and her flirting. She made no secret of her unhappiness with her marriage or with her attraction to the solider. Although the military man had been able to fend off her advances for more than a week, one night it finally led to more."

"More?" Search asked in a hushed voice

  


"They had become lovers. While her husband lay close to death in bed, she stole out of her house and met her lover in the dead of the night. They continued their rendezvous for close to a month before the general was again called off to war. His lover cried and cried and wrote endless letters to him, professing her undying love for him. She was soon rewarded with letters from her absent lover, who claimed that he would love her until the end of time, and when he returned, he would rescue her from the horrible life that she led. She cherished the letters and was careful to keep them close by without giving herself away to her husband."

The kids in the audience were entranced with the story. It was almost as they had stepped into wartime Italy, watching the ungrateful woman try to hide her secret from her husband, who had wanted nothing more than to love and to be loved in return. Some of the kids mulled over the relevance of the story to martial arts; the others merely let Videl's voice immerse them into the story.

Videl smiled at the attention her new students were paying to her. She started to walk slowly around the training room. "However, the husband was a very smart man and realized that something was wrong. Milling around his house, he soon found the general's letters to his wife in a large precious glass box he had given her as a wedding present.

"'Put all your secrets in this box,' he told her on their wedding night. And the ungrateful wife had done just that.

"Her husband read the letters, his heart breaking with every proclamation of love. He felt he had no choice but to do what must be done. He pulled his shotgun out of his closet and, despite the lethargy and fever he suffered from, left his house on his own personal mission.

"A shot was heard and the neighbors all gathered to see what happened only to see a man with khaki pants lying on the floor, pooled in his own blood."

Keisuke's eyed widened. "He killed the general?"

"Just listen. He told a neighbor to go call the cops because he had killed a man. When the cops came, they were a bit shocked by the story in itself.

"'Your wife was cheating on you, and you killed her lover? Usually men kill their wives because they are weaker,' a cop revealed.

"'I couldn't kill my wife because she is what makes me happy,' the man replied.

"'So you killed her lover?'

"'No, I told you, he is overseas.'

"'Then why…?'

"'After I read those… those… disgusting letters, I realized who was the cause of all my problems. He—he—who always came to the door smiling, obviously knowing what was in those letters. Always smiling. So I killed him.' The man looked straight at the cop. 'I killed the mailman, arrest me.'"

The class was silent.

"What did you learn from this story?" Videl asked, crossing her legs and leaning back on the table.

"Never trust the postal service," Trunks said from the doorway. He and Goten rushed in and settled themselves next to Videl, who rolled her eyes.

"Hi! I'm Trunks and this is Goten. We'll try not to hurt any of you," Trunks said casually.

Goten jumped up and down. "Hi! I'm Goten and I like to fight and eat! And I also like Videl!"

Videl groaned. "Thanks guys. These guys are going to help me demonstrate some very basic techniques later on and help to demonstrate one of the most important principles of martial arts."

Trunks nodded. "You should never underestimate an opponent based on physical looks alone."

Goten poked Trunks in the ribs. "Right. Even if he's short."

"Or goofy looking," Trunks countered, scowling.

"Aww, they're so cute!"

Keisuke, ignoring both Trunks and Goten and the squeals from the girls behind him, spoke slowly."About that story you told before… I think it's about choosing your enemies wisely. He felt betrayed by his wife and his heart was broken, but he could only take solace in murdering a third party that probably had nothing to do with the affair. So, ironically, he was really no better off than before he killed the postal worker."

Videl's eyes lit up. "That's right! Just as you choose your friends wisely, you must also take care in choosing your enemies. You must take on opponents that truly challenge you and encourage you to become stronger than you are. There is no honor in always defeating those that are weaker than you. 

"Like bullies who pick on weaker kids," a girl pointed out.

"Exactly!" Videl sighed in relief. These kids had some hope after all. 

"Yeah Trunks, like when I pick on you," Goten interjected, grinning. "It might not be honorable, but it sure is fun!"

"Goten!"

Videl disregarded them. "There are other mental factors that are very important. Things that you are afraid of are very important. That can determine the outcome of a fight. So, now, who wants to be brave and tell us what they are afraid of?"

"Heights," the same girl who had made the comment about bullies. "I don't like high places."

"Perfect," Videl clapped her hands together. "Now, picture this. You're fighting on top of a tall building, and you freeze up because you are afraid of heights. Then what do you do?"

The girl was silent.

"That's why it's important to be totally focused when you fight and clear your mind of everything except for the fight. If you allow yourself to think of anything else, especially your fears, your distraction will be significant enough for you to lose the mental battle before the physical battle even starts," Videl looked at the young man in glasses. "What are you afraid of?"

The boy looked down at the floor.

"Come on, everyone has fears. Don't be shy," Videl prodded gently. 

"I'm afraid of letting everyone down," he said simply, his face coloring. "My father died when I was six, and now I'm the man of the house. I have to take care of my mother and my little sister because right now I'm all they have. But—I'm always afraid that something will happen and I'll just freeze up… and let everyone down."

Gohan gripped the wall from his place in the doorway, his breath catching in his throat. How… it was almost if someone had shined a giant spotlight into his soul and expressed his deepest fears through this kid. Hearing them being vocalized were like a slap in the face… like staggering through a crowded street, lost and naked. He held tighter to the wall, afraid that his legs would give at any moment, especially when he realized that Videl had yet to respond. What would she say? What _could_ she say? Would she roll her eyes or… would she laugh? He would die if she laughed, collapse and take his very last breath at that moment.

Gohan almost jumped out of his skin when a heavy hand clasped his shoulder. He had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't realized Vegeta was walking up behind him. "She isn't cruel. She certainly has the ability to be, I've surely seen the potential for such, but… just watch and stop being so pathetic. It's truly a sad sight to see."

"I know that," Gohan whispered as the scene unfolded before their eyes. 

Videl kneeled in front of the boy, placing her hand on his small shoulder. "You should never think that you're a let down. Everyone, especially your mom and your sister, just wants you to try your best and you know what? That's good enough. No one's perfect, not even close. We are all humans and humans make mistakes, and that's something that everyone understands. You are you, and that's all anyone will ever expect from you. Just open your eyes and your heart and you'll see it's true."

The boy looked up, searching her face for laughter or teasing and found none. Gohan let out a sigh of relief, feeling lighter then he had in days. Vegeta folded his arms across his chest, fighting to control himself from cuffing the boy upside the head and calling him on his idiocy.

Videl leaned down closer and smiled gently. "No one expects you to save the world after all."

It was right there and then Gohan was positive that even with Videl's temper, curiosity and pride, she was the most perfect girl in the world.

And she was his.

At the lovestruck look in Gohan's eyes, Vegeta snorted and turned to walk away. "Boy, you're such an idiot."

¤¤¤

Surrounded in the comfort of her blankets, pillows and pleasant dreams, Videl Satan almost didn't hear the alarm clock as it chimed six a.m. Today, Monday, the day that is usually associated with all things unpleasant, was going to be pure hell. Today she would resume her practice of free weights and morning jog, which she had taken a sabbatical from for the last week and a half and prayed she hadn't become too out of shape. Then she would shower and head off to school, which would be like entering the depths of hell itself. No doubt the various fan clubs and stragglers of student body would be there to welcome her back, as Marker had said on the phone last night and she hoped jokingly, that Orange Star had just fallen apart at the seams in her absence. And then – then she would be subject to the whims of the devil himself as she started her training sessions with Vegeta. She hoped she would survive to see Tuesday.

A tap on her window forced her to shake off the last remnants of sleep. Videl tucked a stray piece of unruly hair behind her hair, threw off the covers and hopped out of bed. She trudged slowly over to the other side of the room and pulled apart her curtains, cursing the individual that dare disturb her, although she had to get out of bed anyway.

"But soft," came a familiar voice from somewhere below her field of vision, "what light through yonder window breaks."

  


"I'm going to break a couple of your bones, Gohan," she replied, her voice strained with sleep. "No one should be so Shakespearean so early in the morning."

He smiled, putting his hands up in front of him. "I've got inspiration. Now get out of bed and put on some decent clothes so we can take a little jog around Satan City."

Videl blushed, looking down at herself. With Miya gone for so long and a deficiency in the ability to do her own laundry, she'd run out of her normal sleep time wear. She'd thrown on an old nightgown, semi-transparent and only a couple of inches from being indecent. She crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously and scowled. "What are you, my Super Saiyan Alarm Clock?"

"Invented and patented by Mrs. Bulma Briefs, of course," he said, floating down to the ground. "I even flash when you ignore the incessant beeping."

"I don't doubt it," she said, disappearing into the corners of her room to change. He waited patiently for her to emerge and when she did (wearing her usual workout clothing) and floated down to the ground beside him, he faked a look of disappointment.

"But I thought you were going to run in that little thing you had on!" 

Videl smacked her boyfriend playfully over the head as they jogged around her block. "Ha. Very funny. I don't see how you can be so cheerful so early the morning."

He shrugged. "I'm lucky I can get to sleep a couple of hours a night. I learned to appreciate seeing the sunrise."

Videl picked up the pace, leading the duo passed her former Junior High School playground. "Are you ever going to tell me about that appreciation?" Passed Lillia's flower shop and Sharpner's parent's store. Passed the Dojo. "About before Cell, I mean."

"One day," he promised. "Just… I'm not… I don't know if I can relive that part of my life yet. And things are going so well between us I just don't want to ruin things now."

"I'm sure nothing will be ruined."

He stopped, noting the redness of her face and the way she was running out of breath. It had only been about three miles, but he decided she'd reached her limit. He, on the other hand, hadn't even broken a sweat, but that was to be expected. "You can't overexert yourself, let's fly back."

"Alright," she relented, in a very un-Videl-like fashion. "Although later we will address this subject again."

"Yes, honey," Gohan lifted off of the ground and sped off, Videl screaming in his wake.

"Who are you calling honey?!"

Two hours later, after Gohan had returned to his house and Videl to hers, the two met up again, resuming their usual walk to school together. Gohan couldn't keep the smile off of his face; he'd really missed her. But he did notice something odd despite his overwhelming happiness. She was unusually silent and walked at a somewhat slower pace than customary.

"Did you lift weights this morning?" he asked her, noting the guilty look on her face. "You did."

Her guilty face immediately shifted to annoyance. "I'm eighteen years old, Gohan, and the last time I checked I came completely equipped with free will."

He looked down. "I know," he said softly. "I'm just worried about you."

"I only did three sets of twelve with twenty pound weights for only six exercises," she admitted. "That's only a fraction of what I usually do. I admit it could have been too much, but that's only because my body is learning to get used to it again. I appreciate that you're worried about me, but only I really know what my body can handle." Noticing the look on his face, she sobered. "But I'll try to be more careful."

He nodded. "I spoke to Trunks and he told me that Vegeta doesn't plan on starting you in hand-to-hand training for another four weeks. He has to know you've been trained in all of the beginner stuff. I wonder what he's waiting for."

"He could want to start from scratch," she reasoned, "although that would certainly be a waste of time. I'm nowhere near his caliber, but I'm still a ninth degree black belt in six forms."

Gohan laughed. "Only ninth?"

She ignored him. "When I'm through with my training, there won't be a degree to describe my martial arts proficiency." She giggled. "Don't worry Gohan. I shall use my newfound powers for only good._Pro bono_."

"When Vegeta's through with you, he'll recruit you to take the helm as his second as he prepares his plans to rule the universe."

"Don't be silly," she replied. "He'll be _my_ second. Oh look, we've arrived. It's like a nightmare come true. Don't people have anything better to do than make my life miserable?"

It was as if every single student that ever enrolled in Orange Star High School was waiting on the lawn for her arrival. They must have been there all night, erecting posters and banners, all welcoming her back and praising her appearance. Each group of students stood oddly in clumps around the courtyard, erupting in applause and cheers as she and Gohan came into their view. The Orange Star Band Leader waved his baton and the band began to play. A few moments later, the Orange Star chorus emerged, dressed in white tee shirts with Videl's face plastered across it, and set themselves up in front of the band.

"We love you Videl, oh yes we do

We don't love anyone, as much as you

When you're not near us, we're blue

Oh Videl, we love you!" 

The object of their affection groaned and put her head in her hands. "Make it stop, Gohan, make it stop."

"I'm kind of enjoying it. See the way the cheerleaders are spelling out your name using only their limbs? Very creative."

"I hate you."

Erasa came jogging up to the pair, her short blonde hair trailing behind her. "Videl! Hey!"

Videl sighed. "Finally, a normal person."

"The drama club has agreed to smuggle you into the school, on one condition," exposited Erasa, tucking her hair behind her hair. 

Gohan raised an eyebrow. "Why are there always conditions?"

"Well," said Erasa. "You were going to try out for the Junior/Senior showcase anyway… right?"

Gohan laughed. "Good luck with that, Videl."

"Oh no," said Erasa, pulling both teenagers towards the drama club cluster. "It's a two for one deal. They want both of you."

"Hey, I don't need to be smuggled into the school. The crowd isn't here to worship _me_," Gohan protested.

"We love you Gohan, oh yes we do

We don't love anyone as much as you

When you're not near us, we're blue

Oh, Gohan we love you!"

Erasa blinked innocently up at Gohan, whose smug look quickly turned to mortification. "How do I get myself into these things?"

Videl patted Gohan on the back. "By just being you. That's all it takes."

"Oh joy."

By the time the trio arrived in English, Videl had been serenaded six different times, read twelve different poems, given two-hundred and twenty-two cards of well wishing, watched three interpretive dances based on her life, given seven portraits painted by the art club and –

"A partridge in a freaking pear tree," Videl finished, explaining to Lillia exactly what had happened earlier. "When high school is over, I'm moving far, far away from insane people."

Lillia offered a sympathetic smile. "You're adored."

"I wish I was ignored."

Gohan snorted. "Like that will ever happen. The people in this city love you. It's named after you, for crying out loud."

Videl slanted her eyes. "My father. It's named after my father."

"And who were you named after?"

"I hate that you're a genius," she groaned.

"He's not a genius," piped up Sharpner. "He's just lucky."

Videl nodded. "You're right, Sharpie. He's lucky he's not an idiot like you."

"Don't call me that!"

"Good morning Orange Star!" The familiar _pop_ of the VidScreen and Marker's cheerful salute signaled the morning announcements. Thankfully they were relatively short, with little coverage of the morning's debacle. This probably had something to do with the hour of begging she did last night for the preservation of her sanity. On another note, she learned that her father would be back in three days. It was nice that he notified the news channels before his daughter. Real nice.

"Remember," concluded Marker, "the Junior/Senior showcase tryouts are all next week, so be sure to sign up! Tickets will go on sale two weeks before the actual show and proceeds will go to local charities. Good luck to everyone who has their hearts set on the lead characters; rumors have it that two of the most popular students have those in the bag." He smiled widely. "That means you, Vi. And you too, Gohan." He shuffled his papers on the desk. "This is Marker signing out. Be sure to have a good day and a better day tomorrow!"

Not for the first time that day, Videl considered flying out of the window. As if reading her thoughts, Gohan clamped a gentle hand onto her shoulder. "Tomorrow will be better."

Thinking of her upcoming training session with Vegeta, Videl grimaced. "Maybe Vegeta will just put me out of my misery."

"Nah, he likes you. He'll keep you around."

"Why do you say that?"

"'Cause I know him. And one day, he hopes you'll kick my ass."

She betrayed a smile. "And that might be the coldest day in hell, my friend."

Their teacher stood up in the front of the room, telling them that it was time to open their books. Gohan removed his hand from her shoulder and held his book up in front of his face. When Videl did the same, he leaned over to whisper in his ear. "If not, he knows you're diabolical enough to help him take over the universe."

"Think he'll teach me how to blow up stuff?"

"For the sake of the world," replied Gohan, smirking, "I hope not."

¤¤¤

She dressed carefully, not really knowing what kind of attire would be appropriate for the beating of her lifetime. She decided that her usual casual workout clothing would suffice, she wouldn't really mind if her white tank top and black spandex shorts got torched. She pulled on socks and her sneakers, taking her time tying the laces. Was she completely insane to be doing this? What drug was she on when she agreed to let Vegeta be her teacher? Her _master_? Was the end result worth the humiliation?

Probably, she thought, taking off out of her window towards Capsule Corp. All her life she's heard about reaching her potential. She had the potential to be greater, stronger, and perhaps most importantly, more confident about herself. Before she met Gohan and the other fighters, the only person she thought was stronger than her was her father. And not only was she not as strong as Gohan and his friends and family, her power level was _insignificant_. It was an ego blow more than anything else. 

And then they watched her lose to Spopovitch. Hell, was that the hardest match she'd ever fought. She'd beaten people bigger and stupider before, but he'd had magic and Babidi on his side. He gave her a royal ass beating. But a couple of good things came out of the match, perhaps most importantly obtaining the knowledge that Gohan cared about her. It still brought a smile to her face remembering the look of utter worry on his face when he came to see her after the match. And the look on her father's face – priceless. She probably would have fallen in love with Gohan just to spite her father, but she didn't have to.

She had already fallen in love with him.

She couldn't pinpoint the time or place, but she did remember her head fighting a losing battle against her heart. Every time she thought of him, a smile would unconsciously float to her face. Every time she saw him, she would positively glow. Every time she went somewhere, she automatically searched for him. Her head would always be in the direction of the door or the window. She hardly could contain her excitement when he waited for her to walk from class to class, or offered to walk her home. She was turning into the girls she'd loathed all of her life, the lovesick ones that doodle boys' names on their math homework and play "He loves me" with daisies (which she'd only done once, thank you very much). After the disastrous events following the World Tournament and they'd tried to return to normalcy, she'd found that one thing had changed irrevocably.

She was completely, utterly and totally absorbed in Son Gohan. 

"Are you just going to stand there like a moron, or are you going to enter?"

She hadn't even realized that she was already at Capsule Corp., standing idly outside of the outdoor entrance to Vegeta's precious gravity chamber. He stood in front of the door, arms crossed over his chest with a bored look across his sharp features. His hair, as usual, stood straight up, defying gravity. The man could fly, couldn't he? You could stand to reason that nothing else on his body would adhere to rules of physics. She wondered if it stayed that way even when it was wet. Gohan's hair was always spiky and sticking straight up, even when wet. Did that rule apply to all Saiyans?

"Well? Are you waiting for a written invitation? I don't have all day, little girl."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she stated, brushing past him into the gravity chamber. "Keep your spandex on." She stepped in and took a look around. She'd seen it before, of course, on one of those school tours of Capsule Corp., but she hadn't ever had a close look. It looked impressive. And dangerous."Nice place you've got here." It looked much smaller than she would have expected. She took a walk around the circular chamber, trailing her fingers over the controls. "So what do you do? A hundred Gs? Two-fifty?"

"Five-hundred," Vegeta replied, pulling her hands off of the controls. "And I wouldn't touch anything if I were you, unless your father doesn't expect me to return you in all three dimensions."

"Ouch."

"It's not a pleasant experience to be flattened."

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever --? "

"Of course not!"

"Just checking."

Vegeta disappeared into a back room. "I'll be right back. Don't touch ANYTHING."

Something about the tone in his voice made her unusually obedient. That's why she was so surprised when a screen about ten feet above her came to life. She almost jumped back when she saw Gohan's smiling face stare back at her. "Hey Videl."

"Damn Gohan," she said, still a bit shaken. "You almost gave me heart attack."

"Just checking up on you," he explained, his cheeks reddening. "That's okay, isn't it?"

Videl smiled. "Sure. Where are you, anyway?"

"Up in the main house, getting ready to tutor Trunks in something or other. Stop by before you leave to say goodbye, okay?"

Videl nodded. "Don't worry, Gohan. I'll be in one piece."

"It's the state of that piece I'm worried about."

She laughed. "Goodbye, Gohan."

"Bye."

"I thought I told you not to touch anything," came a deep voice behind her. She whirled around to see Vegeta carrying a couple of capsules, none that she recognized offhand. 

"I didn't," protested Videl. "The screen just came on by itself."

Vegeta pressed the cap of the first capsule and tossed it to the ground. "The brat, right?" The object that emerged from the capsule was one that seemed unfamiliar. It was a square-shaped, black LCD display of some sort. It resembled her laptop screen.

"Everyone under the age of twenty is a brat to you," said Videl, wondering exactly what kind of torture device he was going to subject her to.

Vegeta walked over to Videl. "That isn't true. Bulma's mother is still a brat and she is over sixty. Lay your hands on the surface of this object." At her hesitation, he rolled his eyes. "It isn't going to kill you."

She did as he told her, laying her hands across the black object. It was firmer than she'd expected. A neon green light traced the contours of her palms, giving a slight tingling sensation.

"Subject identified," came a mechanical voice from the object that sounded suspicious like Bulma. It almost scared her as much as Gohan appearing on the GR screen, but she was able to keep her hands on the screen. "Fingerprints and handprints indicate Satan Videl, age eighteen. Current occupation: auxiliary police. Current health condition: recovering from decreased lung capacity. Current performance capacity: seventy-five percent. Please step on the scale."

Videl scrunched her eyebrows. "The scale?"

Vegeta threw open another capsule, which apparently held a digital scale and treadmill. He inserted a wire from the LCD screen to the scale and motioned for her to get on. "Should I take my shoes off?"

"Just get on!"

"Analyzing…" as soon as Videl stepped onto the scale, the LCD display erupted in a rainbow of colors. "Ms. Satan's current height is… five feet, zero inches. Her current weight is… one hundred and seven pounds. Her current percent body fat is… seven percent. Goal weight for optimum performance is… one hundred and twenty-seven pounds. Goal body fat percentage for optimum performance is…eight percent. Printing recommended exercise program and nutritional information to reach aforementioned goals in… four weeks." 

Vegeta nodded. "That's what I thought."

Videl narrowed her eyes. "If that machine is saying what I think it's saying, I need to gain twenty pounds in four weeks."

"That's right," agreed Vegeta, throwing open the last capsule to reveal electrodes. "Our training cannot begin until you are at your optimum. You would be severely hurt otherwise."

"Vegeta!" exclaimed Videl as he started placing electrodes in various spots around her body. "I've never weighed more than a hundred and ten pounds in my life! I lose weight by breathing!"

He thrust the last two electrodes at her. "Place these by your heart," he instructed. "As I'm sure you know, muscle weighs more than fat. And you must build twenty pounds of muscle before we can start training. You are far too petite anyway."

"Please step on the treadmill," came the electronic voice again. She did so, still wondering how she was going to be able to gain that much weight. It was just impossible. "Initializing Treadmill Test. Please stand still." Lights flashed. "Electrocardiogram initialized. Treadmill initialized. Beginning at two miles per hour."

Videl walked briskly on the treadmill. "Look Vegeta -- "

"If you want me to train you, you must do as I say," he interrupted, flipping through the printouts. "Hn. Technology. I could have instructed you the same way." He turned towards her as the treadmill increased its speed to three miles per hour. "You will follow a high protein diet, eliminating most simple carbohydrates from your diet. Fat intake will be monitored carefully. There will be no caffeine of any kind and no sugar."

"WHAT?!" Videl lost her momentum and stopped completely, nearly sliding right off the treadmill. She was barely able to grasp her footing and jump back on, preventing a serious accident. She struggled to catch her breath as the treacherous treadmill kept on increasing its speed. "No caffeine? No SUGAR? Are you insane?"

"That is debatable. But this diet is not," replied the Saiyan, leaning back against the controls. "You must build muscle mass or I cannot instruct you in anything safely. You should consider yourself fortunate that I have the patience to wait four weeks. It's a good thing you are female and human, otherwise I would have given you only a two week limit."

The treadmill finally slowed and came to a stop. "Satan Videl, initial testing is complete. Please remove electrodes and step off the treadmill." She did so, breathing heavily. "Lung capacity and heart rate will return to optimum levels in… seventy-two hours. Please record progress every seven days."

Videl quickly calmed as her breathing returned to normal. She had to do this, she reasoned. She committed herself and she was going to follow through. So she wouldn't have chocolate or cheesecake or soda for the next four weeks. The coffee was going to be hard, but she would manage. She would have to manage! She was Satan Videl and she would not give up in the face of adversity.

A strange feeling came over Vegeta as he watched her internal conflict. Affection? Not quite, but almost. "You have warrior blood flowing through your veins," he said, capsuling the scale, treadmill and electrodes. "Where it came from I haven't the faintest idea, as we all know that your father is weak and honorless. You have the drive and the will to tap into your potential, much like your mate, though when he taps into his potential, he taps into the fiery Saiyan blood that mixes with his human blood."

"Gohan hasn't really told me much about the Saiyan race," said Videl, ignoring the mate comment.

"Please place your hands on the LCD display," the screen asked. When she did so, it proceeded to scan her hands once more. "Security program initialized. Identification complete. Authorization: Satan Videl. Briefs Bulma. Briefs Trunks. Dr. Briefs. Prince Vegeta." Videl raised one eyebrow. "Son Goku. Son Gohan. Son Goten. When entering the gravity chamber, please place left hand on the LCD display adjacent to the door. Security devices will be initialized, turning off gravity simulator as door opens."

"That prevents unfortunate mistakes," explained Vegeta.

"You mean squishing."

"I suppose," Vegeta pressed the power button on the black object (it said a cheery goodbye to Vegeta and bid Videl a fond goodbye and told her that it was nice meeting her) and tucked it into its capsule."It is up to Gohan to tell you what he deems necessary about our race, but I can tell you this. There are theories to why the half-breed children are exceptionally strong, much stronger than most of the pureblooded Saiyans have ever dreamed of becoming. It is the human blood that makes Gohan, Goten and Trunks so powerful. Their energy level is far lower than purebloods, but their potential energy… it is at incredible levels. 

"They key to this hidden power is what also makes Kakkarot so strong. He was raised as human, and therefore was uninhibited with his feelings, a Saiyan taboo. These silly human emotions – the anger, the jealousy, the love – fuels their Saiyan blood. Good natured Gohan could never have defeated Cell, I am sure of that. 

"The woman had told me this all one night, one night before I left on my journey to achieve what I believed to be my birthright. I should have been the only Super Saiyan! I should have been the strongest! I had believed that Kakkarot's emotions had made him weak. But I admit that I was mistaken. His emotions were the very basis of his strength. He had the love of the fight and the will to win, but he also had the desire to protect those that could not protect themselves."

Videl wondered where her new teacher was going with all this. "You are much like Kakkarot,"continued Vegeta, gathering up the printouts. He handed them over to Videl, who could not believe their sheer bulk. She guessed she had a bit of reading to do. "You have the blood thirst, you revel in the fight. It's a rush, even more so when you emerge the victor. It is only a fraction of the way a Saiyan feels as he is fighting, but it is close enough. However, you also have human feelings, and these emotions drive your spirit. This is why I believe you have the potential to be much greater than you are. You have the potential to be the strongest human to ever have lived, and I would like to see that one day."

The wheels turned in Videl's head, information processing. She wanted to know more about the Saiyan race. She almost needed to know. She had been patient with Gohan so far, but her curiosity was prickling at her being. And Vegeta! He hadn't said one derogatory comment in the last five minutes.

"Of course, you could also fail miserably and join the ranks of pathetic has been humans such as Baldy and Scarface."

Perhaps she had spoken too soon. 

"Krillin can still wipe the floor with most people," Videl defended her friend. "And he has hair!"

Vegeta opened the indoor hatch of the gravity chamber and entered the hallway leading into the main house. "He is your first target. When you have reached his power level, the first phase of your training will be complete. When you surpass him, you will be the strongest human alive."

Videl grinned, noting that Vegeta had said "when" and not "if." He really did have faith in her. She really had no choice but to have faith in herself. She yawned, noting the time on the grandfather clock in Bulma's living room. It was already eight, and she hadn't even started on her homework yet. She collapsed on the leather couch, completely exhausted. Vegeta disappeared into the kitchen, undoubtedly to eat a week's worth of groceries and she was just drifting off when she felt a familiar presence. "Hey Gohan."

She hadn't even opened her eyes. "Pretty good," he acknowledged, walking over to the couch. He sat on the edge, by her feet. "Have a nice training session?"

"Nice isn't the word," she replied.

"I suppose with Vegeta, it never is. Want a massage?"

Videl's eyes opened wide. "Oh! Gohan, I'd be forever in your debt if you gave me one." 

He laughed and slid behind her on the big couch. She shivered at his closeness. She gave up; no matter what she did, her body would never act normally around him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and started kneading. "Wow, your muscles are pretty tense."

"My life hasn't exactly been stress free lately, Gohan," she replied, voice muffled but the pillow her head was buried in. The feeling of his hands on her, the feeling of his breath on her neck and the way his legs were intertwined with hers -- it was driving her crazy. His gentle hands slid down her back, taking care to unknot all the muscles Videl had knotted in the past three weeks. She pushed wicked thoughts into the corner of her mind, the thoughts that begged Videl to imagine what it would be like to feel his hands all over her body. It just wasn't fair how much she was attracted to him. It gave him too much power over her. And when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck softly, she almost exploded.

Good thing she was distracted by the long, fuzzy tail-like object that was winding its way around her legs and up towards her thigh. Wait a minute. She blinked, forced herself to suppress the sparks of insanity that was rising from Gohan's ministrations and strained her neck to look down towards where their legs were entangled.

Long? Check.

Fuzzy? Check.

Tail-like? VERY CHECK.

How very interesting. She must have been extremely tired, because now she was imagining tails. Nevertheless, she poked it experimentally. Gohan tightened his grip on her waist and purred against her neck. Hm. Ever more interesting. She patted it, noting its softness. It was a very pretty tail, though it had emerged from thin air. She graduated from poking to rubbing. She trailed her fingers down its length. Scientifically, it was fascinating. She continued to rub it, noting that Gohan was beginning to moan against her skin. Rub. Rub. Stroke. His grip on her was painful now and he was pulling her to press more tightly against him. Was the tail some sort of sexual instrument? She'd never really heard of that before. She wondered what would happen if she squeezed it. Poke. Rub rub. 

SQUEEZE.

Gohan's bloodcurdling scream was heard throughout the main house. When he started screaming, so did Videl, although she didn't know why. Gohan had released his grip on her and was as rigid as a board, still screaming. Trunks and Goten, playing videogames two stories above, cringed at the intensity of the two screams. Bulma and Vegeta, right in the next room eating a late dinner, blinked simultaneously. Goku, getting ready to step in the shower a hundred miles away, felt an extreme disturbance in the air and tossed his clothes back on and put two fingers to his forehead. Half a second later, he was standing in the middle of the Briefs' living room, along with Goten, Trunks and Trunks'parents. "What's going on here?" Goku demanded. The screaming had stopped, but Videl was still shaken. She was still very confused at what was going on, and Gohan was all but whimpering, curled into a ball at the end of the couch.

"Tail," was all Videl could say, jumping from the couch and standing next to Goku. She resisted the urge to hide behind him. 

Vegeta scowled. "Tail?"

Gohan was stroking the offending appendage gently. "Don't worry, she didn't know. She won't ever hurt you like that again."

Videl blinked, staring at the astonished faces of the people in the living room. "Someone explain. NOW."

"Oh, no fair!" Goten said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why does Gohan's tail always grow back? Mine _never_ does!"

Vegeta frowned. "Join the fucking club, kid."

Suddenly, Piccolo burst through the front door, almost setting it on his hinges. "I felt a surge in Gohan's power and-- " he broke off, looking at Gohan with his new tail. "Oh, come on! How many times do we have to get rid of that thing before it's gone for good?"

"Shit," almost everyone in the room said, except for Goku. He remained silent, scratching his head."Well, it's up to Gohan to decide what he wants to do with it. I know I'd like to have my tail back since the moon isn't around to make things harder, but he goes to school and everything. That would probably be a little strange for him."

"Moons? Tails? What are you people TALKING about?!"

Gohan turned his attention towards Videl for the first time since she grabbed his tail. He smiled gently. He stood from the couch and walked over to her, his tail wrapping itself around his waist. "Maybe it's time I told you everything, Videl."

Videl was still visibly shaken. "I think maybe you're right!"

"Let's take a little walk, okay?" He glared at the others. "_Alone_."

They all grumbled as Gohan led Videl out the door. He could have sworn he heard Vegeta growl and bang his head against the wall, but he couldn't be sure. It took a couple of seconds, but he adjusted to the balance differences. He wondered how he was going to tell Videl what he had to tell her. Even breaking it to her gently, it was a lot to digest. She waited patiently.

"Once upon a time," he started finally, putting his hands in his pockets, "there existed a planet called Plant, many light years away from Earth. There were two races that inhabited this planet, both humanoid. The Saiyans were a warrior race, as you know, and the Tsufri were more technology based. Soon there was struggle for domination. Because of their advanced technology, the Tsufri were able to hold their own. Unfortunately for them, the Saiyans hid a terrible weapon. Every full moon, Saiyans had the ability to transform into huge, ape-like creatures with unfathomable power, which we call _oozaru_. For a couple of years, the civil war stood at a stalemate. And then, when the full moon finally rose above planet Vegeta, the Tsufri were eliminated. Vegeta's ancestor became king and the planet was renamed to planet Vegeta.

"The Saiyan economy was based on planet purging. It sounds terrible, and it is, but you have to remember that the Saiyan race is that of fighters, and it is in their blood to seek the strongest enemies and defeat them. They would send warriors to various planets in order to eliminate all life and then sell the planet to the highest bidder. It was horrible and cruel, but it was their way of life and it was the only way they'd ever known."

Videl stayed silent. She vaguely reminded herself that she knew that Vegeta was a pretty bad guy before he settled on Earth, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to admit to herself that the Saiyan race was evil space pirates. For goodness sake, that was her boyfriend she was talking about!

"They weren't all bad," continued Gohan, running a hand through his hair. "But most of them were. Babies that were born on Vegeta had their power gauged at birth, and the weakest ones were sent away from the planet, both for their safety and for the profit of planet Vegeta. The babies would grow up and eventually purge the planet, returning to Vegeta with their mission complete. My father was one of those babies. He was sent to Earth as a child with the mission imbedded in his head to rid the planet of humans and turn it over to the Saiyans. He was sent to our planet and was found in his Saiyan space pod by my great-grandfather Gohan, who raised him as his own child. He was a horrible, misbehaved child until one day, he got into an accident and hit his head on the edge of cliff. The fall induced amnesia, and he remembered nothing of his heritage or his mission. He considered himself human, except for one thing: he had a tail.

"Meanwhile, a tyrant named Frieza was attaining more and more power. He was building a formidable army with the goal of one day ascending as the ruler of the universe. He struck a bargain with King Vegeta. Frieza would grant immunity to Planet Vegeta in return for the service of his Saiyans in his army. Prince Vegeta was his first recruit. Only a child, he was already extremely powerful and arrogant, hell bent on one day defeating Frieza and ascending himself to rule the universe.

"Unfortunately, Frieza failed to keep his end of the bargain. Frieza destroyed planet Vegeta anyway less than a year later, and, from bits and pieces of rumors I've heard, the only one that had the strength to stand up to him was my grandfather, Bardock. Vegeta once told me that he had heard from others in the army that Bardock had some kind of psychic abilities or had visions or something, and foresaw the destruction of the planet. He led a revolt against Frieza, but the attempt was futile. The Saiyan race was obliterated with one flick of that monster's wrist."

A note of recognition flashed across Videl's face. "He was that ugly purple lizard thing that you destroyed a couple of months ago when all the dead people were resurrected?"

Gohan nodded. "My power level now is much stronger than his, but when we were fighting him, it took nearly a miracle to win. And a miracle came, descended upon the Earth in a time capsule, but I'll get there later.

"So Vegeta's in the army and my dad's on earth and Bulma is in high school. She was fascinated by the legend of the Dragonballs, and set out on a journey to look for them. Most of the people that she and my dad met along with way became permanent fixtures in our lives – Krillin, Roshi, Yamcha – and most of them hated my dad when they first met. I bet you'd never think that Krillin and Vegeta had something in common. My dad fought a lot of strong enemies, including the entire red ribbon army and Piccolo, who's own past is both interesting and complicated. He and Kami, the guardian of the earth before Dende, used to be one person."

"Is that even possible?"

"Well, think of the fusion technique. If it's possible for two people to become one, it's possible for one person to become two. Anyway, Vegeta's out purging planets for Frieza and my dad met my mom and got married at the World Tournament. A couple of years later, I was born. I was about four when my uncle Radditz landed on the Earth, told my father much of what I'm telling you and demanded why he hadn't purged this planet yet. My father insisted he was human, not some deranged space pirate, and did his best to defend his planet. That was the first time he died." Gohan looked towards the grass. "He died, but he took Radditz with him. The only problem was that through Radditz' scouter – a sort of communication and scanning device – the information about Earth's Dragonballs was broadcasted to Frieza's army. Two even STRONGER Saiyans were on their way to earth, namely Vegeta and this other guy Nappa, in order to retrieve them. Kami pulled some strings and soon my dad was training with King Kai, one of the supreme beings of the universe. By the time my dad was wished back, he was ready to face the Saiyans, and so was I. Shortly after he died, Piccolo took me under his wing and trained me. He knew less than I did about Saiyan physiology, so boy was he surprised when on the first full moon, I transformed into an _oozaru_. He ended up cutting off my tail, which decreased my power level, but it was a pointless effort anyway. During our fight with the Saiyans, it grew back."

"Is this a common occurance?"

Gohan shrugged, his tail swinging behind him. "Not a clue. Vegeta is really the only real surviving Saiyan left, and he didn't even hang around planet Vegeta for long. Truthfully, a Saiyan tail is a symbol of strength and honor. It is a complete disgrace to lose your tail, so when Vegeta's own tail was cut of, he was more than furious. He was on _fire_."

"Did you dad still have his?" Videl asked.

"Nah, his was cut off long ago," replied Gohan, rubbing his hands together. "And mine was again cut off after the fight with Vegeta. No Saiyans on Earth were left with tails. It was safer that way. We didn't even have the moon to worry about anymore. Piccolo destroyed it after he made the connection between it and the transformation. Even though Vegeta had complete mental control in _oozaru_ form, both dad and I completely lost it. Because there would be a full moon every month on Earth, unlike on Vegeta when it only rises once every eight years, there are safety issues.

"My dad defeated Vegeta that first time, but Vegeta wasn't nearly as pissed about that as he was about the fact that my dad had spared his life. I don't think Vegeta ever forgave him for that time, even though Vegeta has saved my dad's life and vice versa countless times since then. It was an honor thing. My dad allowed Vegeta to escape, but he left behind unthinkable destruction in his wake. Yamcha, Tien and Chaotzu were dead. Dad, Krillin and I were in the hospital for weeks. Bulma was a wreck, which is understandable. She wasn't a fighter, so she was forced to stand idly by and watch the man she loved get blown to pieces. After the battle, she decided that she couldn't just sit around and do nothing, so she got a spaceship and decided to travel to Namek to get THEIR Dragonballs in order to wish the guys back. A pretty good idea, too, only a couple of other people were on their way to Namek as well. Vegeta and Frieza."

Videl listened intently as Gohan described their battles on Namek. She couldn't believe that at only six years old, he had been through so much. Her hear ached for the little boy that could never really get his childhood back; he'd been too busy saving the world to ever have any fun. He was a suspenseful storyteller, and by the time he'd gotten to Namek' self-destruction, she was antsy.

"Did Goku die again?" she asked.

"Well, this is what happened. We came back to Earth and used the Dragonballs to wish back Yamcha and the others. But when we tried to wish dad back, the dragon told us that he was still alive. But Namek had been destroyed, so we had no idea where he was. We could only pray that he was all right.

"Even more disturbingly, we felt a strong energy that could only be Frieza's. Dad hadn't succeeded; he'd turned into a Super Saiyan, but Frieza was still alive and on his way to Earth. As it turned out, we didn't even have to worry about it. By the time we got to the battlefield, someone else was already in the process of destroying both Frieza and his diabolical father. No body knew it at the time, but it was Trunks, who traveled in a time machine twenty years from the future in order to warn the Z-fighters about the androids, who would become our next enemy."

He outlined the battle with the androids and Cell, trying to leave out most of the gruesome details. He told her how Vegeta had finally become a Super Saiyan and somehow found time to conceive baby Trunks. He told her how his father had again sacrificed his life for Earth, and, because of his own arrogance and Saiyan pride, his father had died at Cell's hands. His Saiyan blood had mixed dangerously with his human emotions, and he was unstoppable. "You pretty much know the rest," he concluded, absently tucking his tail around his waist. "It was pretty peaceful for the next couple of years, and then I met you."

"You know," she said quietly, "I thought my life was weird. But yours takes the cake."

Gohan looked abashed. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you all of this sooner. I was afraid that if you heard it without really getting to know me, I'd scare you off. And I really didn't want to do that because…because I care about you a lot and I didn't want to lose you."

"Oh, Gohan," the petite fighter threw herself at him, hugging him tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. Just give me maybe… one night to digest all of this information. I've had a very long day."

"Right. Let me walk you home."

She grabbed his hands and laced his fingers with hers. "Definitely. And you know… if you want to keep the tail, I think I could get used to it."

"No, I'll probably just get rid of it. Vegeta'll kill me, but a tail draws a lot of attention, especially when humans aren't supposed to have one.

_Thank goodness_. "If that's what you want."

"Now tell me more about your training session today."

She was glad for the subject change. "Well, you'll never believe it. Vegeta's put me on a DIET."

¤¤¤

-Notes-: 

The ending –_ryu_ is usually used to denote a particular school of martial arts. Kamesennin-_ryu_ is the form of martial arts that Krillin and Goku learned from Master Roshi in Dragonball. 

A _dojo_ is a training hall. If you've ever seen Dragonball GT, Satan's dojo is freaking humongous. But would you expect any differently?

We didn't make up the story Videl tells to the kids, Keryn read it in an English textbook. _Pro bono _is a latin term that means "for the good" or, free. Lawyers that work _Pro bono_ don't charge for their services. And neither do we. ^_^ 

The fusion technique is first achieved by Goten and Trunks in their attempts to battle Majin Buu. They fuse to form Gotenks, the most arrogant little brat I've seen since little Vegeta in the Bardock movie. Goku and Vegeta also fuse, using the Supreme Kaio's (Kaioshin's) earrings near the end of the series and also in Movie 12. In Movie 12, Vegeta is hilarious. He and Goku are both dead at the time, stuck in hell with their little halos glowing over their heads. When Goku suggests fusion to defeat the enemy (and damn, you gotta see Vegeta do the fusion dance) Vegeta says, "I'd rather die than fuse with you!"to which Goku counters, "But Vegeta. You're already dead!" The look on Veggie's face is priceless. Goku and Vegeta also fuse again in DBGT. When it comes to fusion, we personally believe that Gogeta is cooler than Vegetto and Gotenks' hair is pretty cool, too. 

Although we tend to like to stick to the Americanized version of many things, we will never, EVER refer to the race "Tsufri" as the "Tuffles." FUNi really crapped that one up. Really. Because of this hideous mistranslation, the pun is lost. If you rearrange the letters in "Tsufri", you would get the word"fruits." Vegetables versus fruits. Get it? Good. ^^

Thanks to Hikaru Imonoyama, the only person (including the authors and the betas) to realize that Piccolo states that there's a full moon in three days, when everyone knows full well there IS no moon. By the way, in Dragonball GT, the moon makes a reappearance. XD

-Soundtrack for Chapter 11-: _Regular Guy_, 2gether (Gohan's Theme); _Super Duper Love Love Days_, CCS OST; _In My Life_, the Les MisÉrables Original Broadway Soundtrack.

-Next Time on _Misadventures_-: Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in Home Movies - Erasa gets a hold of some home movies from when she and Videl were growing up and embarrasses her best friend greatly by showing them to all of Videl's friends (including Gohan and the rest of the Z fighters). Introducing the rest of the blonde haired, blue eyed family of Erasa: Ryuichi, Erasa's eldest brother; Erasa's other older brothers, identical twins Kyousuke, a genius with an insane crush on the oblivious Videl and Jyoutarou, a baseball player extraordinaire and Yamcha worshipper; and little Search and Destroy, Erasa's youngest two brothers, the more human versions of Trunks and Goten that get into the same insane amounts of trouble. A look back on Videl's life growing up with five surrogate brothers and a sister. 

-New! And Improved! With Delicious Goodness!-: It's the debut of the _Misadventures of Videl and Gohan _website! Just click here and you will find oodles of goodies, such as the story itself, character profiles, fan art, other stories by the same author and much much more! Don't forget to check it out!

  



	13. Misadventures in Home Movies

-**About Misadventures**-: The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z. However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a horrible job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things. But anyway). Common housewife, humph. We don't think so. From there, Misadventures has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done this and that with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist in this fic. But you already knew that. 

-**About This Chapter**-: Massive. That's all we have to say. Except that starting from chapter 15 or so, the chapters won't be so long.

-**Mailing List**-: If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject: Mailing List. Your name will be added to our ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

-**Note**-: Ilana had said last time that we thought Gogeta was tons cooler then Vegetto. For future references I would just like to say I think they are both incredibly sexy being that they are half Vegeta and half Goku. Thank you.-- Keryn

-**Disclaimer**-: If either of us were Akira Toriyama we sure as hell wouldn't be wasting time writing this fic. Well... not for free anyway. Comprende?

The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
By CCS Angel00 and Absolut Angel  
Brought to you by: Waves and Rocks, of course

  
  


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Chapter 12: Videl Misadventures in Home Movies  
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Videl flopped down on Bulma's leather couch and stifled a groan into a plush pillow. Because she was unable to engage in any real training activities, Vegeta had demanded she show up three times a week for intense aerobic activity in order to prepare herself. Her teacher seemed particularly vengeful this early morning, showing up at her house at four am, pulling her by the hair out of bed and demanding that she perform her normal morning weight training in two times gravity followed by a twelve mile run around the city. He then demanded she eat a four-course meal in his wife's kitchen while he peered over her shoulder. She was so nervous with his dominating presence that she could barely stick her shaking fork into her beautiful, rare steak and eggs.

_I bet he had a fight with Bulma. _

Yet she hadn't uttered a word of complaint. She knew that's what Vegeta was waiting for, a chance to shove it in her face that she was a pathetic, weak, sorry excuse for a fighter who couldn't even bare a simple aerobic regimen for twenty-four hours. Videl sat up, stretching her arms over her head, wincing at the popping of the joints in her arms. She yawned once, noticing a blob of purple making its way over to her, plopping down next to her. 

"Hi Videl! You sure are lucky Dad's training with you," Trunks said, reaching for the remote control. 

"Lucky," Videl snorted, "is not the word I would use." 

Trunks shrugged and continued to flip through three hundred channels before deciding on a familiar looking cartoon. "Yes! I love this one!" 

_"Digi, digi," Daisuke knocked on the computer lab door, calling out the not-so-secret code. _

_"Mon, mon," Koushiro called from his computer._

"You've got to be kidding me," Videl groaned again, resigning to her fate of watching cartoons until someone came to rescue her. Or kill her. Whichever came first. 

"Hey guys," Gohan appeared in the doorway and soon appeared on the other side of Videl on the couch. "What are you doing?" 

"Melting our brains watching plotless cartoons," Videl said, lifting her head to glare at him. "What are you doing here? Are you coming to check up on me? Again?" 

Gohan dropped down onto the couch and looked away guiltily. "I was worried..." 

Videl rolled her eyes, but draped herself across her boyfriend. Why did she have to use Bulma's couch when she had Gohan to lay on? She had to smile when his face turned a deep scarlet. "You should be more worried that your IQ is going to drop watching this stupid show." 

"That's not TRUE!" Trunks protested. "It's a really COOL show! A bunch of kids fall into another world and meet a bunch of really freaky looking things called Digimon. And the kids are always battling bad guys and they fight to save the world," he revealed. "Of course, it's not as cool as when WE saved the world but after all, it's only a show!" 

Gohan quickly grabbed the remote from Trunks, flipping through the channels himself hoping to find something at least a little educational. As he clicked past the food network, Videl put her hand over his and bolted up from her relaxed position. "You've got to be JOKING me!" Gohan exclaimed when he realized what they were looking at. 

"Here we are in beautiful downtown Satan City, celebrating the GRAND OPENING of Hell's Kitchen, Mr. Hercule Satan's new health food restaurant. Joining us is Mr. Satan himself, who has just returned from cutting the red ribbon," The reporter announced proudly, turning to the massive man to her side. "What made you decide to open an all health food restaurant, sir?" 

Satan roared with laughter. "Don't forget, you're talking to the reigning World Champion, not to mention the man that saved the world! I need to stay in shape in order to competently fulfill my role as the Earth's only protector! Besides rigorous training and working out, I need to eat right to get the full effect! Not only am I opening this restaurant, and a chain of others throughout the country and the world, but also I have hired specialty health food chefs for my daughter and myself and have filled my house with only nutritionally sound foods such as vegetables and tofu!" 

"Thank you Mr. Satan. Well you heard it first here--" 

Videl sank to the floor with a look of pure dread on her face. "I'm going to starve. After all my hard work trying to gain twenty pounds, I'm going to starve to death!" Videl sighed. "Vegeta's not going to like this." 

Gohan squeezed her shoulder. "You can come to my house anytime and eat with us. Mom wouldn't mind another mouth to feed. Expecially if it's the mouth of--" 

"The girl that will marry her son, populating all of Satan City'?" Videl questioned, her lack of caffeine making her cranky. 

Whether Gohan realized that his girlfriend was mocking his beloved mother or not, he ignored this comment and glanced down at his watch. "We have to get to school soon." 

"Yes father," Videl muttered under her breath, slumping into the guest bathroom to shower and change.

"Gohan, I think something's wrong with Videl," Trunks said, his eyes never leaving the television. 

Gohan sighed. He didn't want to tell Trunks that he'd known Videl long enough to be able to read her moods, and this was like the calm before a storm. The worst was yet to come. 

¤¤¤

"Lunch, lunch, beautiful, wonderful, delicious, LUNCH!" Gohan cheered as the five friends made their way outside to enjoy their lunch. They collapsed underneath a huge tree and set up their respective meals. Gohan's, of course, was the biggest. Marker's eyes nearly bulged straight out of his head when he spied what exactly was inside Gohan's capsule. He counted no less than fifteen sandwiches, two whole barbequed chickens, two gallons of soup, three boxes of cupcakes and an entire lemon meringue pie. He unpacked his lunch happily as Videl outlined Vegeta's demonic diet regimen to her friends.

"So he put me on a diet," Videl said blurrily. "I haven't had any caffeine or sugar in over forty hours. I need to gain twenty pounds in--" Videl let her unfocused gaze rest upon Son Gohan, who took it upon himself to eat three chocolate cupcakes in the middle of her explanation. Trying to ignore the smell of sugary baked goods and the little piece of chocolate on the side of her boyfriend's mouth, she continued telling Marker, Sharpner and Erasa about her diet. 

_God. I'm ready to go over and lick his mouth just to get the taste of chocolate._

The rest of lunch went pretty smoothly. Videl only felt the urge to French kiss Marker once as he drank a can of Coke, but she figured Gohan probably wouldn't be too happy if she did that and managed to control herself. She glanced over at Gohan who looked pretty content as he finished the last of his lunch. Videl noticed that the small spot of chocolate on Gohan's mouth was still there and fought for control. 

_Calm down, girl. It's just a little... chocolate... sugary... chocolate... OH THE HELL WITH IT!_

Videl pounced on the unsuspecting Gohan, making him fall backwards into the soft grass. Her friends exchanged looks of amusement and surprise as Videl attacked Gohan's mouth with her own. Satisfied with the faint taste of chocolate in her mouth, Videl released her boyfriend after several minutes and sat upright. She reached for her protein bar and unwrapped it, acting like she hadn't just nearly raped her boyfriend in front of the entire student body. Hm. Strawberry. Not too bad. 

Gohan blinked a few times, his mouth still half-mast. He glanced at his girlfriend who seemed to be enjoying her protein bar, acting as though she hadn't done anything out of the usual. 

"If you'll excuse me," Sharpner said suddenly, brushing himself off. 

"Where are you going?" Marker asked. 

"To get a cup of coffee," he smirked, looking over at Videl. "Wouldn't you like one too, Erasa?" 

Videl suddenly felt an adrenaline rush. "PERVERT!" 

Sharpner never _did_ get his cup of coffee. He did get a free pass to the nurse's office, however, courtesy of Videl Air.

¤¤¤

On their way to Gohan's house, Videl was the first to break the somewhat awkward silence. 

"Sorry about today in school," Videl apologized as she dodged a bird coming right at her. "I kind of lost control for a second." 

Gohan nodded, his face reddening at the memory of the steamy kiss she had given him. "I-it's alright. I understand. Can't say I didn't enjoy it." 

Videl punched him lightly in the arm, a smile warming her face. They landed in front of the Son household, walking through the door. 

"We're back!" Gohan called. 

"Welcome home!" Chi-Chi called. "I was just going to serve dinner. Come on in!" 

"Real food," Videl sighed with relief. "My last meal." 

"Hi Gohan! Hi Videl!" Goten bounced over to the table and sat next to his father. "I had a really fun day! I found this HUGE lizard and I scared Trunks so much he almost wet his PANTS!" 

"Enough Goten," Chi-Chi commanded, laughing in spite of herself. "Dig in everyone!" she said proudly, setting the large portions of food down on the table. 

"Goof foof," Goku complimented, shoving the rice into his mouth. 

"Goku, don't talk with your mouth FULL!" Chi-Chi boomed. 

Goku swallowed. "Sorry. So Videl, how's training with Vegeta going?" 

Videl's mood dampened visibly. "Well as of right now I'm trying to gain weight. He said I'm too 'petite'. That means I have to eat lots of fat and protein and no sugar or caffeine." 

"Who wants pie?" Chi-Chi called merrily, bringing a fresh baked cherry pie from the kitchen. "I usually don't make pie but I figured--" 

"THAT IS IT! I'VE HAD IT!" Videl huffed, getting up from the table. "No one has any compassion for me! I've gone two days without sugar or caffeine and I'm going through WITHDRAWAL!" 

Gohan put his hands on her shaking shoulders and led her outside. "Let's go get some air, okay Videl?" 

"Air has no sugar, I guess it's okay," Videl muttered. 

"Well now," Goku looked down at the pie his wife set before him. "Mr. Pie, you have made our guest Videl upset. What should I do with you?" Goku frowned. "This is crime I cannot forgive. You must pay the ultimate price. I shall EAT YOU!" 

"I think daddy finally snapped," Goten whispered, pulling his mother's long skirt. "Mommy, I'm afraid." 

Chi-Chi sighed. She starting clearing the dishes when Gohan and Videl walked back in, Videl looking a lot calmer then before. She looked at Goku, who had finished the offending pie seconds before. Videl's nose twitched as she realized he still smelled like the pie. Before she could help herself, she launched herself at Goku, glomping onto him for dear life. She rendered Gohan, Chi-Chi and Goten speechless. Videl happily sniffed Goku, who didn't seem to mind that he was wearing Videl as an accessory. 

When Gohan recovered, he was decidedly not happy. "VIDEL! What are you doing?" 

"He smells like pie and I'M NOT LETTING GO!" Videl clung to Goku tighter. "NEVER EVER EVER!" 

"I'm going to go play. Outside. Quietly," Goten raced to the door, not wanting to stay around. 

"DAAAAAD! Say something!" Gohan pleaded. 

"Videl, I have to go take a shower. If you come with me, you're going to get your clothes wet," Goku tried to reason with the half delirious girl.

_I will never be amazed at Dad's logic. Oh Father... you really have no shame._

"I don't mind," Videl grinned. 

"I DO!" Gohan finally announced, deciding that enough was most certainly enough. He detangled his girlfriend from his father and pulled her towards him. "If you're going to cling to someone, you're going to CLING TO ME!" He then flung Videl over his right shoulder and marched towards his room. Before he opened the door he called, "I suggest, Father, you remove the odor of pie as soon as possible." His tone left no room for arguments. He kicked the door behind him, restraining the urge to melt it shut, and threw Videl onto his bed. She was so surprised at his behavior (and, truth be told, she was still distracted by the smell of cherry pie) that she hardly noticed that she was pinned to the bed and her boyfriend was practically sitting on top of her.

"What are you doing, you letch?" she asked, but she was smiling. "Get off me!" 

"Will you behave now?" Gohan asked, realizing that if she really wanted him to get off, she would be putting up more of a fight. She wouldn't be able to dislodge him from his position of course, but she'd be in a more retaliating mood. He was glad that she wasn't.

"Hmph," Videl replied, turning her head.

Gohan poked her lightly in the ribs, enjoying her rare subservience. It wouldn't last long, that was for sure. "What was that Miss Satan? You'll behave?"

"Never!" Videl stuck her tongue out at him, pulling down her lower left eyelid childishly. "I shall never surrender to the likes of you, Great Saiyadork." She pushed against his chest full force, almost pushing him off the bed. She was really pushing hard when Gohan let his fingers sweep against her abdomen, which was exposed when her shirt flew up as Gohan threw her on the bed. "Oh no, tickling is NOT allowed!" 

"Is that so? Gohan launched a full tickle attack on his sugar-deprived girlfriend, rendering her helpless under his obvious weight advantage. "Say you'll change your wicked ways and become my faithful sidekick in crime fighting."

Videl tried to catch her breath. "Partner, if you're lucky," she gasped. "I'm not sidekick material. Although you're more _my_ sidekick in the whole scheme of things," Videl smirked up at him. "That's not a bad idea. Come over to the dark side, my child. We shall rule the world together!" Videl panted. "But only if you get off of me. I think you're crushing my spleen."

Gohan shifted his weight. "I shall not be influenced by your seductive ways, evil one. I will now give you the patented 'Great Saiyaman Kiss of Purity and Goodness' to rid you of your evilness." He leaned over, catching her lips with his own.

Goten blinked repeatedly as he pulled his ear away from the door. When had Videl become evil? He had only been playing outside for half an hour. Boy, if you blink in this house you can miss everything.

And what was this Saiyaman Purity Kissing thingy? Better yet, could he do it too? Or could only the Great Saiyaman give the Kiss of Purity? Could Goten give Goten's Kiss of Purity? More importantly, did he need to give the kiss of purity to a girl? Did she have to be evil, or just pretty, like Videl?

Goten frowned. Why was it so quiet in there? Was his older brother actually hurting his girlfriend because she had suddenly turned evil? Even if she was evil, Videl was still Videl in Goten's mind and hurting her was out of the question! Should he burst in? Should he call for backup? Should he get his mother's frying pan?

Goku raised an eyebrow at the site of his youngest son positively freaking out in front of Gohan's room, murmuring something about purity kisses and Videl turning over to the dark side. "Goten? What's the matter?"

"Daddy!" Goten clutched his father's legs, tears welling up in his eyes. "I think Gohan is trying to purify Videl 'cause she's evil and he's going to hurt her and I don't like that and and and--"

Goku scratched his head. Gohan would never hurt Videl, he was sure of it. And how would Gohan try and _purify_ his girlfriend? And when had Videl become evil? "Goten, tell me everything that happened. Slowly."

Goten flailed his short arms, his tears falling faster. He explained how he heard Videl tell Gohan that she had turned evil, how Gohan crushed her, how Gohan had to purify her, how there were no more sounds. Goku felt even more confused then before. "I'm sure Gohan would never do that to Videl, evil or not. Why don't we just open the door and see for ourselves?"

Goku opened the door a crack, peeking in. Gohan wasn't on top of Videl anymore, if had had been in the first place (Goku questioned Gohan's nerve and also took into consideration Goten's tendency to exaggerate, but he decided that he'd give Gohan the benefit of the doubt) but the two teenagers were facing each other, arms and legs entangled. They seemed to be talking about something funny, because Videl was laughing and Gohan was blushing. When Gohan lifted one hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Videl's ear, Goku quietly closed the door, not wanting to interrupt their private moment. Dende only knows how many private moments they got around this house.

Goku looked down, suddenly remembering his panicked son. "Videl and Gohan were just playing a game, Goten," Goku assured him and Goten sighed with relief and understanding. His father then took his hand and led him outside where they could play a game of their own. 

It was their favorite mid-afternoon game and it was called, "Who Can Blow Up The Most Stuff Without Getting Into Trouble With Chi-Chi." To Goku's dismay, Goten usually won. This, he reasoned, was probably due to the cuteness factor, an altogether unfair advantage.

¤¤¤

When Erasa handed Videl a beautifully wrapped package and told her it was a late birthday present from herself and Marker, Videl couldn't help but be suspicious. Most people thought that Erasa was a bit dim, but Videl knew better. Hidden underneath the Barbie doll face and vacant expressions was an incredibly bright girl, and Marker was one of the people that could facilitate craftiness in the blonde. Throw in the fact that Marker was downright mischievous all by himself and Videl was less than thrilled when, once unwrapped, she held a videocassette in her hand.

"I refuse to be subjected to anymore humiliation by another one of these videos," Videl sneered. "Burn it, throw it away; I don't care."

Erasa put her arm around the shorter girl. "But Videl, Marker and I worked so hard putting this together for you. It's only rated PG, and we promise that there's no defamation of the Satan name! Gohan, you want to see what Videl looked like when she was two, don't you?"

Gohan nodded but cowered under Videl's glare. Erasa rubbed her hands together and turned away from the couple. "Well then it's settled. You two can go off and enjoy this video, while I go enjoy the mall with Angela. There's a sale at Saks! You know Videl we can always go shoppi--" Erasa turned back to look at her, but she was gone. "HOW RUDE!"

"That was a close one. The last time she took me shopping there were no less than three major causalities, and two of those were her brothers after the disastrous "fashion show." Videl stopped mid-flight and looked over at Gohan. "Hey, you have the video. Thanks. You can give it to me now."

Gohan shook his head. "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? Last time I checked there was something called 'free will'."

"I really want to see this," Gohan looked at her almost pleadingly. "I want to know more about you. I've told you everything about me, so I think it's time I got to learn about you. And it'll just be us. Maybe Mom, Dad, and Goten."

Videl rubbed her temples. He was right. He had told her everything about himself but anything could be on that tape, and considering what had happened the last time, she wasn't about to take any chances. She tried not to look at him, but it proved to be futile. She caught his pleading eye and protruding lower lip in a pout and she was defeated. "Fine," she growled. "But if it's anything like last time --"

"I'm sure it's not," Gohan said happily. He was going to learn more about Videl! He reveled in his good luck most of the way home, but when he caught sight of his house, he stopped short, barely noticing Videl bump into his back.

"GOHAN! Why did you stop like that? I almost bit my tongue off! What's wrong?" Videl rubbed her mouth.

_She's not going to like this._ "Well... you see Videl..."

"We're here," Videl said landing in front of Gohan's small house. "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

"You see... we have--" Gohan started, holding the tape protectively.

"Hey everyone! Gohan and Videl are here!" Trunks called as he opened the door. "Man, we were waiting for you guys for such a long time. It seemed like a long time, anyway. Is this video as cool as the last one?"

"-- company," Gohan completed.

Videl could only stare. "This is beyond believability. How do they ALWAYS KNOW? _We_ only found out about this twenty minutes ago!" She grabbed Gohan by the shirt and shook him. "YOU! FIX THIS!"

Trunks grabbed their hands, dragging them inside. "News travels fast?" Gohan offered weakly. 

They walked slowly into the living room, Videl bearing somewhat of a resemblance to an inmate walking towards the electric chair. To she was horrified, but not surprised, to see the Briefs, the Sons, Krillin's family and Yamcha, each in his or her usual position for a possibly mortifying video watching extravaganza. Videl held her hand up in a greeting and turned to the door. "Nice seeing you all again. I'm-- I'm going home." 

Gohan frowned. "Come on Videl. Half an hour, that's all I ask." His dark eyes became wide and shining and the familiar pout once again made an appearance. Damn, that boy learned fast. "Please?"

_Dende, why am I being punished? I always liked you, you know. I kept Gohan from killing you and THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! You can just forget a Christmas present now._

She groaned as she felt herself being pulled to the couch by Goten, but made no move to struggle. Yamcha jumped to pop the video into the VCR, as everyone got comfortable.

It was going to be a long night.

¤¤¤

"Satan Videl," Marker's voice boomed from the television. "This is your life!"

¤¤¤

Correction, a VERY long night.

¤¤¤

Marker sat on a small couch in his spacious blue and green bedroom, a wide grin on his face. "You may be wondering why this video tape came -after- your birthday. The reason is, simply, because additional footage needed to be added. Erasa and I worked hard and long to make this video worthy of you, because you are one of our best friends in the entire world. Sit back and enjoy this trip through memory lane; it's sure to be a bumpy one.

A handwritten sign is held in front of the camera reading _"The BV years: Before Videl"_

The view faded from black to a comfortable looking room. The woman that was currently in front of the camera was strikingly beautiful, and bore more than a slight resemblance to Videl. Videl's eyes threatened tears as she realized that Marker must have talked her father into lending him old home movies. She herself hadn't seen this one in years, though she did view most of them after her mother's death. At the time she thought it would be an exercise in getting over her grief, but it had only sent her to bed crying, feeling empty, sad and alone. Now that she was older, seeing her mother on camera generated only feelings of guilt; she had almost forgotten what her mother looked like. Her mother had long dark hair, much like she herself used to have, and beautiful violet-colored eyes, which at the moment were being used in a ferocious glare towards her husband.

"Is there any particular reason you're taping me, dear?" Satan Megara raised an eyebrow. She got up from the piano bench, revealing her very swollen stomach. She stretched her arms over her head and rubbed her lower back. "It's cute the first time, but now you're getting on my nerves," she complained, but there was a smile in her voice.

"Here we have my beautiful, musically inclined wife, pregnant with our first child," Hercule's voice said from behind the camera. "The first of many, this proud soon-to-be father hopes. Megara secretly likes being taped but she doesn't want anyone to know that."

Megara winced as she felt her baby kick. "If men were the ones that had to be pregnant, the human race would be extinct." Megara winced again. "This child here is going to be a handful. I can feel it already."

"My baby's going to be a fighter," Hercule said proudly.

Megara smiled, her amethyst eyes lighting up. "Whatever you say dear. Whatever you say."

Hercule roamed around the house and stopped at a small, cozy room. They had hired decorators for the nursery, Videl remembered being told, but her mother was so fussy about it that Hercule had to finally agree to do it himself. Light from two picture windows softly hit light blue walls, hand painted with clouds and a bright, yellow sun. Hardwood floors were covered with a small blue rug, and covering that was a bassinet, located in the middle of the room. After three days, replacement wood and a whole lot of crying (and not all of the crying was done by Megara), Hercule had finally completed assembling the white crib, festively decorated with musical notes and small piano keys. And after a week of searching, the Satan's had finally found a mobile worthy of their future child: a rotating carousel of angels. Megara was demanding but she had a heart, so she had let Hercule hire some students from his dojo to put together the rest of the furniture, including a dresser and two bookcases, already filled with children's books.

"Maybe she'll be a pianist," Megara flipped through a music book for beginners. "That would make my parents so happy."

"Throwing myself off a cliff would also make your parents happy, but you don't see me doing that, do you?" Hercule chuckled from behind the camera. It was no secret that Megara's parents disapproved of the Satan union. "Maybe she'll be a fighter. She'll at least have to defend herself against hormone ridden, perverted, boys."

"Like you used to be?"

"Funny."

"I don't like the idea of my baby being a fighter," Megara frowned. "She has more of a future in music. Or any other field she might pick. Fighting is so --"

"Exciting? Satisfying?" Hercule tried.

"Violent. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I just home she doesn't get your stubbornness."

"Or your tendency to nag," Hercule added helpfully.

"Or your hair." Megara hid her smile behind her hand.

"What's wrong with my hair!?"

Megara stroked her stomach gently, her violet eyes softening. "I hope we make good parents."

"I know we will dear. As long as we're together, we can do anything."

¤¤¤

"You look a lot like your mom," Gohan whispered as Hercule made a speech about his future child being just like him. "She was very beautiful."

"Thanks," Videl whispered back.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

¤¤¤

The camera focused on a familiar blonde's face. Sharpner smirked as he sat down on Marker's couch. Someone (and from the pink fingernails with silver star designs, Gohan and Videl inferred Erasa) held up a sign in front of Sharpner's face that said "Interviews."

"Please state your name," came Marker's voice from behind the camera.

"Sharpner."

"Age?"

"Eighteen."

"Relation to Videl?"

"Future boyfriend, possibly lover. OUCH! You didn't have to throw that paper weight so damn hard, Erasa!" Sharpner rubbed his head.

"Oops, it must have slipped!"

Marker laughed. "What do you think of Satan Videl?"

Sharpner looked thoughtful. "She's really hot. You could melt butter off of the girl! Her blue eyes are like the ocean and baby, I'm lost at sea. Anyway, she's really strong and athletic, though not as strong as me of course. I can flex my muscles like this," Sharpner demonstrated his ability to look like an idiot for a bit, until Marker cleared his throat and broke in with another question.

"What about Son Gohan?"

Sharpner frowned. "He's still a dork in my opinion. He probably came up with something in chemistry, put it in Videl's drink and then KABLAAM! She was all his. I can't think of any other possibilities why she would choose him over me."

"Right. How much truth is in the rumor that you've been dressing up as various treats and parading around downtown Satan City like an idiot --"

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT RUMOR STARTED! It is TOTALLY UNTRUE! Hehehehe… You know how these things go."

"... Right. Thanks for your insight Sharpner. Back to the movie!"

¤¤¤

Another hand written sign was held up. _"Satan Videl: The Terrible Twos"_

Little Videl was sitting in her high chair, pouting at her mother's attempts to feed her. She was the epitome of cuteness with her ebony hair in two short pigtails on each side of her head. Her face was rounder but her eyelashes were still long and dark, framing her glittering blue eyes. She was wearing a pair of overalls and a pair of sneakers. Her _Piyo Piyo_ bib was currently clean and unused. "Come on Videl, eat a little for mommy." Megara held up a spoon and brought it to Videl's mouth, which was firmly clasped in a firm line. Megara was starting to lose her patience. "You have to eat."

¤¤¤

"If we could only get her to keep her mouth shut now," Vegeta spoke up for the first time, propping his feet on the coffee table. He ignored Chi-Chi's ramblings about limbs on the furniture. "The world would be a better place."

"Very funny."

¤¤¤

Videl crossed her small arms and stuck her tongue out. "Don't wanna."

"Watch as Megara tries to get the Princess to eat the pea. If she eats it, she will indeed prove she is a Princess. If not, she will prove she is a NORMAL TWO YEAR OLD! It might be easier if you wanted her to sleep on the pea though, dear," said Hercule helpfully, finding this situation amusing.

"Let's see -you- do better then," Megara shoved the peas into his hand and grabbed the camera from him. "I'd like to see this one. Now Videl, daddy is going to eat some peas to show you how yummy they are!"

Hercule blanched. "I will?"

Videl cocked her head. "Daddy like peas?" 

Hercule made a sour face. "I love them." He closed his eyes and shoved a couple of peas in. "Yum." Hercule quickly turned away and spat the peas into a napkin, hiding it by faking a loud cough.

Videl narrowed her eyes. "Daddy really like peas? Daddy not lying to make Videl eat yucky peas?"

"No of course not. Would I ever do that to my little sweet pea? Peas make daddy nice and strong. Don't you want to be strong like daddy?" Hercule quickly drank a couple of glasses of water. "Peas are really yummy." He held the spoon out for her.

Videl happily complied, eating the peas. "Yum yum yum!"

Megara sighed. "I'm surrounded."

¤¤¤

"Don't you think you were a bit suspicious at a young age?" Gohan chuckled, trying to ignore his younger brother and Trunks, who were rolling on the floor with laughter. Most of the adults were smiling, and Vegeta's smirk covered half his damn face. 

"He spit his peas out right in front of me!" Videl said defensively. "Still... he did get to me to eat them."

Chi-Chi squealed. "That's how my future granddaughter will look when she's eating. So, when am I going to get one?" Chi-Chi looked expectantly at Videl. "Soon, I hope. You two aren't getting any younger. You might as well start at this age. Goku and I were sixteen when we got married." Chi-Chi sighed. "It was so romantic."

"Didn't you trick him into marrying you?" Bulma grinned, leaning back against the couch.

"Are you even _married_?" Chi-Chi fired back.

"Hey look. More embarrassing scenes from my childhood," Videl pointed to screen, not wanting a fight to break out.

¤¤¤

The camera panned up and focused on Gohan's face. He looked a bit apprehensive and was sweating slightly, but Marker seemed to ignore it.

"Name?"

"Marker, you know my name."

"Just play along. Now, Gohan what's your name?"

"Son Gohan."

"Age?"

"Seventeen."

"Relation to Videl?"

"Classmate?"

"For now." Marker zoomed in on Gohan's blushing face. "Anyway, what do you think of Videl?"

Gohan nervously tugged at his hair. "Well, she's uhh... a good fighter, brave... erm... has a nice pair of--"

"Of what?"

"Arms."

Marker shook his head, the camera moving with him. "That's nice Gohan. Now what about looks?"

Gohan really started sweating. "She-she's very pretty, even when she's glaring, which is often…

"So would you... you _know_?"

Gohan cocked his head. "I know what?"

"_You know_."

There was silence as unseen gestures were made from behind the camera.

Gohan's eyes widened. "Oh -- oh! Oh, noooo. I mean yes! I mean if she wanted to and we were married, because an act of love such as that-- but heh, she wouldn't want to right? And we're not married and -- Can I have another question?" he finished weakly.

Marker laughed maniacally. "Okay, onto more pressing issues. How is it that both you and Videl are always late on the same days? And why is it whenever Videl leaves to fight crime you always have to 'go to the bathroom'?"

Gohan opened his mouth and snapped it shut quickly. He'd only been the Great Saiyaman for three days and he had to think of a cover. "Er… El Niño?"

Marker struggled to contain laughter. "And there you have it folks. Is El Niño behind all of these strange events? The world may never know."

¤¤¤

"El NIÑO?!" Yamcha fell off of his chair. "You are the worst liar in the world, Gohan. Ahaha, El Niño!"

"It was best I could come up with!" Gohan whined. "I couldn't exactly tell everyone I was The Great Saiyaman!"

"It's embarrassing to look back on my life like this," Videl put her head on her hands. "I'm afraid to see what else in on this tape," she admitted.

"You want to see embarrassing, you have to see those pictures of Gohan when he used to wear that hat with the dragonball on top of it and boy, you should have seen his hair --"

"SHUT UP KRILLIN!"

¤¤¤

_"Videl: Kindergarten Cop"_

Five-year-old Videl proceeded to struggle with tying the laces on her sneakers. "Do you need help, sweetie?" Megara moved towards her daughter.

"No! I can do this myself," Videl managed to tie herself up in her right shoelace, nearly cutting off the circulation. She gasped for air and pulled at the strings as she struggled to get herself loose.

"Sweetie, you're going to be late for your first day of kindergarten," Megara tried to reason. "Let me help you just a little," Megara untangled her stubborn daughter and re-tied her laces properly. "Remember, after school you have your first meeting with Mr. Kuroki, your piano instructor."

Videl made a sour face. "Do I have to, Mama? I don't want to play the piano! It's stupid," she reasoned with the usual five-year-old logic.

"It is not stupid! The piano is a time old instrument that should be treasured and respected. When you master it, and you will master it my dear, the music will carry you off as it did for me," Megara recited for the millionth time (with Videl mouthing behind her back). "You will learn. Or there will be no training with your father."

Videl pouted, realizing she wasn't going to get her way. "Fine. But I'm going to hate it."

"You're too young to be so close minded," Hercule commented, zooming in on Videl's upset face. "Cheer up baby, you might actually like it. Now, let's go over the rules for 'Videl's First Day of Kindergarten!' What do you do if a boy tries to touch you?"

"Deck him."

"What do you do if a boy tries to talk to you?"

"Deck him."

"What do you do if--"

"HERCULE!" Megara boomed. "You're going to turn our daughter into some juvenile delinquent! Now Videl, just play nicely with the other children and have fun."

"If a boy tries to get fresh with you--" Hercule continued, ignoring his wife.

"Deck him!" Videl cheered, picking up her Superman lunch box. "Don't worry daddy, I'll be okay."

The next scene had Videl standing with her mother outside of the principal's office of the elementary school. Hercule was obviously once again behind the camera. Gohan was extremely familiar with the look on Megara's face, as Videl had apparently inherited the "When we get home, you are in such TROUBLE mister" look from her mother. "Videl did WHAT?!"

Principal Kyouko cleared her throat. "When little Chojiro went to ask your daughter for the pink crayon, your daughter punched him. Perhaps she has a little crush on Chojiro and this is her only way of expressing herself." The Principal frowned. "Is there a reason why you are taping this?"

"A CRUSH?!" Hercule bellowed. "I don't think so, lady. I don't know what kind of school you're running--" The camera turned suddenly to a little red haired boy. "Did she hurt you that bad, kid?"

"I think she broke my retainer!" Chojiro's green eyes watered.

"That's not the point Hercule! Videl hit another child. All your influence I gather. Come on, we're going home," Megara walked quickly. "I have never been so humiliated in my life." As she walked out of view Hercule turned the camera to Videl.

"Don't listen your mom," Hercule whispered. "I'm proud of you."

"I HEARD THAT!"

¤¤¤

By now everyone was rolling on the floor, tears in their eyes. Krillin turned a nice shade of blue in the face from lack of oxygen. Even Eighteen and Vegeta, who were infamous for their lack of expression, looked amused. Videl's face settled on a scarlet color from all the humiliation. Enough was enough Videl decided. What right did they have to hold her there and torture her like this?

"I'm leaving," Videl announced, standing up. "And you really can't stop me because holding hostages are against the--" her speech was soon interrupted as Goten and Trunks tackled her to the couch. "Let me GO! I swear on all that is good and holy if you don't get off me right now you won't live long enough to SCREAM when I get through with you!" Videl realized the hopeless situation and decided to take drastic measures. "If you really liked me, you would let me go," she looked up at Goten (who was an easier target then Trunks) and sniffled a little. "Don't you like me?"

Goten looked ready to burst into tears. Of course he liked her! But he wanted to watch more videos of little Videl. She was so cute and stuff. He sniffled, torn. Trunks elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't fall for your own trick dummy! You use that all the time!"

"You're the devil," Videl hissed at the prince's son. "And you're CRUSHING ME! How much do you two WEIGH?!"

Goten and Trunks removed themselves from Videl, but held down her arms. Videl looked toward Gohan for some help, but his eyes were glued to the screen. Videl sighed. "You can let me go. I'll be good."

"Don't listen to her boy," Vegeta smirked. "She's an insidious one. I recommend tying her up. Ropes and chains should suffice. Though she might enjoy that."

"Bastard," Videl spat. "Lecherous PERVERT!"

"More then you know."

"Shhh!" Gohan hissed, missing Vegeta's remark. If he was paying attention he might have freaked out about the implementation of S&M. "The next part is starting."

¤¤¤

_"Mozart's Got Nothing on Videl"_

Seven-year-old Videl sat at the beautiful baby grand piano sitting in her living room. A small, balding heavyset man sat next to her on the wooden bench. "You're doing wonderfully, Miss Satan, but you're not putting your heart in it. It sounds mechanical, like you're only employing technique without emotion.

Videl frowned. "I'm trying my best, sir."

Mr. Kuroki nodded. "I can see that. I can also see that you've been practicing very hard. In the past two years you have progressed faster then any student I have ever seen. But not once have I seen you smile when you're at this piano. I'll tell you a secret. The key to being a great musician is to love what you're doing. Pick a song, Miss Satan. Pick a song that explains who you are or what you feel. Then play it over and over like a religion. Eat the music, breathe the music, make lov—er… Care for the music as if it were your child. Then and only then, can you ever be truly satisfied."

Videl allowed a smile. "I picked one already."

"You did?" Mr. Kuroki looked surprise. "And you learned it in such a short time?"

"That's my girl!" Hercule said from behind the camera. "Oops, ignore me. I'm only here for observation."

Videl ran her fingers over the piano, her eyes turning sad. Mr Kuroki seemed to be paying closer attention to her facial expressions then to her playing. She cleared her throat and began to sing.

_I need a place where I can go.   
Where I can whisper what I know.   
Where I can whisper who I like   
and where I go to see them.   
  
I need a place where I can hide  
Where no one sees my life inside  
Where I can make my plans, and write them down   
So I can read them  
  
A place where I can bid my heart be still and it will mind me.   
A place where I can go when I am lost and there I'll find me.   
I need a place to spend the day   
Where no one says to go or stay.   
Where I can take my pen and draw   
the girl I mean to be_

Videl trailed off slowly, letting the last note linger. The camera quickly shot up, Hercule whistling like crazy. "Honey, you're amazing! I didn't realize how musically inclined you were before. You're mother is going to be so proud."

"Right. Proud," Videl said in a monotone voice. "Daddy, when can we go train?"

"Your mother said that training is absolutely and positively not allowed until the recital. If you hurt your hands then you won't be able to play," Hercule's tone was apologetic. "Sorry, sweat pea."

Mr. Kuroki snapped out of his shock. "Miss Videl! That was… I don't even know what to say! I'm so pleased. You put so much emotion and love into that. It's better then most of the adults I hear that play the piano. You'll grow up to be a fine pianist." His face showed pride for teaching the young prodigy. 

Videl's face showed only lingering sadness. 

¤¤¤

Everyone sitting in the room was silent. No one but Gohan, Bulma, Chi-Chi, Goku and Vegeta knew that Videl could sing, and not even they knew about the piano playing. "Is there anything you can't do?" Bulma asked finally.

"I can't draw for my life," Videl admitted. "And don't even ask me to sew."

"Do you still play?" Yamcha grinned. "I'm sure everyone would like a private concert."

"No!" Videl snapped her eyes turning angry. "No," she repeated softy. "I don't play anymore." Videl focused her gaze on Yamcha. "I've hardly touched a piano since my mother died. She always wanted me to be a pianist, but I had other plans for my life and I always gave her grief about playing. After her death I found no reason to continue."

"You were great," Goku said firmly. "And I'm sure if you want to someday, you can play again."

Videl gave him a small smile. "Maybe."

"Are there any other secrets we should know about?" Gohan teased, trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe a secret life? A secret identity?"

"A secret spy decoder ring, perhaps?" Vegeta snorted, looking at Yamcha. The scarred warrior blushed when Bulma burst out laughing, but Videl looked confused.

Bulma composed herself. "It's a long story, Videl."

"Spill it, Videl. Tell us all your secrets," Gohan meant it as a joke, but his dark eyes were burning into hers, as if the fate of the world depended on her answer. She smiled and poked his nose.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret now would it?"

Everyone laughed, the tension floating out of the room. Videl obviously had a lot of secrets about her life before meeting him… before becoming famous. Gohan prayed that one day she could confide in him, as he confided in her, bringing them even closer together.

¤¤¤

_"Rookie of the Year"_

A tall middle-aged man with dark blond hair and silvery blue eyes sighed heavily. He was watching several young children warm up for the tryouts for his little league baseball team, the Orange Star "Orange Stars". "So far, seven kids had knocked themselves out with a bat, four with a ball, three tried to slide and ended up eating dirt and one kid passed out because the catcher's equipment was so heavy. "Ryuuichi, tell me. Do you think we can actually win a game this year?"

The camera zoomed toward a child who was currently stretching, managing not to hurt himself. He had a particularly graceful air around him and seemed to be totally at ease. The coach's son, Ryuuichi, was heard in the background. If he was visible to the camera, the Z fighters would have seen that his hair and eye color were the same exact shade of his father's and he wore the same dark blue baseball jacket and matching hat, designating him assistant coach. "You know dad, that kid over there hasn't tripped, passed out, or cried once. Maybe this year will be your year."

"Let's see how he does at pitching. Yo! Kid!" Coach Hajime cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled.

The small child jogged his way over to the coach. "Yes, sir?"

"Sir? That's cute. Anyway, you're going to be the pitcher for now, alright?"

"DAAAAAAAD!" Another blond boy, about twelve or thirteen, jogged over to the two coaches. Unlike his father and older brother, his eyes were a deep violet color and they were currently flashing with anger. "I'm the pitcher. You said so! You know I'm the best player on the team!!!

"Jyou, we have to give each child a fair chance. Just take the first at bat," Hajime rubbed his temples. 

"Fine," Jyou grumbled, glaring at the child next to him before running towards the batter's box. The child stuck his tongue out when Jyou's back was turned. "You're going to get eaten alive. I'm the best player on this team."

"So you keep saying." The child winded up for the pitch. "The only thing you'll be eating is your words." 

Hajime had to pinch himself with the child struck his son out on three straight fastballs. Jyou was way behind on each one. To add insult to injury, the kid that was pitching had mouthed, "fastball, inside" before throwing the last pitch and Jyou had STILL missed it. "Ryu? Have I died and gone to heaven?"

Ryuuichi zoomed in. "Nope. You've got some rookie on your team this year."

Jyou fumed. "You think you're so great? It was beginners luck! I'd like to see you try that again!"

As the child struck out the rest of the team in record time, Hajime was nearly in tears. "Pinch me, Ryu, I must be dreaming."

Ryuuichi laughed. "Let's go greet your new player."

"Hey kid! KID!" Hajime ran towards his son and the child who were currently engaged in a glaring contest. "Tell me, what's your name? You're AMAZING!" He glomped the child, swinging him around and around. "We might actually win a game!"

The child got out of the coach's hold and took his hat and sunglasses off, a curtain of long ebony hair falling to his waist. "My name is Videl. Satan Videl."

Jyou's mouth fell to the ground. "She—she's A GIRL!"

Videl smirked. "Right in one, genius."

"You can't play baseball!" Jyou argued, digging his right cleat into the dirt. "You're a girl!"

"So what if I'm a girl? I'm better then you _and_ the rest of the boys on this team!"

Jyou bent down slightly, nearly touching his nose with hers. His gaze was deadly. "Why don't you go home and play with your dolls with your mommy?"

Videl pulled her fist back and hit him squarely in the nose. Jyou crumpled to the ground, a trickle of blood falling rapidly down his face. "Why don't you go home and play with _your_ dolls? It might be safer," she said.

"WHY YOU!!" Hajime had to hold Jyou back from hurting himself more, while Ryu snickered behind his hands. It was obvious his little brother was outmatched – this time.

"CALM DOWN!!!" Hajime screamed. "Apologize and shake hands NOW. My team gets along. No if ands or buts."

Videl put out her hand as Jyou shook it, dropping it as if it burned him. "Sorry."

"Yea, me too." It was evident in Videl's voice she wasn't.

"Hey!" A boy with the same white blond hair and violet eyes ran up to his father and brothers. He and Jyou bore a striking resemblance, Videl thought, looking between the boy on the ground and the new boy in front of her. In fact, the only difference she could see was their clothing; the new kid was in street clothes, not a uniform. 

"Oh God," Videl said in horror. "There are _two_ of you."

The boy looked at Videl, a blush coloring his cheeks. His feet seemed to be glued to the floor and suddenly his mouth didn't want to work. Alarmingly, he felt his throat close up as it usually did when he saw a pretty girl.

"He's my twin, stupid," Jyou snapped. "His name is Kyou. Kyou, run. Run far, far away. This girl will eat you if you're not careful."

"Don't call me stupid, you dummy!" Videl snapped back. She turned to Kyou. "Don't listen to him. You look a lot nicer and smarter then him. Do you play baseball too?" When Kyou could only gape at her, Videl narrowed her eyes. "Are you alright?"

After a couple of awkward, silent seconds, Kyou found that his legs were starting to respond. He did the smartest thing he could think of at the moment and quickly ran off before he could make a bigger fool of himself.

Videl watched his retreating back and turned to Jyou. "Is he always like that?"

"Pretty much," Ryuuichi answered. "By the way, I'm Ryuuichi. I'm Kyou and Jyou's older brother, and I'll also be the assistant coach this year."

"Lucky you," Videl smirked. "It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Coach Hajime," Hajime jumped in. "I'm their dad. You'll join the team right? How old are you?" He fired at her.

"Of course I'll join. I'm ten," she said proudly. "But don't let my age or size fool you." Videl tilted her chin upwards in a pure, arrogant fashion that would make Vegeta proud.

Jyou gawked. "You're only ten?" He fell to the ground with laughter. "I was wrong, you shouldn't be playing with dolls. You should be learning the alphabet!"

Before Videl could respond, another team had showed up to practice on Orange Star Field. The coach's jacket read "Cotton Candies", and right when Videl was about to make a clever remark about their idiotic name, a group of muscular looking boys waltzed into the field behind their coach. "Yuck. Who are they?" Videl stuck out her tongue.

"The Cotton Candies," Jyou frowned. "From West Capital. Undefeated all year last year. What I wouldn't give to win one game against them."

Coach Twizla walked over to the pitcher's mound and slapped Hajime on the back. "Hello, friend. How about you take your wannabe team off the field so us real baseball players can practice?" Twizla looked at the lineup of the Orange Stars and laughed heartedly. "I can't believe it, Hajime. Not only do you have little kids on your team," Twizla turned to Videl. "But you have girls!"

"This girl," Hajime growled. "Is better then your whole team put together!"

"So you won't mind a little practice game, then? Just to warm up," Twizla nodded for his team to flock over to him. "What do you say boys?"

A small boy with dark blond hair leered at Videl, his brown eyes sparkling. "You're pretty cute. Would you consider becoming a cheerleader for our team?"

Videl scoffed. "Would you consider dropping dead?"

The team laughed behind Sharpner, catcalling and jeering. Sharpner grinned, unabashed. "You know the meaner you are to me, the more I like you. Scary isn't it?"

"Leave her alone," Jyou stood in front of Videl. "Or you're going to get hurt. This girl has a right hook a boxer would be jealous of." Videl grinned in satisfaction as Jyou rubbed his nose to clear up any miscommunication. "Besides, I'm the only person allowed to mess around with her, and anyone else who tries will have ME to answer to."

"Let's just play ball," Videl calmly took a coin out of her pocket. "You call it."

"Heads," Sharpner frowned as it landed on tails.

"What do you say boys?" Videl pulled her long hair back. "They bat first."

The team looked hesitant to take orders from her. Jyou nodded at them, urging them to agree. "Let's do it!"

"I think we'll get along just fine," Videl patted Jyou on the shoulder.

"Wait, I knew you looked familiar! You're Master Satan's daughter!" Jyou's eyes widened at the realization. "He talks about you all the time, but I've never seen you. 'My daughter, the black belt', he's always boasting."

"Well, I am a black belt. What about you?"

"Test's next week," Jyou looked nervous for about a second, but he tightened up. "I'm still going to defeat you someday, Rookie, whether it be baseball or martial arts or ANYTHING. I've always been the best and I'll guarantee you it'll stay that way," Jyou swore, but Videl could already tell she had won him over.

Videl pushed him to second base as she took her new position as starting pitcher. She couldn't wait to clobber that arrogant Sharpschmuk or whatever his name was with the new curveball she was working on. "It's always nice to dream isn't it?"

¤¤¤

The camera focused on the blond twins, Kyou and Jyou. They had both grown up in the time that passed between the two segments, and with growing up came growing out of their identical identities. Kyou's white-blond hair was long and tied back in a ponytail. He donned a pair of wire-framed glasses and he wearing a dark blue sweater with khaki pants. Jyou was equally as handsome, but his blond hair was short and spiky, with the tips dyed black. Silver hoops trailed up his ears. He appeared to be wearing a costume of some sort, which consisted mostly of lace, nylon, and unidentifiable swatches of glitter and other shiny material. His face was painted assorted colors and he had a pair of wings on his back. 

"Jyou, what ARE you wearing?"

"I just came from the dress rehearsal of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. One fairy joke from you, Kyou, and I'll pummel you."

His brother struggled to hide a smile. "Right. No fairy jokes. Gotcha. It seems my brother forgot that you were coming, Marker. It's a good thing you caught him on a drama day and not on a day of his other – er – hobbies."

"What did I tell you, brother? Leather is not a hobby, it is a way of LIFE."

Marker chuckled behind the camera. "Before we go off on too many tangents, please state your full names and ages."

"Kyousuke, age 21."

"Jyoutarou, age 21."

"Relation to Videl?"

"Friend, tutor, therapist --" Kyou listed on his fingers.

"Rival, bodyguard, lover and sex toy," Jyou finished, leaning back on his bed. He kicked his pointed shoes halfway across the room and rubbed his feet. "I can't believe you came all the way to Verona to tape us for Videl. Now she's going to be even more spoiled."

"Whose fault is that?" Marker pointed out. 

Jyou winced. "Will you rub my feet, my dearest twin?" Jyou plopped his feet into Kyou's lap, who immediately batted him away. "The cruelty. Do you know how uncomfortable those little shoes are? Well, anyhow. 'Tis true. We have spoiled dear Videl in our times of youth. But if you're watching this Rookie, I have no choice but to tell you that when I come to visit I will defeat you in hand-to-hand combat. I shall smite thee well, and then, when you are at your vulnerableist, I shall woo you until you have no choice but to succumb to my manly manliness! Then and only then we can run off into the sunset together and make sweet love all day and night!"

Kyou chuckled at his brother's dramatics. "Very moving monologue, but 'vulnerableist' isn't a word. And don't you think that 'manliness' is it a little ironic coming from the person dressed like Thumbellina on crack?"

"I said no fairy jokes!"

"It wasn't a fairy joke per se."

"And running into the sunset with Videl might not go over too well with her new _boyfriend_," Marker laughed behind the camera.

Kyou's mouth dropped open, his laid-back expression fleeting. "B-boyfriend?" he whispered. "You're kidding."

Jyou's mouth dropped the same way. "She got herself a boyfriend?! That sly little fox! She must be getting some action because she said she'd _never_ go near another boy after her horrid childhood with me. Is he cute?" Jyou wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Is he cuter then me, Markie?"

"No one is cuter then you, Jyou," Kyou blanched at Marker's playful tone.

"Let's get back to this boyfriend business, you two can flirt later. What's he like?" Kyou's violet eyes turned worried. "Is he nice to her? Is he smart? Strong?" Kyou advanced on the camera. "Tell me, Marker, or I'll get Jyou to sic the rest of fairies on you! He's the king, you know."

"HEY! I don't make fun of your organic chemical pastry thingies, do I?"

Marker hesitated. "Well, his name is Son Gohan and he's a fighter. When they first met, he used to help her fight crime as his alternate ego known as The Great Saiyaman. She found out his secret identity and then apparently blackmailed him into joining the World Tournament."

"Shit," Jyou scowled, running his hands through his hair. He and Kyou were covered in a cloud of sparkles. "I wanted to be there but I had stupid finals. How'd Videl do?"

"She was doing really well, except the opponent she drew in the first round was this massive man that wouldn't even go down after she kicked the crap out of him. She really took a beating, and well, she lost. But the most interesting thing that happened was that Gohan had joined the tournament as the Great Saiyaman but after Videl was injured, he blew his cover in front of everyone. That's when we knew – even Videl realized it, I think – that he really cared about her." Marker paused. "To answer your questions Kyou, he's the smartest kid in out class, he's one of the strongest fighters I've ever seen and he treats Videl with kindness and respect."

Jyou narrowed his eyes. "The boy sounds too perfect to me. I bet he isn't cute."

"Tall, dark and built, my man."

Jyou's eyes watered. "But not cuter than me, riiiiiiight?"

Kyou ignored his brother. "He doesn't sound all that great. So what if he's smart, attractive, strong and nice? That isn't everything! I bet he's as arrogant as Sharpner."

"Actually, he's also pretty modest. He's always shirking the spotlight and he doesn't really know why people admire him"

"He sounds perfect for Videl," Jyou conceded. "But only for now. I know her. She'll get tired of his good boy act and she'll want a rebel. Someone dangerous. Someone that wears leather."

"I'll bet that person won't look like Rainbow Brite threw up on him, either," Kyou complained, as each movement Jyou made caused more sparkles to fall all over the room. "Will you stop that? I'm tired of following you around with the vacuum! Besides," Kyou returned to the subject at hand. "It's good to have something constant in your life."

"Boring," Jyou sang. "You know what they say, my dearest companions. The course of true love never did run smooth."

"Okay boys, let's get serious," said Marker. "What would you say is Videl's most redeeming quality?"

"She's got a nice ass," Jyou said bluntly. "And her chest is—" Kyou smacked him on the back on his head.

"Videl knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it no matter what. That kind of determination is very redeeming," Kyou said seriously. 

"Any bad qualities?"

Kyou and Jyou looked at each other. "Temper," they replied in perfect unison.

¤¤¤

"I'm not that bad!" Videl protested.

"It's part of your charm," Chi-Chi patted the girl on the back. "Saiyan men seem to be attracted to women with fiery tempers."

Videl cracked her knuckles. "I'm going to slaughter Jyou when I see him. He is the biggest pervert on the planet. Bigger then Yamcha, bigger then the pig, bigger then the OLD MAN!"

"What's his deal?" Krillin wondered. "He seems like your best friend and your worst enemy."

"Let's just say that Jyou sees me the same way Vegeta sees Goku. Except Vegeta doesn't want to have sex with Goku," Videl said thoughtfully. "Or I should hope not."

"Why you little –" Yamcha, Krillin AND Goku had to hold Vegeta back, who had his best It's-Time-To-Kill-And-Or-Destroy-Something look plastered across his reddened face. 

Gohan's eye twitched. For a second, he felt an emotion akin to jealousy. He wasn't drunk or even provoked this time, but the thought of that _thing_ on the television even _dreaming_ about touching his girlfriend made him angry. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. The fairy costume helped. It helped a lot. He couldn't picture Videl ever wanted to date someone willing to wear a costume like that.

"Anyway," Videl continued, "He's not serious most of the time. And he's like that with everyone. If it breathes, Jyou's all over it. And he's more interested in defeating me than sleeping with me, I'd wager anything."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow as Gohan grabbed Videl's hand possessively. Maybe the boy was shaping up to be a better Saiyan then he thought.

¤¤¤

_Videl's Christmas Kiss_

¤¤¤ 

Christmas music chimed in the background as the camera panned a large room filled with people. Outside, snow fell slowly to the ground, a toddler and small child both blond, were staring at the snow, mouths open wide.

"Videl, lookee! It's snowing!" the older boy exclaimed. Videl chuckled, and it was evident that she was behind the camera this time. "Maybe we can make snow angels later!"

The younger boy screeched in happiness and clapped his hands together. "Snow angels, snow angels! Vi make snow angels with Ruki!"

"That's right, but first we have to find your sister. If we made snow angels without her, she'd be angry," Videl said, walking towards the kitchen. Because Erasa's parents opened and operated a successful restaurant in Orange Star and Ryuuichi was studying to be a chef, the kitchen was always the busiest room in the house, other than the family room, of course. "Hey, Ryu. Have you seen Erasa?"

The tall, handsome boy turned from his sauce. "Oh, hey there Videl. I didn't even know you were here. Nice camera."

"It's daddy's. On loan."

"All ready for the World Tournament?" Ryu asked innocently. "It's coming up soon, isn't it?"

"Your brother thinks he's going to beat me."

Ryu laughed. "Well, he's always had high hopes. Your dad's the running favorite for the adult tournament, I've been hearing."

"Yeah. I hope he wins. He always gets depressed around this time of year. You know, the holidays and everything."

Ryuuichi grew serious. "He's a strong man. He saved that jewelry store owner from being shot when that robber broke into the store."

Videl groaned. "Okay, does anyone realize that that was a total accident? As the robber was fleeing he bumped into my dad who was drinking hot chocolate and—forget it." Videl zoomed in on the stove. "Do you need some help Ryu? And do you know where Erasa might be?"

"No thanks. I think she's with the Doublemint twins putting up the decorations and finishing the tree." Ryuuichi turned his attention back to the sauce. "Be careful where you step when they're done with the decorations. Yesterday Mom and Dad bought over twenty packages of mistletoe."

"Thanks for the tip," Videl walked to the back end of the living room where the three siblings were busy putting up the last of the decorations. Erasa was holding Jyou's chair as he pinned the rest of the silver tinsel over their large window. Kyou was finishing stacking the presents under the tree. She saw Marker who was sitting on the couch, for once without his beloved camera. "Hey Videl."

"Hi. Do you guys need any help?" Videl offered. 

"Nah, we're almost… done!" Jyou stepped down from the chair. "Let's say we all go out and enjoy the snow before the rest of the guests get here. Up to the challenge of a snow ball fight, Rookie?"

Videl smirked. "You know it. How about boys against girls? Oh… which team are you on Jyou?"

"It's every _man_ for _himself_," Jyou growled. He stomped out the door, everyone following behind.

"Can I see the camera?" Marker asked. "Just for a little?"

"Sure. Just be careful with it, it's my dad's," Videl handed the camera over to Marker. She turned to Ken and Haruki who were waiting eagerly. "Ready to go outside boys?"

"YES!"

Videl quickly stuffed the boys into their jackets, boots, mittens, scarves, and hats. As soon as she was satisfied, she opened the door and walked outside. The snow was gently falling, but the sun was shining brightly. As soon as Haruki stepped into the snow, he sank into it. He flailed his little arms. "EEEK! Viviiiii! Stuuuuuuck!" Videl quickly plucked Haruki out of the snow and took his hand. Ken possessively grabbed her other free hand. "You're so accident prone, Haruki. You destroy more things then Godzilla." She glanced at Ken. "You're not much better. But I think you do it on purpose. You both look cute but I know better." Videl put on a mock stern face. "You will now be known as the holy terrors Search and Destroy." 

Ken giggled. "That's so funny, isn't it Destroy?"

Haruki looked confused but then grinned. "Ruki go smash smash crash!"

Marker zoomed in as the three children joined up with the rest of the kids as they ganged up on Kyou, shoving him into a pile of soft snow. Videl tore after Jyou, who had stuffed a snowball down her shirt. "GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT!"

A small blond woman stuck her head out of the door of the modest sized house. She smiled as she saw her children playing in the snow. She winced as she saw Videl finally get a hold on her son. If she didn't do something, Jyou could end up in traction. "Children! Dinner's ready!" 

Marker turned the camera to Yukari. "Would you like some help setting the table, ma'am?" 

Yukari laughed. "Oh, no thank you. You're our guest! And please, call me Yukari. 'Ma'am' makes me feel so old." 

Everyone made his or her way to the large and impressive table. The table with filled to the brim with foods such as turkey, mashed potatoes, salads and all kinds of things that made everyone watching this video drool. Marker set the camera down, aiming it so that it showed the guests sitting at the long table.

"I heard you went to the mall and saw Santa, Search," Videl said pleasantly as she passed the stuffing down to Kyou who was sitting on her left. "I also heard you kicked him in the shin."

"Search?" Hajime asked, trying to divert attention from the Santa incident.

"The children once known as Ken and Haruki have been dubbed Search and Destroy by Miss Satan," Jyou grinned. "She also gave me a nickname, but I can't repeat it without getting my mouth washed out with soap. But do tell Search. What happened this afternoon?"

"I told Santa that I wanted to be an only child but he asked if I wanted one of those transformer toys instead," Search shrugged. "I guess that'll have to do."

Hajime nearly fell over into his soup. "Sorry for the disappointment, son." He turned to his unusually silent daughter. "Honey, what did you want for Christmas?"

Her light blue eyes lit up at the mention of presents. "Clothes. Lots and lots of clothes!" 

Hajime sighed with relief. That was an easy one. "Videl?"

"I was hoping for a pair of gloves for baseball," Videl smiled. "Maybe a pair of black fingerless ones. Jet Li wore a pair like them in his last movie!"

_YES! I am the man! _Hajime thought. Not only had he gotten her a pair of black fingerless gloves, he had purchased a huge Jet Li poster she could add to her Jet Li shrine.

"After dinner we'll adjourn to the living room for some good old Christmas songs!" Yukari sparkled in delight. "Videl, Jyou. Would you mind playing the piano for us? OH! And Kyou can accompany on his violin. Won't that be fun?"

Videl put her fork down. "Um. No thanks. Jyou can play for the both of us."

"Oh pwease Vivi!" Destroy pleaded. "Pweaaaase?"

Videl turned away from the rays of cuteness Destroy was radiating at the moment. "One song."

"Four," Yukari argued.

"Two," Videl sighed. 

"Three! And that's final," Yukari nodded after she said this, as if coaching Videl's thoughts to agree with her.

Videl rolled her eyes and walked into the living room while everyone finished eating. She heard footsteps behind her. Jyou grinned at her. "I bet I can play better then you, Rookie."

"Right, and then you woke up," Videl smirked back at him. "Jyou?"

"What?" Jyou sat next to her at the piano bench and played a few chords.

"What did you want for Christmas?" Videl asked. Jyou had been the hardest person to shop for. His interests changed every week and she couldn't keep up. She had gotten him limited edition baseball cards and assorted CDs and things, but she wasn't exactly sure what he wanted.

"Honestly?" Jyou raised an eyebrow. She nodded. "Close your eyes."

Videl looked suspicious. "Why?"

"Just do it," Jyou said impatiently as he turned to face her on the piano bench. He winked at the camera before putting his hands on her small shoulder and kissing her on the lips. Her eyes popped open as she stared in shock as he pulled away seconds later. He pointed above the piano where a sprig of mistletoe hung. "You should always expect the unexpected." He got a head start running for his life.

"PERVERT! LETCH! SEX FIEND!" Videl screamed as she chased him and inevitably caught him.

"What happened?" Kyou asked Marker as the sounds of something or someone being throwing into the cement wall of the basement. 

"Your brother kissed Videl and she freaked," Marker laughed. "You should have seen the look on her face! Priceless!"

"I'LL KILL HIM!" Kyou clenched his fists. "That is, if Videl lets him live long enough for me to kill him! But if she does, I'll definitely kill him!"

Jyou appeared a few seconds later, his blond hair mussed and his sweater dirty. "Was it worth it?" Marker asked.

"Oh, yeah," Jyou grinned through his obvious pain.

"Hmph," Videl crossed her arms. "I am never talking to you AGAIN, Jyoutarou! You are the biggest pervert I've ever met!" 

Ryu quickly grabbed the camera from Marker and aimed it at the four teens. "This is better then a soap opera. The beast has kissed the beauty. However, he unfortunately still remains a beast. Pity. But how about kisses for your rescuers, the two prince charmings?" Ryu said slyly.

Videl glared but saw the hopeful looks on Kyou and Marker's faces. "Oh all right," she leaned over and kissed them both on the cheek. Kyou's face turned bright scarlet as his eyes rolled to the back of head. He lost consciousness and fell back into Marker's arms.

Videl frowned. "What was that all about?" She shrugged and glanced at Marker, who had one hand around the fallen boy and the other on his cheek, a rather dreamy expression on his face. "I say next Christmas we ban the use of mistletoe. It's dangerous."

¤¤¤

_A Serious Mockumentary: A Day in the Life of Satan Videl_

"Oh my GOD," Erasa wheezed from behind the camera. She had a right to be tired; she had just shimmied up the drainpipe leading to Videl's room, with one hand no less. And before that, she had had to trip the security system (thank goodness she had known the code) and race across the lawn so that not even the paperboy would see her. She finally reached Videl's window and pried it open. "Thank GOD she lives on the second floor. I think I just burned off the chocolate pie I ate for dinner last night. Wow. I forgot how big her room is." She panned the camera around the room. The room was incredibly spacious, probably bigger then Gohan's entire house. Erasa knew that Videl's walls were once painted blue, but each wall was almost entirely covered in Jet Li posters and pictures of her and her friends. She had beautiful cherry wood shelves that held books, awards, medals and various trophies. On the highest shelf was the Second Degree Black Belt she had earned years before. Erasa stopped on the forth wall parallel to the door. A huge dry erase board covered almost half the entire wall. It read: Why Gohan HAS to be the Great Saiyaman/ Why Gohan can't possibly be the Great Saiyaman. Tracing the edges of the board were rough sketches of the Great Saiyaman, photographs and lists of "tricks" he used. Erasa laughed lightly as not to wake the sleeping girl. "Videl really needs a new hobby. It seems the Great Saiyaman is her new obsession."

¤¤¤

"You didn't believe me when I said that I would find out who you were," Videl said triumphantly. 

"I'll never doubt you again," Gohan was in shock from the fact his alter ego was plastered all over her room. "NEVER."

¤¤¤

Erasa zoomed in on the sleeping girl, in all her oblivious glory. "Saturday is Videl's day off. This is the only day of the week when she sleeps in. I kept her up extra late last night to make sure I could come in unnoticed." Videl didn't so much as stir in her sleep. Her long ebony hair was down and a few strands were over her face. She was wearing her usual sleeping attire, the blanket covering from her stomach to her feet. "Isn't she so cute? Well, let's go into her closet and see what fun things she might have in here." Erasa walked to the closet and opened the door, muffling her screams as a few fifteen-pound weights fell to the floor with a thud, thankfully missing her. She glanced over to Videl who hadn't moved an inch. "Whew. Nothing really interesting in here…" Erasa flipped through the multitude of clothes with her left hand. Most of them were garments that Erasa had forced her best friend to buy. "Oh my," Erasa pulled out a silky blue halter dress and held it up to the camera. "I can't wait to get her into this dress!"

After showing more outfits to the camera, Erasa walked over to Videl's desk. She pulled out a couple of reports ("All As, of course," she said), some letters ("We used to write each other when I went away to summer camp. I think she wrote my brothers, also.") and her school schedule ("She's always taking a zillion classes. I don't know how she finds time for anything."). Erasa flipped through a notebook or two, being sure to point out the little doodles of the Great Saiyaman in the corners. "Obsessed, much?" Erasa lowered her voice to a mere whisper. "Videl's a smart cookie. She'll figure it out sooner or later."

¤¤¤

"Erasa KNEW?" Gohan gaped, unwilling to believe it.

Videl nodded. "She told me later that she'd seen you change into the outfit and fly off the roof. But she could have figured it out on her own. She's smarter than people give her credit for."

Eighteen snorted. "Blondes get no respect."

¤¤¤

Erasa made her way over to Videl's dresser drawers. "Boring," she stated, rummaging through what was clearly an undergarment drawer. "Boring, boring, boring, boring, oh this has potential," she said, lifting up something purple. She rotated it in front of the camera, revealing a lacy bra. "Oh, Videl. What have we here?"

¤¤¤

Videl shook with anger. "I'll kill her."

Gohan said nothing. This was because he was trying to control the bleeding of his nose.

"I don't even wear that! It was a gift!" protested Videl, shaking Gohan. "Gohan, snap out of it!"

"It's useless," said Vegeta. "The boy's supposedly a genius, but the most experience he's had with women has been with Sara Lee and Aunt Jemima." 

¤¤¤

_A Serious Mocumentary: School Daze_

¤¤¤

"Erasa, you're worse than Marker," Videl said, dragging her tray along the metal bar in the cafeteria. "Put the camera down."

"School project," Erasa lied spectacularly. "_The Life of a Normal Orange Star Student_."

Videl frowned, putting an apple on her tray. "Go bother someone NORMAL then."

"Aw, Videl, you're not abnormal," said Marker, reaching over her for an orange. "You're just special."

Sharpner came up behind Videl and threw a large arm over her shoulder. "She's _especially_ lucky to be dating a great guy like me."

Videl tossed Sharpner a dirty look and removed his arm gingerly. "You'll be _especially_ lucky to live if you keep saying stuff like that."

Marker smiled. "Hey look, there's that new kid. We should ask him to eat with us."

"No way," Videl sat herself down underneath the shady tree. "He's too weird to even hang out with us."

"But he's so cute!" Erasa protested.

"Cute? Only a mother could love _that_ face. Speaking of which, who picks out his clothes? It looks like he closed his eyes and randomly picks things out of his closet. Oh my God, and his hair! It looks like he stuck a finger in an outlet. I think he's the only person who is as dorky as the Great Saiyaman. I'm not sure whose uglier, Gohan or the Great Saiyaman. Although, I've never seen the Great Saiyaman's face… but anyway, that's not the point. What was I saying again?"

"You were talking about Gohan," Marker said helpfully.

"Oh yeah." Videl bit into her apple. "Did you see what happened during gym last week? What was up with that?" She sneered. "'New shoes' my ass. He got hit in the face with a baseball and blinked like it didn't even hurt him _and_ he jumped about twenty feet in the air and _stayed_ up there. I don't care what anyone else says, he's strange."

Erasa coughed behind the camera. "Aw, Videl, you know he's a cutie. You should give him a chance."

Videl scoffed. "Cutie? Gag. I wouldn't date him if he were the last person on earth."

"I have a chance then!" exclaimed Sharpner.

"As if," chorused the entire table, Videl being the loudest.

¤¤¤

Videl coughed a few times. Gohan did not look especially happy with the last few remarks that she had made. In fact, he looked downright insulted. The girl that he liked more than anything had, on film, taken jabs at his face, his mother and his clothes. Well, how was she supposed to know that he'd ever see this tape? And what was Vegeta doing? His hands were over his mouth and he was making a sound that resembled a cross between a cough, bark, and a chuckle. She guessed it was the closest he had ever come to laughing at something other then world domination and defeating Goku.

"Err…" Videl started. Before she could apologize for embarrassing Gohan, Gohan stood up abruptly and stalked angrily out of the room. "Gohan! Wait!" Videl ran after him, nearly tripping over Trunks on the way. "Gohan, come on. Give me a chance to explain!"

Gohan continued walking briskly, throwing open the front door and storming onto the lawn. When he spoke, he neither stopped walking nor turned around. "What? Have you come to insult me some more? Make fun of my ugly face and hair and clothes and my strangeness? I think you've done a good job of that already," Gohan said bitterly, staring at the grass.

"Listen. I don't think you're ugly or strange or any of those things I said! I didn't even mean them _then_. I really did think you were cute, nice, and smart. And that was something that I couldn't handle. Look, I seem really cool and calm and stuff, but before I met you I'd never had any real feelings for someone before. I was never so attracted to someone so much and it kind of scared me. After knowing you for only a couple of days, I was ready to throw myself at your feet, and that is completely out of character for me. Insulting you was my immature way of overcompensating," Videl said this all very fast, and was running out of breath by the end of her speech. "But don't worry, I worked all my issues out with my therapist." 

"You went to a therapist?" Gohan asked in shock, his anger disappearing momentarily. 

"Well. No. But I thought it would make you feel better," Videl grinned. "Anyway, I'm really sorry that I said those things. It was really cruel and insensitive of me and I apologize." She glanced at him as he still stared at the ground. "You should watch the end of the tape. If Erasa really followed me around all day, she probably caught me throwing a temper tantrum in my bedroom, screaming about the injustice of liking someone so much."

"You… really said that?" Gohan asked incredulously.

"Well, not in so many words," Videl winked. "Well Great Saiyaman? Isn't this the part where you have to rid me of my evilness?"

"What?" Gohan blinked as she walked over towards him. "But you're not evil."

"Oh well," Videl put her arms around his neck. "I think I'll call this 'Satan's Kiss of Impurity'," Videl kissed him softly on the cheek. He turned his head and leaned down to kiss her on the lips. He broke off when he heard a loud gagging noise from the front door.

"It's okay, mom!" Trunks called. "They're just making out! I thought there would have been at least a little bloodshed."

"We were _not_ making out!" Gohan protested, jumping three feet away from Videl.

Videl laughed. "Really, Trunks. I thought you were more mature then that. Even Goten seems to understand about kissing."

Trunks stomped his foot. "I am mature! If Goten understands it, then I understood and did it six years earlier!"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"

Videl bent down and kissed him lightly on the cheek, watching the emotions flickering across with face with amusement. Shock? Check. Embarrassment? Check. Disgust? Check check. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm diseased! EEEEWWWWW!!!" Trunks ran shrieking into the house, furiously wiping his cheek.

Videl held up the victory sign. "Well. That should make him think twice about walking in on us, don't you think?"

"You _are_ pure evil," Gohan said with admiration in his voice.

"I know. Don't you just love it?"

¤¤¤

-Notes-: 

_The Girl I Mean to Be_ is from the Secret Garden soundtrack. I just couldn't resist!

When Videl is talking about not wanting to watch anymore embarrassing videos, she's referring to the Great Saiyaman and Videl video in chapter 4 (You know, the porn video that featured Fem!Vegeta, Suave!Yamcha, Baywatch!Videl, Skinny!Gohan, Rocker!Trunks, Dog!Chi-Chi and Dead!Krillin?)

_Hell's Kitchen _was an idea Ilana and I came up with at three in the morning. Don't worry, there will a return of HealthConcious!Hercule.

-Soundtrack for Chapter 12-: Empty Chairs at Empty Tables (Les Miserables); Javert's Suicide (Les Miserables); The Good Fight (Dashboard Confessional)

-Next Time on _Misadventures_-: Chapter 13: Videl's Misadventures in Part-Time Jobs and School Plays Videl starts working at Capsule Corp. None of her co-workers seem to take her seriously, thinking she's just a rich kid with a free ride. Can she show them what she can really do without killing anyone in the process? Can Gohan manage to see her without there being gossip? Can Vegeta behave long enough for her to actually do work? And who is this woman, Ainoko, who seems to think Videl's relationship with Vegeta is more then meets the eye? Also, the Junior/Senior showcase is coming up and Lillia has come up with an evil scheme to get both Gohan and Videl involved. But Videl has a deep seeded fear of performing in front of an audience. Can Lillia convince Videl to get over her fear without ruining the whole show? Can Gohan even sing? Find out next time on the _Misadventures of Videl and Gohan!_

-New! And Improved! With Delicious Goodness!-: It's the debut of the _Misadventures of Videl and Gohan _website! Just head over to and you will find oodles of goodies, such as the story itself, character profiles, fan art, other stories by the same author and much much more! Don't forget to check it out!

  
  


¤¤¤

Oh yeah. You didn't think we'd actually deprive you loyal readers of that last scene, did you?

¤¤¤

Gohan plopped the tape into the VCR late that night, surrounded by the Son's softest blanket and a huge bowl of popcorn. With his legs propped up on the coffee table (after looking around to make sure that his mother wasn't anywhere in sight) he reached for the remote control and pressed play.

"And here we have the elusive Videlbunny, also known as _Satanus videlus_." whispered Erasa, who was clearly somehow hanging outside of Videl's window. It seemed to be late in the evening, as Videl was already dressed for bed and doing her usual nightly ritual: staring at the pictures of Gohan and the Great Saiyaman, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. "She has begun the very rare Satan mating ritual, which begins with stalking her prey."

Gohan nearly spit out his popcorn, trying to control his laughter. Videl was right; Erasa did _not_ get enough credit. The girl was insanely hilarious.

"Notice her frustration at the nature of her prey," Erasa commented in the exact tone of a documentary narrator as Videl pulled at her pigtails. "She doesn't even understand most of the mating ritual herself, as the possessive alpha male is her father and has prohibited her from such exposure."

"Videl!" came a shout from downstairs. "Go to sleep and stop staring at posters of Jet Li! He's a boy and boys are ALL EVIL!"

Videl sighed, turning away from the pictures of Gohan. "Yes, daddy," she called, throwing herself down on her bed.

"Watch as she contemplates her next move," said Erasa, zooming in on Videl's face. The brunette's eyes were closed and she seemed to be in deep thought. "Will she defy the alpha male and pursue her prey? Will the prey let himself be caught? This documentarian thinks he will."

Gohan snorted. No, Videl had caught him, fair and square.

"Ucccccch," said Videl, sitting up on the bed. "There is something SO WEIRD about both of them! They have to be the same person! They have to, they have to, they have to!" She clenched her fists together and reached over to her nightstand. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I just want to SCREAM!"

Erasa snickered, but managed to compose herself. "If you listen carefully, dear watcher, you may be able to witness the rare Satanbunny mating call."

There was silence, and then, suddenly "I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!!!!!! WHY DO I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME? IT JUST ISN'T NATURAL!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"And there you have it, folks," whispered Erasa as a plethora of darts whizzed by the camera, landing squarely on a picture of Gohan. "It's as close to a confession of interest as one is going to get with the uncommon Videlbunny. However, her prey, the Gohanbunny, is blissfully unaware of the next stage of Satan mating rituals, defeating the female in combat to earn her respect and, eventually, her love. Can he do it? I think so. Does he want to? Well, that's a whole other documentary."

Videl stomped over to the picture and pulled out the darts. "One boy should not be allowed to occupy my mind for such an extended period of time. And he isn't even that cute!" She stomped about ten feet away and paused, letting one dart fly. "Alright, he is cute. Possibly the cutest boy in school." She pulled back and threw another one. "And he's smart. Too smart for his own good." And another. "ARGH! But he can't fight! He can't be the Great Saiyaman if he can't fight. Unless he purposely took that punch from that Red Shark jerk, but is he smart enough to do something like that to throw me off his trail?" She threw the last one, and it landed right on Gohan's nose. "That would be pretty crafty of him. Alright, I give up. By the process of elimination, Gohan is the ONLY person that could be the Great Saiyaman!" Videl flopped back onto her bed. "Now, I just need to prove it and somehow convince him to fight in the tournament. THEN I can show him who's the strongest fighter around here! I would love nothing more than to beat that goofy smile off his face!" 

"I'm sure you will, Videlbunny," said Erasa, "I'm sure you will. Tune in next time for the next episode of Urban Wildlife, in which the Videlbunny finally unmasks and seizes her prey. Are you excited? I know I am!"

Videl's eyes suddenly narrowed and focused right on the camera. "Erasa? Is that you? What did I tell you about following me around? Did you shimmy up the drainpipe again?"

Erasa laughed nervously. "This is Erasa, signing off!" The scene suddenly blackened, but Gohan could still hear the audio.

"ERASA! Get your blonde ass back here! How much of that did you get? And how did you get past daddy's Dobermans? Erasa! ERASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

Gohan laughed out loud and pressed the stop button. As he turned off the light and made his way to his room, he whispered to no one in particular:

"To be continued, dear watcher."

***


	14. Misadventures in Part Time Jobs

**-About Misadventures-:** The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z. However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a horrible job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things. But anyway). Common housewife, humph. We don't think so. From there, Misadventures has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done this and that with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist. But you already knew that. 

**-About This Chapter-:** Okay, it took a long time. Both authors had a horrible semester, and so as long as we keep updating from now on, will you forgive us?

**-Mailing List-:** If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject: Mailing List. Your name will be added to our Yahoo ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

**-Disclaimer-:** We don't own Dragonball, though Marker and Lillia are ours. Seriously. We invented Marker. He's not that annoying guy with glasses who sits in front of Videl and Gohan in school. People tend to think that's him for some reason, but it isn't. We don't own any rights to the video games mentioned either; Super Smash Bros. Melee and associated characters belong to Nintendo/HAL Laboratory, Inc. Toriyama owns everything else.

**-Our Baby-:**

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan**  
**By** CCS Angel00 and Absolut Angel  
**Brought to you by: ***sings offkey*Waves and Rocks

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**Chapter 13: **Videl's Misadventures in Part-Time Jobs and School Plays  
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Trunks lounged on his bed, GameCube controller in one hand and bottle of water in the other. Goten sat at the foot of the bed, Indian style, facing the far wall. Trunks' room had always been cool, but since Bulma had installed the new "Wall Television" prototype, it was completely awesome. The entire wall, which had to be at least twenty feet across, replaced Trunks' big screen, and now when the duo watched movies or played video games, they had the entire wall at their disposal.

"What do you want to play next?" asked Goten, dipping a potato chip into salsa. "I'm dying to play the Legend of Zelda. It's so cool that your mom gets all the video games before they're released."

Trunks shook his head. "I think we should play Melee. We haven't played it in awhile."

"Okay," Goten agreed. "Only if I get to be Link, though."

The prince's son reached over and placed Super Smash Brother's Melee into the GameCube. "I don't know what your obsession with that stupid elf is; Roy is MUCH cooler."

"If I was going to be a Fire Emblem character, I'd be Marth, definitely," Goten countered, grabbing a controller. "The video game was awesome, but the movie was better."

"Blech, too much of that kissy-kissy stuff and not enough fighting," said Trunks, picking Hyrule Castle as the battling ground.

"Oh?" Goten wasn't about to tell Trunks that he didn't mind the romantic stuff most of the time. He didn't want Trunks to think that he was a wimp or girly or anything.

Trunks made a face. "Yeah, it's disgusting. It was even grosser when Videl kissed me the other day. It was the most sickening thing ever!"

"What?" 

There was a terrible silence as Goten absorbed this information. Trunks could almost see the wheels turning in Goten's head.

Videl. 

Videl kissed.

Videl kissed TRUNKS!

"WHAT?!" Goten jumped up, face red with rage. "VIDEL DID WHAT?!"

Trunks put up his hands in protest. "Goten, calm down. It was only on the cheek, and I told you, it was disgusting!"

"You traitor! And you call yourself my best friend!" There was a crack as Goten's fist connected with Trunks' jawbone. "This is the ultimate betrayal!"

Trunks rubbed his jaw. "What the hell -- Goten, what's wrong with you?"

Goten extended his left leg in a roundhouse that Trunks easily dodged, but Goten penetrated Trunk's defense and landed three solid punches to the gut. They'd been training together so long that Trunks knew Goten probably wasn't playing around, and when he raised his head, the tears streaming down Goten's face was the clincher. "How could you?" Goten practically sobbed, his battle aura building dangerously. "When you know how I… and Gohan… and how COULD YOU?!"

"Listen," Trunks attempted to placate his friend, merely dodging the next series of punches instead of retaliating. "I didn't ask to her kiss me. And it didn't mean anything, it was like a sister kisses a brother!" Trunks began to seriously panic as a soft blue light originating from his best friend's hands indicated that he was in grave trouble. "Holy SHIT Goten, you know the rules! No fighting in the house!"

"Fine," his companion gritted his teeth, picked Trunks up and hastily threw him out the window. Trunks hovered in mid-air over the front lawn of Capsule Corp., trying to desperately to figure out how things had gotten out of control so fast. He gathered that it had something to with Goten's misplaced feelings for Videl; yes, she was pretty, and strong and nice, but having a crush on your brother's girlfriend just wasn't healthy. Goten faced Trunks, and surrounded himself in a storm of gold, ascending to Super Saiyan. "Prepare to die!"

"I've died and landed in the twilight zone," Trunks muttered, dodging Goten's haphazardly thrown _ki_ discs. "Or Ranma 1/2. Goten! Calm down!" He let his own aura rise substantially, becoming a Super Saiyan mostly for defense purposes. Trunks had no intention of really fighting Goten, knowing that his best friend was attacking blindly and out of pure rage. But if he didn't stop this soon, Goten was going to end up hurting someone, or worse, himself. 

A crowd began to gather below the pre-teens. Vegeta had detected the rise in _ki_ from his training room and rushed out onto the lawn, Bulma following closely behind from the lab. Her personal assistant, a short blonde woman named Ainoko, led a small group of Capsule Corp. workers, who, by this time, had still not gotten used to the strange things that happened around the complex, and had also assembled to watch the fight.

"Dr. Briefs," Ainoko addressed Bulma, pushing her glasses up onto her nose. "Isn't that your son?"

"It's not fair!" Goten screamed, fists balled up at his side. "Why did she kiss you? Does she like you better?!"

Vegeta blinked, using the towel that was draped around his shoulders to wipe his forehead. It was apparent that serious training had been interrupted. "What the hell are they fighting over? A WOMAN?! Those two are barely out of diapers!"

Bulma shook her head, tapping her fingernails against the goggles that hung around her neck. "I have no idea what's going on, but it has to stop. It's enough when you and Goku go at it during working hours. I can't have them disrupting business like this."

"You should have sent them to school then," commented Vegeta, managing to suppress a smile as Trunks expertly dodged a series of punches, "instead of having them see private tutors."

Goten pulled back his arms and reached forth with a _Kamehameha_ that lit the sky a brilliant blue. Trunks' eyes widened and he was only barely able to duck the incoming _ki_ blast, tumbling backwards a couple of meters by the sheer force of the wave.

"That was close," muttered Vegeta and Bulma at the same time. Trunks reached up to touch a strand of his hair, singed. He frowned when he realized that the _ki_ blast probably burned a good deal of his hair to a crisp. He was beginning to get angry; no one messed with the hair.

"I DON'T want to hurt you, Goten!" he screamed, deflecting two subsequent blasts. "And you know you don't want to hurt me either, or any of the people standing below us, so CUT IT OUT!"

Bulma frowned. "Home schooling seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Is that so?" lamented Vegeta. "Was this before or after you considered the possibility that there may not be any home left after such an endeavor?"

"Dr. Briefs, should I fetch Mrs. Son?" Ainoko asked innocently, unearthing a cell phone. 

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" screeched Bulma, reaching over and grabbing the phone. Vegeta refrained from covering his ears. "If Chi-Chi knew what was going on here, she'd throw a fit!" 

"Then you better figure out a way to stop their fighting," said Vegeta, staring at the two dancing, golden figures in the sky, "because Kakkarot will be here in thirty seconds."

"Oh no!"

Goten sniffled, wiping his nose with his sleeve. He still hovered in mid-air, though it was taking all of his strength to stay upright. His _ki_ was dangerously low. "Trunks… how… she KISSED you… why…?"

Bulma muttered, "WHO are they talking about?"

"It didn't mean anything! Goten… she already HAS a boyfriend. He was WATCHING! Videl is like a SISTER to me!"

Before Bulma or Vegeta had a chance to react, Son Goku appeared directly in front of the two, scaring the living daylights out of Bulma. "GOKU!" she screamed, her hands over her heart. "How many times have I told you NOT TO DO THAT!"

"Kakkarot," Vegeta acknowledged his rival.

"Where did Mr. Son come from?" Bulma's assistant wondered out loud, staring at the cell phone that was now in her boss' possession. She hadn't had a chance to call Mrs. Son to inform her of her son's indiscretion, so how had her husband known to come?

Goku looked at Bulma's assistant. "Well, it's called 'Instant Transmission' and it's a _ki_ technique I learned on the Planet Yar-pheeet," his explanation was cut off by Bulma's hand covering his mouth. 

"Goku is very talented," Bulma offered weakly, keeping her hands over her best friend's mouth. "Our sons are fighting," she hissed into Goku's ear. "Make it stop."

Goku's eyes lit up. "Really? Who's winning?"

"Currently, it is at a standstill," Vegeta stated. "However, I am inclined to believe that Trunks has been holding back due to the fact that your son is a complete moron and attacked him purely out of anger."

"Vegeta," Bulma hissed. "Cut it out."

Goku scratched his head and giggled nervously. "Goten does seem to have a problem controlling his emotions, doesn't he?"

Vegeta turned his head, scoffing in annoyance. "Humans."

In the sky, Goten's keen hearing picked up on the conversation. He had been in the middle of generating enough power for another _Kamehameha_, when he heard what the adults were talking about. He halted his attack, letting the energy dissipate at his fingertips. He _was_ being moronic, wasn't he? He looked down at his shoes, face flaming with embarrassment. "Trunks, I'm… sorry, I didn't mean to… attack you."

"You idiot," chided Trunks, floating over to Goten's side. "You let your anger and jealousy get the best of you, and now you're completely drained, aren't you?"

Goten's eyes began to close of their own accord. "N-no," And then, suddenly, he didn't have enough energy to keep him upright and began to descend to the ground. There was a group gasp from below, but then a group sigh of relief as Trunks caught his best friend deftly in his arms and landed softly in front of Goku.

"I think this belongs to you," Trunks said, fairly disgusted. He handed over his best friend to Goku. "I can't believe how thick Goten is sometimes."

Vegeta looked from Goku to Goten. "Are you really that surprised, Trunks?"

Bulma sighed at the damage around the grounds. The main office building suffered the most, taking the brunt of three _Kamehameha_ waves. One of the smaller buildings had a small fire on the roof, and the windows had been blown out of the basement laboratory. "I think next year those two are getting enrolled in public school. Capsule Corp. can't afford much more damage."

"I have a HUGE headache," commented Bulma's assistant. "Things around here get weirder and weirder every day." She glanced over at Vegeta, and gave him what she hoped was a dazzling smile. "I don't how _you_ can stand it, Mr. Briefs. You must get terribly disconcerted with all of the disturbances."

Bulma gritted her teeth. If her assistant was going to continue to flirt with her husband, she wasn't going to continue being her assistant. "Ainoko, he's practically the cause of most of these disturbances. Now, go back inside. There is a stack of contracts on your desk I need you to go over, as well as the final paperwork for the new lab intern. She's starting today." Bulma was going to have a little talk with Vegeta about his clothing, or rather, lack of clothing, around the office. He attracted way, WAY too much attention for her liking, especially from her female employees.

"Videl Satan, right? I'm on it, Dr. Briefs," Ainoko hurried back towards the main building, where maintenance workers were already working on the damages. "See _you_ later, Mr. Briefs."

The acting president of Capsule Corp. practically radiated a white-hot anger. "Why that little --"

Vegeta put a hand on her shoulder. "Bulma, calm down. She's practically invisible."

Bulma calmed down (somewhat) and was about to offer to fire her (she was looking for a good reason to get rid of Ainoko, but she was the best assistant she'd had in ten years and it would really be a shame to let her go) but Goten began to rouse. "Wha -- where am I?"

"Capsule Corp.," replied his father. Goku set Goten down onto the ground, where he stood shakily. "Do you want to explain to us why you were attacking Trunks?"

Goten blushed, recalling. "Not really."

Trunks waved his hands. "It's nothing, Goku. It was a misunderstanding, right Goten?"

"Er… right. I really am sorry, Trunks."

"S'okay. You just have to learn not to let your emotions control you. One day you're going to attack someone that's not just going to dodge."

Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest. "You two brats still don't know how to fight the correct way, after all this time. You're both pathetic." But he unearthed a Senzu bean and offered it to Goten anyway.

"Thanks, Vegeta."

"Go home."

Goku grabbed Goten's shoulder and put two fingers to his forehead. "It's time for lunch, anyway. Don't worry Bulma; we won't tell Chi-Chi what happened."

Bulma put her face in her hands. "I'm sure she'll see it on the six o'clock news, anyway. But thanks for the thought."

"Trunks… don't tell Videl, okay?" Goten's dark eyes reflected his concern.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Trunks promised, as Son father and son disappeared. He sighed. "When did everything get so complicated?"

"I'm proud of the way you handled yourself," Bulma told Trunks. "You were very mature."

"You should have kicked the shit out of him," muttered Vegeta, walking towards the main house. "I don't have time for this teenage melodrama. I'm going to train. Let me know when the demon child gets here; she needs to be weighed in."

"Is this melodrama?" Trunks wondered.

Bulma thought back to when she was younger; she could tell stories (but she wouldn't) of the real meaning of melodrama. Of the ruin that Capsule Corp. was almost left in after Bulma told Yamcha that she was pregnant with Vegeta's baby. "Your father thinks that breaking a nail is melodrama."

Trunks shook his head, staring off into space. "This isn't good. This isn't good at all."

"What isn't good?" Bulma asked curiously.

Trunks crossed his arms over his chest, talking in a matter-of-factly voice, sounding much older then his nine years of age. "That Goten has such strong and misguided feelings for Videl. He thinks that she's the perfect girl, and since he can't have her, he's probably going to spend the rest of his life looking for a girl who's just as pretty, strong, and cool as she is and, predictably, fail miserably. He's going to go through one failed relationship after another and end up thirty years old, with no job, living in his parent's house." Trunks shuddered. "Oh, God."

Bulma laughed at her son's theatrics. "Our sweet little Goten? A jobless skirt chaser? That's it. No more Dawson's Creek for you, young man."

Trunks made a face. "The storylines are getting stale, anyway. Um… Mom? Am I in a lot of trouble for destroying that building? 'Cuz I was only defending myself, you know."

Bulma surveyed the damage and sighed in resignation. "No. Just a little. And next year you're going to public school."

"Aw, Mom."

* * *

Videl stared across the table of Hell's Kitchen at her father, trying hard not to laugh at his pathetic attempts at ordering a decent meal at the health food restaurant.

"I'd like a triple bacon cheeseburger, with onions and mayo, a side order of fries and onion rings and… hm… I better cut down a little on the fat. A _small_ chocolate milk shake!"

The waitress looked down at the world champion oddly. "So, that'll be a triple vegetable burger, with soy bacon and a soy, wheat germ, protein smoothie? And for you?" 

Videl refrained from ordering a large chocolate cheesecake to further annoy the waitress, but just barely. "Do you serve any red meat?"

The waitress looked as though she wanted to cry. She ran a hand through her red hair, holding back a sob. "No, but how about a vegetable burger? Some soy steak? Maybe some tofurkey?"

Videl and Satan took one look at each other and burst out laughing. "How about it, Daddy? Maybe we should split some tofurkey?"

Satan wiped a tear from his cheek, choking back another fit of laughter. "Yes. Change my order to a tofurkey sandwich."

"That'll be served on bread made without bread right?" Videl asked the waitress as she and her father burst out into peals of laughter. "I guess I'll have that too. I'll have a glass of water too."

The waitress sighed wearily. "Would you like some spring water, carbonated water, Swiss water, French water, Satan spring water--"

"Satan spring water?" Both Satans looked at each other. "Daddy, did we always have our own spring?" the younger asked.

"I never signed off on the that. I'll have to talk to my agent," Satan looked thoughtful as the waitress ran off to get their order, not bothering to wait around for a reply. "I'm glad that you could meet me for lunch."

"Really?" Videl didn't bother to hide her surprise. "Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

Satan poked a strange green substance on the table with his fork. He nearly died when it jiggled. "No, it's just we've both been really busy and we don't get a chance to talk."

Videl raised a slim eyebrow. "Oooh-kay. Is there anything in particular you want to know about?"

"How's school going?" What WAS that green stuff? Jell-O maybe? But that was made with gelatin…

"Good," Videl absently poked at her own green substance, wondering if she should take it back to Capsule Corp. with her and let Vegeta be her guinea pig. "I just put in my applications for college."

Satan bravely sniffed at the jiggling green mass. "I'm sure you'll get in anywhere you apply."

"Because I'm the daughter of the man who saved the world from Cell?" Videl asked dryly, graduating from poking the mass to stabbing it savagely with her fork. 

Satan looked at her, his blue eyes drilling into hers. "No, because you're a smart and talented girl. Of course it doesn't hurt that you are related to me," Satan winked at her. He quickly turned serious. "So, how's your boyfriend? Golam or whatever his name is." Videl knew perfectly well that her father knew her boyfriend's name but purposely played it off that he didn't just to annoy her. 

"GOHAN is fine. I'm starting my job at Capsule Corp. today. I'll only be working a few hours a week because of training and school and stuff," Videl watched as the green stuff melted away the metal of her fork like acid. "I think Bulma said Mondays and Fridays from three to six. I'll have to work it out. I'll probably work more hours during the summer. I think I need another fork, Daddy."

Satan leaned back in his chair. "Training? With who? Son Goku? He's not such a bad guy," he said with a rare tone of admiration in his voice. 

"Err… not exactly," she said, staring at her useless utensil. "Bulma's husband is training me."

"Oh, the really short one?"

"Nope, that's Krillin. Excuse me," Videl called to the waitress. "Another fork, please? This green stuff seems to have fried it. What IS this stuff anyway?"

The waitress rushed over with a new fork. She smiled brightly. "It's completely organic!"

Satan frowned. "What, an organic piece of crap?" He brought his hand up, and accidentally flung some of it towards the table behind him. Ignoring the screams of pain and smells of burning flesh of the man behind him, he muttered to the bewildered waitress, "Can you please take this away from the table? The fumes are starting to make me nauseous." 

"Right away, Mr. Satan!" 

Videl's father folded his hands in his lap. "Then you mean the former baseball player with the scars across his face?"

"No, Daddy, that's Yamcha." Videl began to fidget. She was almost positive that her father would not be pleased if he knew that Vegeta was the one that was training her.

Satan looked thoughtful. "Is he that big green guy with the turban?"

"Piccolo. Ew, Daddy, could you picture Bulma marrying someone like him? Don't you read the papers? Vegeta is Bulma's husband, Daddy," Videl confessed. "Vegeta's training me."

"The little man that looks like he stuck his finger in an electrical socket and never learned how to smile?"

"Oh, OUCH. But yeah," Videl twiddled her fingers. "He's not so bad. He thinks I've got potential."

Videl was spared from Satan's answer as their food arrived at the table. The waitress set down two plates of what Videl could only describe as something that Buu had digested twice over and then jellied to give it texture. "Daddy," Videl whispered, as not to hurt the waitress's feelings. "My tofurkey just moved."

Satan poked the new wiggling mass with his fork and watched in horror as it was absorbed into the tofurkey. "I think we need one more fork," Videl watched as the tofurkey absorbed the other plate of tofurkey, plate and all. "DADDY! The tofurkey is a cannibal! Do something!"

"But... what if it eats me?"

They both watched in fascination as their lunch devoured the tablecloth. "McDonalds?" he offered, shying away from the radioactive, meat substitute.

Videl nodded as Satan threw a few bills on the table. "McDonalds." They stood up quickly, practically knocking over their chairs in the process. They ran as fast as they could out of the door, nearly falling down in laughter when the waitress called from two blocks away asking if they wanted dessert. "It was like Buu déjà vu," confessed Videl, holding a hand to her heart. She caught her breath as her father bought a couple of burgers and drinks. "I never want to be eaten AGAIN."

Satan took a deep breath. "Next year, that place is becoming an amusement park. My heart can't take this stress." He sat down on a bench in front of the fast food haunt and handed Videl a cheeseburger. "Ahh. Real meat. So, have you decided what college you want to go to?"

"I'm aiming for Tokyo University. I think if I study hard enough I can pass the entrance exams," Videl took a huge bite of her double cheeseburger. "I'd have to live on campus, but it's close enough that I could come home whenever I wanted to."

"And where does Goober want to go to college? I heard Clown College was looking for some new talent."

Videl rolled her eyes. "GOHAN can get in anywhere he wants, Daddy. He's the smartest kid in school. We haven't really talked about it much, but I'm sure he'll stay close to home, too." She snorted. "His mother wouldn't want her baby so far away." Videl stuffed the rest of her burger in her mouth. She nearly choked as she saw the look on her father's face. "What?"

"You've been eating a lot recently. And you've been kind of moody. Are you, you know… in trouble?"

"In trouble?"

Satan fidgeted with his burger. "You know. In the… er… family way? Because I wouldn't love you any less if you were, but I thought you'd be intelligent enough to use protection -- "

Videl spat out her tea, nearly choking on the piece of meat she was trying to wash down. She frantically wiped her mouth with a napkin. "NO! Daddy! Have you met Gohan? I don't even think he knows where babies come from." Videl unwrapped another burger. "I promised Vegeta I would gain some weight before we started any real training."

"Define 'real'."

"Oh you know, the usual. Blowing up planets, taking over civilizations, wrecking havoc on the world."

Satan's eyes widened comically.

"That was a joke, Daddy."

"Haha, haha. Yeah, I knew that. I was just testing you, that's all." _Ha. Thank GOD._

Videl rolled her eyes as she ate her third hamburger, hoping to gain twenty pounds in twenty minutes. "Right, Daddy. Sure you were."

"So I heard your school is having a showcase," said her father, eager to change the subject. "Are you going to participate?"

Videl scoffed, "Absolutely not. You know how I feel about being on stage."

* * *

"Oh, no, Lillia" protested Gohan, opening his third tuna sandwich. "You know how she feels about being on stage. There is no way I could convince her to star in your play. You'd have more luck trying to convince Sharpner to put on a dress and sing, 'On the Good Ship Lollypop' in homeroom."

Erasa fell over with laughter, and Marker spit out his soda all over Sharpner, whose face had turned an unholy shade of red at the thought of doing such a thing. "MARKER! Dude, GROSS," he exclaimed, wiping his face with a napkin. The five friends were sitting on the front law of Orange Star High School, eating lunch. Videl had declined politely when they had asked her to join, claming prior engagements. Gohan knew that it had something to do with her father, who had just returned from his book tour, but he didn't want to pry.

Lillia's eyes began to water. "But Gohan," she whined, flailing helplessly, "I wrote the part especially for Videl! Only she can exude the confidence, the uniqueness, the strength and beauty that is Phe Montigue!" Lillia put her hands on Gohan's shoulders and shook him hard. "It'll be a disaster without her! A complete disaster!"

While Gohan began to choke on the sandwich that was in his mouth, Marker leaned over and whispered to Erasa, "Don't you think she's taking this a bit seriously?"

Lillia apparently heard that, and abandoned Gohan (who started to chug a bottle of water to be able to breathe again) and turned to Marker. "Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I spent FOUR MONTHS of my life writing this script, and I won't have the production fail!"

"Lil… lia," Gohan tried, regaining his composure. He coughed a couple of times, and cleared his throat. "Lil, it was wrong to depend on Videl in the first place. She hasn't performed in front of an audience since she was a child. She would never agree to it."

Lillia fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. "The play is doomed, then! The Junior/Senior showcase will be a complete catastrophe!"

"Get a grip, Scarlet," said Sharpner, smiling broadly. "You have the rest of the Junior and Senior classes at your disposal. I'm sure there's a star waiting to be discovered."

"And I already volunteered my services," Erasa reminded her, picking at her salad. "Though I'm not that great of an actress, something of Jyou's had to have rubbed off on me."

Marker grinned. "And we know it's not the leather obsession."

Gohan scowled, still feeling the inane pangs of jealousy whenever one of Erasa's twin brothers was mentioned. He ripped open a Twinkie package with more force than necessary. "I'm sorry, Lil."

"YOU'LL be in my play, won't you Gohan?" Lillia lifted her head and grabbed Gohan's hands. "If Videl won't, you will. Won't you? WON'T YOU?"

"I…" he looked around for some help, but his friends were all looking the other way, whistling. _Traitors,_ he thought. "I guess…"

"Oh Gohan!" she clapped her hands together, sparkling. "I knew I could count on you! You're the best!"

Marker put a hand over his heart and pretending to be insulted. "And here you said I was the best when I told you I'd be in the play."

"Hey," Sharpner said, indignantly, "she told me I was the best!"

"I am obviously the better of the best, my man," Marker insisted, "because unlike you, I can actually sing."

"I can sing!"

"Hey, Gohan," Erasa whispered, "can YOU sing?"

He scratched his head and laughed nervously. "I don't know. I guess. If I had to."

"Please Gohan," begged Lillia, "you HAVE to convince Videl to try out for the play. She'll definitely do it, especially if YOU'RE going to be in it."

"I don't know…"

Lillia looked thoughtful. She leaned over and whispered in Gohan's ear, "You know, Gohan, I work in the College Office, and I thought it was very, very interesting that your name was on the short list of people applying to the University of Verona. Does Videl know about this?"

Gohan sat straight up, tensing. "What?"

"If you try to convince Videl to be in the showcase, your application status will stay between the two of us."

Marker, Erasa and Sharpner looked confused as Gohan closed his eyes and sighed. "What is she saying to him, do you think?" wondered Erasa.

"I don't know, but it looks like his resolve is breaking," commended Marker, whipping out his video camera. "I think I'll call this, 'Gohan's Futile Effort At Saying No To a Pretty Face, Part Three Hundred and Seven'. What do you guys think?"

Sharpner and Erasa nodded. "Sounds about right."

Gohan ignored his friends and hissed at Lillia, "That's blackmail, you know."

She gave him her most innocent and cute smile. "Do we have a deal?"

Gohan sighed again. "Give me a copy of the script."

"Yay!" exclaimed Lillia, hugging Gohan with all of her might. "I knew I could count on you!" She opened her backpack and unearthed a couple of copies of the script. She handed two copies of the script and two CDs to Gohan. "Look these over when you get a chance. Rehearsals start next week." She glanced at her watch. "Oh, look at the time. I have to head over to the drama department and work out the rehearsal schedule. See you guys later!"

As Lillia disappeared back into the school, Gohan put his head in his hands. "How do I get myself into these things?"

Still filming, Marker laughed. "You're too nice, Gohan. One of these days, you're going to have to learn how to say no."

"Say no to what, Gohan?" A familiar voice asked from behind Gohan.

"VIDEL!" Gohan nearly jumped out of his skin. "Say no to… drugs! That's right, drugs are bad, very, very, bad. Don't give in to peer pressure, Videl. Okay?"

"Um, okay," Videl crossed her arms over her chest. "If you… say so." Gohan started to panic as he saw the receding figures of his so-called "friends". 

"So," Gohan twiddled his fingers. "How was lunch?"

Videl laughed. "It was certainly interesting. I almost got eaten by some radioactive faux lunchmeat and my father thinks I'm pregnant with some guy from Lord of the Ring's love child."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask," Videl started to laugh again, but stopped when she saw the nervous look on his face. "What's the matter? Gohan, I'm not really pregnant with his love child."

"Nothing and I _know_ that," Gohan tried to relax. "So, have you decided what you're going to do for the Junior/Senior Showcase?"

Videl shrugged. "Probably behind the scenes stuff. Make sure Lillia doesn't have a heart attack and all that. You know how I feel about being on stage, Gohan."

"Well, it might not be so bad. You could kind of use it as a learning experience. You know, learning to get over your fears and--"

"Nice try, Gohan. I know Lillia put you up to this. She's been hinting at it for months," Videl turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye. "You know what my answer is and you're not going to change my mind. So please, tell the others to not even bother asking me." Shaking her head, she laughed again. "Speaking of getting over fears, you'll never believe what happened during lunch today. Health food almost killed me!" Videl took Gohan's hand as they walked back to class.

"Almost killed you?"

"Well it all started when my father learned the wonders of tofurkey…"

* * *

A small figure tied a black handkerchief over her face as she hopped over the small white picket fence of Capsule Corp. She stealthily made her way over to the backside of the large capsule home. She quickly decided her destination was the first floor, so there wasn't much climbing involved. She pulled out a small tool kit and went to work. She carefully unscrewed the screws and bolts supporting the window frame, taking extra care not to make a sound as she took it off the hinges and stepped into the hallway of Capsule Corp. She quickly put the screws back in and looked behind her shoulder to make sure no one had seen her breaking and entering. _Desperate times call for desperate measures, _she thought. Feeling a little lost in the huge house, the mysterious figure crept around the hallway, peeking into every room. "ARGH! This house is a FREAKING MAZE!" she shrieked in frustration, then quickly put her hands over her mouth. "Oh hell," she whispered as she heard familiar voices.

"Did you hear something, Trunks?" Dr. Briefs asked, scanning the vicinity. The figure quickly scrambled behind a tall statue of Bulma Briefs, silently thanking the genius for being so vain. She quickly calmed herself, trying her best to mask her _ki_, as not to draw attention to her hiding spot. "I thought I heard someone."

Trunks rolled his eyes and grabbed his grandfather, pulling him into his room. "It's just your imagination. I'd know in a second if someone were here. Come on, I have this really cool new game I want to try out!" Dr. Briefs followed his favorite (and only) grandson reluctantly, throwing one last look at the statue. He could have sworn… oh well. It was probably just his eyes playing tricks on him.

After a few minutes, the figure stepped out from behind the statue. She put a hand over her throbbing chest. "This is bad for my health," she tiptoed past Trunks' room, remembering how her destination was the room at the end of the same hallway. She quickly tiptoed to the end of hallway, pressing various buttons on the front of the door to the gravity room. She turned the handle and stepped in before anyone else could see her. The figure pulled off her mask, accidentally pressing the button to activate the gravity machine. "Identity confirmed. Now fifty times normal earth gravity," the machine happily informed Videl.

"Oh fu--" was all Videl could get out as she crashed to the floor, not used to the high gravity. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that fifth cheeseburger," she groaned, feeling heavy pressure on her whole body. Her lungs felt like they were about to burst. She peeled herself off the floor and crawled her way to the large machine. "Where's the exit button? C for cancel, D for disengage, ANYTHING!" Videl smacked the large red button on the top of the console with all of her might. 

"Returning to normal earth gravity."

Videl sighed with relief. "Aha," Videl spotted her destination, rubbing her hands together maniacally. Bulma's high-tech talking scale, completely unguarded. It was almost _asking_ to be tampered with. "I'll just make it so it looks like I've gained a few pounds to make Vegeta happy, when in actuality I lost two," Videl pulled out her screwdriver and went to work.

"Good afternoon, Miss Satan," the scale's voice was mechanical and monotone. "You are not scheduled to be weighed in for another seventeen minutes."

Videl unscrewed the back of the scale and scared at the wiring. She recognized the wiring that controlled the digital display and began to fiddle with it. "I like being early."

"You really shouldn't be doing that, Miss Satan."

"I won't tell if you won't," Videl wondered if there was a mute button. The scale could really get annoying. And if it got any louder, someone would realize what she was doing.

"Prince Vegeta places his trust in you and you are taking advantage of it."

"I can't believe a scale is trying to make me feel guilty," Videl quickly finished and put the scale back in it's proper place. "There. No one will ever have to know. And if you tell 'Prince' Vegeta what I did, I'll turn you into something useful, like a microwave."

Suddenly, the door to the gravity room slid open behind her. "How did you get in here? I never saw you come in," Vegeta narrowed his dark eyes at Videl, who had jumped up and started stretching. "Why do you have a screwdriver in your hand? And what the hell happened to your face?"

Videl laughed a bit hysterically, but quickly clamed down. "I… I wanted to surprise you by showing you my skills of… guerilla warfare! And this," Videl threw the screwdriver over her shoulder. It bounced against one of the walls. "You heard about my job with Bulma so I brought this to… help. And um, I had a tofurkey related accident, it's not a big deal."

"Right," Vegeta had absolutely no idea what she was blathering on about and in all honesty, he didn't care. "I think I will step onto the scale first, just to make sure it's accurate."

_Damn you, Vegeta. Damn you!_

Vegeta stepped on, his face showing no signs of shock as he gazed down at the numbers and the scale announced his weight. "Hello, Prince Vegeta. Your current weight is… five hundred and ten pounds. A… three hundred pound weight gain from… seven days ago."

_Oh no! I meant to make it three pounds heavier, not THREE HUNDRED!_

Videl tried to play it cool. "Oh my goodness Vegeta, maybe you shouldn't have had that twelfth helping of cheesecake last night after dinner. It's ruining your perfect figure," Videl rambled, as she nodded vigorously. "I've noticed a weight gain but I didn't want to insult you."

"How considerate of you," Vegeta said dryly. "Get on."

Videl closed her eyes and stepped on the scale, half expecting it to cackle evilly at her. "It seems you have succeeded in gaining weight," Vegeta's left eyebrow twitched. She opened her eyes and gazed down apprehensively, not liking the tone of Vegeta's rather strained voice. "Four hundred and seven pounds," Vegeta offered. "Unless you expect me to believe that you've had three gallons of pure liquefied fat with every meal, I would wager someone has tampered with the scale."

Videl laughed nervously. "Hehe, what can I say? I'm a perfectionist." Videl thought fast as Trunks walked past the gravity room, silently apologizing to him and promising to take him to whatever amusement park he wanted. "It was all Trunks' fault!"

Trunks peered into the gravity room through the half open door. "How did you find out about that?" Trunks panicked. "I didn't start the fight, Goten did!"

"What fight?"

"What are you talking about?" Trunks asked suspiciously.

"What are _you_ talking about?"

"What are **_you_** talking about?"

"I asked you first!" 

"No you didn't!"

"I'm talking about how you broke the scale. Now, what fight?" Videl demanded.

Trunks laughed and bounded away. "Uh, right. I broke the scale. Sorry!"

Videl turned to Vegeta, who looked less then amused. "You know," Videl started. "It's hard to remember what I _might_ have done to the scale. All the excitement of being under your tutelage has made my memory a bit fuzzy." 

"Should I take that as a confession?"

Videl dropped her head. "Yes, Vegeta." A pause, and then, "What fight?"

"I don't suggest you worry about such trivialities, as you are aware that fights are common occurrences around here." Vegeta took a long look at Videl. "You look like you've lost weight."

Videl nodded sheepishly. "Two pounds. I'm sorry I--"

Vegeta turned towards the door. "You don't seem to understand, child. We cannot engage in any proper training if you are not physically fit for such. Do not return until you are." And with that, he left.

Videl soon followed, making her way from the main house to the main office building. She trudged her way to the Capsule Corp. conference room, her head down and a heavy feeling in her heart. _I could have sworn Vegeta was disappointed in me. Alright Satan, get with the program. Worry about this later. Right now we have a Board meeting with Bulma and maybe if we're lucky, they'll have some nice, greasy fatty foods we can gorge on. _Videl hurried to the large room, bracing herself before opening the door and seeing her colleagues for the first time. She quickly sat down in an empty seat, next to a friendly light haired middle-aged man with a pair of glasses. "Oh no, I'm not too late am I?" 

"Nah, but you're going to wish you were," he revealed. "These meetings are so boring, I wish there was a chemical spill or Dr. Briefs' husband would blow up a building just to make things interesting."

Luckily, Videl's response was interrupted by Bulma's commanding voice. "And today, I am very happy to welcome Satan Videl to our company. I'm sure she will make a fine addition to Capsule Corp. with her extensive knowledge of capsules…"

_Well, I know how to press the little button on top to make it open, _Videl thought as the members of the board turned to face her with small smiles.

"And I know everyone will treat her with the respect she deserves. Meeting adjourned," Bulma closed her folder. 

"That was short and sweet," Videl watched the rest of the members walk out. A small blonde haired woman with glasses stayed at Bulma's side. "Hello, it's nice to meet you," Videl bowed slightly to the woman.

"A pleasure," Ainoko nodded her head. "Sato Ainoko."

"I'll leave you alone to get acquainted," Bulma said. "I need to take care of a few things down in the lab with Daddy. Ainoko, would you show Videl around? I know you've seen most things, Videl, but it couldn't hurt."

Ainoko nodded, and Bulma disappeared down a corridor. Videl lingered behind with Ainoko with her hands behind her back, wondering just how she was going to gain twenty pounds in four weeks.

"You're so lucky to be working here," Ainoko revealed as they started to walk down the hall. "Mr. Briefs' is one hot piece of ass!"

Videl blanched. "Mr. Briefs? TRUNKS? Look lady, I'm not sure what you're into and I really don't want to know but Trunks is only ten--"

"No! His father," Ainoko sighed dreamily. "When he comes in after training, with no shirt and only those tiny… tight… spandex… Uh, what was I talking about again?"

Videl groaned. "EEW! Uh. Mr. Briefs? Briefs is Vegeta's last name? I thought his last name _was_ Vegeta! And I thought his first name was like… Prince or something."

"Prince?" Ainoko woke up from her Vegeta filled day dream. "Vegeta? How are you on such informal terms with him?"

"Uh… he uh, knows my father," Videl said nervously, not wanting to continue this discussion with this obsessed psycho.

Ainoko swooned. "He knows your father?" She purred.

_Double EEW. Vegeta and Daddy? Is this woman on drugs? Okay, I can't tell her how Vegeta and Daddy _really _know each other, so it's time to come up with a great lie. _"Yeah, they… er… golf together." _That was SO lame._

Ainoko narrowed her green eyes at Videl. "So, you've spoken to Mr. Briefs before? He _LETS_ you call him Vegeta?" Her voice was low and threatening.

"Uh… Oh my goodness! Look at the time! It was SO nice meeting you and I so look forward to working alongside you," Videl quickly took off. "BYE!" She hid behind another Bulma statue, waiting for Ainoko to exit. "What a _WEIRDO_."

* * *

"You'll never guess," Videl passed a dish to Gohan as she pulled out bottled water from Bulma's refrigerator, "what kind of assistant Bulma has. She is totally and insanely obsessed with Vegeta!"

Gohan's eyes widened to the size of the plates. "Vegeta has a fangirl? How did THAT happen?"

"I think it went something like this," Videl ran her fingers through her hair, puffing it up three times its size. She picked up as pair of glasses that were sitting on the table. "Oh Mr. Briefs, I'm so glad that you would meet me secretly in the middle of your kitchen where anyone can find us," Videl mimicked Ainoko's squeaky voice.

"You're kidding," said Gohan. 

Videl sat down at the table. "Uch, afraid _not_. I think I'm scarred for life." She plucked off the glasses and smoothed out her hair. "I think she's jealous of me for spending time with him."

Gohan laughed. "Speaking of training, how did it go?"

Videl frowned. "I haven't gained any weight, so I think Vegeta is mad at me." She tossed the bottle of water from one hand to another. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

"With your hectic schedule, I don't know how you even have time to eat," said Gohan, picking at the chocolate cake. "Now that you're working here two days a week, and training, and rehearsing for the play --"

"Gohan," Videl's voice was threatening. "You know I won't need to be at all of the rehearsals if I'm just working behind the scenes."

Gohan pointed a finger at her. "It's mandatory for every student to be at every rehearsal. Besides, I heard a rumor that Lillia is shopping for an assistant director."

Videl banged her head against the table. "I hate plays."

"But that impression you just did, it was completely hilarious," Gohan insisted through bites, "you must be impressive on stage."

"Not really."

"Sure."

"What I want to know is how she convinced you to be in this play," Videl narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. "Since when are you into stuff like that?"

Gohan laughed nervously, running his hand through his hair. "Videl, do you _know_ Lillia? She can be very, very convincing."

"True. So, tell me about this play. Maybe I will help direct."

"God knows how much you like to boss people around," Gohan cracked. "Eep! Videl! That's cold!"

Videl stood, smiling triumphantly, with her bottle of water turned over Gohan's head.

---

"Identification complete," the mechanical voice said. "Dr. Bulma Briefs. Good evening, Bulma. Your weight today is… four hundred and thirty-three pounds."

The only noise that could be heard for the next two minutes was Bulma's piercing, glass shattering scream.

---

**-Next Time on Misadventures-:** Chapter 14: Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in Formal Dinners

After working at CC for a month, Videl has earned the respect from her fellow co-workers (except for a certain Vegeta-obsessed assistant) when she and Bulma build Capsule Corp.'s newest high-tech gadget. Dr. Briefs holds a banquet in their honor, but Videl is forced to make a speech in front of everyone. Can she get over her fear of public speaking in time for the dinner? Also, Gohan's got his hands full trying to convince Videl to be in Lillia's play, as auditions begin without her. Will the play be doomed with Erasa in the lead?


	15. Misadventures in Formal Dinners

**-About Misadventures-:**  The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z.   However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a horrible job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things.  But anyway).   Common housewife, humph.  We don't think so. From there, Misadventures has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done this and that with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist.  But you already knew that. 

**-About This Chapter-:**   Redundant apology.  However, there IS some serious Videl/Gohan action in this chapter, so it should be worth the wait.  Of course, it's PG-13 action.   Of course.  AND the thing is 41 pages long.  It just… spiraled out of control.  From now on, we're going to try to make more frequent updates  (XD) but the trade-off is that the chapters will be shorter.

**-Mailing List-:**  If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject:  Mailing List.  Or you can go to our website and sign up there.  Your name will be added to our ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

**-Disclaimer-:  **Do I look like Akira Toriyama?  None of the songs used in the play are ours, either, though the libretto was written by us.  The lyrics towards the end of the chapter are from Disease, by Matchbox Twenty.

**-Notes-:**  Some people wonder about the "Waves and Rocks" thing we do at the beginning of each chapter.  It's somewhat of a private joke between the authors, and it comes from the Dragonball Z Episode from the Tournament Saga, _Welcome to the Tournament,_ in which the World Tournament people screen the "lost scenes" from the Cell Games when all of the cameras were broken.  This, in our opinion, is one of the funniest scenes in the entire anime, with people wearing Z-fighter masks, bad acting, horrible sound effects, and, in effect, FUNimation was making fun of itself.  And, at the beginning of the video, an announcer sings, "Waves and rocks," and then says, "Brought to you by Waves and Rocks", parodying the company that actually produces Dragonball Z.  For days and days, all we would do is make fun of that announcer guy, singing every minute, "Waves and rocks," in that corny voice.  And so when we decided to do this fic, we decided that it should be brought to you by Waves and Rocks.  
          **Vegeta:**    That is completely asinine.  
          **Ilana:**  *imitates perfectly* I wish I were _him_.  
          **Vegeta:  ***glares*

**Ilana's Pet Project-:**  For some strange reason, FF.N will NOT let me show you guys a link to our webpage.  This makes me a very, very angry bunny.   So, check out CCS Angel's profile and follow her homepage link.  There, under the Showcase option, you will also find a copy of the script for the showcase, which should help you follow along in this chapter.  GRRR.  I am not a happy bunny.

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
By** CCS Angel00 and Absolut Angel  
**Edited By** Eve-chaaaaaaaaama  
**Brought to you by:  ***sings offkey*Waves and Rocks  
  


--------------------  
**Chapter 14: **Videl's Misadventures in Formal Dinners  
--------------------  
  


"Goooooood morning, Orange Star!"

Videl barely registered Marker's voice from the VidScreen as she cradled her head in her arms on her desk.  She was completely and utterly exhausted from three and a half weeks of frantic training, working at Capsule Corporation with Bulma and the insane assistant from hell, while dealing with Lillia, who had somehow convinced her to take the assistant director position for the stupid Junior/Senior Showcase.  She barely had time to breathe, let alone sleep.

Marker's bright smile greeted the student body.  "It's a wonderful spring morning in Satan City, isn't it?  There's nothing like waking up to a shining sun, green grass and the smell of sweet cherry blossoms blowing in the wind."

From off camera, Principle Naoko sighed.  "Get on with it, Marker."

Gohan looked at Videl with concern.  Lately she'd been wildly busy, trying to juggle a million things at once.  He knew she wasn't sleeping well, and she was training like… well… in a very Vegeta-like fashion.  She ran every morning, lifted weights twice a day, and when she wasn't at Capsule Corp. or at school with Lillia, she was sparring with anyone that was willing, hoping to prove to Vegeta that she really COULD do this.  She WOULD do this.  

Gohan reached over and rubbed one of her shoulders.  "You alright there, Videl?"

"Mmhm," was the response from her general direction, the words muffled by her sleeve.  "Tired."

"You too?" Sharpner asked Lillia, who looked like she was about to fall asleep sitting up.   Her eyes were closed and her head was lowering dangerously towards the desk, until she realized she'd drifted, and would pick her head up, only to have it droop once again.

"We finalized the script last night," she said, her voice blurred by fatigue.  "Or should I say, this morning.  At five, to be exact." 

"It's eight twenty-eight am," Marker continued, reading from a sheet of paper.  "And it's the twenty-second of March, the first day scheduled for auditions for the Junior/Senior Showcase, directed by Lillia and Videl!  As most of you know, all seniors are required to work on the production, whether it be as part of the cast or behind the scenes.  We're hoping to see all of your smiling faces there, though if you have your heart set on the part of Claude Montague, I'm afraid you're out of luck."  He winked at the camera.  "No one stands a chance against me, after all."

Sharpner snorted.  "A little full of himself, isn't he?"

Gohan glanced at the blond sideways.  "A little like looking in a mirror, isn't it?"

"I'm wounded, Son."

"The revised play is called, "For the Love of the Game" and writing credits go to both Lillia and Satan Videl, who I'm told stayed up until the wee hours of each morning in order to have it ready for distribution," said Marker, leaning back in his chair.  "If you haven't done so already, you can pick up a copy of the really awesome script between periods one and six at the box office on the second floor, where you can also sign up for auditions.  Said auditions will begin promptly at one o'clock, at the conclusion of seventh period, in the A. Toriyama Auditorium -- the one by the East gym, for those of you that don't know we have an auditorium, and shame on you, we actually have two -- so don't be late!  Remember seniors, we know who you are!  If you haven't picked up a script, we'll send Son Gohan after you!"

Gohan groaned.  "Oy."

"You said it," mumbled Videl.

"Last minute college applications are due into the college office TOMORROW!" exclaimed Marker.  "So get off your lazy behinds and get going!  Summer internship information is available at the college office, with positions being offered almost everywhere across Satan City and beyond, including the world famous Capsule Corp., ZZTV and various Satan City radio stations.  Add to your resumes, have fun, and get paid!

"Also, the Prom and Yearbook committees have been selected after careful review of applications by the Student Council.  Names have been posted on the main bulletin board outside of the Student Affairs office, so be sure to check those out."

"Didn't you want to work on Yearbook, Gohan?" Videl asked, finally stirring.

"I already signed up," Gohan replied. "It should be fun."

Videl nodded, leaning on her right hand. "Right, and you can make sure I don't end up in any of those stupid polls or pictures or get misquoted."

"On a final note, the new health food restaurant, Hell's Kitchen, was voted the number one teen hangout in all of Satan City. Go and check it out. I highly recommend the tofurkey on carbohydrate-free bread. Yum, healthy and delicious! Everyone make sure to have a good day and better day tomorrow. Godspeed, this is Marker signing out. Live long and prosper."

Gohan raised an eyebrow.  "Wasn't that the lethal tofurkey that almost killed you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It was very traumatizing." 

Before anyone could inquire about the tofurkey, Videl's wristwatch/walkie-talkie beeped for the first time in what seemed like forever. Videl could understand; crime had been sparse since Vegeta used Namek's Dragonballs to wish back the population of Earth, minus the truly evil ones, after Majin Buu destroyed the planet.  Videl was grateful for it (wherever would she find the time to fight criminals?), but she fiercely regretted that she wasn't alive to see Vegeta's face when his halo disappeared.  Goku reported that it was very amusing.

"Videl here."

"There's a robbery at the Satan City bakery, Main and Seventh. The Great Saiyaman would be a great help!" the police chief shouted. "Come right away! There are guys in cat outfits with big guns!"

"Guys in cat outfits robbing a bakery? Jeez. Can't these guys do anything? I guess they don't want to risk their donuts and coffee," Videl complained, dragging herself out of her seat.  "I guess they're not truly evil; just a little evil.  Man.  Criminals."

Gohan jumped up in his seat. "Excuse me, can I use the restroom please?"

Sharpner rolled his eyes at his friend. "You don't have to pretend anymore, you idiot."

Videl pulled Gohan out of the class when the small teacher sighed and consented.  The duo ran to the roof where Gohan changed into his green spandex outfit. As they flew to the crime scene, Videl turned sideways to glance at the Great Saiyaman. "Gohan, must you wear that ridiculous outfit?"

"I think it's cool," Gohan said in a hurt voice. "And I'm sure plenty of girls think it's cool as well."

Videl snorted. "Yeah, the blind girls." She then playfully extended the antennae on his helmet. "I wonder if I can get a good station up here. What do you think?"

"Hmph."

Meanwhile, a short man wearing a black cat suit ran out of the bakery, his arms full of bagels and cookies. He hadn't even bothered to use his gun. Everyone was too surprised at seeing a cat robbing a store to actually take any action. Another tall and skinny man dressed like a white cat loaded the goodies onto the truck, and they were preparing for an escape just as Gohan and Videl landed in front of them.

"You won't get away with this," Gohan said in his deep Saiyaman voice, really getting into his act. "I am the defender of justice! The righter of wrongs, the do-gooder in a world of evil-doers! I am the shadow of the night!"

"Actually, that's Batman," Videl injected helpfully.

"Thank you, Miss Videl. As I was saying, with my breath of justice, I shall blow you away!" Gohan started doing a dance that looked similar to the Macarena and other popular dances.

"Sorry to break this to you, but that's Wedding Peach. Copyright infringement is against the law, if you didn't know."  Videl smacked herself as she watched him made an ass of himself.  "Someone please stop him. I think he's doing the cabbage patch."

Gohan halted mid-electric slide and stomped his foot, glaring at his girlfriend. "Do you know how hard it is to come up with your own moves and catchphrases? I'd like to see YOU try it sometime."

Videl decided that she had quite enough of the theatrics and threw off her Orange Star High School jacket, facing the kitty criminals.   The jacket flew through the air at a blinding speed and there was a 'wumph' sound as the Great Saiyaman caught it, almost knocking the wind out of him.  He stared down at the jacket in awe; it was evident that the training Videl was doing was paying off.

She was currently cracking her knuckles loudly.  "I'm going to kick your ass now," she told the feline felons. "Let's rumble."

But the two criminals were eerily silent as they continued to stare at her with their mouths wide open.  "Excuse me," she said, waving her hand in front of their faces, "but I said, let's get ready to rumble!  HELLO?"  She waved frantically, but it was to no avail.  She blinked in confusion, and then self-consciously blushed when she realized what they were staring at.  She crossed her arms over her chest where her usual baggy white tee-shirt was tightly stretched over the words "Girl Power."  Her current addition of weight (and muscle) had caused her shirt to rise to rise over once-loose light blue jeans that were now snug against her hips and accentuated the contours of her thin waist. 

"Aren't ya gonna handcuff us?" the black one asked, leering perversely.

The other pushed the first out of the way, giving him a dirty look. "Me first!"

"No me!"

"Me! I was bad and I'm so very sorry!"

"No way man, I'm WAY sorrier!"

As they continued to push and shove each other out of the way, Videl took advantage of their stupidity and jumped between them, quickly handcuffing them to each other.  Her hands moved so quickly they were like a blur to the crowd of Satan City patrons that had wandered by to observe the fight.  She was about to turn to Gohan to thank him for all of his assistance in her patented sarcastic tone, but the blue and white police cars, complete with blaring sirens, chose that moment to pull up to the scene.  The SCPD filed out of the cars, guns at the ready.

"I've apprehended the perpetrators already," _you ineffectual nitwits_, Videl added silently.   She wondered if she needed to go to the head of the police academy about requirements for graduation.  She pushed the two felons towards the closet police officer, who was, like the robbers, staring at her in appreciation.

"Hey baby, looking great!"

"Whoa there," called another officer.  "Do my eyes deceive me? I think we better call God, 'cuz an angel is missing from heaven!"

Videl glared at the middle-aged officers, most of which were married.  She put her hands on her hips and glanced sideways at the cop that had just addressed her.  "Congratulations on your wife's new baby, Pete," she said.  "And, if you'd like to be physically able to conceive another, I suggest you go away.  NOW."

Most of the other officers laughed nervously, grabbing the criminals and climbing back into their cars, driving away as quickly as they arrived.  Pete was blushing and stuttering apologies as he climbed into his own car and retreated.  "Of all the nerve," she sputtered indignantly.  No one since Jyou had EVER been so forward, openly ogling her and begging for incarceration, impotency or incineration.   

Videl turned to Gohan as the crowds began to disperse. "What just happened, Great Saiyaman? Hello? HE-LLO? Anyone home?" Videl waved her hand in front of his helmet. "Gohan?" she ventured at a lower volume, though by now everyone in Satan City was aware of the identity of the Great Green Wonder.

His mouth hung wide open, very much similar to the time she'd beaten up that massive man from the Red Shark Gang, and it appeared that he wasn't paying very much attention to her.  Well, to her face, that is.

"Ét tu, Gohan?" she said, pained.  "Hello, dear.  My face is up here."

He jerked his gaze up from where it had been lingered and winced when he saw the fierce annoyance in his girlfriend's stormy sapphire eyes.  He put his hand behind his head and laughed nervously.  "What was that, Videl?  I didn't quite catch that."

"Apparently," she muttered, closing her eyes and sighing in resignation.  She hadn't counted on these secondary effects of putting on weight, though she should have remembered that her mother had a very nice hourglass figure when she allowed herself to put on a few pounds.  _As if_, she thought, _I didn't have enough to worry about.  Now I have to go shopping_.  _And I _hate _shopping._  "Come on, Wonderboy," she addressed Gohan, pulling him by the arm.  "It's time to face the masses."

He nodded.  A couple of times.  "Right. Of course.  School."  It seemed he was having a hard time keeping his gaze to her face, and articulating in full sentences.  He suddenly remembered her jacket, which he held in her hands, and thrust towards her.  "Jacket."

"Quite so," she said dryly, and slung it over her shoulders.  She let go of his hand and took to the air, hovering above Gohan for a couple of minutes before she realized that he wasn't following.  She looked down at him.  "Now what?  We're going to be late for auditions! Gohan.  GOHAN!"

"Hm?"

"ARE YOU STARING AT MY ASS?!"

***

"Videl," Lillia whispered to her friend, "there are a lot of people here."

From her position, sitting with her legs hanging over the stage of the A. Toriyama Auditorium, she tried to refrain from rolling her eyes.  She had, with effort, kept behind Gohan the entire way back to school, who, she thought, didn't know quite what to do with himself after his little hormonal display this morning.  He'd avoided her splendidly until auditions, and she thought that he managed to compose himself by then.  "The entire senior class is required to be here," she replied, flipping through the sign-up sheets.  "Most people want to work backstage.  Assigning those positions won't be hard; we'll just let those people form committees and do whatever they want."

Lillia nodded, her gaze wandering over to where Marker, Sharpner and Gohan were good-naturedly tossing one of the props (a football) at one end of the auditorium.  "It figures Sharpner would be interested in Gaston's role," she said as said teenager pounced on Marker and gave him a noogie.  "Though I'm surprised Marker wants to be on stage and not up in the lighting booth with the cameras."

Videl laughed. "Actually, when we were younger, Marker was the most interested in acting and music.  This directing thing is new.  You know actors," she joked, "what they really want to do is direct."

Lillia giggled.

"Anyway, he has a reason to brag about his voice. It's amazing. Let's get this over with and try to avoid bloodshed, shall we?"

The two girls jumped up onto the stage and waved frantically to get the attention of the students.  When they were duly ignored, Videl put two fingers to her mouth and let forth a furious whistle.  There was an eerie silence as everyone in the room froze, except for the sound of the football hitting Gohan's chest and falling to the ground.  He laughed good-naturedly.

"If everyone would please sit down," Lillia said, as students that had been standing made their ways to seats.  "Thank you.  First of all, I would like to thank everyone for showing up, especially those of you from my own Junior class, since you are not required to be here.  If you signed up to work backstage, please check the lists at the back of the auditorium to find out which rehearsals you are required to attend and who else you will be working with.  If you are here to audition for a role, you are required to attend every rehearsal."  There was a groan, but Lillia smiled.  "It'll be worth it, I promise."

"We're also going to try to set up a message board and mailing list, so make sure you give us your e-mail addresses and check both frequently," Videl added, absently rolling her script in her hands.  "We've already made a ton of changes, and we'll probably make more changes as the production proceeds."

"We're going to -- TRY -- to set up a website," Lillia emphasized the word. "We're in the middle of convincing Bulma Briefs into doing it and putting it up her server."

"It'll have all the information -- committees, roles, rehearsal dates, lyrics, scripts, et cetera -- that you'll ever need," said Videl.  "I hope you've all had a chance to read through the script and familiarize yourself with the music?"  Most of those that were auditioning for roles nodded, though the backstage groups looked slightly confused.  Videl shook her head; tentative scripts had been available for nearly three weeks.  How lazy could people get?  

Lillia sighed.  "'For the Love of the Game' is a musical comedy that takes place in a high school, rather like this one," she explained.  "Phe Montague is the female lead, somewhat of an outcast but a talented writer for the school paper.  Her father, the football coach at said school, has been praying for a championship for years, but has been repeatedly denied by another team, called the Huns.  He's been very agitated during this time period, and so he's become a bit strange, insisting that his daughters -- his other daughter is Kat Montague, who also has a significant role -- cannot date anyone until the championship banner is raised over the school.  The rest of the school, and most of the football team, including Lance Gaston, the male antagonist who is enamored by Kat, is appalled by the rule, and everyone, including the coach, is delighted when Ben Ceres, the male lead, moves back to town after a moderate stint in another city.  He is a formidable football player, who in fact had been playing for the Huns before his relocation, and looks forward to meeting all of his old friends -- especially Phe Montague -- and helping Claude Montague win his championship."  Lillia clapped her hands together.  "It's a modernization of many different Shakespearean works -- hence the names -- mixed with contemporary ideas and popular Broadway music.  Are there any questions?"

A junior that Lillia recognized from one of her classes raised his hand.  "Er -- how often are rehearsals, exactly?"

"Probably two or three days per week," answered Videl, fanning herself with the script.  It was becoming quite warm in the auditorium, but she'd be damned if she took her jacket off again.  "We will expect you to be rehearsing on your own, as well.  And the chorus and band will be holding separate rehearsals, so be sure to check with the faculty in charge if you're in one of those."

"When is the Showcase?" asked a senior from the vicinity of where Gohan and the others were sitting.

Videl frowed.  "I believe that it's going to be held on the night of June fourteenth, but things around here get so hectic come graduation time, there may be changes.  We'll be sure to let you know.  Now, if there aren't anymore questions, let's rock and roll!"

Lillia grinned.  "It's nice to see you getting into the spirit, Vi!"

"Whatever you say, Lillia," she replied, rolling her eyes.  "First up are auditions for Lance Gaston and Phe Montague.  Please make your way to the left side of the auditorium and form a line by the side of the stage.  Oy, Sharpner.  The OTHER left side."

Twenty excruciating minutes, thirteen nearly talentless goons and a dozen infuriating teenyboppers later, Videl was nursing a migraine and wincing every time a student stepped on stage.  The singing was only a bit sub-par -- easily remedied with a bit of practice and maybe a small miracle -- but the acting was atrocious, reminiscent of the infamous "Cell Games" video.  She jotted down a bunch of names of students she thought could cut it as the chorus members -- cheerleaders or football players.

Videl addressed the student currently auditioning for Gaston.  "Page thirteen, four lines down.  Just read that line.  That ONE line."  She massaged her temples.  

He was a smallish boy, clearly unfit for the role of them macho, arrogant antagonist, but, Videl admitted, he had guts for trying nonetheless.  He cleared his throat nervously.  "Let me buy you a DRINK, sweetheart."  He said in a raspy voice.  Videl cringed at the mere sound of it.  "Wait, I can do it better.  "Let me BUY you a drink, sweetheart.  LET me buy you a drink, sweetheart."

Videl tossed Lillia a look of utter despair.  Lillia sighed.  "Okay, thank you.  We'll let you know."

"Don't you want me to sing?"

"NO!"  Lillia and Videl both shouted.  The boy looked disappointed, but also a bit relieved.  That left only one person left to try out for the part.

"Sharpner," Videl said in a tired sort of voice.  "You're our last hope, dear."

"Saving the best of last, eh?" the blond asked, making his way onto the stage.

"Just start from page twenty-two.  Erasa, you're up for Phe," said Lillia.  

Erasa joined Sharpner on the stage, looking a bit uneasy.  She flipped to the desired page of the script and began reading.  "What do you want blockhead?" Erasa asked, putting her hands on her hips. Videl nearly choked at hearing Erasa acting "tough". She wished she could put this on video to send to Jyou, who would love the thought of his innocent little sister as a thug.  Videl just couldn't see Erasa as Phe; Erasa was too sweet and never spoke that way to anyone, EVER.

Sharpener smirked, putting his arm around Erasa. "Only a date would suffice."

Erasa stuck her tongue out at him, though it wasn't in the script.  She thought it added to the dramatics. "You're dating my sister!"

Videl swallowed her laughter and raised her hand to stop the scene and get the blonds' attention. "Erasa? Could you maybe… try to glare at Sharpener? He's the biggest slimeball on the planet, trying to date both you and you sister.  The emotion here is anger.  Imagine Jyou just stole your favorite leather jacket. Could you try that for me, please?"

"Okay Vi!" Erasa stared long and hard at Sharpener. She then mustered up the best glare she could come up with. Unfortunately, it came out looking like a cross between a pout and someone who was about to lose their lunch.

Videl looked at Lillia who just shrugged. "Erasa, haven't you ever glared at anyone before?"

"Well, no. That's what you're for, Videl!"

Videl ran her fingers through her hair. "Sharpner, could you just sing the Gaston reprise for me please? Marker, get up here.  You have a decent voice; sing the part of the freshman."

If possible, Sharpner looked cockier then ever as the pianist began the opening notes to the song from _Beauty and the Beast_. "Freshman, I'm afraid I've been thinking," he sang, surprising the hell out of everyone in the audience, including Gohan, Marker and the two directors.  From the look on his face, he may even have surprised himself.  Lillia stared at him with wide eyes, while Videl wondered just how he'd gotten so good since he played a singing banana in sixth grade.   It must have been puberty.  He voice was decent.  Good even.

Marker grinned.  "A dangerous pastime."  No one was surprised at the quality of Marker's voice.  The boy had serious talent.__

Sharpener nodded seriously.

"I know  
That crazy old coach is Phe's father  
And his sanity's only so-so.  
Now the wheels in my head have been turning  
Since I looked at that loony old man  
See I promised myself I'd be dating his girls  
And right now I'm evolving plan!"

The two whispered, seemingly conspiring something.  Their facial expressions were priceless.  Lillia continued to stare in awe as they sang, 

"If I   
Then, would she   
Yes!"__

They put their arms around each other.

"Let's go!  
No one plots like Gaston  
Takes cheap shots like Gaston  
Plans to persecute chicks that are so hot like Gaston  
So his victory we'll soon all be celebrating  
My what a guy like Gaston!"__

Lillia's pink eyes shined. "I'm. So. Happy! Sharpner is AMAZING! My life has meaning again! He'll make a great Gaston!"

Videl shook her head. "I don't know.  Let's not making any definite decisions now. I have a hunch.  Just go with me.  Marker, read the part of Gaston on page seven.  Sharpner, you read for Claude and Gohan, get over here.  Read for Ben."

Gohan jogged on to the stage looking apprehensive. Videl gave him a small smile and Gohan took a deep breath to calm down.

Sharpner looked jovial as he smacked Gohan on the back.  Videl saw him wince and look away, his face the picture of pure pain. Without trying to be obvious, he cradled his throbbing hand. "That's right!  One look at you and I knew you would be football material!  You played for those Huns last year, didn't you?"

Gohan smiled tentatively. "That's right sir.  I even played against this team during the preseason.  You're their most formidable foe."

"I don't know what that means, but they sure do hate us!  I'm glad you're on our side now, Ceres.  We might have a chance at winning the Championship this year, and then that old fuddy-duddy of a principal won't cut our budget." Sharpner pouted comically, drawing a laugh from everyone in the auditorium. He looked away again, hoping that no one saw him as he shook his hand.

"What's he doing?" a kid in the audience asked.  "That's not in the script."

"Yeah," agreed another.  "It looks like he broke his hand or something."

"Videl, this is brilliant!"  Lillia was saying, waving her script frantically.  "Sharpner as Claude!  Excellent!  You're a genius!"

Videl shrugged modestly. "Sharpner's a ham. This role was made for him. Marker could play the bad guy, no problem."

Marker stared at the papers in his hands for a moment before turning his attention to the young director.   "Videl!  Videl!  Darling, I need to know.  What's my motivation here?"

"Your motivation is to get this scene done before I kill you."

"Wow that sure got me motivated!" Marker cleared his throat. "And then I can date Kat!"

"You're a Godsend!" Marker and Sharpner said in unison.

Gohan cleared his throat, hoping to get their attention. "Speaking of your daughters…"

Sharpner ignored Gohan along with the shooting pain in his right hand. "Now, team!  Our first game of the year is against the Huns, and we've got our work cut out for us!  And you know what I always say…"

Marker looked thoughtful.  "Those who fight and run away live to fight another day?"

Sharpner pretended to look incredibly offended.  "NO!  Well… yes, but that's not the point!"

"Okay guys, that was great. Start singing from line 'What you believe in,'" Videl fanned herself with her script. It felt like it was over a thousand degrees in the packed auditorium.

Sharpner cleared his throat.  "What you believe in is all you really own  
And I believe that she's right."

All three chorused, with Gohan singing so quietly he was barely heard, "Mama says." 

Sharpner continued, "If you've got doubts, well, then, boy, you're not alone  
Just means you're ready to fight  
And Mama says it doesn't matter  
If you're a king or you're a clown  
Once you drive up a mountain  
You can't back down, down, down, down  
You can turn up the heat."

Marker belted out his next line, really getting into it. "You can turn up the road."__

Sharpner put his arms around Gohan and Marker, being careful of his red hand.  "You can carry a beat."__

Marker ducked out from under his arm."You can carry a load."__

Sharpner stamped his foot and his arms over his chest.  "You can throw a fit."

Marker playfully started fighting with Sharpner."You can throw a punch."

Sharpner sang as sweetly as he could to Gohan.  "You can bring up a child."

Gohan took another deep breath, hoping he hit the right notes.  "You can bring up your lunch!  
A one, two, three!"

There was dead silence in the room. Videl stared at her boyfriend. "Gohan… that was…"

"You know, I haven't really sung like this before and if I--"

"No, NO! You were GREAT!" Lillia argued, trying hard not to beam. The lead male role had just been cast and judging from the adoring look on Videl's face, she knew she felt the same way. "Gohan, we'd like to hear you alone, please.  Could you start "The Distance" on page thirty-seven?  From the second chorus."

Gohan's hands shook as he stared at the words on the page. _Just pretend you're singing the song to one person, _Videl had told him the night before. _And only look at that one person and you should be fine._  He bit his bottom lip, trying to will away the apprehension. __

"And I won't look back  
I can go the distance  
And I'll stay on track  
No I won't accept defeat  
It's an uphill slope  
But I won't lose hope  
Till I go the distance  
And my journey is  
Complete

But to look beyond the glory  
is the hardest part  
For a hero's strength is  
measured by his heart."

He let his gaze fall on Videl as he softly sang the last lines of the song.

"Like a shooting star  
I will go the distance  
I will search the world  
I will face its harms  
I don't care how far  
I can go the distance  
Till I find my hero's welcome  
Waiting in you arms."

Everyone clapped, amazed at how well the young man could sing. Lillia gazed at her co-director who looked ready to faint at any moment, although she wasn't sure if it was from the heat, or from her boyfriend's song.  

Gohan was blushing mildly on stage, unsure where to look.  "Am I done?"

"I think we're all done," declared Videl, standing up. "At least for today.  It is SO hot in here!"

Lillia looked at her through slanted eyes.  "Why didn't you take off your jacket?"

Videl blushed and stammered. "Eh-hehe, well, it's a long story and I have to be at Capsule Corp in an hour to be weighed in, so why don't I tell you later?"

Sharpner looked bored.  "She's embarrassed because her boobs are bigger."

"SHARPNER!"  Videl and Gohan both screamed at him, Videl blushing madly and Gohan shaking with anger.

"What?  It's the truth!"

"Why are you looking?" they both screamed again.

Marker looked down and put his hand over his mouth to stop from laughing. 

Lillia sighed.  "The remainder of auditions will be held the day after tomorrow," she told the remaining students.  They began filing out of the large room.  "See you all then.  Good night."

Videl smacked herself with her script as Gohan loomed dangerously over Sharpner, cracking his knuckles.  Sharpner cowered in genuine fear, while Marker appeared torn between busting a gut from laughing and breaking his two friends apart.  "Why me?" she moaned piteously.  "Why me?"

***

Although it was nearing five in the afternoon, the sun still shone brightly over the Capsule Corp. complex, forcing Videl to rummage through her bag for nearly ten minutes trying to find her sunglasses, which were apparently missing in action.   By the time she reached the front door, she was hot, blind, and thoroughly annoyed.  She managed to prevent Sharpner from being killed by pulling Gohan out of the auditorium and into her jetcopter as quickly as she could.

Right after she punched Sharpner in the gut for being perverted, of course.

Then she managed to convince Gohan to go home (but relented when he insisted he was going to pick her up in an hour), she had flown straight to Capsule Corporation in hopes she could make this visit short and sweet.  Her nerves were completely shot, and she didn't think she could handle much more stress in one day.  And Gohan.  Jeez.  He'd nearly taken Sharpner's head off.  It was strange, she thought, as she rang the doorbell, that the closer she and Gohan became, the more apt he was to fly off the handle in situations pertaining to her.  She promised herself that she would ask Vegeta about Saiyan territorial issues later.

"Videl!" exclaimed Bulma, as she opened the door, her short hair flying widely behind her.  She held a cigarette in her right hand.  "I've been waiting for you!  I have wonderful news!"

Videl stared at her boss.  "You've decided to pull funding from the Junior/Senior Showcase?" she asked hopefully.

"Why would I do that?" Bulma inquired politely, ushering her intern into the building.  They walked through a maze of hallways and staircases that Videl had become quite familiar with over the last month, and proceeded through a pair of glass doors into the laboratory complex.   "Besides, I don't have the power to do something like that.  I just donate money to the school. The School Board decides where it goes."

"Wonderful," Videl replied, less than enthusiastically.  "So nothing can save me, I guess."

Bulma opened the door to her office and gestured for Videl to take a seat.  "But you're not actually _in_ the Showcase, are you?"  She put out her cigarette and opened a window.  "Very warm today, isn't it?"

Videl nodded.

"Why don't you take your jacket off, dear?" Bulma asked.  "You'll be much more comfortable."  When Videl made no move to remove the excess clothing, Bulma sighed and continued.  "The idea you had two weeks ago about a new line of personalized assistant bots went over very well with Daddy and the rest of the team down in IT."  

"Really?"  The idea in itself was somewhat of a fluke, Videl reflected.  Two weeks earlier, she'd dropped by in hopes that Vegeta would give her one of those talking scale things in order to monitor her own weight.  While he was finding her a spare, Ainoko, the assistant from Planet Psycho, had somehow found out she was there and shown up.  To make matters worse, she would not stop her incessant rambling about Vegeta.  Videl's stomach churned just thinking about it.  When he had returned with the scale and Ainoko had finally retreated to wherever she prayed to the nether gods about him, she'd mentioned sarcastically that if Ainoko was more like the good-natured scale, business would probably be a lot more efficient.

Bulma just happened to overhear her, and thought that it was a great idea.  An artificial intelligence personally suited to the businessman, programmed to photocopy, fax, e-mail, run errands, make coffee, take notes, etcetera.  It would make life for people like Bulma much simpler, and, Videl thought with an impish grin, it would make insane assistants obsolete. "Yes. They were quite impressed; they've decided to hold a formal dinner to unveil the prototype."

"When?"

"Friday night at eight at South Capital Plaza Hotel.  The Board of Directors have very graciously offered us rooms for overnight stay.  It's nothing to be worried about. We eat, we drink, we shmooze, we make a little speech--"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute here. Speech? No one said anything about a speech." Videl put her hands up, backing away slowly.

Bulma ignored her panicking intern. "You said you were going shopping today, right? Pick up something… sexy. The press will love that. Then again, so will Gohan. And just about every male there." Bulma paused. "Maybe I should buy a new dress too!"

"Speech?"

Bulma looked down at her watch. "It's getting late, dear. You don't want the malls to close right?" Bulma pushed the small girl to the door of the gravity room. "So go get weighed and get out of here."

"Speech?" Videl squeaked as the door opened and she was face to face with Vegeta, who merely stared at her with his perpetually bored look.  And that stupid smirk.  Like being with her was beneath him.

Uch, royalty.

"Remind me to get myself fired," Videl said to either herself or Vegeta.  She threw her jacket on the floor angrily, narrowing her eyes at the scale. "Alright scale. It's you and me. Mano a mano."

"I _hate_ to be the bearer of bad news, but that is a scale, and you are a woman.  And you are slaughtering the Spanish language with your improper use of _mano_,"  Vegeta pointed out, trying to hide his shock at the change in the young woman in front of him.  He had expected her to put on twenty pounds of pure muscle, but it was evident there were fat deposits in unanticipated places.  He looked her up and down, noting the increase in fat tissue in the chest and hip area, but her abdominal muscles, biceps, and leg muscles were sculpted almost to perfection.  Her current figure, very much similar to how Chi-Chi must have looked when she was seventeen, was much more adequate for proper fighting than her previous waif-ish one.    

"Shut up, Vegeta," Videl pulled at her boots, throwing them clear across the room.  "What the hell, are you Mexican now?  I'm doing what I can with seventh grade Spanish, okay?"  Vegeta ducked quickly, nearly getting smacked in the head with the heavy object that whizzed by his right ear. "But I don't care about you.  This is about me and the scale.  And it's war.  I'm taking off my shoes, you stupid scale, and I'm taking no prisoners."

Vegeta's left eyebrow twitched and he tried to hide the fact that he was silently admiring the fact that the sailing boot had nearly dented the wall that had impeded its flight. "You're the one talking to a machine and you're calling _it_ stupid?"

Videl ignored Vegeta as she kicked off her boots and placed her hand on the small, rectangular console that rested on the top of the scale.  "Subject identified," the voice declared. "Hello again, Satan Videl.  You have recovered nicely from your lung deficiency and are now at one hundred percent capacity. Please step on the scale," it requested pleasantly, though Videl could have sworn she heard it mutter something about screwdrivers and playing around with people's trust. 

Must be the diet.

Videl stepped on the scale and scrunched her eyes closed in a silent prayer.  If she wasn't at her goal weight, Vegeta might never train her. "Analyzing… Miss Satan's current height is… five feet, zero inches. Her current weight is… one hundred and twenty-six pounds. Her current percent body fat is… nine percent. Goal weight for optimum performance is… one hundred and twenty-seven pounds. Goal body fat percentage for optimum performance is…eight percent."

Videl's face fell. "Only one pound more and I would have reached my goal," Videl slipped into her boots, her blue eyes dark with disappointment. She blew a piece of her hair out of her face, closing her boots so tight her knuckles were turning white. "And I even put on an extra percentage of fat, though that might cause me more trouble than what it's worth," she added, glancing disparagingly down at the generous swell of her chest. 

"It's acceptable," Vegeta's voice broke her out of her thoughts. "You now are at a satisfactory weight and we can begin real training tomorrow." Vegeta narrowed his eyes in annoyance at Videl's shocked look. "You're dismissed. Get out of my sight."

"But I thought you said…"

"One pound isn't going to make much of a difference," replied Vegeta, crossing his arms over his chest.  "Your weight will fluctuate day to day, diet or not.  The extra muscle and fat you've put on is adequate for your training regime.  Though," he leered at her, "that extra one percent of fat will probably dissipate once training begins." 

Videl blushed, hurrying to pick up her fallen jacket from the floor.  "Low blow, Vegeta," she muttered, pulling her jacket tightly around her.  "School today was like sixth grade all over again."

Vegeta encapsulated the equipment.  "What do you care?  If someone makes a vulgar remark, just destroy them."

"I can't just go around destroying people!" retorted Videl, following Vegeta out of the Gravity Room and into the living room.  She remembered Sharpner's little outburst at rehearsal and added at a lower volume, "No matter how much I'd like to."

"Welcome to my pathetic little world," Vegeta said forlornly.  "Now really.  Get out of my house.  Didn't Bulma say something about shopping?  It's already almost six.  Don't those shops close soon?"

Videl was about to respond with a witty remark about how her father was the primary shareholder of the Central East Shopping Mall and if she wanted to, she could shop at three in the morning, when the living room's intercom began beeping.  "Vegeta," called Bulma.  "Could you please order some pizza?  I'm going to be stuck in the lab for another hour and Trunks is going to come pounding down those stairs any second demanding food."

"Fine."

"And don't order thirteen pies with sausages this time."

"FINE!"  Vegeta spat.  "Goddamn woman, she's a pizza purist.  She even picks off the blasted cheese."  Videl managed to suppress her smirk as her new instructor crossed the room to pick up the cordless.  He had barely dialed the numbers when the doorbell rang.  "Well.  Don't just stand there.  Answer the damn door!"

Videl turned to glare at Vegeta one last time before stalking over to the front door and opening it.  Lo and behold, there stood Gohan, smiling brightly, carrying over twenty pizza pies in his left hand.  Videl looked at Gohan, and then back at Vegeta.  "What the hell, Vegeta?  Did you call the psychic pizza hotline or something?"

Gohan laughed, stepping into the house.  "I figured with Bulma so busy and all, you guys would probably be hungry."

"Vegeta," Videl shouted into the house.  "You don't have to order anything!  Our resident Psychic Saiyan has supplied us with nourishment for the evening."

A dark blur whirled in front of Gohan and attached itself to Videl's leg.  "I'm here too, Videl!"

"He has also," Videl added, "brought a Mini-Saiyan with him."

Gohan sent Goten in with the pizzas (which were, incidentally, stacked taller than him) and smiled at Videl.  "So, am I your knight in shining armor yet?" he asked, offering his arm.

She laughed and took it, letting him lead her into the kitchen.  "You rescued me from a night of mindless shopping.  Now that you've brought dinner, I don't have to shop until tomorrow."

"What are you shopping for?"

"I need a stupid dress for a Capsule Corp. dinner on Friday," she told him.  "You will be coming as my date, right?"

"What are boyfriends for?" he joked, hugging her quickly.  When he released her he said seriously, "And about before… I didn't mean to offend you by my actions."

Videl blushed.  "I wasn't really offended.  Just surprised.  You… er… you're allowed to look at me like that, you know."

Gohan looked away, his cheeks burning.  "It was rude.  I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't."

"Gohan!  I swear!  It's FINE."

"Fine."      

"Fine."

"Fine."      

"Fine."

"FINE!"

"FINE!"  Videl blinked.  "What are we arguing about again?"

Gohan laughed.  "I can't even begin to tell you how cute you are."

"You're only saying that because you have to," she pouted adorably.  

"Nope," he said.  "Because it's true.  Is this dinner really formal?"

She nodded.  "You'll need a tuxedo."

"I have one."

"REALLY?"

"Sure.  What did you think I was going to wear to the prom?"

"I thought you'd rent one," admitted Videl.  "That's what most guys -- hey.  You haven't even ASKED me yet!"   _Not_, she added silently, _that I would say no._

"I will," promised Gohan.

"You… will."

"Eventually," he said, with a secret smile.  "Don't worry."

"Who's worried?"  Well she wasn't _before_.   "Oh, SHIT."

"What?" Gohan turned to look at her with concern.  "What is it?"

Videl pouted again.  "Now I need TWO dresses!"

***

Central East Shopping Mall was one of the largest in the country, located on a large block of land only a couple of miles from Orange Star High School.  It was, Videl reflected, driving quickly down Route 4 the next morning, the main reason why Erasa cut so many classes sophomore year.  And junior year.  And this year.

She stopped at a red light, and spared a glace at herself through the rear view mirror.  Her hair was a mess (perhaps the only bad thing about a convertible) but the dark circles that had been creeping up underneath her eyes had almost completely disappeared.  That, she supposed, had something to do with sleeping for over fifteen hours the night before.  AND three of the hours prior to that were spent intertwined with Gohan before he convinced her that it really was getting late, she was practically unconscious and her father would kill him if he found them in her bedroom, sleeping together.

She loved just laying in bed with him, making him jump by rubbing her cold feet against his legs (because she was always cold, and he was always, always warm), having pillow fights (because of this cruel and unusual treatment of making him cold) and letting him let her win.  He always let her win, crying mercy as she perched on top of him, holding the pillow threateningly over him, promising suffocation. 

And he would raise one eyebrow and ask her if she would really suffocate him, because that certainly wouldn't be nice, and just why wasn't she kissing him yet?  She would kiss him softly, obligingly, because that's what she always did, and then seconds and minutes and hours and eternities passed, and all that existed was him and her, bated breaths and soft whispers, kisses and touches and moments like this, when it seemed like everything was perfect, everywhere.

And she slept so soundly in his arms, when alone she was plagued by nightmares and memories and hardships.  He was her protector, her savior.  On nights like this, words would not be passed between them, only these moments, in the haziness of sleep.

_Jeez_, she thought, parking and encapsulating the car.  _He's turned me into a goddamned poet._

She stood in front of the mall entrance and stared wearily at the double glass doors.  Clutching her bag to her side, she braced herself and stepped through.  Though it was fairly early, there was still a multitude of patrons hustling about, some she recognized and some she didn't.  A group of Orange Star cheerleaders ran past her as she made her way over to the directory, calling out a greeting that was much, much too enthusiastic for so early in the morning and in such a place as this.  The mall, gah.  Five excruciating levels of consumer indulgence, complete with nine department stores, fifteen toy stores, more clothing establishments than humanly possible, a movie theatre, a skating rink, laser ball, seventeen restaurants, a roller coaster whose rails traveled the perimeter of the wall, and a gorgeous, antique carousel, more than fifty feet in diameter and thirty feet high.

She smiled when it caught her eye; she had actually been the one that made the informed, executive decision to add it to the megacomplex.  "Daddy," she'd said, bouncing around him, "you should put a dojo in the mall you're building.  Or… a carousel!"

He never was able to deny her much.  

She walked over to the information desk and grabbed a hard copy of the mall directory.  Without Erasa pulling her arm across the six million square feet, Videl had no idea where she was going.  It was time for formulate a game plan, map out a strategy and get done with this hellish chore before seven, when she had to meet Erasa, Lil, Marker, Sharpner and Gohan for Dim Sum at Sweet-n-Tart on the fifth level.

_Okay_, she thought, studying the directory.  _I need to hit the usual spots for new spring clothes that actually _fit_ -- Abercrombie, American Eagle, Old Navy, etcetera, please shoot me now -- and the department stores for a dress, so I guess I'll just go down to the commons level and make my way back up._  She rolled the directory up and stuck it in her purse, and set forth on her journey towards the escalators.  A bright pink, blazing light caught her attention towards the far right, and sighed when she realized she needed to stop in _that_ particular store as well.  Last, she decided resolutely.  Dead and complete last.  By then, she'd be too tired and exasperated to be embarrassed, and much more likely to punch any salesperson should that dare to accost her.  And if one of them even suggested measuring her themselves, well…

It wouldn't be pretty.

And, to her dismay, she knew that she would actually have to _try stuff on, _not only in the accursed store, but in all of the others.  This was ultimately the reason for this shopping trip, as she would usually just flip through a couple of catalogues at home and order what she needed by phone or online.  However, due to the last four weeks of training, her body had resculpted itself in such a way that _nothing_ in her current wardrobe fit quite the way she would have liked it to.   Fuck.  This was all _Vegeta's_ fault!

"Fuck you, Vegeta," she growled to herself, making her way through the increasing crowd and to the first store on her list.  "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK YOU!"

Because when life sucked, Vegeta's Law always replaced Murphy's.

*** 

"She's nervous about the speech," said Gohan, tossing a head of lettuce into the shopping cart.  He and Marker were wandering quasi-aimlessly around the market, sometimes following the list Chi-Chi had given them, sometimes not.  The cart was nearly halfway full and they'd only been through two aisles.   Gohan continued tossing salad items with dead accuracy from seven feet away, where Marker was calmly placing dairy items.

"Don't crush the eggs, man," scolded Marker, ducking as a bag of tomatoes flew his way.  He reached up and caught them midair, seconds before the produce would have flattened his precious eggs.  He barely had time to recover and move the eggs to the side before a bag of red peppers nearly beamed him in the head, landing in the exact spot where the eggs had just been.  "Is food shopping always this fun with you, Gohan?"

Gohan sealed a bag of cucumbers, carrots and radishes.  "You should go shopping with my brother and Trunks.  They've been known to play hockey with celery and eggs across a floor they covered in cake flour."

Marker nodded.  "Which is why you are the lone Son on this shopping trip."

"The owner took out a restraining order on them.  They're not allowed to come within fifty feet of the establishment."   

"I am SO happy I'm an only child," Marker muttered under his breath, grasping a hold of the shopping cart.  "Anyway, so Vi has this big speech next weekend, huh?  How far has she gotten?"

Gohan dropped the rest of the vegetables into the cart.  "She still sputters, 'Sp-p-p-p-eeech,' every time I bring it up.  I've decided just to let it drop."

"Probably a wise idea," replied Marker, glancing at the list in his hand.  "I bet you're excited though.  A whole night with Videl, all alone, absolutely NO interruptions…"

Gohan almost dropped the frozen shrimp he had been holding.  "W-what?"

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it.  I mean, you are staying overnight with her, in a hotel, in a bed --"

"I'm sure there will be two beds," Gohan squeaked, his voice betraying the images that were now flashing through his mind, most of them having to do with Videl, and a bed, and him and Videl, in a bed -- okay, time to cut off that line of thinking.  "Two beds.  Right.  More than one."

Marker almost died of laughter right then.  "God Gohan, you really are that naïve.  Do you even know where babies come from?"

"Of course I do!"  Gohan replied indignantly.  "I'm eighteen years old!  I've taken biology!"  Gohan turned his red face towards the rest of the seafood.  "Maybe I'm just not comfortable talking about… you know… s… s… "

"Sex?" supplied Marker loudly.

"Shhhhhh!"  Gohan flailed, pulling Marker behind a display of Campbell's soup.  Their shopping cart sailed away and clanged against the shelves of cereal.  "Someone might hear you!"

Marker rolled his eyes.  "And think what?  'Oh, those two eighteen-year-old boys are talking about sex!  The horror!  The outrage!'  Gohan, if an eighteen-year-old boy isn't thinking about, talking about, or actually having sex every one point three seconds, _that's_ abnormal!"

"I'm not every eighteen-year old boy!" hissed Gohan, ducking further down under the chicken and stars.  

"Yes, you are obviously much more mentally imbalanced," was the reply.  Marker pulled free from Gohan's grip and stood up.  "Oh, get up Gohan.  We might as well have this conversation so that you won't go into complete hemorrhagic shock when you have this conversation with Videl."

"_What_ conversation?"

"The SEX conversation!"

"GAH!"

"I've never met anyone as squeamish as you are about sex," Marker admonished, holding out his hand.  Gohan reluctantly took it and pulled himself to full height.

Gohan stared at him blankly.  "Have you MET my mother?"

Marker nodded gravely.  "Point.  Look, this is important.  You're telling me that in the three months you've been seeing Videl, you and she never discussed this issue?"

"It isn't an issue," Gohan said, regaining his composure.  He sighed wearily, picking up four boxes of cereal and handing them to Marker.  "Videl and I, our relationship isn't about se --  about se -- about _that_."   

"Every relationship is about sex, whether its acknowledged or not," said Marker sagely.  "You can't tell me that you don't think about it."

"Of course I do," muttered Gohan, studying the nutritional information of Pop Tarts meticulously.  He refused to meet Marker's eye.  "Do you ever look at her?  She's practically a goddess.  And not just on the outside, either."  He put the box away.  "But I refuse to demean and debase our relationship by making it about sex.  There.  I said it."  

Marker leaned on the pushcart.  "Do you feel better?"

"Strangely liberated, actually," Gohan revealed.

"You can't go on ignoring it like it isn't there," his friend scolded.  "That isn't healthy.  It's all bound to blow up in your face sooner or later, and probably sooner, as next week at this time you'll be shaking up with a scantily clad girlfriend in a quiet, secluded hotel room and she'll probably be going out of her mind wondering why her sweet, nice and perfect boyfriend has never, ever tried to make a move on her."

Gohan crossed his arms over his chest.  "Just because I don't try to grope my girlfriend at every given opportunity doesn't make me a bad boyfriend."

"Have you ever?"  Marker cocked one eyebrow.

"Have I ever _what_?"

"You know.  Tried to take things further than kissing."

Gohan nearly knocked over a pyramid of toilet paper, which happened to be in his way as he careened the shopping cart to the far left.  He bit his tongue so hard he could taste the coppery flavor of his blood as he steered himself back on track.  "Oh.  My.  God.  You did NOT just ask me that.  Are you _trying_ to send me into cardiac arrest?"

"I'm trying to jar you back to reality, Gohan," Marker said.  "Real reality, not the little reality you've created in your mind.  Sex is real.  It's everywhere.  It might even be waiting for you next weekend."  

"That isn't funny," admonished Gohan, but Marker's smile was wide and unwavering as he undoubted started the wheels turning. 

"That's the only rational thing to do, right?" asked Marker, carefully making his way over to the deli section.  Chi-Chi had requested a massive amount of lunchmeat, and he stepped up to the counter to place the order.  "You have to laugh at it. You can't enshrine it in some temple. And you certainly can't try and run from it.  It's like food, water, air. We're inhaling it every time we breathe."

Gohan sighed.  Thanks to Marker, he was second guessing his decision not to rush things with Videl.  What if she felt insecure about it?  What if she thought it was because of her?  Which, Gohan thought, definitely wasn't the case.  Because if he thought that she was okay with taking things further -- but not quite as far as Marker was insinuating -- then he supposed it was okay with him, once he got over the blood loss.  She _had_ said that it was okay to look at her -- did she also mean it was okay to -- GAH!

And now, this thing that had suddenly hung between Gohan and Videl silently was going to have to come out.  And it would have to be soon.

Gohan sighed again.  "Can't we breathe something else?"

"You can try air, my man," Marker replied, "but it ain't nearly as fun."

***

Five hours after walking through the entrance to the Central East Shopping Mall, Videl found herself slumped over at Starbucks on the fourth level, sipping an iced latte while her purse and shopping bag full of capsules rested on the small, wooden table in front of her.  She was tired.  She was hot.  Her patience was wearing thin and her credit card was _this _close to its max.  She had, over the last couple of hours, collected over twenty capsules, one from each store in which she had made a purchase.  She let the cool, iced flavor soothe her as she flipped through the receipts she had compiled throughout the day.   Five hundred zeni here, eight hundred there… she'd compiled enough clothes for three summer wardrobes, and although she promised herself she would _not_ be talked into buying things she didn't need, she found herself being flattered by more than one salesperson.  For example, she really shouldn't have let that girl in Diesel talk her into eight pairs of jeans, a bag, sunglasses and sneakers, or that really cute guy in Abercrombie talk her into buying half of the t-shirts and tank tops that they had in stock, but a girl could only resist for so long.  And so she let them make the decisions for her, pick out whatever they wanted, and she obligingly handed over her credit card as shopping continued to suck out her soul.

And, to her dismay, she hadn't been able to find a decent dress in any of the stores she'd hit.  They were all too revealing, too poofy, or just too plain ugly for a formal dinner.  She'd nearly choked on her tongue when a girl, not much younger than her, had emerged from the fitting rooms in the last department store she'd been in, wearing a hideous orange thing -- it couldn't even have been classified as a dress -- with too many layers of chiffon, rhinestones, and, for God's sake, it was _orange_.   

She finished her coffee quickly and headed towards BCGB, conveniently only a few stores down.   A glimmering blue caught her eye, and she found herself staring at the dress prominently displayed in the window.  Even she, known far and wide for her hate of shopping and lack of appreciation for clothing, had to hold in a breath at the beauty of the garment.  It was absolutely perfect.

She stepped into the store.  "Excuse me," she said politely to the nearest saleslady.  "I'm looking for a dress."

"Oh, hello there," replied the lady, who looked about as nice as her grandmother and just as snobbish.  She gave Videl the once over, taking in the plain purple tee-shirt and jeans she'd chosen to wear on the shopping trip from hell.  "You _do_ seem to need help, young lady, but this may not be the place for you.  Maybe you should try Sears, it's right across the hall."

Videl set her jaw.  "Ex_cuse_ me?  Look lady, I just wanted to ask about the dress in the window.  How much is it? " 

The woman turned from Videl back to whatever she was doing before the young woman had walked in.  " I don't think it would fit you. 

Videl bit down hard on her bottom lip.  "I didn't ask you if it would fit."  _Which it would, you barracuda, and you're just jealous that I'm still a size two and you're stuffing yourself into a size ten.  _"I asked how much it was." 

"It's very expensive." 

Videl narrowed her eyes, clutching her bag of capsules to her chest.  How… how DARE this woman!  Didn't she know who she WAS?  Was she living under a rock?!  But… but no.  She would not pull rank this time.  She would be calm.  She would be cool.

She was no Julia Roberts, but she WAS Videl Satan, and no one, NO ONE judged her like this.

"Do you normally talk to all of your customers in such a condescending and rude manner?"  Videl asked, keeping her temper in check.  "I'd like to talk to your manager."

The lady looked amused.  "Would you?  Maybe you should leave before you embarrass yourself further."

Videl could feel the ki flowing through her maddeningly.  "And maybe you should call your manager before I kick your ass halfway across the room!"

"Videl?" called a voice from the back of the room.  "Videl Satan, is that you?"

There was a blur of dark colors and then she was pressed hard against someone's chest in a brutal hug.    "Videl!" her assailant exclaimed.  "My God!  I haven't seen you in… it has to be a good two years now!"  He released her and held her at arms length, taking a good look at her.  Videl spied the rude saleslady out of the corner of her eye, wanting to see her face when she realized who exactly she was fucking with.  She, as it were, was not disappointed; Videl would forever hold close to her heart the look of horror plastered across her face.  "You're taller!  You're hair is shorter!" his gaze wandered a bit lower.  "You're… wow, Videl.  You're all grown up."

Videl blinked hard.  She had made the transition from anger to surprise so quickly that she hadn't yet processed the face in front of her.  Dark brown hair.  Sparkling blue eyes.  Dazzling smile.   "Jack?  Omigod, JACK!"  Videl latched herself back onto him.  "Where have you been?  I thought you were in Paris!"

"I was, for a bit," his voice was just as suave and distinguished as she remembered.  "I did some work for Louis Vuitton and Armani, but I found myself missing the comforts of home.  _And_ Max Azria offered me this job here, how could I refuse?   How _are_ you, darling?"

Videl grinned.  This was working out even better than she'd imagined.  Jack was Jyou's best (and most blatantly homosexual) friend from high school.  He'd been hired by the best right out of high school, shuffling off to Paris to study and work with the top fashion designers in the world, but now he was back, and not only was he going to get her a fabulous discount on that dress, but he was also going to make her day.  "I would be better, Jackie, if this woman over here," she pointed to said woman, who's face was still plastered with shock that the teenager she thought was a simple ragamuffin turned out to not only be THE Videl Satan (of the Satan City Satans, and also, the daughter of the World Champion, and, perhaps most importantly, the daughter of the man who OWNED THE MALL) but she also knew Jack Fukushoku, currently BCGB's top designer, "had not treated me like trash when I walked in here."

"Is that true, Miho?" he asked the woman.

"She made me feel terrible," continued Videl, staring Miho down.  "She took one look at what I was wearing, and told me that I didn't _belong_ here.  Do you know what I think, _Miho_?  I think you're the one that doesn't belong here.  Because if Jack and Jyou taught me anything in high school, is that fashion is about attitude, not money.  And yours needs a severe adjustment."

"M-m-miss Satan," Miho stammered, bowing gravely.  "I am so terribly sorry, I had no idea --"

Jack narrowed his eyes.  "You don't have any idea, do you, Miho?"

"And if it weren't for Jack and that dress, the one you so kindly pointed out wouldn't fit," said Videl, and Jack look horrified at the thought, "I certainly would never shop in this particular establishment again, and I would make sure that the entire city knew not to shop here as well.  I don't think Mr. Azria would have appreciated such a thing, do you?" 

"I'd think not," agreed Jack, "so I think it would be best for everyone if you took your leave, Miho."

"What?"

"You're fired."   

The look of horror intensified on Miho's craggy face.  "How -- how -- well I never!" she huffed, and disappeared into the back of the store.  Videl and Jack shared an amused look as Miho returned with her coat and bag.  "You'll be hearing from my lawyer, Mr. Fukushoku.  I have a contract!"

Jack waved his hand airily.  "You're an assistant in sales.  You are easily expendable."

"You know," said Videl wryly, "if you're looking for a job, you might want to try Sears.  It's right across the hall, you know."  ****

Miho's face turned an interesting shade of red as she turned on her heels and stomped out of the posh store.  Videl and Jack doubled over in laughter.  "She really _was_ a bitch," said Jack, between laughs.  "I've been looking for an excuse to fire her for _months_.  Now, you say you're interested in that hot little number in the window?  Big date, Videl?"

Videl blushed, calming.  "Not really.  I work for Capsule Corp. and they're holding a formal dinner on Friday night to reveal a prototype that I've been helping with."

Jack took her hand and led her towards the back.  He took her pocketbook and bag of capsules.  He gestured for her to step upon a small footstool and pulled a tape measure seemingly out from nowhere.  "Formal dinners usually require hot hates."  He started taking her measurements.  "And, from the look on your face, you definitely have one.  What's his name?  Is he cute?"  

"No, he's hideously ugly," joked Videl, wincing as Jack pinched her side.  "Of course he's cute.  You _know_ I don't associate with ugly people." 

"Then explain your friendship with Sharpner," he replied, eyes sparkling with mirth.  He wrapped the tape measure around his hand and walked towards the racks of dresses to his immediate right.  He flipped through a couple before pulling out the dress from the display.  "Here."

Videl took the dress and pulled the curtain around herself.  She kicked off her shoes, stepped out of her jeans and pulled her t-shirt over her head.  Carefully as not to disturb the soft fabric, she stepped into the garment.  She slipped the strap over her shoulder and reached behind to zipper it.  She smoothed down the re-embroidered lace, lifted up the skirt and opened the curtain.  She heard Jack breathe sharply, and looked up quickly to find a slightly stunned look on his face.  

"Well, well, Videl," he said, walking over to her, "My mouth drops."

"Thinking about switching teams, Jackie?" asked Videl, twirling.

Jack came behind her.  "I'm considering it."  He winked at her.  "We're going to need to take a couple of centimeters off the bottom," he knelt, and pulled up the skirts to her ankles.  He inserted a couple of pins, and straightened.  "And take in a couple of centimeters of fabric here," he pulled at her waist, "and here, under your arms.  But otherwise, it looks absolutely fabulous, darling."

"Can you have it by Friday morning?" she asked, taking one last look at herself before disappearing back under the curtains.  She emerged fully clothed, the dress folded neatly over her arms.

"Done," he affirmed.  "And I have the perfect shoes for this dress.  Strappy, blue sexy sandals," he put his hands in front of him, palms facing his old friend.  "You'll look absolutely _irresistible_.  And I'll take twenty percent off your purchase for damages suffered by discourteous salespeople."

Videl shook her head.  "You don't have to --"

Jack put his arms around her shoulders, leading her to the shoe section.  "I want to.  But you have to promise me pictures.  Lots of them.  AND it wouldn't hurt if you would steer some of your friends this way for their prom dresses.  Do some PR for me, okay, sweetie?"

"Deal."

An hour and an unholy amount of money later (even with the discount, the dress -- with shoes, matching bag and hair ornaments -- cost an arm and a leg, and many other indispensable body parts) Videl emerged from BCGB and headed to the last store.  Checking her watch (still over an hour left until she had to go up to the restaurant), she considered bailing and grabbing another iced latte instead.  She sighed; because of the dress she had just purchased, she really had no choice.

She took a deep breath, prepared herself and walked through the door, vowing to blast anyone that even _spoke_ to her.  

Crouching behind a trashcan near a potted plant display, a figure shrouded in black watched, amusedly, as Videl's face turned a nice, pink color, and stayed that way as she browsed.  "Well, well," he cackled, "Victoria's not the only one with a secret."

***

Videl, Lillia and Gohan walked briskly from her car in Orange Star's parking lot in silence.  It was eerily quiet around the campus; they were over an hour early, the reason currently being held in Videl's right hand.  The cast and crew list for the showcase had been finalized the night before, and she and Lillia were slated to appear with Marker on the morning show to announce the roles.  Then, during lunch, she needed to pick up her dress, and, after school, she needed to get her hair trimmed and styled, AND she needed to be at Capsule Corp by six o'clock, beautified.

It was way, WAY too much work for just one day.

She did have fun showing off her new wardrobe to Erasa and Lillia, who were both proud and smug that Videl spent so much money on clothing and enjoyed it, in sporadic bursts, especially when she had gotten that barracuda fired and met up with Jack.  And she did enjoy the look Miya had given her that morning when she came downstairs in an all Diesel outfit she'd put together: low-waisted, flared jeans, v-neck stretch black tank top and her trusty jean jacket.  She also took extreme pleasure in the look Gohan had given her when he came to pick her up.  

"Videl, have I told you how awesome you look?"  Lillia's voice pierced the silence as they walked through the doors of the school.  

Videl reddened, turning the corner and heading towards the main office.  "Only about a million times, Lil."

Lillia poked Gohan.  "Doesn't she look nice, Gohan?"

Gohan reached out and grabbed Videl's free hand.  When was the last time he'd held her hand like that, she wondered.  It had been awhile.  She missed it.  "I… er… of course… I mean… uh… she always looks nice?"

Videl squeezed his fingers.  "Nice save, Wonderboy."

Later, both he and Lillia waited in the wings while Videl took a deep breath and seated herself next to Marker at his desk, papers in her hands and staring at the OSTV cameras.  It wasn't speaking in front of hundreds of influential and powerful businessmen, but it was good practice.  The problem was, for some inexplicable reason, she had no problems in front of the camera, usually.  She was able to handle the media with veritable ease; it was speaking in front of real people that made her stomach drop right out from under her and constrict her vocal chords.  So she would have to pretend that instead of talking to the cameras, she was really speaking to the entire student body.

Her body gave a violent shudder at the thought.  She closed her eyes tightly and willed it away.

Minutes flew by like seconds, and suddenly Marker was saying, "And here she is now, Videl Satan, revealing those lucky folks who snagged role in the upcoming Junior/Senior Showcase.  Take it away, Videl!"

Videl dug her nails into her right hand as she folded them on the table, trying not to look petrified. She unfolded a long list, trying to hide the obvious nail mark she had made in her right palm. "Everyone did an amazing job at rehearsals and it was much harder to assign roles than we originally thought," Videl cleared her throat. "After careful consideration, the roles are as follows: Lancelot "Lance" Gaston will by played by none other then Marker," she gave Marker a wink and a smile," Katharina "Kat" Montague will be played by Angela; Ophelia "Phe" Montague will be played by Erasa; Hermia "Mia" Valentine will by played by the director, Lillia; Benvolio "Ben" Ceres will be played by Gohan; Claudius "Claude" Montague will be played by Sharpener; Luciana "Lucy" Gaston will be played by Rula; and the Freshman will be played by Penn. Everyone else who tried out for stage parts will be divided into the football team and as understudies. Everyone, including the band and chorus, has practice on Monday at two thirty sharp." 

Marker gave the Orange Star High students a winning smile. "Remember, if you're not IN the show, you need to buy your ticket as soon as they go on sale.  If you don't, Son Gohan _knows_ where you live.  This is Marker, signing off!"

Gohan looked at Marker piteously as the cameras were unplugged.  "Was that really necessary?"

Videl took deep breaths.  "Okay.  That wasn't nearly as terrible as I thought it would be."

"You'll be great later," assured Marker.  "Those Capsule Corp. fuddy duddies won't know what hit 'em."

Lillia wrapped an arm around her friend.  "Have you finished your speech yet?"

Videl nodded, reaching into the back pocket of her jeans.  She flashed her friends a small piece of white paper.  "Behold the power of the written word."

"Thought and theory must precede all salutary action; yet action is nobler in itself than either thought or theory," quoted Gohan.

"Was that Virginia Woolf?" asked Marker.

 "Didn't Virginia Woolf kill herself?" Videl asked suspiciously.

"Er…"

"It just proves," she said, tucking the paper back into her pocket, "that thought and theory are all well and good, but action is suicide."

"Boy," Gohan admonished, "the glass is always half empty with you, isn't it?"

"And cracked," she replied, packing up her bag and getting ready to walk to class.  "And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."

"That was Janeane Garofalo," said Lillia.

"Yeah," replied Videl, sighing.  "And she's _alive."             _

***

"And so," she said firmly, "I am proud to present Capsule Corporation's newest line of artificial intelligence bots, the Assistant Bot!"

She paused, then straightened, throwing her index cards onto the dresser.  She glanced at her audience, and lifted an eyebrow.  "So," Videl asked her reflection, "what did you think?"

Her reflection, provided by one of the mirrors in a Capsule Corp. guest room, could only offer a cocked eyebrow in response.  "Oh, what do you know?" she huffed, and dropped down into a chair.  She reached down to tie up the lace straps of her shoes, which wound around her ankles and calves.  How she'd let Jack talk her into these three-and-a-half-you're-sure-to-trip-and-break-a-leg-inch heels was beyond her.  She used to be strong.  She used to be able to say, "Hell no," with an arched eyebrow and a fierce glare.

But he'd said she looked hot, and she caved.

She was getting soft.

There was a knock on the door, and Mrs. Bulma Briefs herself stepped into the room.  "I thought you might need a little help," she said, walking over to Videl.  She gave her the once over.  "Wow.  We may need to clean Gohan up off the floor when he sees you."

Videl blushed, grabbing her locket and reaching to clasp it shut.  "Stop that." 

Bulma laughed, and moved to stand behind her.  She took the locket and closed it, and also pulled up the zipper that Videl couldn't quite reach.  With her hands on Videl's shoulders, she turned them both towards the mirror.  

"And the verdict is?" Videl asked, softly.   She was most unsure of her hair, which was a funky, weird, in-between length before she sat herself down at the salon.  Not quite short, but not quite long either, she told her stylist that she was interested in growing out her hair again, and so could she possibly cut it in such a way that it wasn't so – unruly, her stylist had asked, and she said she was thinking more along the lines of sticking up all over the place and a general mess, but unruly worked too.  And so her bangs had been trimmed towards the front, but the strands closest to her ears were left long.  The rest of her hair was evened out in the back, and when blown out, was a little longer than chin-length.   For the event, she tucked her hair behind her ears and set it in place with two rhinestone clips, finishing it off with half of the can of Aqua Net, praying against hope that it would stay in place for the duration.

The dress had been shortened, and the diagonal cut of the skirt immensely flattered her legs once it was at the right length, with the higher portion resting just above one knee.  With the extra material taken in on top, her chest and slender arms were accentuated perfectly by the strap slung only over her right shoulder (Jack had commented that one-shouldered dresses were all the rage this season).   She was afloat in thin layers of light blue chiffon and lace, blinking back curled lashes at a reflection that she didn't recognize.    

"You look wonderful, dear," gushed Bulma, eyes shining with excitement.  "Tonight is going to be GRAND!"

Videl continued to stare at the mirror.  "I only wish…"  She wouldn't cry now, not when Miya had spent over half an hour on her make-up, not when everyone depended on her to be strong.  But she was so tired, tired of pretending that she was above the sadness, above the loneliness.  The unshed tears burned at the back of her eyes.

The heiress' hands were gentle on her shoulders.  "Yes?"

"That my mother could see me."  No.  There's no crying before big dinner parties, Videl.  Stop it this instant.  

"She can," supplied a new voice, and both heads turned towards the doorway, where Gohan, looking immaculate in a black and white tux, leaned against the door frame.  Bulma gave him a two-fingered salute, and, after giving Videl a comforting smile and nod, she bit her retreat, mumbling something about Saiyans and Vegeta and never knowing how to get into formal wear without a brawl.

"Do you really think so?" Videl asked Gohan softly, turning her head to gaze at her reflection one last time.  

Gohan stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  "I do," he whispered in her ear.

She could have sworn her heart stopped beating.  "And what does she see?"

He gently removed his arms from around her and turned her around, facing him.  He raised a finger to a cheek, brushing away a stray tear that her resolve had somehow allowed past.  "She sees what I see.  Beauty.  Grace.  Light."  He cupped her cheek.  "You're shining, Videl."

She raised her head to him and he obligingly kiss her softly, once, and then twice, and then her hands came up to grasp him around the neck, and melt into his arms, where she would have been content to stay all night.  She realized how much she'd missed him over the past couple of hectic weeks, and wondered what exactly her life was like when Son Gohan wasn't in it.

Boring, she answered herself.

Kisses were becoming heated, touches more intimate and new, and it excited her.  She pressed herself more firmly against him and he moaned into her mouth, and she realized that she'd really, really missed him, and was that his hand on her leg?  Or, to be more specific, on her knee, and sliding slowly upwards?  _That_ was new.  And not, she thought, entirely unpleasant, either.

And then, from far away, she thought she heard someone clear a throat, and she found herself suddenly standing alone, Gohan clear across the room, his face the color of a ripe tomato.  How _did he get over there so fast?  Her own cheeks flushing, she turned towards the door where Vegeta stood in the exact spot Gohan had stood before, leaning against the doorframe._

"We're leaving in five minutes, with or without you two," he exposited, pulling at his bowtie.  It was apparent to Videl, even in her disheveled state, that Vegeta was not a happy camper in formalwear.  This seemed ironic to her, as his usual state of dress was always some sort of spandex and/or rayon, and wasn't that more constricting?  She was frantically trying to think of anything besides how Gohan's hands were on her a second ago, about how they made her feel.  Breathe, she reminded herself.  Breathe.

Argh.  Why didn't they lock the door?

"Okay," answered Gohan, his skin tone returning to its original color slowly but surely.  He, too, was reminding himself to breathe, all the while berating himself for so quickly giving into his most base desires.  Videl was just so radiant, standing there in front of the mirror, eyes bright with unshed tears and love and pain.  He was disappointed in himself, and gave himself another swift mental kick for his stupidity.

He planned to maintain a minimum distance of five feet between himself and Videl for the remainder of the night.

Vegeta glared at Videl and Gohan alternatively.  "Are you two waiting for a signed invitation?  There will more than enough time for your childish sexual explorations later when you have a FUCKING room."

Videl started, and Gohan nearly swallowed his tongue.  They had both, for a brief moment, forgotten that they, literally, had all night.  The Plaza Hotel providing rooms for all of the guests, in what Gohan guessed was an intelligent ploy to prevent the guests from driving home drunk.  As it were, he was going to need a healthy amount of alcohol himself to prevent from going absolutely crazy, with his hormones ranging and Videl in that DRESS – on second thought, alcohol would probably worsen the situation.

Videl finally cleared her throat and straightened out her dress.  With a determined look on her face, she grabbed her bag and index cards from the dresser, and forced herself to smile.  Vegeta would not break her, not on this night, and not on the subject of her sex life.  "Shall we go, oh date of mine?" she inquired of Gohan.  She would ask him about his strange behavior later, when he was locked in a hotel room with her and couldn't escape.  Truth be told, she was becoming a little tired of his hot and cold act; all over her one minute, pained to even be in the same room with her the next.   She couldn't worry about this, not when she had to worry about giving a speech, impressing a Board of Directors and trying not to trip over her own two feet.

Vegeta rolled his eyes.  "Pathetic."

"Where's your date, Vegeta?"  Gohan asked, his dark eyes round with innocence.

He groaned.   "Have you two eaten anything today?"

"No," answered Videl, at the same time Gohan said, "Not for a couple of hours, at least."

Vegeta nodded.  "Good.  Because my date is in the car.  And she's driving."

Videl closed her eyes, and reminded herself, inhale, then exhale.  Inhale, exhale.  Inhale, exhale, breathe darling, don't forget to breathe, when you're on stage, don't forget to breathe –

"And don't forget to breathe, darling,"  Megara instructed, getting down on one knee and lacing up Videl's shoes.  She had begged and pleaded for these shoes, the shoes that the dancers wore, which laced up the ankles and calves like ballet slippers.  "Pick out one person in the audience and play for them, Videl.  Like they're the only person in the world."

She nodded, taking deep breaths.  "Like Daddy?"

"Like Daddy," her mother replied with a smile.  From backstage, they heard the current performer finish up 'Winter' and now it was her turn.  She'd chosen Vivaldi's 'Spring' and, while not a difficult piece, per se, there was certainly a difference between playing for her parents in your living room and playing in front of a thousand people at Orange Star City's annual concert.  "But the most important thing is to feel the music.  Play with your heart, Videl, not your fingers.  When you play with your heart, you'll never make a mistake."

"Really?"

"Really.  Do your best, okay Videl?  No matter what happens, Daddy and I will always be proud of you."

She straightened her dress, kissed her mother on the cheek and stepped onto the stage.  The lights blinded her for a minute, and she squinted as she sat down at the piano bench, but she quickly adjusted and placed her music on the stand.  Her mother grinned at her and gave her their signal (two quick taps to the nose), winking.  

One year earlier, a small boy named Son Gohan landed on Namek and had a hand in defeating one of the cruelest tyrants ever known to walk the universe.  He had already known the pain of the loss of a parent, and will not be a stranger to it in years to pass.

But Videl Satan knew nothing of such a loss.  She knew nothing but the blood in her veins, her hands on the keys, and the music in her heart.  She knew nothing but the love of her mother, and they eyes of her father as the flowers bloomed, the birds flew overhead, and Orange Star was witness to the best rendition of 'Spring' played at a concert in over thirty years, let alone by a seven-year-old girl.

And then, when the love was taken from her, the song in her heart was painfully silent.

"After months of meticulous planning," she said, her eyes wandering down the dinner table to Gohan, "a form of flexible artificial intelligence was created, molded to fit the needs of the owner.  They learn; they listen; they get coffee."  They crowd laughed politely, and her smile shook as the lights from the various camera around the room stood to blind her.  But now it was only her and Gohan; he was her only audience.   "Technically, although Dr. Briefs insists on giving me full credit in the design, it was really her genius that allowed for the creation of the microchip that functions much like the human brain, receiving sensory information and building networks, enabling the robot to actually learn.  I also must give credit to our friends and family, who so generously let us borrow their… well… you'll see.  And so I am proud to present Capsule Corporation's newest line of artificial intelligence bots, the Assistant Bot!"

As Videl sat down, the line of robots entered the ballroom through one of the side doors.  Gohan almost choked on his salad, and Vegeta DID choke on his breadstick when they caught a glimpse of the prototypes.  Videl put a finger over her mouth to stop herself from laughing as Gohan stared, mouth ajar, at the robots that resembled himself, Vegeta, Goku, Chi-Chi, Krillin, Yamcha and Bulma herself.

"May I take your order?" the Bulma-bot asked Gohan, who was still unable to speak.

"Give me your order now," demanded the Vegeta-bot of one of the Board Members, who seemed thoroughly amused at the resemblance, "or I shall destroy you!"

Vegeta growled low in the general direction of Videl.  "You're going to die."

She leaned over the speechless Gohan.  "I asked you for your permission.  I specifically said, 'Vegeta, can I follow you around for awhile and tape record your voice for a project I'm working on?' and you replied, 'Just don't get in my way, brat.'"

The Gohan-bot had already taken twenty-three orders and was pestering the real Gohan for his own order.  "Nevermind," the robot said, in a perfect Gohan-like manner of exasperation, "I know what you want, anyway."

Vegeta considered banging his head against the table, especially when the Goku-bot and Vegeta-bot almost got into a fistfight, the Chi-Chi-bot subsequently bashed them both over the head with a frying pan.  The Yamcha-bot kept trying to grope the female Board members, and the Krillin-bot attempted to entertain the crowd with horrible jokes.  Apparently, Videl had followed them _all_ around, and, to his dismay, was right on target with most of the personalities.  

"Vegeta's face," Videl said, giving her order to the Gohan-bot, "was my reward for having to give that speech."

"You know," her boyfriend said good-naturedly, "you never asked ME if you could borrow my countenance for this little pet project."

"Miss Satan?" the Gohan-bot asked politely.  "If there is anything else you need, please let me know.  My function is only to serve you.  Your wish is at my command, my fair lady."

"Hey!" Gohan protested.  "Is that thing hitting on you?"

From across the table, Bulma snickered.  "Genuis.  Pure genius.  I should have programmed the Vegeta-bot to serve me.  All he says is, 'Get it yourself, you insufferable shrew.'"

Vegeta shook his head and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile.  "Whatever."

One of the senior Board Members cleared his throat and stood up, his wine glass in hand.  As the bots returned with the main course, he smiled at Videl and said, "On behalf of Capsule Corporation, we would like to congratulate Miss Videl Satan on her first complete project.  We know that she will be an invaluable asset in the years to come.  Cheers!"

Everyone raised their glasses, except Vegeta, who grumbled about having to be there in the first place.  "Cheers!"

"To you," said Gohan, tapping his glass against Videl's.

She smiled brightly at him.  "To us," she whispered.

Gohan gazed at her.  "To us," he repeated.  "Cheers."

"Well?" Bulma exclaimed.  "What is everyone waiting for?  LET'S PARTY!"

***

"That," she said, kicking in the hotel room door, "was horrid."

Gohan hid a smile as his girlfriend stalked over to the large bed in the middle of the lush room, threw herself upon it and smothered her face in the pillows.  "Firstly, it wasn't that bad.  Everyone was talking about you, and in a good way.  Secondly, you're ruining your dress."

Videl made a noise that sounded vaguely like humph, and straightened her dress over her hips to prevent wrinkles.  The action did not go unnoticed by Gohan, who felt his throat tighten up at the sheer… provocativeness… of it, if that was even a word.  "I'm never doing that again," she said, voice muffled by the pillows.  "Never EVER."

Gohan attempted to clear his throat and stared off to the left at a particularly pleasant Monet.  Knowing the hotel, it may have been an original.  _La Japonaise._  1876.  Supposedly in Boston, somewhere.  "You were the hit of the ball," he said, trying to retain some form of composure.  He almost lost it when she turned over, her elegant gown bunching up in quite interesting areas, and kicked off her shoes.  Dammit, he nearly _squeaked_.

"The only thing I wanted to hit was someone," said Videl, reaching down to rub her aching feet.  "Preferably Vegeta, but I don't think he would have appreciated such a thing.  It would have ruined his tuxedo.  And he's mad at me, anyway.  He doesn't seem to appreciate that I borrowed his attitude for my prototype."

"Here," he found himself saying, not quite of his own volition.  He walked over to the bed and sat beside her, removing her hands gently from her feet.  "Let me do that."

She flushed, a bit self-conscious, and again smoothed down her dress as she dropped her feet in his lap.  "Gohan the wonderboy.  Not only does he find the time to fight crime, save the world and study, he proves to be a fine escort, providing a pleasant atmosphere despite his date nearly having a nervous breakdown AND he does foot massages as well."  She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him.  "Is there anything you don't do-oooooooooohhhh," she trailed off.  

"It's a wonder I can find the time to go the bathroom," he joked, kneading her ailing skin.  His reward was pleasant sighs and near moans, though they were, in the end, going to drive him crazy.  AND make him take her feet off his lap.  

She moaned again as he managed to hit a particularly sensitive area, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from saying something or doing something very, very stupid.  Damn that Marker, making him realize how hormonal he really was.  He was doing fine in denial, thank you very much.  "Okay, okay," said Videl, removing her feet and stretching out.  Gah.  "I need to get out of his dress and into something comfortable before it gets any more wrinkled.  Unzip me?"  

Oh dear Lord, was she trying to kill him?  "E-eh?" he managed to choke out, reaching up to loosen his bowtie.  She was trying to kill him, wasn't she?  And if she wasn't trying… he didn't want to be around when she WAS.  

She turned her back towards him, her skirts fluttering around her legs and hips.  Gohan's eyes crossed neatly.  "The zipper.  Up there," she pointed in what she hoped was the general direction.  "I can't reach --" she trailed off, and turned her head, noting his unusual color.  "Are you okay?"

"F-fine," he managed, standing up behind her.  His hands shook as he reached for the zipper, and it took nearly three tries for him to get it right.  The zipper was invented by Whitcomb L. Judson in 1893, he recited to himself, trying very much not to concentrate on the silkiness of her skin, or the lace of the bra that peaked out from under her dress, or the curve of her neck, but they weren't considered practical until an improved version was developed by Gideon Sundback, a Swedish scientist.  Impractical, yes, very.  His fingers accidentally brushed against her shoulder, and he was forced to rely on baseball terms.  Outfield.  Infield.  Fastball.  Stolen base.  No, no, this is a very bad time to think of stealing bases.  Very.  Bad.

_Have you ever tried to take things further? _Marker had asked.

"Thanks," she said, and in a second, she had disappeared into the bathroom with her overnight bag and shut the door behind her.  He could only stare at the door as the minutes passed, wondering how much of this hormone stuff was normal.   "I'll be out soon."

"Take your time."

He dropped himself in the armchair by the mini-bar and put his head in his hands.  Either she didn't seem to notice his strange behavior, or she was just as clueless as he usually was.  Or, he entertained the possibility that she was just so used to it by now that she passed it off as normal, Gohan-like behavior.  Maybe he'd been trying for so long to be polite and proper and resisting his attraction to her that she'd given up on the possibility that things would _ever_ go any further.

It was then Gohan realized that he and Videl talked about a lot of things, but they'd never really _talked_.  They'd been together for almost three months and they'd yet to discuss… well… _anything_ about their relationship.  She seemed happy with the way things were, so he assumed that she was happy.   Wasn't that a safe assumption?

And today in the guest room…

He was jarred from his thoughts when Videl appeared in front of him out of nowhere, wearing a tight white tank top and black terry-cloth pajama pants.  She had scrubbed her face clean of the make-up she had been wearing, and her blue dress was folded neatly over her arm.  "Hey.  You can use the bathroom, Gohan."

"Thanks," he said wearily.  The confusion wracked his brain.  It was no use trying to figure out if she was happy or not, he was going to ask her.  As soon as he changed.  He grabbed the bag with his clothes in it and disappeared behind the bathroom door.  When he had finally taken off the constricting tuxedo and changed into more comfortable clothing, he opened the door to find Videl at the clothing rack by the side of the door, hanging up her dress.  

"Are you really okay?" she asked, not turning around.  "You're acting strangely, even for you."

_Even for you._

"Actually," he started, and trailed off.  He looked down as the carpet, and realized he had no idea what to say.  This time, he really, _really_ didn't want to sound like an idiot.  "I don't know," he said, finally.

"You don't know what?"

He was silent.  "I don't know… anything, apparently."

She turned around, her hands on her hips.  "Are you breaking up with me?"

He blinked at her.  "What?"

She stalked over to him, her eyes blazing with anger and brimming with tears.  "Are you breaking up with me?  Because if you are, just get it over with and we can save ourselves the extra drama.  I know something's up with you, Gohan.  Lately you've been more distant than you usually are, and less affectionate from the norm, which is scarce to begin with.  You've barely touched me in weeks; besides tonight's little escapade in a Capsule Corp. guest room, I could count the number of times you've kissed me on one hand in the last three days.  You could have fit the fucking Titanic in between us while we were dancing tonight."  She paused and turned away from him, and then, in a lower, sadder tone,  "If you don't want to be with me anymore, just say so."

"WHAT?!"

"Don't sound so shocked," she whispered.  His chest constricted at the sound of the pain in her voice.  She was in pain… because of _him_.

"I'm not breaking up with you!" Gohan was appalled at the notion.  "I just… and then there's… and there are all these hormones and…"

She turned around slowly, wiping away tears she'd somehow let escape.  "You're not… breaking up with me?"

Gohan forcibly shook his head.  "NO!  Absolutely not!"

"Then what is it?  It is something… isn't it?"  She raised her eyes to look at him, and noted the apprehension.  "You can tell me.  You can tell me anything."

He closed his eyes and dropped onto the bed.  He couldn't stand it when she looked at him that way, that unconditional love and support sort of way.  It made him feel guilty, and he hated feeling guilty.  "You might not want to hear this."  _I'm sorry Videl, I don't think I can keep my hands off you for another minute, especially when you look at me like the only person in the room.  And when you wear dresses like the one you were wearing tonight.  Hell, when you wear clothes.  When you BREATHE.  _"Probably not."

She sat down next to him on the bed and when he finally opened his eyes she asked, "Gohan… are you…?"

He waited.

"Are you…"

"Yes?"

She was apparently trying to suppress a smile.  "Are you pregnant, Gohan?  Because if you are… well… we _definitely_ need to discuss how that happened."

Gohan stared at her in amazement for a bit, and then, he smiled.  He caught the relieved look on her face as he did so, and allowed himself a chuckle despite the nervousness he was experiencing.  "I'm afraid so," he said seriously, taking her hands.  "Videl, you're going to be a daddy."

She smacked his chest playfully.  "The baby can't be mine, Gohan; I stand before you as pure as the Virgin Mary herself.  Tell me who the slut is so I can go beat her up, and subsequently end up on a trashy talk show, revealing my life story to millions of viewers."

He broke up into a huge grin.  "Virgin, thy name is Satan.  Son, also; I believe it was an immaculate conception."

"There," she said, satisfied, "there's the Son grin I'm used to.  Welcome back. Now, scoot over," she gestured towards her lap, and he rested his head against her legs.  She ran her fingers through his hair lightly.  "Now, tell me what's bothering you."

"You were really upset when you thought I was going to break up with you," he replied, eluding her.

"Yeah," she said softly.  "I was, wasn't I?  I always told myself that I wasn't going to let myself care about another person enough to risk getting hurt.  Look what it did to my father.  And then I met you, and you had to get under my skin right from the beginning.  Tall, dark and infuriatingly handsome."

"You hated me," he reminded her, enjoying the way her fingers were massaging his scalp.  "You wanted to beat me up.  Many times, if I recall."

"Defense mechanism?" she offered by way of explanation.

"Ever consider seeing a therapist?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Gohan.  Can we say, 'Mommy issues?'"

He smiled as she began tracing the contours of his face lightly with her fingertips.   "My issues fit very well with your own, Miss Videl."  He sobered, somewhat.  "I don't ever want to hurt you, Vi.  If you can take the risk of getting hurt by caring about me, the least I can do is make sure I'll never do anything to risk hurting you."

Her fingers traced the lines of his lips.  "I jumped to conclusions, as usual.  That was my fault."

"And I made you feel unwanted," he said, his lips brushing up against her fingers with the words.  "That was _my_ fault.  And it was completely unintentional."

"Then what _was_ it?"

"All kidding aside?"  He took a deep breath.  "A defense mechanism, I guess.  The more time I spend with you, the harder it is for me to…"

"To what?" Her fingers were on his neck now, drawing lazy circles.  He was suddenly very much aware of her proximity to him.

His breath hitched in his throat.  "To… to control the feelings I have for you.  To stop myself from… I don't know… I was raised a certain way, and you can joke about my issues with my mother all you want, but she instilled in me values and morals and…"  She was doing that one-eyebrow thing again, and he knew she was confused.  "I _want_ you, Videl.  Sometimes too much."

She stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds, and then, as if he could see the actual light bulb over her head, comprehension was plastered all over her face.  "So you're saying that you distanced yourself from me because you were scared that you wouldn't be able to _resist_ me?"  She was unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.  "_Me_?  Videl Satan, the world's plainest tomboy?"

In a second he was sitting up and his hands were on her face and hers dropped to her lap.  "Don't.  Don't even go there.  You _know_ how beautiful you are." 

She laughed and shook her head.  "Maybe you need glasses."

He looked her straight in the eye.  "Maybe YOU do.  But you're not just beautiful because you're attractive -- which you ARE," he emphasized at her disbelieving look, "but because… because your eyes light up the whole room when you laugh.  Because you never give up, even when it means putting yourself on the line.  Because you care so completely about everyone else, making sure everyone else is happy."  He kissed her softly.  "Because you care about me despite what a screw up I usually am."

She began to tear up again.  "Son Gohan, you better stop saying things like that before I throw myself at you."

He looked away.  "I… uh… probably wouldn't mind so much, actually."

"You really _are_ serious," she said incredulously.   She slid her hands around his neck.  "Okay.  I'm yours."

"WHAT?"  Gohan exclaimed, almost tossing her away from him.  "What are you saying, woman?!"

Videl couldn't help it; she snickered.  "Calm yourself, Gohan.  That's it, deep breaths."  She brushed his bangs from his eyes.  "Don't worry.  We're not going to have _sex_ or anything.  A few pretty words can't buy my virginity, sorry."

"Gah."

"Be serious," she scolded.

He looked pained.  "You're practically sitting on top of me, talking about throwing yourself at me and having, or not having, sex, and you expect me to be _serious_?"

"Do you _want_ to have sex, Gohan?"

"NO!" he practically screeched.  "I mean… no as in not right _now,_ not no is in _never_.  I do _want_ to, eventually, " boy, did he wish she wasn't looking at him that way, "with you, of course.  I mean... not of course, as in of course it'll definitely happen or anything, not that I would mind, in the future, when we're both a little more comfortable with each other in that way… I mean, only if you want to be… and only if you want to… and… and I'm really in deep now, aren't I?"

Her shoulders shook and she bit her lip from laughing out loud.  "So, let's recap.  You're not breaking up with me."

"No."

"And you don't want to have sex with me."

"Er… kinda.  I do, but…"

"Alright, let's not going down that road again.  I don't think we're ready for that step either, if you were wondering," she commented lightly, playing with the edge of his t-shirt.  She bit her bottom lip.  "Put your arms up, Gohan."

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow.  "Why?"

"Come on," she urged him.  "Before I lose my nerve."  He raised his arms obediently, and she pulled his shirt over his head.  If she looked self-conscious, it was nothing compared to way he felt.  It wasn't as if she'd never seen him without his shirt on before but somehow… this was completely different.  This was… well… it was blatantly…. _sexual_.  

Videl felt herself redden.  But she started it, and she was going to follow through.  Isn't that what he'd said to her before?  __

_Because you never give up…_

She touched his chest softly, pushing him down onto the bed.  He gaped at her forwardness, how… responsive she was.  Frankly, he'd expected her to run from the room the minute he told her what was really bothering him.  But instead she was climbing on top of him, and kissing him.  Kissing him so softly as if to say, "Everything is fine.  Everything will be alright, for sure."

And then she was kissing him harder, longer, with more passion and desire.  He was on fire as she pressed herself against him, as she ran her fingers through his hair.   They were both breathless as he pulled away to flip them over, as Videl landed underneath him, her dark hair painting the white pillowcases.

Rob Thomas sang in his head, _beautiful girl, bless your heart._

"It just occurred to me," she said, in a husky tone that made him feel lightheaded (this is probably because, his inner Vegeta reminded him, all of your blood is currently heading south of the border like birds in winter), "that this is the first time we've been alone in quite some time.  No meddling mothers with glasses to the door, no unexpected interruptions, no ki blasts, Super Saiyans, Satanic Saiyan Spawn…"

He began to kiss her neck softly.  "Mmhm," he agreed.   He kissed her collar bone as his fingers explored the exposed skin that her tank-top didn't cover.  "I don't want us to be just about this," he said, as he buried his head into her neck.  "I don't want it to become all encompassing."

_I can't live without you; tell me what I am supposed to do about it…_

"We can be about this too," she whispered, running her hands up and down his bare back, feeling the tight muscles underneath her fingertips, feeling the way he was shaking with… nerves?  Anticipation?  She didn't know.  "We can be everything," she added softly.  "Anything."

He was suddenly very aware of his hands, which, almost without him knowing, had inched up Videl's perfectly sculpted abdomen and rested just below the underwire of her bra.  He felt dizzy.  "You have no idea what you to me," he whispered in a low tone, tracing the lace with his fingertips.

"I have some idea," she replied, instinctively arching into his touch, her hands grasping him tightly.  She closed her eyes.  "For example, there's ample evidence brushing against my thigh – "

If she wasn't holding him so tightly, he definitely would have been SO out of there.  As it were, he was still about to die of embarrassment.  "Videl!"

She blinked prettily up at him.  "Yes?"

He blushed furiously.  "There's no need to be vulgar."

"Just stating the obvious," she said, kissing him.  "The extremely obvious."

Gohan practically glowed in the dark.  "Is it fun to mortify me?  I would really like to know, because it seems to be the habit of every person I know, and I was just wondering if it really racks up that many entertainment points."

"Gohan, it's _flattering," she emphasized, and removed his hands from under her shirt.  "Now, go lock the door and turn off the light."_

He seemed pained at the separation of his hands from her skin, but walked (somewhat awkwardly) over to lock the door.  As a second thought, he stuck the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the front handle, and stuck the desk chair under the knob.  And nearly ki blasted the lock to meld it closed, but thought better of it, in the end.  "Just… er… in case," he explained, though she never asked the question.  He flipped off the light switch and got back into the bed, where Videl was waiting underneath the covers.  Did that mean she didn't want to… um… continue?  Because he wanted to.

He _really wanted to._

He sighed, and decided that if she really only wanted to sleep, he would be okay with that.  He wasn't going to push.  But at least now he knew that if he wanted to nudge a little, that wouldn't be a problem with her.  He got under the covers himself and pulled her to his chest.

That's when he noticed.  

"Um, Videl?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did your tank top go?"

"Over there somewhere."

"Oh.  I see."

Silence.  And then.

 "And your bra?"

"I flung it somewhere, I think it may have landed on the lampshade."

"Oh.  I see."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Actually, I don't really feel like talking anymore."

"Oh?  Oh…. OOOOH."

"Do _you see?"_

"Oh, YES."

_Every little thing you do is tragic, all my life, oh was magic; Beautiful girl, I can't breathe…_

_***_

**-Next Time-:**  **Chapter 15: Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in College Acceptances**

Videl, Gohan, Marker, Erasa and even Sharpner are all accepted to the prestigious Tokyo University. Yay! Everyone's happy. Well, everyone except Vegeta. What will Vegeta do without his prize student to beat up every day? Demand she not go to college, of COURSE!   
And when Gohan is predictably accepted to VU, how will he hide the news from his girlfriend?  On the play front, Lillia and Erasa devise a scheme to con Videl into taking the role of Phe.  Will they succeed?__


	16. Misadventures in College Acceptances

**-About Misadventures-:**  The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z.   However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a horrible job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things.  But anyway).   Common housewife, humph.  We don't think so. From there, Misadventures has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done this and that with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist.  But you already knew that. 

**-Mailing List-:**  If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject:  Mailing List.  Or you can go to our website and sign up there.  Your name will be added to our ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

**-Disclaimer-:   ***DA Vegeta from **Law and Disorder** walks briskly onto the stage, straightening his tie*  Title 17, Chapter 5, Section 501 of the United States Legislative Code states that,  "Anyone who violates any of the exclusive rights of the copyright owner as provided by sections 106 through 121… is an infringer of the copyright or right of the author, as the case may be…  As used in this subsection, the term ''anyone'' includes any State, any instrumentality of a State, and any officer or employee of a State or instrumentality of a State acting in his or her official capacity."  *DA Vegeta clears his throat*  Ilana and Keryn are merely borrowing the characters belonging to Toriyama, et al., and, since no profit is being generated from such a loan, they ask to please refrain from taking legal action against them pertaining to said legislative code.  And if you decide to take such an action, I'll be forced to destroy you.  That is all.  *Walks off the stage*  
          Ilana:  *sighs*  Why bother with the law degree at all?  
          Keryn:  'Cause he makes death sound so eloquent!  Doesn't he?

**Ilana's Pet Project-:**  For some strange reason, FF.N will NOT let me show you guys a link to our webpage.  This makes me a very, very angry bunny.   So, check out CCS Angel00's profile and follow her homepage link.  There, under the Showcase option, you will also find a copy of the script for the showcase, which should help you follow along in this chapter.  GRRR.  I am not a happy bunny.

**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
By** CCS Angel00 and Absolut Angel  
**Brought to you by:  ***sings offkey*Waves and Rocks  
  


--------------------  
**Chapter 15: **Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in College Acceptances  
--------------------

Videl Satan was having a very nice dream, a nice dream indeed.  She was sitting in English class and was, without incident, absorbing the rules pertaining to the subjunctive tense ("If she _were_ coming, she would be here by now.").  She had already been called on twice and demonstrated her prowess in the difficult language, impressing even Gohan, who was staring at her with unbridled adoration.

And then there was an abrupt scene transition (as usually the case in dreams) and she and Gohan were chasing after two female criminals attempting to pilfer money from an armored truck.   Amidst the chaos and the incessant ringing alarm coming from Satan National Bank, Gohan was able to disarm the perpetrators and she had them cuffed before any bystander knew what had happened.  Standing by an erupted fire hydrant (which the hijacked truck had crashed into, upon seeing the Great Saiyaman standing directly in their path), he took her into his arms, right there, under the frigid water.

"Gohan!"

But then his lips were on hers, and she didn't care about the ringing or the water.  It was only him, and his hands and arms, and his kindness and sincerity and…

"Videl," he said, pulling away from the kiss.  "Have I ever told you…"

She looked at him sideways.  "Told me what?"

"How much I love you?"

"Oh, Gohan," she breathed.  The world had stopped spinning and there was a calmness within her that she never knew existed.  "I wish I were awake."

_Nice use of the correct subjunctive, Videl_, her English professor whispered in the background, against the sound of the water hitting the pavement.

"I wish you would say that you loved me too," he whispered against her lips.

"I do love you," she confessed without thinking, and her heart lurched in such a way that she knew that it was true, it had been true all along (well maybe not all along, but at least three-quarters of the way, barring those first couple of tension-filled days) and, somehow, he had broken through her defenses.

She allowed herself to care.  To love.  

She wondered if she would be able to tell him when she wasn't dreaming.

He took her hands and threaded his fingers with hers.  "We'll heal together, Videl."

"Yes," she said, resolutely.  "We will heal together."

There was a blinding light, and she had to put her other hand up in front of her eyes to shield them.  She squinted her eyes shut, and kept them shut, and soon, when the light rescinded, she slowly opened them again.  _Oh_, she thought, looking up at the hotel room ceiling.  _It really was__ just a dream._

And apparently, it was time to wake up.  The phone was ringing, and from the blinking 9:04am on the clock on the nightstand, Videl surmised it was their wake up call.  She carefully extracted herself from Gohan's arms (which had, at some point during the night, latched onto her as if she were a lifeboat and he were drowning, but she had no complaints) and reached over to answer.  "Hello?" she whispered, her voice still full of sleep.  She cleared her throat and repeated, "Hello?"

"This is your nine am wakeup call!" a voice entirely too chipper for an early Saturday morning assaulted her.  

Videl groaned inwardly and grinded her teeth.  "Thanks."

"Checkout is at ten, so please kindly be ready by then!"

"No problem," she assured, and gently hung the phone back up.   She flopped back down onto the pillows and pulled the covers back over her.  She was, in a word, completely exhausted.  She and Gohan hadn't fallen asleep until at least five, enjoying each other's company and the privacy the hotel room afforded.  She felt herself flush thinking about it, and turned over to climb back into Gohan's arms.

The darkest eyes she'd ever seen, cloudy with sleep, stared back at her.  "Hey there," he whispered, and she felt shivers rush down her back at his voice, deep and sexy with that morning scratchiness.

She smiled against the pillow.  "Morning."

"Pressing phone call?" he asked, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"The hotel is kicking us out," she revealed, stretching.  She grinned, noting the way his eyes followed her motions, though most of her body was hidden underneath _his t-shirt and the blankets.  "What?"_

She smiled as his cheeks turned pink.  He turned over on his back and rested his hands under his head, suddenly taking a serious interest in the tiles on the ceiling.  "Nothing."  

Videl chuckled.  "Even after last night, you're still going to be embarrassed about all this stuff, aren't you?"

He turned again, and, without warning, grabbed Videl and pulled her on top of him.  She yelped, and braced herself on his bare chest with her hands, straddling his hips.  "Maybe," he leered, "I just need a little practice.  You know," he added, resting his hands on her thighs, "to get used to the whole thing."

She could help herself; she blushed fiercely.  "Well… you know… it's just that… aw, hell, stop LOOKING at me like that!"

"Like what?" he asked amusedly.  

"Like you're going to bust a gut any second and call me a hypocrite for being embarrassed about it myself…"

"Actually," he said, his hands inching upwards, "I was planning on ravaging you, but if you'd rather me laugh instead, well, I guess that could be arranged."

Videl stared at him, gaping.  "Maybe you're not as embarrassed about it as I thought."

"Oh, I am.  I just hide it well," the teenage Saiyan replied, grinning.  "Now, come here so we can begin said ravaging."  He placed a gently hand to her cheek and guided her down to him, tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear and tracing her jaw with his thumb before reaching up to touch his lips to hers –

But before any actual kissing could begin (her lips were literally centimeters from his) there was a THUNDEROUS knock on the door.  Gohan and Videl merely looked at each other, an identical look of comprehension on their faces.  "Vegeta," they said in unison.

"Have I ever told you about Vegeta's Law?" Videl asked Gohan seriously, as the knocking continued rampantly.  "About how, in our lives, it replaces Murphy's?"

"You think so?" he replied, clearly thinking about it, even as Vegeta started screaming from the other side of the door to get ready and be downstairs in two minutes, minimum, or he would blast the door down.  "I always thought they worked together."

Videl nodded.  "You're probably right.   Vegeta's a big fan of, 'Life's a bitch and then you die.  Repeatedly.'"

"And 'Don't bother smiling . . . tomorrow will be worse.'"

"And 'Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse… especially when a women is involved.'"

"And 'Nice guys finish last, so why bother them letting them race to begin with?'"

Videl grinned.   "Oooh, good one!  Although… Vegeta isn't really a team player.  Maybe he just destroyed Murphy."

"Maybe it was an imperialist sort of takeover," Gohan reasoned.  "You know, the bigger force of destruction taking over the smaller force?"

Videl pursed her lips together.  "Do those forces add after such a takeover?  Or do they cancel out?"

There was suddenly a terrible explosion.  Videl instinctively buried her head in her hands, and Gohan's arms came up to cradle her to him.   The door flew off the hinges, propelling the chair that had been propped up against it to go careening into the far wall, and shattered into a million pieces.  A satisfied looking Vegeta stood in the empty doorway, palm flat in front of him.  "Murphy," he said, clearly amused, "is my bitch.  And don't ever forget it."

***

He deflected her kick easily, sending her flying into the back wall.  She managed to stop herself from hitting the steel barrier, instead, bracing herself off the wall, she flew back at him, offering mind-numbingly swift punches in retaliation.   He dodged each easily, not even bothering to put his hands up to pretend that he was blocking, and it was so infuriatingly mocking that she almost slapped him between two of her punches.

He grabbed her wrist so quickly that before a thought could process, she was flat on her back, on the floor of the gravity chamber, struggling to catch her breath.  Each inhalation burned her lungs with sweet oxygen, as if, in the last hour, she had forgotten to breathe.   She closed her eyes and just lay there, noting the pain in her wrist was already dimming, and the stars swimming behind her eyelids were fading.

"Get up," Vegeta commanded, looming over her like Death.  "We're not finished."

She tightened her shoulders and stood, and though she was remarkably beaten, she would not give in.  She wiped blood from her nose, and reached behind her to tighten the haphazard and loose ponytail she'd managed that morning.  It had taken over a dozen clips and the last of the Aqua Net, but her short hair had found its way into the rubber restraint, not that it mattered now.

She took the ready stance and braced herself for whatever attack Vegeta had in store for her.  He had suggested this "spar" to gauge her skills, whatever that meant, considering the standards Vegeta had to be measuring her up against.   She would find herself comfortable in the offensive (she even almost managed to get a punch in, once, almost, kind of, but only because her unfamiliar fighting style and particular combination of attacks sort of, kind of took him by surprise for about half a second, until he blocked it with the two forefingers of his _left_ hand, that bastard) when he would charge at her, forcing her to put up a fierce defensive front that provided as much of a shield as mosquito netting for a cannonball.  

The sweat poured down her face as he launched a terrific attack, coming at her at a blinding speed.  She deflected one or two of his punches, nearly breaking her damn wrists in the process, and, then, something clicked in her brain as – and it was very strange to experience and even harder to explain – the air around her _shifted and she instinctively knew to cross her arms over her chest to guard his kick._

Videl toppled over and landed on the floor once again, but she was grinning.   The satisfaction overrode her pain.  "Remember how you said," she said, with difficulty, as her lungs were still exploding with flames, "that I should be able to feel your moves before they land?"

"Hn?" he asked, looking at her disdainfully.

"I _felt_ that one.  I really did!"

"One out of a thousand isn't going to do you any good in a real fight," he told her.

"Against a Saiyan," she murmured, but then louder: "That's what you're here for, teacher of mine.  So?  How'd I do?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes.  "Predictably pathetic," he chastised, grabbing a towel, "although not entirely horrible.   Your defensive maneuvers are fair, though without _ki_ manipulation, your offense is lacking." 

She jumped up excitedly, a smile as wide as her face would allow.  "'Not entirely horrible', eh?" Videl repeated, reaching for the water bottle behind her.  "That sounds almost encouraging."

"Your determination almost makes up for you lack of concentration."

"I do TOO concentrate," she nearly whined, taking a swig of the water.  

Vegeta smirked, turning his attention towards the control panel.  He called up some sort of program and began to type.  "So you can tell me honestly that in the past hour, you haven't thought of Gohan at least once?"

Videl had the grace to blush; it had been only four days since the Capsule Corp. dinner and the events still reeled in her mind.  She and Gohan had been practically inseparable since then, enforcing her belief that their relationship had been strengthened and a new closeness had been forged by what had happened on Friday night.  Of course, a part of it was hormonal (they were, after all, teenagers in their first serious relationship, and _everything_ was new) but, more importantly, what they had done fortified the bond of trust and intimacy that they shared.  

"It was twice in two days that I found the two of you all over each other," Vegeta remarked, wryly.  "If I didn't know better – which I do, because I know Kakkarot's son – but if I didn't, I would be compelled to assume that you two were fucking."

She tried to stop herself – she really did – but she spit her water all over the floor of the gravity room and, coughing violently.  "Holy shit, Vegeta.  Not while I'm drinking!"

Vegeta tried grandly to hide the amusement flickering across his face.  He really shouldn't, after all, be taking such pleasure in the suffering of his new student.

Wait a minute.

What the hell was he thinking?

That was his JOB.

Videl felt her face flush so intensely she thought her hair would singe.  "I did NOT have sex with Gohan!"  She fumed, she raged, she BURNED.  "Not that it's any of your business, Vegeta!"

He stalked over to her and grabbed her arm.  "Listen to me, GIRL.  While I'm training you, everything you do is MY BUSINESS.  EVERYTHING.  As far as you're concerned, as long as you dedicate yourself to the art and to me, I OWN YOU."  His fingers were digging into her flesh, and she grimaced in pain, but she said nothing.  "And, as far as the brat is concerned, while I'd rather you not see him at all, as I doubt he is a distraction you are able to afford, it would be impossible for me to stop you.  But think long and hard about exploring a sexual relationship with him; a pregnancy is definitely not a distraction you can afford."

Videl wrenched her arm back from Vegeta.  He owned her.  RIGHT.  "What, do you think I'm stupid or something?"

"No," he replied, a little too quickly.  "Not stupid.  Blinded.  It's easy to make mistakes when you're distracted by this emotional nonsense." 

Videl thought about it, and lowered her head.  "I am dedicated to this training, Vegeta.  I would never do anything to jeopardize my future as a fighter, but I would never do anything to jeopardize my future with Gohan, either."  She paused, unable to voice her next thought exactly the way she wasn't to.  She wasn't even sure she _wanted to.  "I… um…  Gohan and I… we're not _rushing_ anything."_

An uncomfortable silence followed, causing Videl to stare mostly at her shoes, and the walls, and at the door.  Anywhere but Vegeta, who was still typing away on that console.  The only sounds present we those of his fingers hitting the keys until he said, "Go ahead.  I know you want to ask, and I can't promise I will answer, but you may ask."

How did he know about the question that was burning at the corner of her mind?  Saiyans weren't psychic, as far as she knew.  So… how did Vegeta always know?  "It probably isn't any of my business," she pointed out, nervously biting on the cap of the water bottle.  She shuffled her feet, thankful that she had something to think about rather than the throbbing pain in the right wrist and bruises that were probably taking shape all over her body as they spoke.

"It probably isn't," said Vegeta, dryly.  He finished whatever he was typing -- probably logging their session, or whatever, to mark her progress -- and turned to her.  He looked at her in a sort of curious manner.  "I applaud your restraint for not asking before this."

She wrinkled her nose.  "I'm not _that_ intrusive."

"Liar."

Videl coughed and shifted her eyes sideways.  "So, do you?  Regret it, I mean."

He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I often ask myself the same question, you know.  This certainly isn't the kind of life I would have imagined leading.  On my home planet, it is -- _was_ -- practically blasphemous to create familial and emotional ties, especially for royalty.  The idea was appalling to me, probably even after Trunks was born."

"I sense a 'but' coming," Videl said wisely.  

"I had always considered myself an elite warrior," he said, ignoring her. "It infuriated me that Kakkarot could do things I couldn't; he was comfortable on this inferior planet, comfortable with his emotions.  I was never, and probably will never be, comfortable with any emotion other than anger," Vegeta revealed, leaning against the console.  "I was angry at him, at myself.  I wanted to be the best, to be invincible, to be revered and honored as the royalty I was.

"I do not regret things that happened between myself and Bulma;  somehow, though I cannot tell you exactly, I know she is directly related my ascension to Super Saiyan.  I do not regret falling into this pattern, this family, and I do not regret forming familial ties.  Strength," he concluded, "often has to do with the faith others have in you."

Videl raised an eyebrow.  "You do regret something, Vegeta.  I can see you're not telling me everything."

Vegeta was silent, and Videl had to wonder if she'd stepped over the line.  "I regret not knowing what I could have been if Frieza hadn't annihilated my people," he said, finally.  "I would have led great people.  I would have done great things"

She thought, and then smiled softly, remembering what Bulma and the others had said about Vegeta's involvement since relinquishing his "bad guy" status.  Despite his crippling pride and his almost obsessive need to prove himself, he had a hand in saving this "mud ball" of a planet no less than half a dozen times, and, in fighting Buu, had sacrificed his own life so that his family and friends could live in peace. 

Videl walked over to him, and reached up to put a tentative hand on his shoulder.  He glared at her, but she ignored him.  "I don't think you've done so bad for yourself, Vegeta," she said, removing her hand and punching in the exit code on the door console.  It slid open, and she stepped out.  Without turning around, she put her hand up to wave goodbye and added, "This was fun, oh Master of mine.  I'll be back tomorrow, and it won't be as easy to kick the crap out of me."

"Right," he scoffed, but inside, he was smiling.  

***

After flying quickly back to Satan City, Videl retreated into her house and showered and changed.  Though it was still fairly warm, Videl pulled on a three-quarter sleeve cotton shirt and jeans, not wanting to set off Gohan if he saw her bruises.  And she had many.  Trailing up her arms and down her legs, and a nice, big, black and blue along her stomach to match a bruised rib or two.  She groaned, trying to put her jacket on.  Or five, she amended, giving up on the jacket.

With one last glance in the mirror, she grabbed her school bag and pounded down the two flights of stairs, coming to a skidding halt in the dining room.  She couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face as she peeked into the kitchen and spied Son Gohan, boyfriend extraordinaire, helping Miya prepare breakfast.

"How do you like your eggs, Gohan?" her surrogate mother was asking, nearly juggling pans of bacon, eggs and sausage.  

"You don't have to make me --" he started, heat flooding his cheeks.

"Scrambled with cheese," Videl supplied, walking in.  "Only, the way Gohan likes them, the dish should really be called, 'A pound of melted cheese and a lonely egg, drowning.'" 

"Lots of cheese, less egg," Miya translated, grinning.  "And sunny-side up for you, dear?"

Gohan, in the middle of kissing her on the cheek hello, smirked.  He pulled back and said, "With five slices of toast; two with cream cheese and three with butter, salted."

Videl frowned, dropping down at the kitchen table.  "There's nothing strange about that, Gohan.  It's --"

"-- cream cheese for eating and butter for dipping," they said together, Gohan imitating Videl perfectly.  

"And God forbid the yolk runs.  The girl nearly has a coronary," Gohan added, unable to stop himself from laughing.  Her glare was piercing and he raised his hands as he sat down in the chair beside her.  "Okay, okay, I'm just messing around.  I'm sorry."

Miya chuckled from the stove.  "You two sound like an old married couple," she admonished, placing their breakfasts in front of them. 

"You better make me eggs when I'm old and gray," Videl poked Gohan with her fork.

Gohan put his hand over his heart.  "I'll make you eggs until my dying day, Videl."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"We'll have to change our wedding vows though," he said, laughing.  "'For better or worse, in sickness and in health, even if the yolks are runny…'"

Videl couldn't help it; she smiled.  "See if I say, 'I do,'" she joked, and though she knew he wasn't being serious, the thought of exchanging vows with Gohan was causing her stomach to do funny things.  _I wonder_, she thought, stealing a glance at him over the newspaper she'd picked up, _if he ever thinks about stuff like that_.  

Gohan peered over her shoulder at the Satan Sun.  "Is that an article about the Showcase?"

"It's just a local interest piece," Videl replied, dipping a slice of toast into the yolk of her sunny side up eggs.  

He looked nervous.  "I don't know about this, Videl… acting and singing, it's all new to me."

"You're good at it," she assured him, putting the paper down.  "Better than good.  Great even."

"Do you think you could read some lines with me during lunch?  I'm a little bit nervous about today's rehearsal."

His girlfriend bit into her toast.  "You should read with Erasa.  She _is_ your co-lead."

"I hate to say this, but she's a bit lacking in the acting department," he said, finishing up his eggs.  "I'd rather take cues from someone who knew what she was doing.  Like you."

Videl stood up, wiping her hands on a napkin.  "I'll think about it."  The young fighter walked over to Miya, and kissed her on the cheek.  "Thanks for breakfast, Miya."

"Yeah, thanks," Gohan echoed, staring strangely at the large, white refrigerator that stood against the far wall.  He blinked, then, tilting his head again, blinked again.  "Videl…"

"Hm?"

Gohan plucked a small decorated postcard from the fridge from under the alphabet magnets and took a close look at it.  A gorgeous body of water intimately touched sandy beaches, complete with palm trees and colorful flora.  Rolling green hills painted the background under a stunning, cloudless blue sky.  "Port du ferry à Moorea," he read the caption with a decent French accent though the last time she checked, Gohan was taking Spanish as a foreign language.   When she looked at him with interest, he clarified, "Tahiti."

"I know, I've been there," she said.  "Daddy and I vacationed there once."

"Who's sending you postcards from Tahiti?" he asked, but he was turning it over even as he asked the question.  "'Dear Satan and Miss Videl.  Am having great time in Tahiti.  Pretty ladies like to give me flowers.  Food is excellent.  Wish you were here!  Love, Buu.'"  Gohan's eyebrows shot straight up into the air.  "Videl?"

"He was getting tired of following Daddy on those silly book tours, so Daddy sent him on vacation," Videl explained, as if it were the simplest thing in the world to understand.  She picked up her bag.  "Come on.  We're going to be late."

Gohan shook his head and placed the postcard back onto the fridge.  "So your father sent Majin Buu to French Polynesia _alone_?"

"No.  He took the dog."

"I think I might stop trying to figure out your family," said Gohan.

"Might as well," Videl said, practically pulling him out of the door and into her car.  "Cause I stopped trying to figure out yours ages ago."

*

Videl and Lillia waited patiently for Erasa to emerge from the backstage dressing room.  In order to help her ease into the gothic persona that was Phe Montague, Videl had suggested that Erasa bring dark colored clothes and makeup to rehearsal on the off chance that _looking_ like her character would improve her _acting_ of the character.

Videl heard Erasa stomp down on the wooden floor with a heavy boot.  "I refuse to come out!"

"Why?" asked Lillia, looking wearily behind her where the rest of the cast was also waiting for Erasa to come out.   Sharpner was dozing off, arms across his chest and drool starting to form at the side of his mouth and next to him, Marker was flipping through a brochure for the University of Tokyo.  Behind them, Gohan was fanning himself with his script and crouching low in his seat, presumably trying to hide from Angela, who, after finding out that she had been cast in the play, had been following him around like a lost puppy, much to Videl's consternation.  Videl would never admit it, but the love struck, red-haired teeny-bopper, the one who supposedly had given up on Gohan ages and ages ago, was really getting on her nerves.  

But not as much as Erasa, who wouldn't even DRESS that part of the role she'd been cast.  

Videl grinded her teeth.  "Erasa, we just don't have time for this.  We need to go over the first scene today, and that's not going to happen unless you're ON STAGE!"

"I'm not even in the first part of the first scene!" she shot back, her voice muffled by… something.  Videl didn't even want to know.  "Do it without me!"

"Fine!" she snapped, turning around to the lounging cast.   "Marker!  Angela!  Get your asses on the stage now!  And everyone else in scene one!  Sharpner, you too."

Marker nearly dropped what he was reading, but Gohan looked entirely too grateful for the interruption, as Angela had been inching so close to him that she was nearly in his lap.  As Marker and Angela straightened and made their way to the stage (followed eventually by Sharpner, but only after Gohan had to wake him up by smacking him with his calculus textbook), Gohan quietly slid into the seat next to Videl in the front row.

"I can try to coax Erasa out," he offered, noting the seriously perturbed look on his girlfriend's face.  "She may just need a little encouragement."

The stagehands finished setting up tables and chairs for the cast and scrambled off the stage.  The members of the chorus and Marker dropped down onto the chairs while Angela twiddled her thumbs, stage left.  "Or a kick in the ass," Videl muttered under her breath.  As Gohan suppressed a laugh, Videl instructed, "Go."

Gohan saluted her.  "Yes, ma'am."

"Alright, we're on page two of our scripts," Lillia was saying, flipping through her own script.  "The curtain will rise to reveal a café where Gaston and his friends are eating.  Kat works there, and she enters on roller skates."  Lillia looked thoughtful.  "You can roller skate, can't you Angela?"

The younger girl snapped her attention towards her director.  "O-of course!" she stammered, giggling nervously.  "I can also roller blade, ice skate, and -- "

"As long as you can just get around this stage on a pair of roller skates, it's fine," said Videl dryly.  "While Gohan attempts to convince Marilyn to take the stage, let's do a dry run of the first scene."  Her hand hovered over the play button on the CD player.  "Ready?"

"Videl!  Oh, Videl!" Videl's hand stiffened over the button. What on earth had she done to deserve such punishment? She couldn't take much more; she was only human after all. It was times like this that made her wish she had taken her chances with the accursed tofurkey. "Viiiiidel!" Goten and Trunks ran down the auditorium aisle, bouncing next to Videl. "Hi Videl!"

Videl controlled herself from snapping at the littlest Son. "Hello, boys. What are you two doing here?" Her voice was deceptively calm.

"Well, we had nothing better to do so…" Trunks shrugged, his gaze falling on the large, velvet curtains. "Hey Goten, I bet I can climb that faster than you!"

"No way! You're on!" Goten giggled and followed his friend on the stage, ignoring Videl's weak protests.

Maybe Videl had been spending too much time with Vegeta, but had her left eyebrow just twitched? Why did she feel the urge to kill and kill some more? Sharpner had fallen back asleep, she noted, her right eyebrow also starting to twinge a bit. "Erasa, please come out. We all look silly doing this for the first time," Videl heard Gohan soothe.

"So you're saying I look SILLY?! I AM _SO_ NOT COMING OUT NOW!!!"

"No, that's not what I—argh. Why me?"

Videl also noted Angela was getting very close to Gohan whenever they were in the same room together. She was touching him. Videl did not appreciate this. Why was this pre-pubescent loony touching her boyfriend? Why wouldn't Erasa come out? Why were Goten and Trunks still climbing up the curtains like a bunch of monkeys on acid? And WHEN exactly, did Sharpner become narcoleptic? The more she thought about the noise and chaos that was most certainly not practicing, the more her eyebrows continued to twitch. 

Something had to be done. 

Videl stood up on her chair, put her fingers in her mouth and gave the most piercing whistle she could manage. Every stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to her. "OKAY GOHAN, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! WE TRIED THIS 'BEING NICE' CRAP, BUT DO YOU SEE WHERE THAT HAS GOTTEN US?" Videl screamed at the top of her lungs and man, did it feel good. And she wasn't done. Oh no, not by a long shot. "Now we do things MY WAY AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH WE STUCK TO NICE. Erasa, if you don't get your ass out of that room, I'm going to get you out MYSELF and you _don't_ want that. Someone wake Sharpner up before I zap him with my stun gun and before anyone asks if I have one, do you _really_ want to find out? Goten, Trunks, I love you children to death but if you don't get your hyper butts out of here in two seconds, I will call your mothers and you will NEVER EAT FOOD AGAIN." 

Wow, this has been building up for a long time. She needed to do this more often. 

"And Angela, if you don't get your boyfriend-stealing hands off of Gohan's ass, I will break every bone in your body one by one. If all of these demands don't get fulfilled in ten seconds, I WILL KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! AND I'LL GET AWAY WITH IT! BECAUSE I AM GOOD! SO I BETTER SEE SOME MOVING OR HEADS. WILL. **_ROLL_**!!!"

Everyone was silent, still frozen in position.

"Don't make me have to say it twice," she said in a low, dark voice. "Ten…"

No sooner then she had started her countdown had Goten and Trunks left, Angela gave Gohan some room, and Sharpner was wide awake and on stage with Marker. Everything was back to order. Nice, quiet, calm, order. _Maybe I should have asked for a cup of coffee while I was at it. _

"Thank you," Videl said in a very calm, tired voice. "But where is Erasa?"

"NOT COMING OUT!!!"

Gohan prayed for Erasa. He liked her, she was a nice girl, but there was no way Videl was going to let her live. It was as simple as that. Everyone backed away from the dressing room and scurried to the back of the auditorium before facing Videl's wrath. 

New tactic, Videl decided. Erasa was used to her anger. She would need something better, more efficient. She collapsed on the ground abruptly, her head muffled in her arms that were crossed to keep her from talking to the floor. "Okay," she said in a quiet, defeated voice. "I give up."

"Videl…" Gohan wondered if he should go help her and risk getting his head bitten off, or wait here and see what would happen. He knew her tricks well enough -- she had picked up quite a few from Goten, not to mention the multitudes of ploys of her own to start with -- and he was almost positive those weren't real tears. Apparently, Erasa did _not_ know these tricks because she peeked her head out of the room. Gohan almost fainted at her dark makeup, but decided it would probably better to encourage the blonde.

Videl's shoulders were shaking now. Marker threw Gohan a "What should we do?" look, but Gohan just shrugged helplessly. "I just wanted to make this play special. We're not going to be here next year, Erasa. This is our last year at this school, our last chance to do this. But I understand," when Videl picked her head up, real tears glistened in her eyes. "I don't blame you. I blame myself. How stupid I was to think I could actually pull something like this off. I'm a failure. I don't deserve to direct!" _Here's the clincher_. "I don't deserve to live!"

"OKAY! I'm coming out!" Erasa burst out of the dressing room, gothic clothes and all. "Are you happy now, Videl?"

Videl stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Ecstatic," she said in happy voice. Erasa's mouth dropped open. Marker smacked himself in the forehead. Holy shit, that girl _was_ GOOD. They had to get her in this play if it was the last thing they did. "Now Erasa. Let's work on your first song," Videl pressed the play button, winking at Gohan. "Start."

"I hate men.  
I can't abide 'em even now and then.  
Than ever marry one of them, I'd rest a v—

"Viiiiiidel!" Erasa whined, making Videl throw her arms up and stop the music.

"What _is_ it, Erasa?" Videl's patience was wearing thin.

Erasa poked her fingers together. "I can't say the 'v' word! It's _dirty_!" she squealed.

Videl mentally went through all the swear words she knew and she did know quite a few, especially since she began training with Vegeta. "What? There's an 'f' word, a few 's' words but 'v'? What word are you talking about?"

"Don't make me saaaaaay it, Videl!"

Videl blinked and looked down at the script. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what the word is, Erasa!"

Erasa motioned for Videl to come closer. "_Virgin_," she whispered in her ear, putting her hands on her flaming cheeks. "Oh, I can't believe you made me say it. It's so naughty!"

Videl felt her old friend, Mr. Twitch, take over her left eyebrow again. "Erasa. Virgin is not a dirty word—"

"Oooooh, Videl stop saying it.  You're making me blush."

Videl bit her lip to keep from saying some real swear words at her best friend. "Okay, how about this? Instead of virgin, you can say maiden, okay? 'I'd rest a maiden rather'. Got it?" Videl turned the music back on, very proud of how she handled the situation.

Erasa opened her mouth to sing, when she closed it again. "VI. DEL."

_WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE, YOU WRETCHED GIRL!? Okay, note to self. Cut off all connections with Vegeta. Forever. _"What is it, Erasa?"

"Hate is such a strong word.  Maybe I could said something like 'I _don't like_ men.'  But oh, that makes me sound like the 'L' word," Erasa put her hand to her cheek. "Oh dear. How dirty."

Videl nearly exploded. She couldn't let the voice inside of her head (that sounded suspiciously like Vegeta) telling her to blast this girl into next Tuesday take over. "The 'L' word?" Her shoulders were shaking with rage now.

"A _Lebanese_!" she whispered, though it came out more like a stage whisper than anything else.  Gohan and Marker looked at each other, eyes wide, and burst out laughing.

Twitch. Twitchtwitch.  Videl tried to ignore the laughter behind her.  "You mean… a lesbian?"

"Ohhhh, is that it? Well yeah, that too. So about changing the words—"

Videl threw her script in the air, letting the pages float to the ground. "That's it, I'm going home!"

Under the shield of floating papers, Lillia and Erasa grinned wickedly at one another.  Phase One:  Success!   

*

To say Videl was angry was truly the understatement of the century. Her lead had Diva fever, the scenery was falling down (a light nearly crushed sleeping Sharpner during the first scene and if Gohan hadn't pushed him out of the way, he'd be a human pancake) and she had two Super Saiyan Little Brats from the depths of hell come and destroy everything for their own amusement. 

Wouldn't YOU snap after a day like that?

Okay, she amended. Maybe she shouldn't have taken all her stress out of Trunks and Goten, but she had the play, college, and a million and a half other things to worry about and they just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thinking about it more and more, she felt especially guilty when thinking about the look on Goten's face when she was screaming herself raw. Trunks of course took it all in stride and was even smiling at her while she exploded in rage. That, of course made her even madder, which in turn made Goten cry harder. By now, Videl felt horribly guilty at making the youngest Son cry. She made a mental promise to make it up to him later by buying him a few stores worth of candy and letting Trunks deal with his hyped up best friend. 

Revenge was _so_ sweet.

She took a few breaths to calm herself down and started stopped short, surprising Gohan and Sharpner. "What's wrong?" Gohan asked. "Why did you stop?"

Videl nearly cried. Her day was going so terribly the proud girl nearly broke down in the middle of the street in front of her boyfriend and friend. _The sun is warm, the grass is green… _Videl repeated Mr. Miagi's mantra from one of her all time favorite non Jet Li martial arts movies over and over in her head. "I left my radio back in the auditorium. You guys go on without me, I'll catch up later."

"You sure?" Sharpner cowered at Videl's incredibly annoyed look. He and Gohan shared a look of understanding and continued to walk away, leaving Videl to start walking back to the school. 

"I'll come back later to walk you home," Gohan called over his shoulder, walking off with his blond friend before Videl had a chance to respond. 

On her way back to Orange Star, she kicked a can so hard it hit the windshield on a car, shattering it. The car alarm was deafening. She panicked, left a few bills on the damaged windshield and jogged back to school. As she threw open the double doors, she waved half heartedly to some of the teachers still left in the school. Videl walked towards the stage, ripping the cord of her radio out of the wall and tucking the machine under the arm. She took one last look at the unorganized stage and made her way to the exit when something small and pink caught her well trained eyes. Videl made a detour into the second row, putting her radio down on the first seat and picking up the small velvet book.

"'This Book Does Not Belong to Angela'," Videl blinked, reading the cover again just to make sure it really said that. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this book belongs to Angela. I shouldn't be reading this.  Oh well.  It's too late to start developing morals now," she reasoned, flipping the first few pages, recognizing the small, neat handwriting that was covered in sparkles, perfume and hearts. "Let's see…"

_It was a cold winter's night. The sky was clear, the stars were shining brightly from the heavens. But I could not enjoy this romantic setting because  I was stuck in a log cabin, with no heat or provisions. My left ankle was badly bruised, for I had just been chased by a bear. It was the scariest experience of life and I almost got eaten alive when a dark and mysterious stranger came and rescued me. He had thrown the bear off me with such power and strength, I was scared of him for a moment. But when he turned his dark, wild eyes towards me, I knew that he was truly a gentle man. His hazardously obsidian eyes made me want to melt in the cold snow. He was beautifully built at a little over six feet, his chiseled physique truly one of the Greek Gods. His skin was as white as the fallen snow and those exciting eyes were framed with dark, beautiful lashes that would make any girl jealous. He had dark, gravity defying spiked up dark hair, with one piece falling in front his eyes…_

"This guy is starting to sound suspiciously familiar," Videl frowned as she skipped a few pages ahead.

_As the tall, dark man carried me back to the cabin, I couldn't help but ask, "Who are you?" The young man wordlessly laid me down on the bed, propping a pillow under my ankle. "I'd like to know the name of the man who saved me life."_

_"Son. Son Gohan," he replied his deep voice like honey--_

"WHAAAAT??!" Videl shrieked, her voice echoing in the empty auditorium. She clamped her hand over her mouth, trying to calm herself. "Maybe if I keep reading, I'll find out if Angela _really_ wrote this garbage," she reasoned, her logic not quite rational.

_"We'll freeze to death," Gohan informed me, his dark eyes boring into mine. His black tee-shirt clung mercilessly to his muscles. "There's only one option. We'll have to get undressed and press our naked flesh together to stay warm--_

"Oh. My. GOD!" Videl choked. "Gohan would NEVER EVER say the words 'naked' and 'flesh' together in one sentence and oh my God… I really shouldn't be reading this…"

_My breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating so fast, I thought I would pass out right there. I scared, but excited too. I had never done anything like this before, especially with a man such as this. "If-- if that's the only way to survive, I guess we have no choice." I turned away as he started pulling off his shirt. "It's so quiet," I muttered, the silence deafening. I covered my gasp as I heard the sound of the last of his clothing hitting the floor. _

_"And we're alone," he whispered, crawling into the bed with me. I inched myself towards the wall, not wanting to touch him in any way. But I knew what he wanted, for I felt his hot, throbbing, manrod--_

Videl's mind went totally blank. "HIS THROBBING WHAT?!"  Angela was so _dead_, she was dead _five_ _minutes_ _ago_.  No one would _dare_ write porn about her boyfriend while she was around! "Eew, or write porn about him at ALL." 

Against her better judgment, she kept on reading. "Blah, blah, blah, boring, boring, boring—ahh, here we go—"

_As the giant octopus reached out his slimy tentacle toward me, I heard the voice of an angel flying above. "I AM THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!"_

"Tell me she's not serious."

_"I'm the Great Saiyaman and I'm here to say, that I shall not let you get away! I'm going to fight your evil deeds, with my super duper strength and incredible speeds!" The Great Saiyaman once again showed his prowess and aptitude for writing meaningful and catchy raps.  It was like the sweetest poetry._"__

"Now I know this chick is totally, completely, and thoroughly psycho."

_"Oh Magnificent Saiyaman," I breathed, putting my hand to heart. He was extraordinary in all of his spandexed glory, truly every woman's dream.  He pulled me into an embrace, leaning down to take my lips. "But what about Videl?"_

_"Videl who? Oh, you mean Miss Satan. Well yes, you see we had a short relationship, if you could call it that.  It mainly consisted of her yelling at me, bossing me around, and taking advantage of my unreasonably large pectorals—_"

"Of all the **NERVE**! _I'm_ taking advantage of _him_?!"

_"She is nothing compared to you…. While she is manlike, evil and rather bowlegged—_"__

"LIE! THAT IS A LIE! I WALK PERFECTLY NORMALLY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Videl fumed, her twitch coming back at full throttle. 

_"You are a  beautiful, graceful, intelligent, sexy woman and I want you now and forever. Come, let us retreat to my home, into my room where we can listen to Barry White—_"__

Videl blinked. Did Angela know the writers who did the script for that stupid pornography "Seducing Saiyaman" or something?

_I quivered under his touch as he lay his hand on my well proportioned and heaving bosom.  His eyes widened, and he smiled gently.  "And you are also much more voluptuous than Videl.  She was practically an A-cup, you know."_

"How dare she, how _dare_ she, **_HOW DARE SHE_**?! I AM SO NOT AN A-CUP!!!" Videl shrieked, frightening a small freshmen boy who accidentally wandered past the auditorium. "Well I'm _NOT_!"

"O—okay," The boy whimpered and ran off.

Videl was mumbling under her breath as she turned the page. "What does she want me to freaken prove it to her? Just because I don't STUFF my bra with half a freaken box of Kleenex doesn't make me… That girl is deader than dead.  I'm sending Vegeta after her."

_The Brilliant Saiyaman leaned down to whisper in my ear. "The red button on my watch makes the suit appear and disappear. And guess what? I'm not wearing anything under the suit." And with that, he pushed the red button—_

Videl heard someone walk up behind her. She quickly snapped the book shut and shoved it in her bag. "Hey, I was waiting outside for half an hour. Are you alright?" Gohan asked.

Videl couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye, for fear or either laughing or crying. "Um… yes. Couldn't be better."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?" Gohan tried to bend down to look at her but she turned her head away.

"I am too looking at you. Let's go," She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the school. As he went to click a familiar button on his watch, she panicked. "What are you doing?!"

Gohan looked confused. "Well, I was going to wear the Saiyaman suit to fly home—"

"NO! I mean um… I'd like to fly with you as just… you," she said weakly, finally looking him in the eye and trying not to think about manrods or anything like that.   He looked at her as if she had two heads, but took off without transforming, thank goodness.  She didn't think she could keep a straight face if he was in that suit.

After a rather uncomfortable silence in which Videl was trying valiantly not to think about how many different ways she could teach Angela the meaning of pain, she cleared her throat and chose to address a different matter. "Umm.. Gohan, can I ask you a question?"

He looked at her, almost nearly successful at trying not to look horrified.  Questions that started with "Can I ask you a question" were never quite safe.  "Y-yes?"

Videl turned away from him.  "Do you think I'm bowlegged?" 

Gohan let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.  That wasn't so bad, and the answer was easy.  "Of course not," he said.  "You walk normally."

"Oh," Videl said.  "That's good.  Do you think my breasts are small?"

Gohan nearly fell out of the air. "P—p—pardon me?" he choked.

"You heard me! Well, yes or no?" she asked casually.

"… must we talk about your br— um… _assets_ right now?"

Videl rolled her eyes. "It's not like you haven't seen — " 

He clasped his hand over her mouth, looking around the sky frantically.  "You don't know who could be flying around! What would Krillin or _Piccolo_ say if they heard that?"

Videl shrugged. "I don't know, something along the lines of 'Way to go!'? Just answer my QUESTION!"

Gohan gulped. "O-of course not. Th-they're fine."

"Thank you," she kissed him on the cheek and sped up to her house.

_Whoa, dodged a bullet there. I wonder what brought on these questions anyway._

Little did he know that he would find out soon enough.

*

"I'm home," Videl called, throwing open her front door. She ushered Gohan in and threw her bag on the floor. Unbeknownst to her, a certain small, pink book tumbled out of it. 

"Hey," Gohan picked up the pink monstrosity. "What's this?"

Videl's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "GIVE THAT BACK!" Videl made a grab for the book, but Gohan held it over his head. She jumped up and down trying to snatch back the depraved diary. "GOHAAAAAN!" 

"Why you don't you come and get it?" He teased as she practically tore off his shirt to get to his arm.

In a desperate attempt to attain the book, she poked him in his most vulnerable spot, about two inches below his left rib cage (she's have to thank Goku for sharing that little tidbit with her later). He threw the book up in the air in surprise and jumped away from her, coincidentally stepping into an elaborately placed trap. Within seconds, he was dangling at least twenty feet in the air, by his right ankle. "Gohan? Why are you hanging from my ceiling?" Videl asked uneasily, slipping the book back in the bag.

"I'm… not quite sure. Whoever set this trap was fiendishly clever," Gohan acknowledged as the blood rushed to his head and random objects fell out of his pockets. Videl winced and rubbed her head as she was pelted with change. "I sure didn't see that coming," he said cheerfully.

Videl rubbed her temples as her boyfriend continued to admire the guerilla warfare tactics. "Either we have a genetically mutated, three hundred pound vermin running around the house, or someone meant to catch you."

A loud, obnoxious laugh echoed through the halls. "Hahaha, it seems my patented Unwanted Boyfriend Trap was a success!  How are you doing up there, Gonad?" Mr. Satan asked happily.

Gohan waved. "Just great, Mr. S!"

Leave it to Gohan to be amused about being hung from the ceiling like a Saiyan piñata. "GOHAN, Daddy, Gohan," Videl said in a voice that was suspiciously like the one she had used during the rehearsal. "Did _you_ do this?" 

"I can explain," he said quickly.

"Please do."

Satan clasped his hands together as if he were praying. "Well, I was trying out different security devices to keep my sweet, precious, little, daughter safe and I knew that Gohan here," he pointed to the dangling teenager, using his given name, which happened as often as Videl wearing pink taffeta, "would be the perfect test subject. I knew that nothing could really hurt him, so…" Satan laughed again. "I'll have to tell Bulma Briefs that her security system really is the best."

Videl gaped at her father. "You got that thing from BULMA?! I don't even _want_ to think about what she uses that rope for…"

"No wonder it's so hard for me to get down," Gohan said admiringly, pulling on said rope. "Bulma practically Saiyan-proofed her house, especially the kitchen. Vegeta wasn't very happy about it."

Videl snorted. "I'll bet." Videl shook her head, putting her hand on her father's massive arm. "Daddy, you can get him down, can't you?"

"Of course I can!" _I think. _"There's a small red button all the way at the top that should release you." Satan wiped his brow as Gohan finally freed himself and floated to the ground.

Miya walked in, looking amusedly at the three. "Dinner is ready. I made extra, extra, servings for you, Gohan," Miya gazed at the rope in Gohan's hand. "I see Mr. Satan has showed you one of his new toys. They wouldn't hurt anyone too badly," she said brightly. When Mr. Satan was out of sight, she leaned towards Gohan's ear. "I wouldn't step on the white kitchen tiles if I were you." 

Gohan laughed nervously. He hoped she was joking.

As they sat down to eat in the beautiful beige and white dining room with a gorgeous crystal chandelier, Satan watched his daughter and her boyfriend carefully. Gohan had tried to pour Videl tea, but Videl just swatted him away. He noticed how Gohan picked all of the peppers out of Videl's plate and placed them on his own and how she warned him not to even think about putting an onion anywhere near his mouth. Every so often Gohan would know when to serve her more rice, or Videl would pass him mustard before he even had to ask. They were comfortable together, Satan reasoned.

Too comfortable.

Satan cleared his throat and shoved a few heavy envelopes towards Videl as they waited for Miya to bring out dessert. "These came for you in the mail," he took a sip of wine. "And I've respected your wishes and didn't open any of them."

Videl looked skeptical. She shrugged and shuffled through the envelopes, smiling at the number of acceptances she had received. She finally pulled out a thick, yellow envelope labeled "Tokyo University". She looked over at Gohan, who was staring at the pile of acceptances almost guiltily. Videl tried to calm her beating heart as she opened the envelope, a blank expression on her face.  As far as she knew, she was the last of her friends to hear from their first choice school and she took that as a bad sign.  On the other hand, Gohan, Marker, Erasa and Sharpner had all gotten in, so why _wouldn't_ they take her?  But then again, why didn't she get the letter yesterday like all of her other friends?

She pulled a bunch of papers out with shaking hands and silently started to read.  She stared so intently at it that Gohan was beginning to worry and Satan was visibly trembling.

"Well?" Satan asked, nearly bending his fork in half.

Videl looked up, grinned and gave the victory sign. Satan jumped up and hugged his daughter, rubbing his cheek against hers.  Seconds later, Miya walked in, chocolate cake in hand. Videl raised her eyebrow at the yellow frosting that said "Congratulations, Videl!" Miya assured her that the staff had only taken a very educated guess on her admission status.

Gohan turned to her and grabbed her hand quickly, giving it a slight squeeze before Satan noticed.  "This is great," he said enthusiastically, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"It _is_," Videl continued to beam, not noticing Gohan's discomfort.  She would kick herself later for not realizing something was wrong with her boyfriend.  She didn't even seem to register the fact that he wasn't eating the cake that Miya sat in front of him.  It most definitely un-Gohan-like behavior. 

But she didn't notice anything because she was still beaming, filled with pride about getting into one of the best schools in the country and bursting with happiness at the thought of spending the next four years with Gohan.  "You _will_ be living at home, right sweetie?" Satan took a bite of the cake. 

She had to think about how to phrase this answer correctly. "Daddy, the school is over five hours away by helicopter. I'll have to live at the dorm."

… Wrong answer. Videl was defiantly not one to sugar coat anything. "Oh. I see. You're going to leave a dying man… all alone… to die… to die oh so lonely and… so… and so…"

"Alone?" Gohan offered.

"Daddy," Videl rolled her eyes after poking Gohan with her fork for even humoring the man, "you're going to outlive us all. Besides, I'll be home all the time for holidays."

Satan jumped up in his chair, knocking over his wine glass. "But how will I know my baby is safe all alone in a strange place?! You're the only one I have left," he said pitifully. 

"There are things called telephones and computers," she reminded him. "I won't be alone, either.  Most everyone I know plans to go to TU; I'll have Erasa, Sharpner, Marker, and Gohan with me. Isn't that right, Gohan?"

Before he could answer, Satan put his hands on Gohan's shoulders. "You must protect my daughter in my absence, son. If anything happens to my baby I'll be forced to kill you."

Gohan almost spit out the milk he was drinking. "Y-you can count on me, sir," he said, after clearing his throat.

Videl glared at the two. "Oh good grief, you two. Like having Gohan around is going to stop me from taking candy from strangers, having illicit sex with men three times my age, or getting into a gunfight or two. I can take care of --"

"VIDEL! What have I always told you about taking candy from strangers?! That's it; you are _not_ going to college," Satan panted.

"This is going to take awhile," Gohan commented, standing up. "I better get going." He waved to Miya and thanked her for dinner, said his goodbyes to Satan, and walked towards the front door.

Videl smiled apologetically as she saw him out of the mansion. "You probably got the same treatment from Chi-Chi last night, right?" she asked, lingering at the door.

"Actually no. She lectured me on staying away from college girls. She thinks they're as bad as city girls," he smirked.

"Well then, tell Chi-Chi she can rest easy. No city or college girl will bother you when I'm around." She pulled his face gently down to hers. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Gohan opened his mouth as if posed to tell her something, but then shut it quickly. He gave her an even quicker kiss and promised to call her later. Videl tried to ignore her father's ranting as she sacrificed her piece of cake and snuck up to her room, quickly locking the door. She sighed once more as she heard her father screaming and crying all at once about how Videl was leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaving him and how cooooooooooooooooooooooooould she leave him all alooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone?  She felt bad for Miya, who had to listen to him for the rest of the night.

Without a second thought, she dived onto her bed, pushing books and clothes she had just recently purchased out of the way.  There was a loud crack, and before Videl could blink, she found herself freefalling through her floor. 

She couldn't help it; she screamed.  Blackness surrounded her as she began and endless drop to God only knows where.  But she didn't have time to think about where she was going to end up.  Trying desperately to hang onto the bed that was quickly falling from under her, she regained her balance and stopped both herself and her bed about ten feet from the ground.   Taking a deep breath, she descended slowly to the ground and dropped the heavy Maplewood bed frame down next to her.

She looked around.  She guessed she was somewhere in her basement, surrounded by pillows which would have broken her fall.  "What the hell is _this_?" she screamed, wondering if she was going to have to fly both her and her bed up to her bedroom.  "Do you think I have time for this, Daddy?  I KNOW YOU'RE UP THERE!"

A ray of light illuminated the small space and Satan's head appeared at the opening of the floor that she had fallen from. "Well," Satan called sheepishly from thirty feet or so up. "As part of the I put in a trap door—"

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"Excessive movement and weight triggers the trap door mechanism," he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So if there were more than one person on it and those people were engaging in activities that… that…"

Videl's eye twitched. "Involve excessive movement?"

Satan smiled and clasped his hands together.  "I knew you would understand!"

"DAAAAAAADDDDDDDDY!!!"

"Don't worry Pumpkin," Satan assured.  "I'll have the trap door taken out posthaste."

Videl sighed.  "Good."

"As soon as you promise not to move away and leave me all alone!" he finished.

"That's emotional blackmail!" she exclaimed, aghast.

"Is it?" he asked innocently, slowly closing the trap door.  "I hadn't noticed."

"Oh, he is going to pay," she promised, enveloped in darkness once again.   "He will pay dearly."

*

End!

**Chapter 16**:  Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in After School Activities and the Art of Partnership

The little pink book makes a reappearance, Videl loses a bet, Gohan busies himself with the Yearbook to alleviate his guilt about Verona, and Goten lets the cat out of the bag in a major way.


	17. Misadventures in the Art of Partnership

**-About Misadventures-:**  The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan started out simply as being a peek into the ten year gap between episodes 288 and 289 of Dragonball Z.   However, as Keryn and I fell more and more in love with the character Videl Satan, we realized that Toei and all those other people did a horrible job with her character in those ending episodes of DBZ and in Dragonball GT. (Akira Toriyama, we don't blame YOU. Heh, as if he actually reads these things.  But anyway).   Common housewife, humph.  We don't think so. From there, Misadventures has taken the alternate road, asking, "If those big shots in charge had done this and that with Videl, how would things have been different?" Therefore, episodes after 288 simply don't exist.  But you already knew that. 

**-Mailing List-:**  If you'd like to be notified once new chapters are posted (or when your authors post other things) please e-mail Ilana at Sunyzangel143@aol.com, subject:  Mailing List.  Or you can go to our website and sign up there.  Your name will be added to our ML and you will receive updates whenever we get off our lazy asses.

**-Disclaimer-:  Gohan**: *stands behind a podium, shuffling through papers looking nervous* The authors would like to clarify everyone's suspicions of certain *coughs* things that might or might not have occurred in the last two chapters. I did not have sexual relations with that woman *points to Videl*.  
       **Videl**: … now I'm that WOMAN?!  
       **Gohan**: *clears his throat* What I mean to say is--    
       **Vegeta**: What this socially inept fool is trying to say is that he was unable to rut  
       properly with the demon child. That is all. *walks off*   
       **Yamcha**: *looks up from his 'Misadventures of Videl and Gohan DBZ box set*    
       Does that mean that Gohan got to cop a feel?  Schweeeeeet.  
       **Gohan**: … no comment.

_DBZ still does not belong to us…_

**       Videl**: I DID **NOT** SIGN OFF ON A DVD SERIES DEAL! I'M CALLING MY   
      LAWYER!  WHERE IS MY LAWYER?  
      **Lawyer Vegeta**: In my professional opinion, I think we should just destroy the   
      authors.  
      **Keryn**: *peers*Hey, are you using a magic 8 ball to solve your cases?  
      **Lawyer Vegeta**: *shakes magic 8 ball discreetly* No.

_…and with good reason._

      **Ilana**:  If you haven't gotten the hint yet, to answer the burning question that   
      everyone has been dying to know the answer to is no, Videl and Gohan did _not_   
      have sex in chapter 14.  I really do believe that based on their respective canon   
      personalities, Videl and Gohan wouldn't have sex until they were married, or   
      maybe engaged.  _Maybe_.  For the mere purpose of making this piece of fiction   
      realistic, you can safely assume that Videl and Gohan have sex sometime   
      between the four years that pass between the planned chapters of 24 and 25.     
      Misadventures is for semi-mature audiences (by semi-mature authors, keep in   
      mind) who can keep an open mind, but it will never be blatant, little pink book   
      smut or even heavily implied sex.  If you're into that sort of thing, you'll have to   
      look elsewhere.  Thank you.

**      Yamcha**:  Does that mean that Gohan got to cop a feel?  Schweeeeeet.  
      **Ilana**:  *puts head in hands*  Why do I even bother?  
  


**The Misadventures of Videl and Gohan  
By** CCS Angel00 and Absolut Angel  
**Brought to you by:  ***sings offkey*Waves and Rocks  
  


--------------------  
**Chapter 16: **Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in the Art of Partnership  
--------------------

Videl winced as she placed an ice pack on the left side of her ribcage and lay down on the uncomfortable floor of the GR, resting her head on her denim jacket. She gazed at Vegeta as he silently typed up her progress, wondering if the stoic look on his face meant that she had done well, or he was absolutely horrified at even taking the young girl under his wing. _If he had a problem with something I did, he would have said so, _Videl thought, rolling her eyes and taking the ice pack from her ribs and put it in her right hand. _This is one man who has no problems with honesty and the more brutal it is, the better. _

Actually, Vegeta hardly _ever_ lied to Videl.  And because he was so painfully honest with her, she felt that she owed it to him to be true, to both herself and to him.  It had become a silent agreement, a true covenant of honest between pupil and master.  (This, of course, barred the whole scale incident because that was just a _little_ joke and Vegeta really thought it was funny the way Bulma screamed after thinking she gained three hundred pounds). Videl was grateful that Vegeta rarely ever took advantage of it and asked her anything too personal or embarrassing, and so, in turn, she rarely tried to use it against him. 

"My father is really crazy," Videl said absently, wiggling a few fingers to regain some feeling in them. Vegeta's grunt of agreement signaled he was interested in the story she was about to tell. "He set up traps in my house in order to catch Gohan."

"And they worked?" Vegeta asked before he could help himself, trying to fight a smile that was threatening to break out on his face. He found himself doing that more and more while in the demon child's presence. 

Videl tried to sit up and instantly regretted doing so. "Gohan was strung up from my ceiling for a good ten minutes and he really couldn't get down. And then, if that wasn't bad enough, my father had to nerve to booby trap my bed so that if there was excessive movement or too much weight on it, it would crash through a hole in the floor and tumble down into the basement. Oh, did I mention that he would have _left_ me in the basement had I not been able to fly out of the hole? I swear, that man has finally cracked!" Vegeta finally gave in to the wicked grin, which spread across his dark features like wildfire. "Your _lovely_ wife made these torture devices, by the way, and I fully intend to have a talk with her about this."

"As do I," Vegeta said seriously, finally closing the consol. "If those traps worked on Kakkarot's first mistake, they'll definitely work on Kakkarot."

Videl raised her eyebrow at her mentor. "Planning to set a few Kakkatraps, Vegeta? How surprisingly juvenile of you. What happened to a good, old fashioned blasting into the next dimension?"

Vegeta looked faced her, arms crossed over his chest. "When one tactic fails to work, _child_, you must carefully examine other means of getting the job done," Vegeta said indignantly. 

Videl snorted and finally rose from the ground. "You just want to lore Goku into a trap and see him dangle ten feet in the air by his ankles," she said accusingly. "Oh well. Whatever works, I suppose."

"Damn straight," he agreed, finishing up with the data entry.  "Get up off of the floor, brat.  You look pathetic."

Videl winced at the pain in her ribs, and the blow to her pride.  Vegeta always had a way of taking her down a notch.  Or two.  Or ten.  She sat up uneasily, wondering just how she had survived the last couple of months of training with Vegeta.  "I am pathetic," she mumbled, though she didn't quite mean to say the words out loud.  "Sometimes I wonder if I'm just wasting my time."

Vegeta said nothing, but crossed his arms over his chest and snorted.  "If you feel that you are wasting your time here, you are free to leave at any time.  God knows I have better things to do than kick your sorry ass all morning."

Two hours.  She had been able to spar with Vegeta for two hours today before collapsing into a boneless heap at her teacher's feet.  She had anticipated more than a quarter of his attacks, and was able to defend herself cleanly half of the time.  Two whole hours she had lasted, frantically trying to break open his solid defense, hoping that the punches and kicks that did manage to do so (few and far between as they were) delivered more than a passing blow.

"Am I wasting my time?" she wondered, shifting the ice pack.  She wasn't ready to stand, just yet, but her ribcage was already feeling better.

Vegeta turned to her and his gaze was cool and calculating.  "Do you think," he asked, leaning against the GR console, "that I would be here if you were?"

Videl smiled.  "You really don't have anything better to do anyway, Vegeta."

He reached down, and in a swift motion, yanked her to her feet.  Her ribs screamed bloody murder and she had to bite down hard on her bottom lip to keep from yelling in pain as the ice pack fell unceremoniously to the floor.  The coppery bitterness on her tongue told her she had just drawn blood, and, she had to remind herself that though Vegeta was honest, he was never _nice_.  

Bastard.

"Don't you have to go to school, or something?" he asked in a bored tone, totally ignoring the fact that his current pupil was about to double over in excruciating pain and was really tired of having her blood paint this goddamn room every morning.

She took a deep breath and wiped her mouth.  "I have to shower, and then Gohan is coming to get me so we can go to school together."  She carefully walked over to the far door that led to the main house and opened it with a touch of a button.  "Our lives are so hectic now, it seems like school is the only time I get to see him."

Vegeta grunted and turned away, signaling that he was going to remain in the GR room, and he didn't care about her stupid problems with Gohan.  Or, at least, he was pretending not to care.  Videl had learned long ago that although Vegeta looked condescendingly upon "teenage melodrama", he had no problems watching from the sidelines and laughing at it.

"I thought you might enjoy the fact that Gohan seems to be actively avoiding me," she said as a parting note, slinging her jacket over her shoulder.  "Since you only enjoy yourself at my expense."  

"Shut up and get out," he growled.

"I'm gone."

She was halfway to the guest bath when she heard him give a short laugh, and she could almost imagine him shaking his head.  "And don't worry," his booming voice drifted past her.  "I take a certain pleasure at _everyone's_ expense."

"Fuck you, Vegeta," she said, but she was laughing.  "Fuck, fuck you."

*

Marker looked at his watch, wondering what was keeping Videl. She had asked him to meet him by the locker bank right before practice. "I wonder what she wants to talk to me about," he raked his hand through his sandy hair nervously. "I hope it's not about what I think it is.  Maybe I should just make a run for it while I still can run. And have my legs…"

"Marker," Videl confidently strolled down the hall, albeit a little slower than usual, due to her sore ribs. She finally reached his side, her icy eyes drilling into his. "We have practice soon, so I'm going to get to the point. I'm sure you're aware of the class standings?"

He was; in the middle of homeroom, Principal Naoki made the announcement that class rankings were posted outside of the college office. Gohan was named valedictorian (surprise, surprise), Videl was named salutatorian, and he himself was third. It hadn't bothered him much, considering he was third out of a class of over two hundred, and he really couldn't think of two people who were more deserving of those titles. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I'm going to step down from salutatorian and you're going to give the salutatorian's speech at graduation," she informed him.  Her gaze was cool and calculating, her tone leaving no room for arguments.

Marker fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. "I can't do that." Before he could blink, he was thrown against a locker. Videl was holding him a few feet off of the ground by his collar with one hand, the other hand balled in a fist. "U-uh… you're holding me kind of… tightly..." he wheezed, closing his eyes.

"You can't do it?" She asked him in a low voice, her blue eyes flashing at him.

_Be strong, be FIRM. You promised Gohan that you wouldn't back down…_

_!!!Flashback!!!_

"Marker, congratulations on getting third," Gohan had approached him right after English class on their way to lunch. "Just to give you a heads up, Videl's out for blood. She doesn't want to give a speech at graduation."

"Even after the speech she gave to the old geezers, she's still scared?" Marker laughed.  He paused, his tone becoming more serious. "What does that have to do with me, Gohan?"

"If I know Videl -- and I do know her -- she's going to try to step down and let you take over as salutatorian," Gohan faced his friend, a dark looking passing over his normally cheerful features. Marker gulped audibly. "Don't let her talk you into it."

Marker giggled nervously, wondering where everyone else had gone and why he was stuck along with Homicidal!Gohan.  And was he the only one who was beginning to think that Gohan was inflicted with a bit of bipolar disorder?  The transition from Dawson's Creek to Texas Chainsaw Massacre took less than point two seconds. "There probably won't be much talking if she wants me to do the speech Gohan," Marker's voice was at least two octaves above his usual tenor. "She'll just beat me up until I either say okay or pass out from blood loss."

Gohan's eyebrows dipped down dangerously as he clasped a heavy hand on Marker's shoulder. Marker's knees nearly buckled under the pressure. "If you let her step down, Videl will be the least of your problems, I assure you."

"Gotcha," Marker squeaked, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

Gohan suddenly transformed back into Cheerful!Gohan. Marker sighed with relief. "I'm _so_ glad we understand each other. See you later!"

"Yeah.  Bye." Marker's legs finally gave out as he slumped into a wooden chair. "Why didn't I slack off in school when I had the chance?"

_!!!End Flashback!!!_

_"_I won't let you step down, Videl," Marker said, opening his eyes and instantly regretted it. He was at least eleven inches taller than her and outweighed her by a good forty or so pounds, but while she was pure muscle, he was, in the kindest sense of the word, puny, for his almost six foot frame.  Whereas Videl, however tiny and pixie-like she may be, was looking straight though him with a slate blue stare that told him he was going to be minced meat before this conversation was over.

Maker sighed.  It just wasn't fair.  He was going to be killed if he didn't let her step down.  However, he didn't look forward to the prospect of being pounded into the ground by Gohan, who was even taller than him and looked like he ate guys like Marker for breakfast, if he was swayed. Maybe, just maybe, he could get through to his long time friend and convince her that she should give the speech without ending up in more than one piece.  "S-so, just let me go because you won't change my mind. B-but if you put me down we can talk about this calmly and reasonably on our way to practice--"

Videl glared up at him for a good two minutes that lasted forever, but finally relented and let him go. Marker flailed a bit before hitting the ground, head first. He sat up gently and rubbed his forehead, wincing at the bump forming. "Did Gohan put you up to this?"

Gohan's scary face popped into Marker's mind. Then scary Gohan strangling him. Then scary Gohan pulling out a chainsaw, laughing manically… "Um… I wouldn't say that he put me up to it per se…"

"I swear," she put her hands on her hips, momentarily forgetting about slaughtering Marker. "That boy lives to torment me." She grabbed Marker, who was currently crawling on all fours trying to get away from the angered girl, by the collar, hoisting him to his feet. "Let's go pay him a little visit, shall we?"

Marker whimpered as Videl pulled him towards the room where Gohan and Lillia were currently finishing a yearbook session. Still holding Marker's arm, and rather tightly, Marker thought with disdain, Videl popped her head into the room.  She narrowed her eyes at Gohan and Lillia, who were huddled together around a table that was filled with photographs and scraps of paper and whispering too quietly for Videl to catch what they were saying. While Videl wasn't usually a very jealous person, she couldn't ignore the fact that Gohan had been spending nearly every moment he had with Lillia, working on the stupid yearbook. But the thing that _really_ pissed her off was the fact that they stopped whispering about whatever they had been whispering about as soon as she showed up. "Hello," she said frostily.

"Hey Videl," Lillia said sweetly.  Too sweetly, Videl thought malevolently.  The florist organized a couple of pictures into a pile and smiled.  "What's up?"

"V-videl!" Gohan looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  His cheeks reddened considerably as he took in the state of girlfriend's companion's appearance.  "Marker? What happened to you?" Marker's shirt was missing the first two buttons, was severely rumpled, and his hair looked liked it had been caught in a tornado.

Marker scowled at him, glancing at Videl's hand which was firmly attached to his arms. "Hurricane Videl happened to me, man! I told you she was going to kick my ass but nooo, you just had to go and — "  He caught the enraged look on Videl's face and stopped while he was ahead.

"Don't let us interrupt you," Videl said, somewhat bitterly, dragging Marker towards the door and completely forgetting about her original reason for coming in. Marker mouthed a frantic "help me" that Gohan had intelligently ignored.

Lillia put her hands up amicably. "You're not interrupting anything, Vi —"

Videl let her gaze sweep over Lillia, her gaze making Lillia's blood freeze in her veins and her voice die in her throat. "We're going to practice. Later," she said with a finality in her tone and hauled Marker out of the room, not looking back.

Lillia leaned back in her chair, glaring at Gohan. "You better tell her about your acceptance to Verona soon, Gohan. I can't take much more of this. You think I need Videl Satan as an enemy? She looked ready to blow my head off!"

"I can't and you better not either," Gohan collected his book and shoved them into his beige messenger bag. "We had a deal, remember?  And she's better off not knowing I even applied. Videl would be _volcanic_ if she found out I was even _considering_ going. And then if she found out I had gotten in and didn't go, she would think it was all her fault."

Lillia picked up a few photos, shuffling through them. "You're not giving her enough credit. She's a big girl, Gohan. You can't hide things and protect her from every little disappointment in life."

"I can try."

Down the hall, Marker resigned to his fate of being pushed around by a certain irate teen. "Vi, about the speech—"

"I'll write the best fucking speech Gohan has ever seen, mark my words," she threatened, kicking open the double doors and throwing Marker down the aisle of the auditorium.

Marker nearly hugged Erasa and Sharpner, when they came into sight. "Yo, Videl. What's bugging you?" Sharpner asked, eyebrows raised at her angered attempt to shove a CD in the CD player.

"SHUT UP."

Sharpner looked at the disheveled and half sobbing Marker.

Like he needed to be told twice.

*

Vegeta blinked as he spotted an unfamiliar small, pink, fuzzy book laying by his foot in the gravity room. It most certainly did not belong to him, and if it belonged to Trunks, then a long overdue talk was in order. He picked it up and raised an eyebrow at the title. "This Book Does Not Belong To Angela? Who the hell is this 'Angela' person and how would this book get into the gravity room? Maybe it's the demon child's book… she is certainly clever enough to make someone think that this book belongs to this 'Angela' when in reality it belongs to her. She must have dropped it before she left for school." Vegeta gave himself a pat on the back for figuring out Videl's true intentions. 

He headed to the kitchen for a well deserved snack he had earned by figuring out the mystery of the pink book. Unable to help himself, he cracked open the book, quickly scanning the contents.

_"It's so quiet," I muttered, the silence deafening. I couldn't stop from gasping as I heard the sound of the last of his clothing hitting the floor. _

_"And we're alone," he whispered, crawling into the bed with me. I inched myself towards the wall, trying to keep myself from his reach. But I knew what he wanted, for I felt his hot, throbbing, manrod pressing against me. Oh, how I longed for this stranger called Son Gohan to take me again and again and again and again and again and again and again —_

Vegeta's lip twitched slightly. Did his pupil really write this smut? Well, well, well… his respect for her had just gone up a notch.  He didn't think she would have the balls for something of this caliber.  Of course, the story was still paltry and amateur compared to his latest naughty Danielle Steel novel — ahem — _Bulma's_ Danielle Steel romance novel, that is.

He just read them for the senseless sex, of course.

He flipped ahead a couple of pages with one hand while reaching to open the refrigerator with the other.

_"You're so beautiful," Gohan said to me, trailing a finger down the length of my body.  We had just made love for over eight hours –_

"As if," Vegeta snorted, peering at his food choices.  There was a cellophane covered plate of leftover – and fairly lethal – lasagna from the night before, which Vegeta wisely passed over.  He may have been able to choke it down last night, but two days in row of Bulma's biohazardous meals might just do him in for good.  There were dozens of deli meats, cheeses and appetizers on a couple of platters, but that would require actual effort to put a meal together.  He passed over the fruits and vegetables section and went right to the chocolate shelf.

It still amazed Vegeta that his wife had an entire shelf devoted to the confection, especially since she claimed that she was always on one diet or another.  One day she was counting points, the next, carbohydrates.  But that chocolate shelf was always well stocked with candies, cookies, cakes, muffins, bars, and so on.  She claimed that she kept the sweets for Vegeta and Trunks, but Vegeta knew better.  If Bulma was going to sneak down to the kitchen at four in the morning and gorge herself on chocolate covered Oreos under the guise of going to the bathroom, that was her business.  

Bulma favored the cookies and Trunks loved the endless supply of Hershey Bars, but Vegeta was traditional in his love for good old chocolate cake.  And today, right up front and staring him in the face, was a humongous, chocolate-frosted devil's food cake.  He smiled at his good fortune.  Grabbing a fork and a glass of milk, he skimmed the little pink book as he walked over to the kitchen counter and prepared to devour the entire cake.

_"Oh, Gohan," I moaned, helpless to stop the desire fueling inside of me.  "Do what you will."_

_His mouth was on mine and his hands continued their journey everywhere.  "Shh," he said softly as he began to make love to me for the tenth time that night – "_

"Virgins," Vegeta smirked into the cake.  "So hopeful, and yet, so delusional."  He speared a piece and was about to bring it to his mouth when he remembered exactly how the cake had gotten into the fridge in the first place.

"Vegeta," Videl had said that morning, sliding the cake into the refrigerator before heading off to train, "I baked this cake last night and I need it for later, so please don't eat it."

At the time he had said something along the lines of how he wouldn't eat anything she baked anyway, but now that it was right there, right in front of him looking so delectable, the idea of eating it became _even_ more enticing seeing as he wasn't supposed to.

Vegeta eyed the cake wearily.  Why didn't she want him to eat it?  Did she bake it for some school bullshit?   For that ridiculous play she was always spending time rehearsing when she should be in her proper place, training?  For Gohan, who she was always spending time with instead of in her proper place, training?  Or worse… what if she had baked it for –

Vegeta heard footsteps and he turned to see his wife approaching, her cerulean hair falling into her eyes and her short, blue dress unfortunately covered by a rumpled lab coat.  Her eyes were squinted and her nose wrinkled, and Vegeta knew that she had spent in the morning locked up in her lab, working on the plans for the mass production of the Z-bot.  Her normally rosy cheeks were pale her normally sparkling blue eyes were dull.  "Oh Vegeta," she said, her voice tinged with exhaustion.  "Good morning."

"It's nearly three in the afternoon," he replied, leaning back in his chair.  "When was the last time you saw the sun, woman?  You're more ugly than usual when you work yourself to death."

She collapsed in a chair next to him.  "I love you, too," she said, and peered closely at him.  "Is that the cake that Videl baked?"

He nodded.

Bulma's eyes narrowed.  "Didn't she tell you not to eat that cake, Vegeta?"

He nodded again.

"Didn't she say that you'd be very sorry if you ate it without her permission?  That you would die a horrible death at her hands if you laid one grubby finger on the cake she worked so hard to bake?"

"So?"  He sounded as if he didn't give a shit what Videl would do to him, but Bulma knew better.  His face was contorted into a frown and he still hadn't taken a bite, and to Bulma that meant he was feeling an emotion that he usually didn't associate himself with, one that confused him and was as alien to him as the planet he lived on.

Guilt.

But this would not do, Bulma thought, tapping her fingers on the table.  She had a lot at stake, and she would not stand idly by while Vegeta tried to figure out why exactly he was feeling guilty about such a meaningless thing.  It would take him years to own up to the fact that he actually _liked_ the girl. "Vegeta," she said, her voice losing its tired edge and taking on a tone that Vegeta couldn't quite identify, "you better not eat that cake."

"And why the hell shouldn't I?"

"Because," Bulma said sweetly, "she told me that she baked it for the person that she admired most, the one person in the whole world that she looked up to and revered.  She told me that she baked it for him because he's the most handsome, wonderful and strongest man in the entire world – no, the entire universe – and he's her hero.  She's training her hardest to be just like him, and to make him proud."

Vegeta smirked.  Of course.  Videl must have baked the cake for _him_, and wanted to be there when he enjoyed it.  "Well, if that's the case then – "

"So you really shouldn't eat it," Bulma finished as if Vegeta hadn't spoken, "since it's for Goku."

There was a deafening silence, only broken by the clang of the fork as it dropped out of Vegeta's hand and landed on the counter.  Bulma tried her hardest not to laugh as Vegeta's face turned eight different shades of red and looked like he was going to explode – or, at least, cause something else to explode. She patted herself on the back for another job well done; after all, it took a certain je ne said quoi to get one over on Vegeta.  

"Is that so?" his voice was even, though his hands were trembling with anger as he reached to pick up the fork.  "Why that little… how dare she… I'll show _her_."  With that, he started shoveling the cake into his mouth as fast as he could.  In seconds, the entire cake had disappeared, and all that was left was a cake dish and a couple of crumbs.  "There!  Looks like she'll have to bake another one if she wants to impress her precious _Kakkarot_."  He spat the last word like it was something vile.

Bulma really had to stop herself from grinning.  Videl would not be happy that Vegeta had eaten her cake, not happy at all.  And the poor girl had actually believed that Vegeta wouldn't eat it if she asked him nicely.  However, Bulma thought happily, Videl hadn't counted on Bulma playing on Vegeta's weakness and hatred for his rival, which she so skillfully used to make sure Vegeta ate the cake.

She really _was_ a genius.

"There, there," Bulma said kindly, patting Vegeta's arm.  "I'm sure Videl will bake you one too, if she isn't too mad that you ate this one."

"Treacherous _bitch_," he was still reeling, though the cake was long gone.  "Unfaithful, underhanded, disloyal… "

Bulma's eyes caught a flash of something pink and furry.  "What is _that_?" she asked him, hoping to get his mind off of Videl's "faithlessness".  She had only wanted him to eat the cake; she didn't want him to be angry at Videl.  "Is that yours?"

It took Vegeta a second to process what his wife was talking about.  "Oh, this," he held up the book to flash her the cover that proclaimed it absolutely, positively did not belong to Angela.  "It's the demon child's."

"Angela?" Bulma asked.  "Wasn't that the girl who blackmailed Gohan to get him to go out with her?"

"Do you think I care?" he asked, getting up from his chair.  He left the book on the table.  "It does make for interesting reading, though."

"Going to the GR?"

Vegeta nodded as a Z-bot (Bulma had a complete set – this one was Krillin) wheeled around him to clean up his dishes.  He leaned down and lifted Bulma's chin with a gentleness that was so characteristic of him – when no one else was around, anyway.  His eyes were cold, however.  "You look like you haven't slept in days," he said, releasing her and turning to walk away.  "If you don't look better when I see you again, I'm going to lock you in the bedroom until you sleep.  Do you understand?"  Without leaving room for arguments, he disappeared upstairs to drag his son to train.

Bulma leaned back and, once she was sure Vegeta was gone, walked over to the far edge of the kitchen where she had previously placed a security camera.  Removing the tape, she grinned widely.  "Videl Satan… you are _mine_."

With the tape securely in her lab coat's pocket, she started to make her way to the bedroom.  Halfway there she paused, doubled back, and picked up the little pink book.  "Interesting reading, hm?" she mused, slipping the book in with her tape.  "We'll just see about that."

*

Videl crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently. Just what, exactly, was keeping Gohan and Lilia? It had been at least a half an hour since she had seen them last, together she might add, when she had _so_ graciously reminded them about practice. What could they possibly be doing for half an hour?

Everyone cringed as they heard an audible growl from Videl. 

"Okay, Erasa, you're on. Let's work on 'Reflections' since our male lead had decided to flake out on us," Videl jammed the CD into the CD player savagely. 

Erasa cocked her head to the side, looking thoughtful. "Why doesn't someone just go and get Gohan and Lilia? What are they doing?"

"Will you just get your ass on stage?" Videl snapped, making the blond 'eep' and run onto the stage. "This rehearsal is happening with or without Gohan and Lilia."

As if on cue, the auditorium doors swung open, revealing a flustered Gohan and a panting Lilia. "Sorry we're late!" 

"So nice of you to join us," Videl said dryly, looking up from the CD player to scowl at Lilia. Lilia cowered slightly behind Gohan, who was laughing nervously. "Dare I even ask why you two are thirty minutes late? Need I remind you that we have other, more important things to do with our time then wait for you two? " She briefly reminded Gohan of his own mother, scolding Goten for staying up past his bed time.

"We were finishing just up—"

"It was all my fault, Videl—"

Videl rolled her eyes and motioned for them to sit down. "Forget it. Just start, Erasa."

"I vote we make Videl take her Midol _before_ practice starts," Sharpner whispered loudly to Marker, who was struggling to put his football pads on.

Videl turned her glare towards Sharpner. "Sharpner, I see all that bleach is adding to your receding hairline. Have you ever thought, 'Hair club for men'?"

"Ouuuuch," Marker cried as he finally managed to pull a shoulder pad on. Holy shit, this equipment weighted a ton! Did he really have to wear this for the whole play? "Buuurned."

Videl threw one last glare at Sharpner, Lilia, and Gohan, before turning the CD player on and listening to Erasa start the opening notes for 'Reflections'. Videl finally relaxed for the first time that day. Erasa had a lovely soprano voice that was perfect for that song, if not for the fact that her voice was a bit on the weak side. This was the first time she had heard Erasa sing this particular song, which had some very hard notes to reach and she really—

_When will my reflection show  
Who I am in--iiiide?_

--skipped the second to last word of song. "Erasa," Videl said in a strangled voice. "What, in the world was that?"

"High E over middle C?" Erasa asked weakly, referring to a particularly hard and high note in the end of 'Reflections' that most people had problems singing.

"Uh. No," Videl crumpled her script in her hands. "I have no idea what that was. What happened to the rest of that word, Erasa?"

Erasa pouted. "I can't reach that note Videl, I just can't. I tried and I tried a million times but I just can't sing it the way it's meant to be sung. You know, Christina Aguilera had problems with that note too!"

Videl put her head in her hands. "Well, we can either re-write it or just not sing that verse, I guess."

"No, no! Videl, we can't just leave out a verse that is essential to the song! To the play! To the character who is Phe Montague!" Lilia stood up in her seat, waving her arms dramatically.

Videl turned her icy stare to Lilia. "Then why don't you come up here and sing it?"

"I can't sing," Lilia said bravely, thankful there was at least three rows between her and Videl. "But I know someone else who can sing it."

"Jyou?"

"No… well probably. But he's off at college right now."

"Marker?"

"'Not I,' said the State Puff Marshmallow Jock," Marker answered as he finished putting the padding on. He took one step and tumbled down the aisle, landing head first into the box of props.

Videl snorted. "Will someone please help him?"

"Videl, you could sing that note!" Lilia insisted

"No, I can't, and in all honesty, I didn't expect Erasa to either. I was planning to leave out that verse anyway, so don't worry about it," Videl countered, her voice starting to rise in annoyance. 

Lilia clasped her hands together. "I know, you can sing the song!"

"And you can go to hell!" Videl angrily replied. 

"Videl!" Gohan exclaimed in an astonished voice.

She scowled at him. "What?" 

"Why are you being so mean? Lilia hasn't done anything to you," Gohan chastised.

"What's it your business?" 

Sharpner sucked in his breath and whistled. "Oh ho ho… trouble in paradise."

"SHUT UP!" they turned to Sharpner and cried in unison.  They quickly returned to glaring at one another.  

"Why are you acting like this? You never act like this," Gohan frowned at her.

"How would you know? You're never around!!!" Videl accused, fists clenching at her sides. "Or maybe you're AVOIDING me!"

"I am NOT avoiding you! I've just been busy!  You've been busy too, but you don't see me accusing _you_ of avoiding _me_!"

"Excuse me, excuse me," a way too cheery voice called from the third row.  Angela, the bane of Videl's existence, was waving a dainty, perfectly manicured hand in the air.  "Is practice canceled?" she asked innocently.

"Sit down and shut up you bubbled-headed, smut writing BIMBO!" Videl screamed, a vein throbbing on her forehead.

Angela put her hands over her mouth and gasped audibly. Marker stuck his head out of the costume box. "Smut? Where? Where's the smut? I don't see any smut."

"VIDEL!" Gohan groaned and slapped his forehead.

"And by the way," Videl said icily over Gohan's shoulder. "STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!"

Gohan turned his eyes towards the ceiling and prayed to God that they would all leave the auditorium alive.

Sharpner slapped his hands together, rubbing them maniacally. "Reeeeoooowrr! Hiss! The claws have come out! Cat fight!" Several boys in the chorus turned around and started hooting and screaming, hoping to see some pulled hair and maybe a ripped shirt or two.

"OKAY! ENOUGGGGGGGH!" Videl screamed. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Gohan, we'll talk about this later. Angela, just don't talk anymore.  And Lilia, I'm sorry," she said quickly, nodding towards the pink haired girl. "I'm just having a really, really, bad day. So, let's just get on with the practice, shall we?"

"Awww, no cat fight?" Sharpner whined.

"Double awww, no smut?" Marker asked, his disappointed voice muffled in a feathered boa.

Lilia rolled her eyes. "Videl, can't you just try and sing the song? Maybe show Erasa a few techniques? What could it hurt?"

Videl poked her fingers together, uncharacteristically bashful. "It's just—well, I don't like to sing in front of people. I don't even let Miya hear me sing in the shower! But, if it's for the sake of the play, I guess I could try. Don't be surprised if the glass shatters when I get to the high E over middle C," she warned as she slipped a microphone headset on.  She could do this. It wasn't a big deal. The auditorium was practically empty. Then why were her legs trembling so badly?

_There's a heart that must be free to fly  
That burns with a need to know the reason why  
Why must we all conceal  
What we think,   
How we feel?  
Must there be a secret me   
I'm forced to hide?_

Videl was so engrossed in singing, she didn't notice the pointed looking Lilia threw to Erasa, or Erasa's thumbs up in response.   And Erasa didn't even have to pretend not being able to hit that note.  She really _couldn't_.  Phase II, Getting Videl On The Stage, was practically an accident!  And she was _awesome_.  The strength of her voice was perfect, her tune and pitch flawless, her emotions pouring out from the center of her being.

_I won't pretend that I'm   
Someone else  
For all time  
When will my reflection show_

Everyone paused and waited for the screeching, horrid high E over middle C that would inevitably come out of Videl's mouth. Sharpner even put his hands over his ears, just to be sure.

_Who I am inside?_

It never came.

Everyone in the auditorium looked at Videl, mouths agape. Sharpner took his hands off his ears, clearly taken aback. Lilia dropped the script she was holding. She had wanted Videl to sing, because she knew Videl had an amazing voice, but she had no idea Videl would actually be able to hit the high E over C.  The instrumental continued without her, as she was clearly too surprised to finish the song.

After the final notes played, a stunned silence followed.  "Um…" Videl coughed after a few more minutes of silence. "Beginner's luck?" 

_How the hell did I DO that?!_

"How the hell did she do that?" Marker voiced out loud, crawling out of the costume box and dragging his heavy body across the floor. "Videl, you rock!" He cried out as Lilia and Erasa ran over him to get to Videl. "Ouch. Note to self: Buy a steel jock strap for the show."

Videl stood there shocked as Erasa and Lilia jumped around her, grinning and saying, "We told you so."   Her previous rage and jealousy practically disappeared as she was surrounded with praise and compliments.  And she was rather proud of herself.  She had sung a particularly difficult song _on stage_ and _in front of people_.  And those people were _applauding_.  

And it felt _great_.

She had forgotten the rush of adrenaline and the sound of the blood pounding in her ears that came with performance.  She had forgotten the her love of the stage and the song, the love that she had lost long ago when she had lost her mother…

_But still, even then, I couldn't have hit that note_, she thought as she glimpsed Gohan beaming at her with pride.  Her stomach contorted with something awful as she realized how she was treating him.  She shook off Lillia and Erasa and walked over to him.  "I'm sorry," she said quietly, looking as the floor.  "You didn't deserve any of the crap I tossed at you today.  I would understand if you were angry with me."

A soft hand on her shoulder caused her to look up.  He was looking at her so softly, with such adoration, that it almost broke her in two.  "I'm not angry," he told her.  "Honest."

She bit her bottom lip.  "You should be."

"You know, it's funny," he said softly, reaching to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.  "Even when you hated me, when you glared at me from the other side of Erasa like I was your worst enemy and when you chased me at a hundred kilometers an hour in your jetcopter, I couldn't be angry with you.  I may worry, and I may be upset, and I may feel a million things about you at once, but I promise you, if one of those things is anger, it doesn't last more than a second."  He looked at her and smiled.  "I find that it's impossible to be mad it you, Videl Satan, and you'll just have to accept that."

"Even if I call you a goober and a nerd and throw plates and dishes and expensive vases as you in a rage of jealousy or anger?" she asked innocently.

He raised on eyebrow.  "Should I be looking forward to that in the future?"

Marker rolled his eyes in the background as Sharpner finally reached in pulled him out of the box of props.  "Damn.  It's the return of Joannie Loves Chachie.  And here I thought we'd finally see some fisticuffs!"

"When you start hurling silverware, Videl," Sharpner added, "call me."

"Shut up you dorks," Videl started to say, but was interrupted with Gohan's lips on hers.  The entire audience – with the exception of Angela, perhaps – erupted in a second round of applause, accompanied with a whistle or two.

"You know, I don't think your normal silverware would do that much damage," Marker mused out loud over the applause.

Sharpner grinned.  "Then Videl better put titanium dinnerware on her wedding registry."

Videl finally pulled away from Gohan, cheeks red.  "Okay people," she called, putting her hands up to stop the applause.  "We have work to do!  Erasa, get your butt back up here and try this verse again.  This time we'll do it this way -- "  Videl started to explain the correct breathing procedures, but in the back of her mind, she was still wondering how she was able to high that high E.   _Maybe I because my stomach muscles strengthened after all that training with Vegeta?  It's certainly possible, I guess.  And speaking of Vegeta… I wonder if he ate that cake. Ooooh, if he did he is in SO much trouble. Actually, I kind of feel sorry for him if he did… he's going to be very, very sorry._

*

Trunks put down the Playstation controller and glanced at the clock.  He frowned when he realized it was nearly half past four and he had yet to cause any significant trouble during the day.  Goten was coming over for dinner later with the rest of his family and Videl, so he'd probably get a chance to talk Goten into wreaking some havoc, but right now he was terribly bored.

He tiptoed out of his room quietly and walked down a long hallway to his parents' bedroom.  He cracked open the door to find his mother snoring loudly on the king sized bed, taking a well deserved nap.  She did work too much, Trunks thought as he closed the door.  She needed a vacation, but for now he supposed a little sleep couldn't hurt.

He took the elevator down to the main floor of the house and wandered into the kitchen, which was empty.  He opened the fridge and grabbed a chocolate bar, munching loudly as he exited the kitchen and headed to the GR room.  The light was on, as he knew it would be, signaling that Vegeta was training, as per usual for this time of day.  Or for any time of day, Trunks amended to himself, staring at the GR door in awe.  He had been in there less then two hours ago, training with his father in two-hundred times gravity, but it still amazed him at Vegeta's will and endurance.   

"He's psycho," was Trunks' final analysis as he finished off the chocolate bar.  

Trunks continued down the main hallway and when he came to the massive double doors that lead to the corporate division, he put his eye towards the retinal scanner and was granted admission.  After waving to the security guard, he rounded the bend and took the elevator to the third floor, where his mother's laboratory was.

When he was younger, he had hated where his mother worked, but it was probably because he spent a huge amount of time there.  When he wasn't training with his father or being spoiled rotten by his grandparents, his mother took him to work, so that she wouldn't miss out on motherhood at the expense of her business.  He had resented it for some time (in only the way a five-year old could resent someone) but after growing up a bit, he began to respect her for it.

And he also began to enjoy coming to work with her.  He loved hanging around the labs and the scientists, listening to them brainstorm about new ideas, marketing and strategies.  He loved watching his mother work, putting things together and taking things apart, seeing where and how pieces fit and even if they didn't, making them.  He never felt guilty about causing trouble because he knew that when his mother was his age, she was doing the exact same things.  Because the world bored her, and it bored him, and they took it upon themselves to add a little excitement.  Shake things up.  Make things interesting.

He punched in the code to his mother's office and entered.  His intent was to utilize the copying machine and later show Goten a various array of Xeroxed body parts, but something pink caught his eye as he was walking towards her desk.  He wrapped his small hands around it and read out loud, "This Book Absolutely, Positively Does Not Belong to Angela."

Trunks blinked.  "How very Goten," he drawled, opening the book to the first page.  "This Angela girl… very swift."  The sarcasm was lost as there was no one around to appreciate it, so Trunks began reading.  As he scanned the pages, his eyes got bigger and bigger.  "Swift… and _perverse._  What the hell is this book doing in my mother's office?  It should be in an x-rated book store!"

Trunks closed the book and tapped it against the desk.  How could he use this to his advantage?  He could use it to torture Gohan, he supposed, but that wouldn't be fun considering that Gohan would probably make him return it to that Angela person.  He could use it to torture Videl, but he had a feeling that this book would make her seriously angry, and he wanted to annoy her, not get caught up in a volcanic eruption.

He took the book anyway.  Maybe he would give it to Goten later.  Ah, the questions Goten would probably ask Goku, Trunks thought, and he almost laughed out loud.  Now _that_ would be torture.

He started to make his way back down to the main house.  On the way, he passed his grandfather's office at the end of the hall and stuck his head inside.  "Hey Grandpa," Trunks called good-naturedly.  "Whatcha up to?" 

"Oh, Trunks my boy!" Dr. Briefs put down the blueprints he was working on and motioned for his grandson to come inside.  As usual, his small black kitty was perched on his shoulder and a cigarette was dangling from his mouth.  "I'm working on a new cell phone design.  Want to take a look?"

"Maybe later," said Trunks, and he meant it.  He really was interested in all of this stuff, even if it would be the death of him.  He really wasn't looking forward to taking this all over when he was older, but was resigned to the fate.  At least if he were in charge he could escape through the window once in awhile, or something.  "Hey Grandpa?  Can I ask you a question?"

Dr. Briefs beamed.  "Of course, my boy.  Is it about these new cell phones?  Of course you'll be the first to try it out, along with your mother.  We're trying to make them small enough to fit inside of the ear, and all of the dialing is voice activated and all the information is provided through the internet, giving hands-free a whole new meaning – "

"It's not about the phones, Grandpa," Trunks interrupted, though now he was going to drive himself crazy waiting for the new toy.  "I actually wanted to know… what's a 'manrod'?"

Dr. Briefs' jaw actually dropped and the cigarette came crashing down onto the mahogany desk.  He managed to compose himself and put it out quickly in an ashtray before it could start any fires.  He turned to his grandson, who was radiating a look of pure, unadulterated innocence, and just gaped.  "A… a what?"

Trunks furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  "A manrod."

Dr. Briefs stared at him, and then, in a move that was so characteristic of him, turned to the kitty sitting on his shoulder.  "Kitty, do _you_ know what a manrod is?"

Trunks nearly slapped himself.  "Forget it, Grandpa.  I'll just ask Dad.  See you at dinner."

Dr. Briefs chucked to himself as Trunks left.  "You do that, Trunks." He turned to his beloved cat once more. "Kitty, I do believe we are the only sane ones left in this house."

"Mreowrr?"

Trunks made his way downstairs just in time to hear Videl and Gohan walk through the front door.

"Videl, why don't you believe me? Someone is trying to kill me!"

"Gohan, no one is trying to kill you."

"The overhead lights _and_ all five sandbags fell on me when I started singing. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!"

"It's not a conspiracy, it's shoddy equipment," Videl rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Gohan. Everyone likes you.  No one wants to kill you. Now, a conspiracy against Sharpner, that I might be inclined to believe, but not you. Never you."

Trunks waved to the two arguing teens, a familiar looking pink book in one hand. "Hey Videl.  I bet you know the answer to this question. What's a manrod?" he asked casually.

"… Where did you get that?" Videl's cheeks painted themselves a pretty scarlet.

Trunks shrugged. "Mom's lab."

"… the… lab…?"  Holy shit. How did it get to Bulma's lab? Did people read it? More importantly, did VEGETA read it? AND think it was hers?! "Give me that book, Trunks."

Trunks stuck his tongue out at her. "Nope."

"What do you mean, 'nope'?!"

"I think I'm going to keep it. It's rather interesting," Trunks grinned at Videl's red face. Man, all this time he wanted a big brother, while he should have been wishing for a big SISTER to annoy!

Videl made a grab for the book. "GIVE IT TO ME YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!" Trunks made a run for it, giggling manically as Videl chased him through the kitchen and the dining room. Trunks' fun was cut short as he collided with a massive chest, which was connected to a massive Gohan.

"I'll just take that, thank you," Gohan plucked the book out of Trunks' hands and studied the cover.  " 'This Book Absolutely, Positively Does Not Belong To Angela,' " he read.  He scratched his head.  "Well, if it doesn't belong to Angela, I wonder who it does belong to."

Both Trunks and Videl groaned audibly, but it was Trunks who spoke first.  "Gohan, the title is obviously an ingenious ploy to make the reader believe that this book does not belong to Angela when, in fact, it does."

"It _is_ rather ingenious, isn't it?" Gohan repeated.  "Well, I guess we should give it back to her, right Videl?"

Videl made a grab for the book, but unfortunately, she lacked the requisite ten inches required to be successful.  "Come on, Gohan.  Give it to me.  I'll give it back to her, I promise."

But Gohan was staring at the book so intently Trunks could almost see the wheels turning in Gohan's massive brain.  He may have been naïve, but Gohan was better than most at putting two and two together.  "What exactly is written in the book that you want it back so badly?"

"You shouldn't read it," Trunks said pleasantly.  "You may be scandalized."

Gohan looked startled.   "You don't mean… you were being _serious_ about the smut, Videl?"

Videl was saved from answering as Bulma's bright blue hair was suddenly visible from the staircase.   "Hello," she said, her voice still hazy from sleep.  "Videl, Gohan, I thought you two were going to be coming over later."

"Practice ended early," said Gohan, shrugging.  "Someone's trying to kill me, but Videl doesn't believe it."

"I'm sure you're just imagining things, dear," Bulma said vaguely.  She turned her attention to Videl, who was still trying to grab the little pink book of porn from her boyfriend.  "By the way Videl, I have some bad news.  Vegeta ate the cake this afternoon."

Videl stopped mid-air, her mouth dropping open.  "He _didn't_," she nearly cried, horrified.  "Tell me he _didn't_."

"I did," drawled a voice from somewhere behind her, and Videl turned to see Vegeta, staring at her in a very smug manner.  "So what?"

Gohan and Trunks watched with interest as Videl continued to look stricken.  "I told you specifically not to eat it!"

"He almost didn't," revealed Bulma happily.  "But when I told him that you baked it for Goku, he – "

"I can't _believe_ you would stoop that low," Videl said in a low voice. 

Bulma grinned, pulling a shopping bag out from behind her back.  "The watch mechanism isn't ready yet, but you can still try on the outfit to see if it fits."

"Do you know what's going on here?" Gohan asked Trunks amusedly.

"Not a clue," replied Trunks, "although I hardly ever know what's going on around here."

Videl stared at the little bag like it was infested with the plague.  She when whirled around to face Vegeta, who was still smirking at her like a smarmy bastard.  "I didn't bake that cake for Goku!"  

Vegeta blinked.

"But I didn't bake it for you either!"

Now everyone was looking at her strangely.  "Bulma and I had an argument the other day," she started to explain, clearly agitated. "I stupidly defended Vegeta and his morality – which, it seems I shouldn't have – and when Bulma informed me that Vegeta had no morals, we decided to make a little bet.  I baked a cake, and I told Vegeta, very nicely, not to eat it.  I thought that he would feel guilty about it and choose to eat one of the other hundred thousand things in the kitchen, but Bulma had to go and tell him that I baked it for Goku!"

She started really yelling then, all of her anger directed towards Vegeta.  "If you had left that stupid cake alone, Bulma would have had to fire her ridiculous assistant!  You complete jerk!  I can't believe I thought you would actually feel _guilty_ about something!"

Vegeta's face was stoic and his voice was calm.  "I never claimed to possess any ethics, you know."

"You're going to wish you did," Videl said.  "You're really going to be wishing you did.  Because there was a special ingredient in that cake."

Bulma raised an eyebrow and, as if on cue, Vegeta's face contorted into a horrible frown.  Without so much as excusing himself, he practically flew up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door behind him.  Videl was so angry with him, so incredibly angry, that she really didn't care if it sounded like he was throwing up a seven course meal.  "A little fallback plan, you could call it," she said casually.  "Because if I had to suffer, Vegeta better the hell be suffering as well."

"What did you put in that cake?" Bulma asked concerned.  "You're didn't poison him or anything, did you?"  Now she felt guilty, damn it.  She should have known that Videl would do something like this.  "_Did_ you?"

"No," replied Videl calmly.  "Only ipecac."

"Videl, you didn't," pleaded Gohan.

"_Woman_," came a strained voice from up the stairs.  "And demon spawn," he managed, after another round of retching.  "_YOU WILL BOTH PAY_."

Bulma sighed and hung her head.  "I have no doubt that I'll be paying for this later, but you, my dear," she pushed the little shopping bag into Videl's hands, "are paying for it now.  You lost the bet, and now you have to wear the costume I designed for your crime fighting."

Videl's eyes widened.  "But you _cheated_!"

"And you poisoned my husband!" Bulma retorted, and pointed towards the downstairs bathroom.  "Go change.  NOW."

Trunks cringed as his tuned sense of hearing picked up muffled curses from the upstairs bathroom, and he didn't want to know what those sounds were.  "What is she changing into, exactly?" he wondered as he heard similar curses coming from the downstairs bathroom.

"You said a costume to fight in, didn't you? Is it… leather?" Gohan asked, trying to sound neutral.  He let his imagination run away with him as he imagined all the different outfits Bulma could have made for her. Something along the lines of the leather ensemble Jennifer Garner had warn in Daredevil, would be enjoyable. Leather. Tight… black… leather… no. Spandex. YES. There was nothing sexier, in Gohan's mind, than some good, old, spandex. Unless Vegeta or some other guy was wearing it. But if his own, gorgeous girlfriend would wear some… body-hugging, curve inducing, enticing, lovely, wonderful, divine, spandex…

Bulma tried to smother her giggles as Gohan's eyes glazed over. Ahh, the wonders of being a hormonal teenager. Well, she would not disappoint him with the outfit she had made Videl. "It's not leather," Bulma managed to say without erupting into laughter.

"Oh dear GOD," The three turned towards the direction in which the strained voice was coming from. "Bulma, you're a sick, sick woman. Did you design this in the dark? This is just… oh man. How am I ever going to live this down?"

Bulma winced at her husband's obvious retching and made a silent promise to take many pictures in which he could torment Videl with later. "Come on out, dear. We're all very excited to see how you look."

"I _hate you."_

The door to the downstairs bathroom opened slowly. Videl stepped out, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment. Gohan nearly keeled over has his innermost wishes were granted:  she was wearing _spandex_.   It was almost an exact replica of the high necked, full body spandex suit he wore underneath his Saiyaman costume, only in a royal purple tone instead of black.  A turquoise, sleeveless, wrap-around tunic fell to the top of her thighs and was accentuated with a white and gold belt sitting neatly around her waist. A salmon pink cape flowed behind her and was fastened to the tunic at her shoulders by two gold buttons.  Matching boots and gloves completed the outfit, both as white as her face.   Videl was clearly scandalized as she stood in the living room of Capsule Corp holding the pink and white helmet under her arm.  She knew she had lost the bet and it was a matter of honor, but she had her pride, damn it, and she was unable to make herself put it on.

"Holy spandex, _Saiyagirl_," Trunks snorted and then doubled over in laughter.  "This is too much.  I need to go get my camera."

Videl's steely gaze fixed him in place.  "You will do no such thing Trunks, or I'll make your mother make you one and STUFF YOU INTO IT LIKE AN ITALIAN SAUSAGE."  She crossed her arms over her chest.  "I refuse to be subjugated to this torture, Bulma.  I'll _wear_ anything else, _do_ anything else… just don't make me go out in public in this thing!"

"A bet's a bet," Bulma replied, buffering her fingernails.  "Besides, you don't think dealing with Vegeta later is going to be torture?"

Upstairs there was only silence.  

_I hope he passed out_, Videl prayed, _because if he sees me in this, I'm going to die._  She turned to her boyfriend, who was currently gazing at her like he'd never seen her before.  His eyes were dark pools, lit only by the reflection of overhead lights in the room, and a small, goofy smile played across his lips. 

"_What_?" she asked, annoyed.  She rubbed her temples gently.  "I know it's hideous, I know, you don't have to say anything -- "

But he didn't have a chance, because her watch started beeping incessantly.  Closing her eyes and resigning to her fate, she answered.  "Videl Satan."

"Videl, we've got a robbery in progress on the corner of Fifth and Denmark," the captain said urgently.  "Your assistance would be greatly appreciated."

She bit her bottom lip.  "Well Captain, right now isn't exactly a very good time so I think I'll take a rain check on this one -- "

But Gohan had already transformed into this Saiyaman outfit, complete with turban and shades.  Oh, no! she thought with horror.  He wants to go out there in these hideous, matching outfits!  "We're on our way, Captain," he titled his head down and spoke into her watch.  At her stricken look, he put a hand on her shoulder.  "Isn't the safety of others more important than how you think you look?"

"But… but… the helmet!" sputtered Videl, but eventually sighed.  "And the CAPE.  And it's PINK!"

Bulma was trying everything in her power to keep from laughing out loud, and Trunks was still nearly rolling on the ground.  "All you're missing is a golden lasso," he managed to say, not even trying to contain his laughter, "although you probably shouldn't use it on people who'll tell you how you really look." 

"Why you little – "  Videl made a grab for the youngest Briefs, but was stopped by a strong hand on her shoulder.

"We should go," he said.  "If it makes you feel better, I think you look hot -- "  He reddened.  "I mean, beautiful."

Trunks nearly choked as Videl turned an ever brighter red and dragged them both of the house, her cape flapping in the wind behind her.  "Mom," he choked, nearly purple from lack of oxygen, "you're a _genius_."

She looked left, and right, and then grinned.  "Want to go steal the security tape?"  Bulma motioned towards the microcamera by the fireplace.

"Shouldn't we go make sure that Dad's alive?" he asked, gesturing upstairs towards the eerie silence.

They looked at each other and cackled, heading towards the security camera.  "Nah."

*

They flew through the air rapidly, and Videl prayed to God that no one would recognize her in the Outfit of Doom.  The deal was that she would have to wear it for a week, but she didn't think she would be able to last that long, especially not with the way that Gohan was looking at her.  He was _lusting_ after her in the goddamn suit, she realized, fairly appalled.  Not only had he checked her out in a completely obvious manner as they were leaving CC, but he had not been able to wipe that goofy, distant look off of his face.  She was going to MURDER HIM once this suit was off, but she had to wait until she was back in street clothes because there was NO WAY she was going to take mug shots in the pink and blue monstrocity.  

"Gohan," she started, cradling the helmet neatly in her arms.  "It is absolutely imperative that no one find out that it's me under this suit, okay?"

He just kept on staring.  "Okay."

"So _please_ don't call me Videl in front of anyone, okay?"

"Okay."

Videl blinked, realizing now that Gohan was not listening to her.  "You know Gohan, I'm really a princess from the planet Saturn and am using a glamour to look like an Earthling.  My real form has seventeen tentacles and technically I'm neither male nor female, so I thought you should know before we went further with this relationship."

The goofy look remained.  "Okay."

She smacked him upside the head, knocking him out of whatever fantasy his mind was running through.  "GOHAN!"

He blinked and blushed a bright red.  "Oh, Videl!  Um, were you saying something?"

Videl hung her head.  "Just to ease my troubled mind, please, please tell me that you don't actually fantasize about me in outfits like this," she gestured to the spandex with the helmet.

"Well, no," he said, his eyes glazing over again.  Videl nearly smacked _herself_ this time.  All those years with Chi-Chi must have cause him to repress seventeen years of sexual energy.  And of all of those times to start expressing some.  When he spoke again, his voice was distant.  "Usually you're not wearing anything at a -- " 

Videl nearly dropped out of the sky, falling at least six feet before being able to stop herself.  Gohan coughed and cleared his throat.  "I mean yes.  Yes you are.  Sorry."  He wisely changed the subject as Videl managed to compose herself and regain her place next to him.  "So what should I call you?"

"I don't care," she replied.  "As long as you don't call me Videl."

"How about Saiyagirl?" he suggested, remembering Trunks' comment.

"How about you bite me?"

"Fine," he sounded wounded.  "Not PC enough for you, I get it."  He snapped his fingers.  "You can be Saiyaman, too!  Then we can really be partners!"

"Too as in also, or two as in the number?" she asked.

He furrowed his eyebrow.  "I don't know.  Which would you prefer?"

They suddenly came up to the crime scene, so Videl had no time to debate it.  She stuck the helmet over her head and hissed, "I don't care.  Just not Videl.  Got it?"

The two teenagers landed, and made quick work of the two robbers.  As Videl stuffed them both into the cop car (and tried to ignore their lewd comments about spandex and references to leather and underwear), the press descended on Gohan.

"Saiyaman, it looks like you have a new partner," one blonde reporter said, sticking her microphone in Gohan's face. 

"That's right!"  he said, grabbing Videl.  He put his arm around her and dipped her as if he was dancing with her, his eyes sparkling behind his sunglasses as Videl's cheeks turned bright red below the visor of her helmet.  "Isn't she great?"

"Well of course," another reported said.  "We all saw how she took out the robbers.  But who _is_ she?"

To her pure and utter horror, Gohan spun around and launched a barrel of completely ridiculous poses.  She stared at him, mouth agape, as he broke out moves that hadn't been seen since the eighties.  "Someone stop him," she whispered to whatever deity was listening.  "Good God.  He's doing the moonwalk."

Her boyfriend spun one last time and pointed at Videl, who was trying to inch away without being seen.  Flashbulbs popped as Gohan pointed a gloved finger at Videl and exclaimed gleefully, "This is my partner, Saiyaman Two!"

"Too as in also, or two as in the number?" the blonde reporter asked, notebook out.

"Uh…" Gohan scratched his head.  "The number.  And if you're wondering…. Saiyaman Two is absolutely, positively not Videl Satan!"

Videl smacked herself again.  It was just going to be one of those lifetimes.

*

A figure hidden in shadows clicked off the six o'clock news, Videl's cute face ( though hidden by a hideous helmet) disappearing from the screen, "It seems we have a slightly new development," he said, his voice laced with disappointment. "I don't know how he got her to wear such a thing, but I do believe she's been brainwashed. We must take drastic action to separate them!"

There was a murmur of agreement through the crowd, One boy stood up, his hair  
obscuring his eyes, "We've been trying our hardest, Honored Leader," he said sadly, "Nothing seems to faze Son! We've dropped more scenery on him than they use in Broadway plays!"

Another girl stood up, shoulders shaken with anger, "I don't know who decided that the only person that was going to get hurt would be beloved Gohan! If you're going to drop stuff on him, you should be dropping stuff on the bitch also!"

There was a wave of, "Yeah!" and "Kill the bitch!" that were decidedly female, and the leader realized that if things were going to work out, he needed harmony, He couldn't have the boys and girls at each other's throats like this. It was disrupting, not to mention the effect it was having on morale, "Listen up!" he screamed over the din, "Hey. Hey!" He put two fingers in his mouth and blew. The screech managed to quiet everyone down, finally. "Girls, listen.  We've only decided to target Son Gohan because he's inhumanly strong.  We're not trying to kill him," he stressed, though it would be nice as an added bonus.  "We're just trying to put him out of commission."

The girls positively growled.  The leader put his hands up in defense.  "And then, when he's hurt, weak and vulnerable, you girls can somehow convince him that this was all VIDEL'S fault, and he'll turn right to you."

This seemed to placate them.  "Okay, now children, play nice.  Nothing will get done if we're too busy beating each _other_ up to see straight."  The leader pulled out a white dry erase board and a purple marker.  "_This_ is what we're going to do…"

*

Videl dragged herself across the lawn of Capsule Corp, her cape dragging behind her, her helmet dangling from two fingers at her side.  She was _tired_.  After the robbery, she had to deal with a hostage situation across town, a warehouse fire a few miles outside of the capital, a couple of snot nosed kids who thought they were the fashion police and the goddamn press who wouldn't leave her FUCK alone.

Videl was going to make Bulma pay, but first, she was going to nap.

"It wasn't so bad," Gohan tried, but wisely decided to shut up at the glare she shot him.  The media had hounded her to the point where she had to throw her helmet at a cameraman, totally exposing her true identity (which everyone had guessed hours ago anyway).  She looked like she was going to kill someone, and he really hoped that it wasn't him.

She halfheartedly opened the front door.  "I'm not staying for dinner," she told him.  "I'm just picking up my bag and going home."

Gohan could only nod.  Anger and throwing things he could deal with.  Silent stewing and near pouting were harder to swallow.  "I'm sure they'll understand."

"They don't have a choice," she said, but there was no malice in the words.  "Do me a favor, Gohan?  Grab my stuff from the living room while I tell Bulma I'm going home?"

He nodded, and disappeared down the left hallway.  She continued on to the right, the echo of her footsteps loud in her ears.  She hoped to catch Bulma alone but from the voices drifting from behind the large oak doors, she knew that would be impossible.

"Where's Vegeta?" Goku was asking, his words mumbled because he was probably talking while eating, as usual.  "It's not like him to miss dinner!"

Videl smirked.  "Never mind," Bulma said quickly, and Goku was silent.  She must have given him some more food.  

"I'm worried about Gohan!" trilled Chi-Chi.  Surprise, surprise, Videl thought.  "He should have been here by now."

She put her hand out and moved to open the door when she heard Goten say, "Maybe he's telling Videl about how he has to go far away."

She froze, hand still hovering over the doorknob.

"How many times do we have to tell you, Goten?" Chi-Chi said, agitated.  "Gohan isn't going far away."

Videl's heart was beating madly in her chest, and there was a throbbing in her ears that muffled the voices even further.  "I take it that he still hasn't told her about Verona, then," she heard Bulma say.

"It's not like he's going."  That was Goku.  "Does it really matter if he tells her or not?"

Footsteps behind her.  Footsteps behind the door.  Fingers immobile above the brass handle, tears frozen behind her eyes.   

"Videl, I have your -- " Gohan's voice was far away as the door was suddenly yanked open by a Vegeta serving bot.  The two stood, rooted in place, as the bot swept past them carrying dirty dishes, muttering at them to get out of the fucking way.

"I just don't understand why he didn't tell her in the first place," said Bulma from inside the room, setting the last of the food onto the table.  "It's not like she would – " 

Bulma stopped suddenly and gasped, finally looking the direction of the door.  Videl stood behind it, hand still outstretched, eyes wide.  Gohan was pale and frozen two feet behind her, carrying her jacket and bag in his hands.

Trunks whistled the funeral march.

"Videl," Gohan said, closing the distance between them.  "I can explain."  He didn't know how he would justify keeping such an important thing from her, but he would sure try.  The look on her face – the sadness, the disappointment – was breaking him.  He couldn't stand to see her this way.

Silently, she took her bag and jacket from him, and handed him her helmet.  She slung the bag over one shoulder, tossed her jacket on over the hideous outfit, and brushed away the hair that had fallen into her eyes.  Those in the dining room could only stare as she mustered the biggest smile she could and told Bulma in a very empty and disconcerting tone that she was very tired, and wouldn't be staying for dinner.

Thank you, but maybe some other time.

He put a hand on her shoulder as she turned to walk past him, but she shook him off.  "Videl."

She continued to walk.  "I don't think," she said, slowly disappearing down the long, dark hallway, "that I want to listen to anything you have to say right now."

And then she was gone, and he could only stare sadly at the helmet in his hands.

*

**Chapter 17:  Gohan and Videl's Misadventures in Break-ups, Make-ups and Dress-ups**:  Gohan's birthday rapidly approaches and huge party plans are in the works, but problems with Videl are making planning difficult.  She isn't speaking to him, and her issues about his lack of trust in her are growing exponentially.   However, she still has all that other stuff to worry about, including a play that may never happen, a little pink book of porn, and growing evidence to support Gohan's claims that someone is out to kill him.  Unfortunately for Gohan, she can certainly sympathize. 


End file.
